Cacabelos

It’s been a strange few days. I’m heading into Galatia, and the mountains are beautiful! But the hiking has been arduous primarily the very steep, very rocky downhills.

Two days ago, I passed an iconic Camino landmark - the Cruz de Ferro. It is an enormous cross where pilgrims lay down a rock to signify the letting go of whatever burdens they have carried that no longer serve them, and perhaps even hold them back or keep them from living their best lives. I was surprised at how emotional this experience was. Like many humans (I think), I have held onto fear and shame. I have carried a sense of unworthiness that has prevented me from valuing myself enough to simply be authentic. I have believed the voices in my head (and sometimes the voices of others) that have told me that I am actually not ok. As I consciously stood at this cross and made the decision (at least cognitively) to put those voices, the shame and the fear, down - I was overcome with emotion. But, almost every pilgrim standing at the cross was weeping - each doing the hard work of attempting to let go……

SO - that was a tough day. And I also lost a few friends that day - one had gotten Covid and finally made the call to go home, and others either slowed down or sped up. But I did make new friends in my albergue last night - where, I am happy to report, I was in a bright, clean, all female room! I walked with Celeste today, which was lovely, but she continued on past the little village where I’ll stay tonight. So, this evening I’m alone. I even have my own room!!!!

The one thing nobody tells you about is the level and extent of “FOMO” you experience on the Camino. I truly never even considered this (I am 66 years old for Gods sake). But it’s a constant balancing of, “oh - that sounds so fun - I should join them” with “my feet hurt so much - I should stop.” It’s non-stop loss, reuniting, more loss, acceptance…….. I guess like a condensed version of life.Read more