Bratislava: Konditorei Kormuth

What is a konditorei? Wikipedia says that it is “a business that typically offers a wide variety of pastries and typically also serves as a café.”

In the case of Kormuth, it is a konditorei that blends Renaissance-style frescoes with pastries, coffees, and more. The website describes the place as a confectionary that “… brings you experiential gastronomy by combining exceptional flavors and elegance with an impressive interior that will captivate you with its magical atmosphere. …” It certainly delivered on those words.

I’m not sure if Kormuth is indeed in a 400-year-old building as I read on one website. But the place has apparently been the hangout for artists, writers, and locals, and has been around long enough to witness the changes wrought by changing political climes.

But … on to my story.

When Silvia, our guide, stopped in front of what looked like an unassuming building near Hlavne Namestie, the main square in Old Town, it was just for a minute or two. But that was enough time for me to glimpse an amazing interior. Walls and ceilings covered with frescoes. puppet-chefs baking and decorating cakes in one window. A mannequin wearing a Renaissance-style gown in another window.

My “shutter finger” started twitching. I needed to get inside. It wasn’t quite 10:00a, however, and though there were people scurrying about inside, the door was locked. So, Mui and I — and as it turns out, several of our shipmates — decided to return after our tour ended.

When we arrived back at Kormuth around 10:15a, the door was still closed. As we approached, the door opened, one of the two couples waiting outside entered, and the door closed. Turns out that the entry — lined with tables on one side and a display case filled with cakes and cookies on the other side — is quite narrow. So patrons form a queue outside and are seated one party at a time. After seeing the interior, I think they also do this because the place would otherwise be overrun by people walking in from the street just to take photos and selfies.

Anyway, we got in line behind the couple perusing the menu. Almost immediately a long line had formed behind us. Because it was early, our wait wasn’t a long one … just a few minutes.

When we were welcomed inside, we were escorted to a room just off the entry and given a menu to peruse. But I could not focus on the words. My eyes kept traveling around the room, darting from one colorful fresco to another, taking in the antique furnishings, and smiling at the mismatched porcelain place settings on neighboring tables. Our waiter smiled … used to this reaction. Eventually, we gave him our order.

Service was prompt and soon we were digging into our sweet treats and sipping our hot beverages. Mui was so pleased with his coffee that he ordered seconds. My Valrhona hot chocolate was incredible … rich and thick … nearly the consistency of melted chocolate … and served with a chaser of fresh whipped cream that I spooned in to my heart’s delight. OMG … it was fantastic, but one cup was enough.

All the while, we ruminated over the waiter’s cryptic comment when he delivered our order … “don’t miss the toilets!”

We dawdled over our sweet treats, took photos, and eventually I went downstairs to see what was so special about the toilets! Well, there was more than the toilets to check out … stained glass windows, a staircase decorated with murals, a dungeon-like private room complete with a “man in a not-so-shiny armor.” All eminently photographable.

And then I came to the ladies room. Let me just say that I’m not in the habit of photographing commodes and such, but these I could not resist. I even sent Mui down to the men’s room later to take a photo or two of the urinals.

But enough words. I’ll just let the photos tell the story of what charmed us at Konditorei Kormuth. And yes, the cakes were indeed as good as we were told they would be.Read more