India & Southeast Asia

Coonoor is wedged into the sides of the Nilgiris mountain region. A 5 km car ride takes around 25 minutes or more, depending on if you end up stuck behind a lumbering tea truck. I took a bike out today and rode the side of a mountain only to be harassed by a band of outlaw Nilgiris monkeys wanting my Oreos. I call the outlaws because they were not pleasant. They may very well have been in-laws, although that traditionally wouldn't change much about their pleasantness. Regardless, there was no chance I was giving those Oreos up. I kicked my bike into 6th gear and, like the daredevil I am, attempted to ramp off a speed bump. I stuck the landing -- literally, stuck it. I landed in what I thought was wet dirt but was actually a 1.5 foot deep pothole of mud. Slowing to a stop to collect myself, I happened across a small herd of buffalo (8-9 of them) on the slopes of the mountains foraging through tea plants. They all had horns and, despite my inclination toward daring speed bump ramps and other sure perils, I did not fancy disturbing them. I continued my ascent and when I finished I found myself on tea factory grounds occupying one of the mountain's highest point. I also found that my bicycle's back brakes had completely broken, relieving themselves of any culpability for the much more dangerous descent. The sweet speed bump airtime was the likely culprit. The second half of the ride was markedly less enjoyable, as the front brakes loudly and shrilly voiced their disapproval of their newfound responsibilities. Muddied but emboldened by my adventure, I settled to read on a rock outcropping as the sun began to set. The rock, however, turned out to be overlooking one of the local roads' many bottleneck points. People slowed on their motorcycles and in their rickshaws and cars to behold the muddy and seemingly lost white person. More waving was done than reading.Read more