Miami

Oh honey, the saga continues! 🌴✈️ #BaggageChronicles

o, we finally got on the plane from Sweden to Frankfurt, and let me tell you, it was blissfully uneventful. No drama, no aluminum shenanigans, just two jet-lagged zombies passing out and waking up like discount Sleeping Beauties. 🤣 The flight attendants probably thought we were hungover, but nope, just pure exhaustion. #GlamorousLife #BeautySleepFailed

But THEN, we landed in Miami. And that’s when the real nightmare began. Picture this: me, staring down the mountain of our 130 kilos of “house parts” and realizing I might have to cuddle with aluminum beams in a hotel bed. 😱 My brain was spiraling, imagining the cabbie’s face when we’d show up with these packages, or worse, me trying to fit it all into a single elevator. BUT HOLD UP—guess who came to the rescue? My beloved ex, who apparently moonlights as a bribery wizard. 🤫💰 With some smooth-talking (and probably a little green persuasion), he got someone to whisk away our stuff to a storage center. Not only that, but it was conveniently RIGHT across from Bahamas Air, where we’d be tomorrow. Bless his sneaky, charming little heart. #ProblemSolver #AluminumWhisperer

With that weight off our shoulders (literally), we finally got to enjoy Miami! First stop: the hotel. After a shower that felt like being reborn, we dolled ourselves up, ready to take on the night. My hair? Fabulous. My ex? Still looking suspiciously cool, as if he hadn’t just orchestrated an aluminum heist earlier. 😂

We celebrated with a fancy drink that looked like a million bucks but tasted like $1.50 juice from the dollar store. It didn’t even matter; we were in Miami, baby! 🍹✨ #ExpensiveAndGross

Then, the real temptation struck—I stumbled into the coolest clothing store and almost set my wallet on fire. I swear, everything was screaming my name. Of course, I had to make a stop at Steve Madden because SHOES ARE LIFE. 👠❤️ My beloved ex had to literally drag me out of there before I emptied my bank account. “Jessica,” he said, “we haven’t even reached the Bahamas yet.” Okay, fair, but like… shoes. #Shopaholic #Priorities

Oh, and did I mention we went skinny dipping? 🌊✨ Yeah, it was cold as hell, and my ex almost lost a toe. Who knew ocean water could feel like the Arctic? I ended up playing Nurse Jessica, wrapping him up in towels and trying not to laugh too hard at his over-the-top dramatics. #Heroic #ICouldBeADoctor

And now, today’s the big day—we’re finally flying to the Bahamas! 🙌 Please, universe, I am BEGGING you: no more arguing with the airline about baggage. We’ve paid our dues. Let us board in peace and carry on with our tropical adventure. 🏝️🙏

Stay tuned—because if this trip has taught me anything, it’s that there’s always a plot twist around the corner. 😉 #BahamasBoundLäs mer