Day 5 - A Balancing Act

I had a good sleep and wasn’t awoken. I assumed that I obviously didn’t snore, but apparently I did and Jackie had hit me numerous times but I didn’t wake up. It might have something to do with my ears being waterlogged from all that paddle board falling.

Breakfast consisted of toasted bacon sandwiches, which was the first decent bit of hot meat that we had eaten since arriving in France.

After all the usual chores we hit the beach and did a circuit of the lake. I was sat down paddling on the front, whilst cocky Jackie stood up on the back and gave me a tutorial on how to stand up.

Throughout the morning, I tried several times to stand on my board without success. An elderly gentleman offered to hold my board for me, but I declined for fear of kicking him in the head during a fall.

On one occasion I managed to on the very back of the board long enough for it to sink then fly out of the water like Shamu, the killer whale.

My best effort was when I got up for less than 10 seconds but my legs were shaking out of control like the proverbial ‘sh!tting dog’.

My session ended when I took yet another tumble and smashed my shin on my oar, which smarted somewhat.

I have no photographic evidence because Jackie claims she can’t see the screen on the phones.

Jackie then took great delight in showing me how it was done by standing up on the board first time. She paddled around the lake and returned to shore as smug as you like.

I intend to seek my revenge by trouncing her on the Pétanque court.

Jackie started to make chili con carne at lunch, but realised that she had forgotten to pack a tin opener. I walked around the campsite with a tin of kidney beans in hand doing my best Marcel Marceau impression trying to find someone with a can opener. On my 5th tent /camper van, a nice man handed me a tin opener. Unfortunately cooking is not my specialty and when I tried to open my can, the opener went spinning across his lovely table. He opened the can for me to a chorus of “Merci, merci, Merci”. I’m not even sure he was French!!

After lunch of sliced egg sandwiches, we took the board out yet again. It was now quite choppy as a welcome breeze had made its usual afternoon appearance.

Jackie suggested I have another go at standing up, which was a ridiculous idea. Jackie thought that she was too expert now to be put off by the waves.

In the space of two seconds flat, she had stood up and immediately face planted the board. It looked painful, but Jackie wasn’t going to admit that she had hurt herself. Oh dear, never mind. Sadly, it all happened too quickly for me to photograph it.

After showers, we returned to the Pétanque Stadium. We were accompanied by a 3 piece rock band on the stage playing cover versions by the White Stripes, Metallica Dire Straits etc It was like playing at the Super-bowl!!!

The 1st game I won easily 13-5. Halfway through other pétanque players arrived and we were forced to play the game properly and not a long game across 5 pitches.

In the second game I inexplicably lost 13-6. I’d like to say I let Jackie win to stop her getting disheartened, but alas not.

It seems that we both excelled at a sport then we stumbled and fell when we were getting too confident and blasé.

We didn’t have time for a decider, instead we returned to camp for chilli con carne and an early night.

Song of the Day - Stumble and Fall by Razorlight.Read more