New York City #1

After a 5,249 kilometres road trip across the United States we finally reached New York City.
Everybody should drive a 41/2 ton RV into this city once in their life, you’ll never forget the experience, but whether you would ever want to do it again is another question.
Most of the roads are narrow and congested and we were hoping the continuous bumps we ran over were caused by the potholes and not some Wall Street trader whose hedge fund took such a dive they decided to throw themselves under our wheels to end it all.

It’s not that we have much sympathy for hedge fund traders it just that it could be a ploy to get themselves out of the ruined position they’re currently in because along all the highways are huge billboards advertising lawyers like “Backslap & Ticklewallet” promoting their legal services and the billions of dollars compensation that they’ve won for clients who have been injured in accidents.

In other words they sue the pants off you over here if you do as much as spit chewing gum on the pavement and someone stubs their big toe because of it.
Seeing this state has screwed every cent out of us in every way it can we don’t want them to finish us off completely, though they are doing a pretty good job of it at the moment so as a precaution we are trying to avoid hitting anything warm that may be lying on the road from Wall Street traders to homeless Hobos.

Getting here we’ve been stung badly by toll roads so we set the SatNav to exclude them, then we set the SatNav to include them. They’re clever bastards here, they have covered every possible rat run you could use to avoid paying a toll which meant the alternative sent us so giddy and used up so much time and fuel that we drove back with our tails between our legs and begged them, at any cost to please let us use the toll roads.

Our only bit of revenge was, if you are unfamiliar with the cash machines that take the toll they take a bit of working out. You shove notes in, they give change, you have to press all sorts of buttons, the amount is displayed in different place and on it goes.
When we reach the end of the first toll road (which is the beginning of the next) we find a clear cash lane to drive through.
While I’m trying to work it out a car pulls up behind us and Rhonda says “who would be stupid enough to pull into a lane behind a tourist”
While I’m trying to shove notes in another car pulls into our lane. While I’m trying to push the right buttons more cars pull in. While I’m trying to find my change, more cars pull in. While I push the help button even more cars bank up behind us.
After that I have no idea what was happening the line extended back too far for me to see, besides all I was worried about was getting my change back from this highway robbery.Read more