Coffee Tour

We awoke in our cramped, gross hostel room and figured it was time for a shower. However, the condition of the showers was the straw that broke the camels back. Smelling more like a urinal than any shower that I would ever be willing to use, Vic and I began to explore other accommodations to stay at. Even those who upgraded to private rooms had a nightmare. Some had leaky rooves, showers that didn't work, no bathroom, and much more horrid experiences. While Nick and I went for a coffee, the girls organised us a couple of rooms at a new hotel that seemed much nicer. It was 5 USD cheaper and quite literally 10 times better. It was an easy choice. We then had to subtly leave the accommodation to ensure we don't create a shit storm of angry travellers. Vic and I grabbed our things out of the shared dorm while everyone else was out on the morning coffee tours, and Nick and Laura managed to sneak out before gathering at the new hotel.

This then created a distrust in us in the hostel and the grubby owner, Shiba. So, although we were booked in to do the coffee tour in the afternoon, Nick thought he would look to book it without going through the hostel. The same coffee tour that was going to cost us 35 USD cost us just 10 USD if you book directly through Peter, the guy who owns the coffee plantation. He was the most amazing person and treated us like kings, an experience that I can only assume was the result of cutting out the middle man and paying directly to him and his family. Although the tour was only 10 USD, we felt obligated to pay more because the experience was so amazing. Firstly, going through him meant that we could choose whatever time we wanted to start the tour, and given that we were in the rainy mountains of Uganda, it was massively convenient to do this. So we chose to start at 1 pm, when the rain had stopped. He even offered to pick us up from the hospital, as we would not be getting the transfer from the hostel, which they were supposed to organise (although Shiba didn't end up doing so for everyone else anyway). We were expecting a car but eventually a little man in a nice jacket appeared to walk us to his house and coffee plantation. He was lovely, and we thoroughly enjoyed the walk. When we arrived, he introduced his daughter, who spoke much better English and was going to be taking us through most of the tour. This started by showing us the coffee plants that grow the seeds that eventually are processed into coffee. These start off green before ripening to red and are ready for harvest. This is all done manually and is a slightly painstaking process of harvesting all the seeds in a tree and moving to the next. Some ladies may only get through a few trees in a day and repeat the same process on the same trees the next day. She also explained the benefits of incorporating more trees into their plantation and avoiding a monoculture. Banana trees hold water really well, and so the coffee plants can utilise these to extract water for themselves during droughts. Avocado trees provide relief from the harsh sun. Not only this, but they use other plants simply to provide a more stable income stream. So they utilise chilli bushes, rosemary, potatoes, and other herds and spices to sell at markets and provide a more diverse stream of income. Something crucially important in poorer parts of Africa. We then proceeded to the processing section of the coffee bean after it had been harvested. This involves soaking them and separating the empty seeds, identified as those which float, before putting them through a crusher. The crusher strip's away the husk and extracts just the coffee seed. But even still, the coffee seed has a thin shell that needs to be removed to obtain the coffee bean. This is also completed manually by crushing the seed to remove the tougher bean inside. This is quite difficult and needs a lot of force, it is done by placing them in a curved wooden tree trunk and smashing it with a heavy club. It is very hard, as you can see in the video and these poor people do it for hours and hours on end after large harvests. The next step is separation. This uses nothing but a large pan and some skill that Vic. Nick, Laura, and I didn't have. As evidenced in the videos. Finally, though, you have extracted the coffee bean from the plant and the seed, and you can begin to cook the bean. This is simply done over a fire, in a pot with a wooden spoon. The longer it is roasted, the more caffeine is burnt away, but the stronger the aroma and the flavour is. Though I had spent my whole life thinking that dark roast was the stronger coffee type, it turns out it is light roast. From the beans we had processed, she began to cook us up from light, medium, and dark roasts for us to sample. Before we could taste the coffee, we had one last bit of work, and this was the grinding of the beans. Given that it was done manually using a very old machine, this took quite a bit of time and effort. Eventually, one of Peter's sons came to speed up the processes and let us have our coffees. The end result was amazing, the coffee tasted fantastic and it was difficult to pick a favourite. I did pick the light roast eventually and got given a free sample to take home with me. This was normally the end of the tour, but given it had started raining, they invited us into their house and gave us nuts and Bananas. It felt like they didn't want us to leave. It was so cute. They were the most beautiful hosts and made us feel incredibly welcome. Even when it stopped raining and we had to head home, Peter insisted on walking us all the way home despite being a 30-minute walk. Not only this, but he thought it necessary to detour to allow us to try banana wine. It felt authentic when he walked us into a truly Africa mud hut with no power, appliances, or water, and a homemade, wooden bench as a bar. There were even goats and chickens roaming in and out of the little hut that became a bar. It is worth noting that avacaods are so plentiful in this area that they feed the goats about 10 avocaods for each meal. Then, the barman gave us this horrific, muddy liquid in an enourmas cup. When I say it is probably the worst thing I have ever tried, it is not an exaggeration. Had it not been extremely rude, I would have projectile vomited across the whole bar. But I had to stomach it as best I could. It hurt my soul when Peter explained that we have to go around in circles until the cup is completely empty. This meant I had another 3 or 4 drinks to get through. I honestly think it may still be melting away my insides. Finally, though, we finished the cup, and we were free to leave and head back home. I stood in horror when Peter was once again taking us to a bar to try "better" banana wine. I can admit that it was significantly better than the last, but it was still disgusting, to say the least. This time, after a drink, he also paid for 1.5L of the stuff for us to take home. We allowed everyone to try it at dinner, but it also didn't go down well for anyone. Eventually, though, Peter relieved us from his viscous banana wine grasp and dropped us home, and we began chatting to Ivan, our new host, after we left the hostel. He told us he was about to go to the local markets, and so we joined him to get that experience. And what an experience it was. Incredibly muddy, the only white people and chaos unfolding everywhere. But it was great to experience this side of Africa.

This was a great day overall, not what we expected when it started, but it ended up being an incredibly immersing experience. It's truly a highlight of Africa so far. Despite how great today was, we thought it was a good idea to get to bed as early as possible, in our nice comfy private rooms, because tomorrow morning was the Gorilla day.Read more