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  • Day 97

    Rosemary experience

    April 10, 2018 in Brazil ⋅ ⛅ 22 °C

    Yesterday was one of the most inspiring, challenging and fun days I have had in forever. I joined in for 'Rosemary experience" which is a full day program for people to get a taste of what rosemary is all about. They are an empowerment centre and they use three steps in their programs: the monk, the monkey and the modern human. The monk is about connecting with yourself and loving yourself, and also connecting and loving others. Meditation and yoga is some of the tools they use for this. The monk is being more connected to your inner child and primal behaviour. Moving around, letting your body do what it wants to do. The modern human is the acknowledge of us being part of an modern world, and giving us tools to be true to yourself and happy within the society you live in.

    Read more about Rosemary dream here: www.rosemarydream.com

    My day startet early, I joined my first yoga session ever at 07.30 on this platform they have here overlooking the town and the ocean, amazing view. I found the yoga very difficult, as my muscles and flexibility was not ready for this. But I tried my best, and found that I really enjoyed it. It was a very peaceful way of exercising, and I will definitely try it again.

    After yoga I had the best breakfast in my life. They focus on the whole body here, and nutrition is a big part of how your body and mind is feeling. After three months of eating white bread with dulce de leche this was like coming to heaven.

    Every morning after breakfast they have a "sunrise" session. This morning it was Oscar that took us through meditation with focus on your inner-child. We were thinking about childhood memories and how they made us feel. In the end we wrote a letter to our inner-child and told her (myself) what I am grateful for. It was an interesting session that brought up some warm and happy memories and thoughts.

    Our "Rosemary experience" started at 12. We were a group of 9 dreamers (guests) and two doers (workers at Rosemary). We started with an introduction round and everybody told a bit about why they were here and what they wanted to get out of this day and their stay here. For me it is about getting better at appreciate and live in the moment, and not stress and plan to much for the future. Not always wanting something more and different, and being restless. To be able to connect more with myself and find some ways of slowing down when it get to much stress and find an inner peace.

    We did an session of meditation, and it was actually my first "real" meditation. It was focusing on giving positive feedback to yourself and to others. Love, strength and peace. Sometimes I found it hard to focus, bus I also found it very interesting and peaceful.

    We finished up before lunch with an estatic dance. This is something that is really challenging my boundaries. It is freedancing to music, letting your body move as it wants to music. Britta was leading the session, telling us to close our eyes and then taking us step by step through moving our body. Starting with the feet, the knees, the hips, and so on. It made it easier, to just focus on the parts she was telling us to do. In the end we were dancing with the whole body, moving around to the music. In the start I felt very uncomfortable with it. Dancing without alcohol is something I don't do at all, and I feel really stupid. After a while I started enjoying it so much, and just went with it. I catched myself standing on a roof smiling and moving around like an idiot - and loving it! It was such a powerful feeling to be able to step so far out of my comfort zone. But I decided before going here that I am going to be open minded and say yes and join every activity there is - and go through with it even though it is super awkward. I think this is a great way to get to know yourself better, and for selfgrowtht.

    We had delicious lunch, and then went for a hike to a lighthouse. We did some monkey-streches before the hike, and Eva talked to us about the nature and how we can be more connected to it. She encouraged us to touch and feel different things in the nature while hiking. We hiked in silence to get more impressions from the nature. The view from the lighthouse was beautiful.

    We had a connection workshop at the top, paring up two and two and changing the group sometimes. The first practice was about connecting with someone only through physical contact, and no speaking. It was a very weird and new experience for me. Usually physical contact is something I share with friends or some family members, or it is connected to sexual contact. Our personal space boundary in Norway is quite big. To be in physical contact with strangers like this was in the beginning intimidating and uncomfortable. We started with just looking into eachothers eyes for four minutes. Then we touched eachothers arms and hands while doing the eyegazing, also having our knees touching eachothers while doing this. After a while it got less intimidating, and more comfortable. We were told to send eachother the same wishes as we did in the meditation this morning. Wish the other person peace, strange and send our love. With time I felt more comfortable, safe and even cared for with just looking into someone's eyes for that amount of time.

    After this we did some active listening exercises. Asking eachother questions and listening. The questions made us reflect upon different things in our life, and it was nice. I feel more aware of what I like and don't like in my life, and what I need to do to feel more true to myself. We finished up with a meditation focusing on connecting with the nature.

    We walked down to the beach and was told to pick an object from the nature to bring with us. Something to sticks out to you, or you feel connected to. I picked a red flower that stuck out in the green forest. For me it represented the courage to be your self and follow your dreams, even though if it is following a path that is different from what is expected from you. At the beach Eva told us to make a castle in honour of ourselves, using the objects we picked. I made a sand heart with the inscription "2018" and my red flower. 2018 was the year I had the courage to do what i have been dreaming about, going out to the world alone. I guess that deserves a castle at the beach!

    We all went in to the water and played around. We had some group activities, splashing around like children. It was so much fun! I sometimes forget how much fun you can have when just letting go off your boundaries, and act like an child! I need to do more of this in my life, it is very liberating.

    We went back to the hostel and had an value session. We were reflecting upon our values and why they are important to us. In the end we had to choose some values that is the most important (core values) for us. At this point my head was so full from the day with so much activities, impressions and reflection. Still, this value session was not too hard for me, as values is something I have to reflect upon a lot in my work. I ended up with this list of what is most important to me:

    - Humanity (we all have the same value as an human being. Treat eachother with respect and love.
    - Empathy
    - Connection (friends, family, love, co-workers, loyalty, honesty, openness)
    - Authentic/Integrity (be true to yourself. Know, respect and love yourself. Freedom to be independent. Learn, evolve, explore. Self growth.)

    We had an great "family dinner" with healthy and good food. It started with one of the founders wishing everyone welcome, talking a bit about what had been going on this day, inviting us to share about the rosemary experience. I did some sharing, standing up at the table! At least talking in front of a crowd is not a problem for me, and I was happy to share.

    After dinner Britta had a connection session. This is by far the weirdest and most out of my comfort zone thing I have ever done. We were all holding hands, standing in two lines facing eachother. First we did the eyegazing again with strangers, and after some minutes you would step to the left and do the same with a new stranger. This time it felt even more uncomfortable than earlier today, bescuse it was all new people that I did not know at all. But with some deep breaths I somehow managed to calm down and be in the moment and just focus on the person in front of me. After doing this four or five times, we connected with the one in front of us by holding their hands. And wait for it - ended it all with eststic dance holding hands with the other person. This part is the strangest thing I have done. But actually I didn't find it uncomfortable at all. We hold hands, our eyes closed, and just moved together to the music. Our bodies synchronising. It was fun, and nice and caring. Ending up in big hugs and so much love!

    After this I had to go to bed. It was a very long and exhausting day, but in a good way. I felt quite overwhelmed. One day felt like a week because of so much different and meaningful activities. I did more soul-searching and boundary pushing in one day than I have done in years. I felt so happy and grateful for everything I experienced this day. I felt proud for challenging my boundries, being open, curious, sharing and being true to myself.

    In the end it is only yourself that can make you happy and decide how to spend your life. It is so important to know, respect and love yourself. We are all good enough, but we grow up in societies that sometimes makes it hard for us to feel this self acceptance and love. I know I have some work to do with being more present here and now, and be more satisfied not always wanting more. This is a good place to work on this, I will definitely stay a while to explore new sides of myself in this beautiful environment.
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