Efteling: Embracing my Childish Giggles

I love a theme park, and I’ve known about this one since I was a kid. My cousins, Ben and Emma, went there years ago on a family trip while I was still growing up. I vividly remember how enthusiastic they were when they got back, especially their comparisons to Disneyland. “Disneyland is all concrete, crowded and nothing natural. Efteling was so green, not crowded, and so fun.” I’m paraphrasing, but those were the key ideas that stuck with me all these years. Funny how memory works — or frustrating if you’re someone like me who forgets why I walked into the kitchen but remembers every awkward conversation from 1998.

So when Peter asked if I wanted to join them for a day at Efteling, it was a no-brainer: yes! Our convoy of two cars set off, missing one turn and taking a scenic detour along country lanes. As we arrived, I immediately saw what Ben and Emma meant. The car park is big, but not an endless slab of concrete like Disneyland. And while the entrance isn’t quite as iconic as the Magic Kingdom, it has this enchanted forest vibe with wood and whimsical curved roofs that look like witches’ hats. Welcome to Efteling.

We got in early — the gates were open, but the rides hadn’t started yet. Wandering around without much of a plan, we joined the queue for Symbolica. It’s a gentle indoor ride suitable for all ages, though Jude needed some convincing. I think she suspected we were tricking her into something scary. But the smile I caught mid-ride told me we chose right. Next up was the steam carousel, where I discovered the horses weren’t exactly designed for fully grown adults. My feet couldn’t fit inside the stirrups, but we spun around happily as the steam engine did its thing. A perfect length ride — just enough fun without the dizziness. Rob pointed out the bar nearby where parents could sit and sip a beer while watching their kids spin around. The Dutch think of everything.

The cafés didn’t open until 11, so we hopped on the monorail next. It’s a cute two-person ride above a fairytale village. Robbie wanted to ride with me, and thanks to our weight imbalance, the snail-shaped cart tilted slightly to my side. As we cruised above the park, Robbie pointed out everything he was planning to do next — “I’m going on that next” became his catchphrase. So funny. Afterward, the kids tackled some slides. I followed and found the entries very much child-sized, but managed to squeeze through without bumping my head. Being a kid again is fun. At 11, Pete and Jude were craving coffee, so we all headed to the Poffertjes café. Banana and Nutella mini pancakes for me — delicious.

After morning tea — once everyone had peed and a last-minute kids’ poop was taken care of — we split into two groups. Emma, Rob, Robbie and I headed off to Vogel Rok, an indoor rollercoaster completely in the dark. Robbie’s first* rollercoaster! Queue times here seem to be overestimated — it said 40 minutes, but we were on in 25 or 30. Robbie rode with me, although you’d never know from the ride photo. He leaned forward the whole time, so only his white-knuckled hands made it into the picture. The ride was full of twists, climbs, drops and mystery — both thrilling and a bit nausea-inducing. When asked how it was, Robbie said he liked it but would never go on another rollercoaster again. I felt the same and needed a breather before our next stomach-churner.

We meet back up for the show — Raveleijn. It’s set in a cool, medieval-style arena designed for a live-action performance. I honestly didn’t follow the whole plot, but here’s the gist based on what I read afterward: five riders are summoned to the magical city of Raveleijn by Halina and trained to defend it. When Count Olaf shows up with his five-headed monster, the Draconicon, the riders unite to save the city. Each rider is decked out in a different colour with their own powers — kind of like Captain Planet: earth, wind, fire, water, heart. Then ninjas descend from above the crowd and chaos unfolds. Spoiler alert: the good guys win, after an epic drowning of the final surviving ninja. Throw in impressive horseback stunts, ravens flying around, pyrotechnics and a giant animatronic monster — it’s a great show.

By now it’s lunchtime, and my stomach is about two minutes away from turning my brain into full hangry mode. The younger crew (everyone Ben’s age and under) go off for a ride while us older folks head for food. I demolish a massive plate of chicken skewers and chips, followed by a stash of lollies that take a few days to get through. Fully fuelled, we split up again — the grandparents take the kids, and the “young adults” (yes, I’m using that term for myself in my 40s — writer’s licence!) head off to try a thrill ride: Vliegende Hollander (or The Flying Dutchman in English).

