The whole nun-baking thing

Right, I’ve already been pulled-up for making an unsubstantiated claim, with this audience it is to be expected - and Kathar1na’s not showed up yet …

This nun baking thing.

Hope triumphed over experience once again and I called in at the convent of the Clarissa’s (the poor Clare’s, who I believe are the female counterparts of the Benedictine’s?)

They have a sideline in selling baked goods; in the case of Tui a dozen fish-shaped almond shortbread biscuits for €10. If they’re still ‘poor’ their cost control must be abysmal, because the gross retail margin on that should be astronomical

It’s a closed order, so the sisters don’t engage face-to-face. The transaction is conducted through a ‘turno’ as follows:

I: ring bell
She (see note): (sound of someone distantly sighing, putting down the ‘sporting life’ and stubbing out a capstan full-strength) (shuffling) ‘Ave Maria; Que quiere?
I: Pescados pequeños pfv
She: €10

I place the cash on the turntable, it rotates at speed and a pack of biscuits appears ( see photos).

Now; my knowledge of the workings of the various religious orders is gleaned entirely from watching Father Ted; so I might be imperfectly informed. If we were in an episode of FT ( which the only RC priest I know describes as a documentary programme); there would be almost certainly be an annual inter-nun baking competition; and it would end in violence.

I can say with certainty that Kirkies mob would beat the Clarissa’s without mercy; because these little almond fish are virtually inedible and Kirkies loaf looks splendid.

Are we all happy now? Can I get back to the Camino?

Thank you.

(Note: I say ‘she’ - quite frankly it could be anyone - even ‘Big bad Norman; 20 years on the run’. See Jake Thackeray’s ‘Sister Josephine’ via google for further details)Read more