Day 15 - Mr Creosote Impersonation

We had a leisurely day planned after our Pyrenean adventures over the previous three days.

We read up on Brittany and Jackie sent an email off to try and retrieve our €99 deposit from Camping De La Dune Bleue. I don’t hold out much hope.

Late morning we got ourselves ready and headed out to Auberge Claverie. We arrived dead on 12 noon to find a very old lady, broom in hand sweeping the restaurant entranceway. We parked opposite, but rather than look too keen we headed in the direction of the midday church bells pealing.

The village of Audaux was very pretty and in the centre we found a 15th century Le Lavoir (Washroom) with 5 large washing stones.

We walked back to Auberge Claverie passing a French trio in a cloud of cigarette smoke.

We were the 1st diners to sit down in the restaurant. The waiter claimed to be able to speak English, but every question we had for him ended with either a “yes” or a “no”. We eventually think we ordered 2 plat du jours, described as asparagus, fish and lasagna, and a large carafe of house red.

It didn’t bode too well when he returned with a bottle of red wine and were wondering whether we had been stitched up by Bob (of Bob and Mary).

The restaurant started filling up until it was virtually full with all sorts diners. There were lots of manual labourers in their work clothes through to posh old ladies dressed up in their finery, as well the smoky trio we saw outside.

Our first course arrived and it was a vat of asparagus soup. The soup was silky smooth and so flavoursome. We both agreed it was probably the best soup we had ever eaten.

We had two and a half bowls of the utter deliciousness leaving just a dribble in the bottom of the vat. Now we were toasting Bob!

The fish course arrived in the form of a salmon flan with a mussel sauce. The waiter had understood that I was ‘seafood intolerant’ and brought me a charcuterie plate with a huge bread basket.

Jackie’s fish was apparently lovely and I ate virtually all of my meat selection with many slices of baguette.

The next course was lasagna which by now Jackie was dreading as she was already full. The lasagna came out as just two squares on a serving plate for us to help ourselves to. Jackie served me up most of it.

The lasagna was not exactly as we know it, it was mainly a dish of melt in the mouth minced meat and carrots topped with a thin layer of pasta, béchamel sauce and herbs. It was very pleasant and between us we managed to eat it all.

Having completed all the meat courses of our lunch, I allowed myself to contemplate whether any of it had been horse. Jackie didn’t allow me to enquire which was probably a good thing.

There was a choice of two desserts , so we ordered one of each which turned out to be a mousse cake with raspberry coulis and the other a very flat apple tart with a caramelised sauce and ice cream. We (mainly I) finished the lot and ended the meal with an espresso. The entire meal with the wine and coffee cost us just €48.

I was absolutely stuffed and I was glad they hadn’t offer us a wafer-thin mint otherwise the restaurant was in danger of being sprayed with a very unpleasant mess. My stomach was like a full hot air balloon ready to pop.

I felt like Mr Creosote as we walked back to the car and Jackie thought she was going down with Elephantiasis. We managed to just keep our eyes open as we negotiated the 9 minute drive back to camp.

The sun was out, so we lay down at the pool like a couple of beached whales.

After an hour’s recovery, Jackie went off to do some laundry. I cooled off under the pool shower and heard Jackie talking to someone in the laundry room. I stood with my ear cocked straining to hear when a cyclist stopped and said “Alright?”

It was the resident noodle-toting pool misery guts. I said “Yes, I’m try to listen to my wife in the laundry room”.

His reply was “Why? Is she having a fight with someone?”

It was a strange thing to say, but I replied, “Maybe”.

Without the slightest provocation he then pointed at me and told in an almost jokingly way blurted out, “No diving, no bombing, no running”.

Oh thank you god, I’d been waiting for this moment. I retorted “Yes and NO shoes” and then I immediately turned and walked back to my sun bed.

I heard him shout “Yes” and then cycle off.

We had a peaceful afternoon until just after 4.30pm when kids and parents started to descend on the pool. Half an hour later, over a dozen kids were in the pool or were diving in, bombing in or pushing each other in. I was praying for misery guts to come to the pool for his noodle walk. The pool rule breaches would have sent him apoplectic.

The final straw for us was when a French family didn’t even acknowledge our presence, but felt it acceptable to pull up sun beds inches from ours. 10 minutes later and with still no sign of misery guts, we retreated to our tent for a few glasses of wine and chill.

Within the fortifications an event was taking place. There was live music and apparently various food tents. We were still too full to investigate, but the music provided a nice soundtrack to end our evening.

Song of the Day - Soup is Good Food by The Dead Kennedys.Read more