Exploring Penang (George Town)

First day in a while on which I didn’t have to get up early!

I even had time to catch up on some Outlander while munching away on the complimentary breakfast.

The lady behind the counter inquired after my sleep quality. Due to the bass practically slapping me left and right until I was dizzy and disoriented enough to sleep, I said there was no quality to the aforementioned sleep.

She replied with “But it’s a social hostel.” I countered with “But how is that a reason to rob people of their sleep?” Then she said “But it stopped early!” And then I said “It stopped after midnight.” And she insisted: “Yes, exactly. It stopped then.”

She was nice and understanding about it eventually, and it’s the hostel’s style, of course. But there won’t be a universe in which I’ll be fine with inconsideracy - especially when my sleep is sacrificed by a higher power that is a party hostel devoting their everything to, well, party. It just creams my corn.

Anyway. I strolled through the streets of Penang leisurely and discovered - well - a chocolate shop. And a very helpful shop assistant who excitedly shoved chocolate into my hands for tasting. I was forced to eat it. Would have been oh so rude not to.
I was particularly fond of the dark chocolate with jasmine. Because, get this - I like dark chocolate now. What has the world come to?

I enjoyed my little time off, exploring by myself. Good times.

Then I joined another free tour with Anna and Sally. The guide was enthusiastic and even procured a free tea from a nearby shop - served in bags, of all things - and two samosas from a Michelin-recognised street food stall.

There was also an unexpected element to the tour.

We went to a Taoist temple and shook sticks. Let me explain.

As far as I understand, this is something you do when you need guidance - when you have a question and need an answer. The practice is called Kau Cim, and the process goes like this:

You grab a bundle of incense sticks and ignite them until every single one is emitting smoke. Mine caught fire. Oops.

Then you place 3 sticks at a time into a large ash-filled censer - a temple urn - and let them smoke away. Clear case of peer pressure.

Then you enter the temple and pick up a cylindrical box filled with flat wooden sticks bearing classical Chinese characters. You hold the box away from you at a 45-degree angle while kneeling on a padded prayer bench - angled, surprisingly comfortable, vaguely sofa-like. The goal is to shake the box at that angle until one stick protrudes unmistakably above the rest. While shaking, you focus on a question - something that could do with some guidance. You take that stick and throw two small divination blocks - traditionally made from bamboo, shaped like halves of a bean - onto the floor in front of you. One side up, one side down means keep the stick. Any other combination means put it back and shake again.

In my case, the blocks favoured my stick of choice - my lucky stick - and I was permitted to proceed.

Our guide matched the characters on my stick to a booklet of all possible results. The booklet then directed us to scan a QR code - who knew Taoists were so modern? - which produced a PDF: something between a horoscope and a direct answer to your question. And on top of that, there was a small illustrated house symbol on the stick that had to be matched to a corresponding panel on a wall of similar house symbols, each with additional inscriptions providing a more specific reading.

Written out like that, I appreciate it sounds like an elaborate sequence of pomp and circumstantial hokum. Who came up with all the extra steps? It’s like an escape room designed by life coaches charging by the hour. Actually - that might be a lucrative market niche.

And yet. Puzzling as the process was - and I didn’t really think of a question and mostly stared at the guide in confusion at each new step - it was kinda fun and genuinely engaging. Oh dear. That’s how they get you.

In the evening I was racing to the shower and was watched from the ceiling by not one (like yesterday) but two pervy geckos.

I spontaneously joined the hostel quiz night - our team, Sally, Anna, Kate (a Russian addition) and I, were crowned second place.

Once the quiz finished and the bass-inflated thumping commenced, I made myself scarce.

Oh - almost forgot to mention a very fun and engaging activity I also partook in today. I spent 4 hours on the phone with 3 different airline customer services regarding my booking for the following day. Online check-in was simply not possible, and for whatever reason, my date of birth had been set to 31.12.9999.

Successfully locating the customer support line each time should have earned me a bachelor’s degree. Navigating a robot that was roughly as helpful as the human staff I eventually reached - one of whom ghosted me mid-conversation, which was rude - while remaining completely calm and patient. Oh, hang on. I really didn’t. Well, oops again.

I’m happy to say that - ha. You thought I was going to say the problem was solved, didn’t you? Nah. It wasn’t. So. I might fly somewhere tomorrow. Or I might not. I’ll find out live at the airport. Good times! 😄Read more