A Dutch Welcome for “Child of Maria”

My first night in Vessem wasn’t the best sleep I’ve ever had, but also not the worst. I don’t get European homes’ aversion to fly screens and air conditioning. I get that A/C is only really needed for a few weeks a year, but without it, you have to keep the windows open—and that means mosquitoes. Every time I was about to fall asleep, one would buzz past my face, then vanish the second I tried to find it. Little pricks.

I slept downstairs on the couch for a bit to escape the heat and snoring. Waking up stuck to the leather in the middle of the night, I retreated back upstairs for a more comfortable sleep in bed. When morning came, it was time to get organised for a laundry day. The Vans had also been travelling for a while, so everyone needed clean clothes. Peter, Rob and I headed off in search of a roadside laundromat vending machine in the next town over.

These roadside vending machine-style laundromats are actually pretty cool and convenient. Set in the car park of a local industrial area, we loaded up the machines, started our cycles, and then went in search of coffee. Pete directed us to “coffee” on Google Maps. Alas, it turned out to be a coffee distributor rather than a café. No drama—the Dutch hospitality is warm, and the lady there made Peter and Rob a coffee on the house, complete with a biscuit for me.

Back at the roadside laundromat, we ponder the cost of setting one of these up while messing around in the photo booth that comes with it. It’s free to use as long as you don’t actually print the photo, so we all get a “most wanted” shot. I’m not sure who’s paying €4 a pop for printed pics, but it’s a bit of fun and passes the time while the washing mostly dries.

With the washing mission complete, it was time for a nap back at the house before the afternoon’s activities. I needed this nap to be able to tackle the rest of the day. I popped upstairs, put on some calm background EMDR music, and had a solid 1.5-hour sleep. Even after a few restful days in Pula, I’m still pushing my limits—but I felt more up for life after the nap.

A little family history time now. My mother was born in the Netherlands before migrating with her four brothers when she was about four years old. They’d later be joined by an Australian-born brother, Peter, soon after the family arrived in Australia. I guess Oma knew how to pass the time on the long sea voyage 😉. So Peter is my uncle, and I’ve gatecrashed (aka was invited to) part of their family holiday to meet relatives in the Netherlands. I’ve never visited family here before, and other than one Facebook friend in Ans, I didn’t know any of them—until today.

Turns out it’s Paul’s 70th birthday party today, and we’re all going to celebrate and meet the extended family. He delayed having the party until Peter and family were here to share it with him. I feel both special to be invited and also a little anxious as large group social settings are not really my vibe. It’s weird that large group social stuff makes me anxious given every family event in my childhood was always massive. Turns out those large family gatherings are not just an Aussie thing - the Dutch side do them too!

Paul and Ans (a different Ans to my Facebook friend Ans) house is beautiful. It has an earth roof, covered in vines and a beautiful large garden that large south facing windows of the home look out onto. We head out to the garden where the local family are already there. I meet Paul and Ans, and Facebook Ans and everyone else. Many of the women here, plus Paul are my mums cousins on my Opa’s side.

Even though I was an only child, I grew up with many cousins—most of them more like siblings than cousins to me. It was lovely to see Peter experience that connection with his own cousins—something he missed out on growing up on the other side of the world. I wish I were better at small talk and mingling, but I think (hope) I managed to internalise my social anxiety enough today. Everyone was so lovely, friendly, and welcoming to me—“the child of Maria”—someone they’d never met but embraced like family.

The food for dinner was delicious and in massive supply! From starters to mains to dessert, Paul and Ans looked after everyone beautifully while we chatted in the garden. Some personalities and mannerisms really do seem to be genetically linked! Dutch hospitality—and their party rules—are something we should take home with us. Parties have a start and end time, and when it ends, everyone’s expected to leave. My overly planned and anxious mind loves this so much.

With the party over, I reflect on how welcoming everyone was to us. Pete and Jude have visited before, but for me, this was a first—and I felt like, well, family. I drive us back to Vessem, about 30 minutes away—a distance the local family consider a long journey. It’s still light at 9pm, so I turn on the sauna to warm up before heading out for a local walk to close my exercise rings and enjoy some solo time.

I do a short 2km walk, draft a post, and wait for the sauna to heat up. But after 1.5 hours, it’s still only at 40 degrees, so I turn it off and crash into bed again. It’s cooler tonight, and with the window and skylight open for a slight breeze, I settle in—reflecting on meeting a part of the family I’d only ever heard about, but had never met until today.Читать далее