Castle, Chicken & a beeping Dutch drive

Why is it that car rental companies never seem to have small cars and always upgrade you when you book one? That’s what I was greeted with on arrival in Amsterdam today. Instead of the VW Polo I’d booked, I was given a Nissan X-Trail. For those who are as car-savvy as I am (aka I mostly identify cars by colour), that’s a jump from a small hatchback to a full-sized SUV. Navigating narrow roads in this tank is going to be an adventure, I think, already a little anxious.

After the awkward moment of getting in on the passenger side and wondering where the steering wheel had gone, I plugged in my first stop into CarPlay and set off. Golly gosh this car beeps a lot! Too fast, not in the lane enough, speed limit change—this car is getting sassy and definitely not helping me adjust to driving a beast on the “wrong” side of the road. Still, I manage to navigate the freeway—complete with constantly changing speed limits to give the car more reasons to beep—and the narrow lanes, until I arrive at Castle De Haar, my first stop.

Designed as a showpiece to entertain the rich and famous in the 14th century, Castle De Haar was later restored by architect Pierre Cuypers for the wealthy Van Zuylen family. It still packs an impressive punch today. I got excited thinking the old stables and staff quarters were the castle itself—nope! The actual castle is tucked behind a line of trees, surrounded by lush gardens. And what a castle it is.

Like all good castles, it’s surrounded by a moat and has a proper drawbridge. You know you’ve made it when you can just pull up your drawbridge to keep door-to-door salesmen out. My ticket is for 3 p.m., but it’s quiet enough that they let me in early. If I thought the outside was impressive, the interior completely blew me away. The multi-story main hall makes a powerful first impression—and that’s clearly the point. “You’re in my house and I’m richer than you” seems to be the intended vibe. Stained glass, intricate woodwork, sculptures on every pillar, a vaulted ceiling, and tapestries bigger than my apartment all add to the drama.

Room after room keeps the wow factor going. I honestly feel like I could grab my case from the car and move right in. Max and Louis would love the grounds. I read that the original family sold the castle to a Dutch heritage trust in 2000, but with one condition—they retain the right to occupy it every September. That’s some deal. A permanent September house party for every future Van Zuylen descendant? Not bad.

Tempting as it is to move in, I suspect the volunteer guides in every room might notice me unpacking. Somewhat refreshed by this very extra castle visit, I wander the gardens, stop to smell the roses, and then head to the old stables—which now house a restaurant—for lunch.

I make it just in time, with five minutes to spare before lunch service ends. I order a chicken sandwich and moments later, a real live chicken walks up to my table, pecking around for a snack. I like my chicken fresh, but that’s a bit too literal. I wait patiently for the kind Dutch waiter to deliver my actual meal. It feels a little strange to eat chicken while being watched by one, but it’s delicious.

Satisfied and just slightly weirded out, I consider marrying into the Van Zuylen family so I can stay here every September. If anyone has connections, please let me know. Feeling a little less anxious about driving the SUV now, I set off for Tilburg to grab some supplies before catching up with the Vans family this afternoon.

The narrow, tree-lined roads edged with canals and flanked by green fields soon give way to the freeways. It’s only about 80 km but takes nearly 90 minutes thanks to traffic and those constantly changing overhead speed signs. My car is still beeping like mad, especially as I hug the right shoulder and the lane assist freaks out. By the end of the day, I’m more aware of where this thing begins and ends, but I haven’t figured out how to turn off the alerts yet.

Grocery shopping is annoying at home, but overseas it’s kind of an adventure. I lose track of time exploring the aisles of the local Lidl, laughing at “Slagroom” (Dutch for cream) and definitely buying more than I need. Including spending nearly $20 AUD on a pack of M&M’s. I was asked to bring red wine, and since I don’t drink, I just grab the most expensive bottle I can find—€6!

The drive from Tilburg to Vessem—where I’ll be joining the vans—is lovely. The roads are narrower, often lined with trees, and surrounded by farmland. For such a small country, the Netherlands is the most efficient agricultural producer in Europe. Here are some nerdy stats I looked up after driving through all that farmland: it’s the second-largest exporter of agricultural products in the world, just behind the US, despite having less than 0.5% of the land mass. Every inch of land seems to be used for something, yet there are still pockets of forest everywhere. It’s so green and beautiful, even if it’s flat as a pancake!

I follow Google Maps and arrive at the house the vans have rented. It’s in an adorable little cluster of homes a few kilometres outside Vessem. Behind the house is a patch of forest, and farms stretch out in every other direction. After being solo for a while, it’ll be nice to have some company again. I spend the evening with family, play a few games of Uno with Robbie (even winning two in a row), and settle in for a warm night—ready to explore the area and meet distant relatives over the coming days.Leggi altro