Once again, I am a god

Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus!

Many a time I have returned to this page that you now read, trying to find a sentence to begin.

I have failed, so I figured I could just open with that.

Writing the blog can’t be good for me. I shall simply crack under the pressure like an egg from the annoying chickens in the garden, and then where will we be? Blogless and rubyless.

Actually an egg was a bad example, their form is so structurally sound that they were imitated to create a very tall building in Abu Dhabi, Capital Gate I believe.

I am a fount of knowledge that lacks commitment.

But yeah! So I woke up today, largely unhappy, since my bed should not be called a bed. At risk of being considered as being in poor taste, I would say it’s an affront to the Geneva Convention. It felt like lying on metal slats that dig into my back.

Thinking that I had surely had the worst sleep, I emerged prepared to complain, and was i m m e d i a t e l y thwarted by Lily who told me that at around 3 am she awoke to go to the toilet, but as soon as she opened the door a crack her brain terrorised her, as brains are known to do. Her mind was flooded with images of a movie we watched on Halloween, the Visit I think it’s called, and yeah. She couldn’t leave. Or sleep.

So she watched F1 until morning.

And do you know what’s annoying? I have a list of things that happened in the day, but I rarely give myself enough context to understand what I mean. I just have “dad mocking me” which, like, is a common occurence. So.

Afterwards, I finally caved and did sport with my sisters, because Lily promised me that she would watch Hamilton with me if I did sport with them. So I’m gonna hold her to that.

But it has to be said I am a god at sport.

Afterwards, the chickens that live in the garden kept being so loud and just repeatedly sound like they’re choking, which is why dad hilariously said “are you hiccuping, Lily?”

Those who get it, get it, those who don’t, don’t.

After sport and jokes, Allegra and I made ourselves some aesthetic açai bowls as best as we could, because they had coconut bowls!

Allegra and I were so relaxed. Never had I been more chill. Small talk, polite laughter, calm music, the likes.

Cut to, movie style, Lily basically in the trenches, switching between two phones, three credit cards, half crazed, hands through her hair, on the verge of angry tears.

That’s right, kids! Lily fought in the great Ticketmaster battle of 2025!

Basically, she managed to secure us tickets to see sombr!! Everyone say thank you Lily!

After that fateful day, I retired to write my blog from yesterday, as my sisters tanned by the pool. It seems Lily has abandoned her earlier reservations about the pool I suppose.

That took me hours, and then it was lunch time, so we had fried eggs from the chickens in the garden, which was rather tasty.

And at the end of lunch, I felt very self important because mum and dad read my blog from yesterday and they laughed a lot. Hihihi. Once again, I am a god.

We then got ready for our day, aka going to a beach, so getting ready was fairly simple and included putting on sunscreen.

And then we were off! I was lucky to be in the middle seat instead of the back, and once again I had the music, but I decided to play it safe and put on the family blend. This meant that I got to hear the greatest song of all time.

Mr Brightside by The Killers.

No, I will not be taking questions nor will I debate on this frankly indisputable fact.

Also on the drive, it is worth noting that e Greece there are petrol stations called Eko, and my whole family thinks it is the height of comedy to say, “I think I’ve heard that station before”.

I am included.

And then we were at the beach!! Mum and dad went to buy some umbrellas because it was damn sunny, and my sisters and I joyfully swam in the crystal clear aquamarine water. We alternated between tanning (or lying to ourselves in some cases- I will never tan. I burn. I am an English rose and I blame my mother for my skin), and swimming. We played some very fun games, including the beached whale game, where you lie where the sand meets the sea and the waves push and pull you and sometimes flip you.

I believe the twins’ exact words were, “losers”. They didn’t play.

We then were all climbing on each other and trying not to drown. Also very fun.

But my head was begin to ache and my skin was beginning to burn, and we did pack up and leave since it was getting to be around 4:30.

On the way home, we stopped at a supermarket, bought some goodies and snacks, and then, dad betrayed us because he m a d e us go back to the car, promised it was open, so we crossed the road and it *wasn’t*. So we had to wait outside, looking like fools, as dad moseyed his way around the shop.

