The Bus

I made quite a few friends I didn't mention before in El Chalten. Cooped up for a week of bad weather, I befriended the hostel owner, 20 year old Salvador, who made his money smuggling iPhones from the US and selling them in Argentina, then invested in and was running a hostel. He was a mean poker player. I hung out with an endless stream of Australians, a Scot who looked out at the weather each morning, chuckled, and said, "looks like home," and a quiet but friendly Belgian girl, Anne.

The day I left was Salvadors birthday, so I bought cake mix from the supermarket, and a couple of us mixed the cake. Salvador had to cook it in his house in the oven, which was out back.

For dinner we all sat around and had birthday cake. One guy took a bite and said, "this tastes like space cake, Salvador, did you sneak weed in this cake?" Salvador shrugged and winked and we all laughed. I didn't think he was serious.

When I left for the bus, I struggled to put my pack on, which was strange, I've put the thing on like 100 times now. Salvatore laughed at me and asked, "do you know where the bus station is?"

"I've been living in this small town for a week, of course I know where the bus station is." I replied.

I got on the bus early. Twice I was sure the bus had started to back up, but when I looked, it hadn't moved. The Belgian girl, Anne, got on the bus with me. When the ticket taker came by, he told me I had to get off the bus because I hadn't paid the El Chalten bus tax. I bought a round trip ticket from El calafate and didn't know about the extra tax in El Chalten. There were about 5 of us who made the mistake. I got off the bus and ran to the kiosk. I was so worried the bus would leave without me. By the time I got through the line, I was sure the bus had left, the line had taken hours. But when I ran out, the bus was still there and the ticket taker hadn't even finished checking everyone's ticket.

Anne grabbed my arm as I made my way to my seat.

"I am freaking out. What is going on?" she asked me.

"nothing, I forgot to pay the city tax, everything's fine." I told her.

"what are you talking about?? HELEN. THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THAT CAKE." Her grip on my arm tightened and her face was wide and scared.

"are you sure this isn't placebo effect?" I asked as the bus stretched out into a long hallway and Anne's voice dropped low and metallic.

In response, Anne collapsed into the seat next to mine and started crying. "I HATE WEED," she cried loudly. People turned and looked at us. "Why would Salvador do that without telling us?? That's so RUDE."

Ok, so there was weed in the cake. And I was stuck on a 3 hour bus ride with a girl who was obviously going to have a very bad trip.

Anne alternated between quiet crying and fits of giggling with me about raindrops or the color of her sweater or other stupid stuff. Two hours in she found a pound cake on her bag and her whole face lit up with joy.

"these are SO GOOD!! and I have one! Helen do you see it??" she waved it in front of my face. I assured her that I did.

We arrived in El calafate at 11 at night. Knowing we had a late arrival, Anne and I had both booked hostels a couple blocks from the bus station. Anne gripped my arm as we got off the bus and made me promise to walk her all the way to her hostel.

El calafate is pretty safe, but in an unfamiliar city, trying to find a hostel at 11 at night while high as a kite was no easy task. Paranoia set in, and I drew my knife with one hand and my mace with the other. Anne and I crept through the streets like ninjas, carefully checking around every corner for danger.

A taxi driver slowed to see if we needed a ride, which is a reasonable assumption when two girls are walking out of the bus station at 11pm.

"GO AWAY!!" I yelled at the taxi driver, brandishing my knife.

"YEAH GO THE FUCK AWAY CREEP!" Anne yelled from behind me. The taxi driver sped off in a hurry.

I dropped Anne off at her hostel and she begged me to stay there instead of venturing back out alone to find my own hostel. I had already paid for my hostel, so I said goodnight and walked four terrifying blocks to my own hostel. I stopped before I went in to put the knife and the mace away.

It was quite an adventure.Read more