The queue for this one is the slowest-moving of the day. Probably because we’re surrounded by teenagers who are — pardon my French — fucking annoying. Two of them barge past everyone else, setting off a couple of arguments but continuing on like nothing happened. Then there’s a group of girls with a couple of geeky boys in tow. We’re all quietly convinced the girls are going to eat those poor lads alive. The boys think they’re in with a chance, blissfully unaware that the girls are eyeing off some jocky-looking guys further down the line.

As we move inside, the lack of deodorant among the teen boys hits like a wall. God, I hope I didn’t smell like this at their age. Eventually, we board our little boat and head off on this water coaster ride. It’s short, but packed with thrills — ups, downs, creepy effects, fog-filled tunnels and sharp turns. I think Ben, Emma, and Rob were more entertained by my nonstop hysterical giggle than the ride itself. By the time we splash down into the lake at the end, I’m laughing so hard I’m borderline hyperventilating. Total blast.

We regroup to take the kids on the river rapids ride – Piraña. Pete and Jude sit this one out while we navigate the queue — thankfully free of annoying teens this time. Good thing too, since each raft only seats six, and we fill it exactly. The river tosses and splashes us around a fair bit. Somehow, we miraculously avoid the big waterfall that drenches the boat in front of us. They get absolutely soaked. To make it worse, we nudge them just enough to send them back into the firing line of another water jet. We all get wet — some more than others — before finishing the ride and reuniting with Pete and Jude to explore the woods.

I get the sense that visiting the woods is quite sentimental for Jude. She’d been here before with Ben and Emma when they were kids, and now it was time to recreate that memory with the grandkids in tow. It’s a pretty cute setup, with many classic nursery rhyme and fairytale stories depicted. Hansel and Gretel and the like are all brought to life in little displays — some of which the kids can explore on their own, with signs declaring them “parent-free zones.” I’m not a parent, though, so I got to sneak into a few of them too. It’s very green here — trees, gardens, and little hidden attractions nestled between the woods. I imagine this is the part of the park Ben and Emma were thinking of when they came home saying, “It’s so green, with heaps of trees and shade.”

While wandering through the woods, everyone seemed to need toilet breaks — all at different times — so we split up for a while. We eventually regrouped at a shitting donkey. You pay 50 euro cents (cash or just tap your card), and the statue makes some noises, lifts its tail, and drops a pile of gold coins. Weirdly entertaining. Sometimes it took the money but didn’t drop any coins, resulting in a double load for the next person — even funnier.

The park was winding down by the time we left the woods, and we made our way to the closing water show near the main gate. It’s a 15-minute spectacle of fountains shooting water high into the air in sync with a dramatic soundtrack. A breeze drifts over us every now and then, giving a light, refreshing mist — very welcome in the evening sun. It’s a gentle, mindful way to finish the day. We do a quick stroll through the gift shop before easily finding the car and joining the queue of traffic heading home.

Peter took the wheel for the drive home, with Google Maps on CarPlay providing directions — along with additional advice from Jude and Ben in the backseat. Near our dinner stop in the cute little town of Middlebeers, I threw in a bit of backseat driving too — didn’t want to miss out. Kudos to Peter for safely getting us home and staying sane in a car full of co-pilots. We ate at the only restaurant in town open after 8pm, and it was absolutely delicious. I had the asparagus frittata — so good! We toasted the night with a round of limoncello and headed home, the summer breeze making for a much more comfortable night’s sleep.

While I didn’t have the emotional or nostalgic connection to Efteling that the others clearly did, I still had a fantastic day out. It felt like we barely scratched the surface of what the park has to offer. You’d probably need a well-planned 1.5 to 2 days to see and do everything properly. I liked that the park is loosely divided into zones for different age groups — some for little kids, some for older ones, and a good chunk for teens and thrill-seekers. There’s something for everyone. I’m really grateful I got to tag along with the family — sharing those silly moments of giggling on the rides wouldn’t have been half as fun on my own.Weiterlesen