But then we were home! I updated myself on the goings on in the world (I love to be informed and I love being the aforementioned fount of knowledge, keeping my sisters informed), as my sisters played cards/swam, and we listened to some more bopping tunes.

We did finish the two little toblerones that we had bought at the supermarket, but who cares. Such is life. Chocolate is good.

For some reason, Tate had a towel on her head, obstructing her peripheral vision. And Allegra got up at some point. Tate turned to say something, but noticed Allegra was not there. She then exclaimed in an accented voice, “oh no! Olgra de Bolgra be gone!”. Lily and I found this to be the height of comedy, Tate can do no wrong.

For reference, Olgra the Bolgra is what we call Allegra. Much like how Allegra calls me Rumple, to my chagrin.

But the fun times soon came to an end, since Lily was reading One Day, a tragic book, and she wept all the tears in her little heart. Of course, I gave her a comforting hug, but those who know me know my deep seated, all encompassing, utter disgust for tears. I cannot stand them.

That made comforting Lily quite hard.

Mum and dad during this time were making a yummy dinner which ended up a-mazing. I do recommend eating food made by mum that is a tomato and cheese and veggie mix. Tis real good.

As they chopped things, I finally got into a comfortable seat, announced this, and within moments Mum asked me to get up. Of course, as a dutiful daughter, I did get the plate she asked for, but equally evidently, being a theatrical child, I exclaimed “I feel betrayed by the woman I once called mother!”.

Mother had no empathy for my plight.

Unsurprising, since, when Lily was crying, mum said, “Lily, if you can’t ha ha handle the book don’t re re read the book”, as her only words of comfort.

Mum is a savage.

We were all perplexed.

Fearing the same treatment, I kept my tears secret, having mastered the art of the silent, tears sliding-down-the-face, movie kind of cry, when I reached the end of my tragic book and cried.

As we ate our top tier dinner, we discussed the original plans that were to go to the live music show at the place where we ate yesterday, but in the end we voted on not going, first of all because we could hear the music from here, and second of all, we were all in swim suits or pjs.

And we’re lazy.

Mum decided her dinner wasn’t getting enough appreciation despite the lavish praise we all gave it, and so she mocked dad’s melancholy sigh. We all laughed.

Now, I can’t recall what exactly lead to this moment, but at some point I was staring at Mum with a joking evil eye kinda look, and Lily said, “oooh, stare off!” To which I replied, “I can’t stare off with a blind woman” (maybe mum disagreed on something I find obvious? Who knows).

Mum then sang a rendition of Anti-Hero, with a few changed lyrics here and there, which left me more and more gobsmacked, until it culminated in, “I would stare in the mirror but I’m blind so I can’t”.

I had to hold back my applause. I could not hold back the bewildered stare.

And finally, we discussed our plans for tomorrow, talking about visiting temples for Apollo and Demeter. I again showed off my fount of knowledge-ness by demonstrating by capacity to name a good amount of Greek gods and their functions, as well as a few myths.

Once more, I am a god. At gods. A god of gods?

Anyway.

However despite me talking the big talk, I rarely check my facts, and may mix things up at times. It comes with knowing a lot of random stuff. Like I said to Lily, never trust something coming out my mouth. I will say it with confidence. I will have no proof.

The conversation concluded with us agreeing that Apollo was God of Allegra’s butt. So. Do with that what you will.

And then came the time for me to write the blog. It was late, and mum and dad kept joking that I always say “I need to write the damn blog” at late times, and then Lily said they should take bets as to what time I would say it tomorrow.

I was hurt. I am willing to say it at a specific time to split the profits with a winner.

But as you may have guessed, based on the beginning of my blog, I had trouble starting, but at one point I said I couldn’t do something because I was writing the blog, when mum dramatically pointed at me, gasped, and said, “you’re not writing the blog, you cheeky sod, you’re reading your newspaper!”

And alas, I was. I had just told them about the tourist that ate the 6,2 million dollar duck-taped banana.

Really, I was hoisted by my own petard there.

Anyway, as I am rather tired due to my terrible sleep, and I faced a lack of motivation, this blog is certainly not among my best.

Sorry!!

Also please forgive spelling mistakes. I am well tired.

And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
Bye family!!!Meer informatie