Will Hess

Laura almost always wakes up before I do. Today was no exception, and she kindly shut the glass doors separating the living room from the bedroom to minimize noise so I could sleep in while she made an espresso. I awoke, bleary-eyed and still partially in a fugue-state, saw my beautiful wife sitting on the couch, started to walk towards her, and promptly left a body/face print on the glass door I had failed to spot. The moment sponsored several spontaneous laughing fits for Laura throughout the day.

After taking a moment to collect myself (Laura was doing the same in an entirely different fashion) I mustered up the remainder of my dignity and we made our way to breakfast. Over coffee and yogurt, we decided to give bicycle rental another shot and to hit a hike or two. Recalling our shoddy bikes from Bora Bora, we asked the activities desk staff to inquire if the bikes were capable ("and I cannot stress this enough") of shifting gears. Assured that they came with the particular feature, we went back to our room to pack backpacks with sunscreen, suits, towels, and lots of water.

We were thrilled to see the bikes were legit mountain bikes, capable of 29 gear combinations. We clambered on and took off ready for the day's adventures. We quickly learned that the bikes were not in fact perfect. My bike indeed did have many gear settings, but my derailer was intent on going above and beyond by having me experience their half states and sudden, unrequested changes. Laura's bike's rear-reflector was a-dangle, causing it to rub against her thighs as she peddled. We did our best not to let these quirks impede our journey, and after ~20m we reached the base of our hike -- "La Route Du Manoï". We stashed our bikes in the parking lot, and began walking our way up the winding incline.

It was at about this point that Laura remarked at how active we had been throughout our vacation... "You can really feel the compounding exertion starting to take its toll..."

The situation deteriorated from there.

The next 2 miles were peppered with huffs, pouts, and an angry glare or comment directed at the many scooters, ebikes, and ATVs that roared by us. We ultimately reached the summit, and paused to rest and down some water before making the descent. When we reached the bikes again, we took a rocky road towards a grove of pineapple trees, but abandoned that plan quickly as Laura's bike seat continued to attack her.

We decided to switch bikes, which immediately rectified that issue for Laura, bonus points in that it was much kinder to me. This gave Laura a second wind, and we continued the relatively flat journey further around the island. After a while, we began to value the prospect of lunch more than the prospect of developing more saddle sore, and turned around to return to the resort. That was smart move, as we both were running out of gas at the 17 mile mark that signaled the end of the trip. We dipped in our bungalow pools and then put back some chicken sandwiches at the resort grill.

Laura took a nice big nap to recover, and then we went out into the lagoon to do some snorkeling and make use of the remaining daylight. The snorkeling was quite good, we were surprised by the amount of coral and number/variety of fish just below the surface. Laura was also treated to a show, when I inadvertently triggered a Trigger Fish 🐠, and it rammed itself into me three times to drive me off. I finally turned around after the second to see what was touching me, and was startled to see the little guy hurtling himself at my foot. Mask flooding with water, I scrambled away, expending the sole shred of dignity I had leftover from my glass-door incident.

I consoled myself with a happy hour margarita while we watched the sunset and waited until it was time for our taxi ride to dinner at Moorea Beach Cafe.

Dinner was lovely; a beach side restaurant called Moorea Beach Cafe. Our table was 5 feet from the water, and we could hear the fish splashing and see the spotlights of boats on the water. We split a trio of tuna tacos that were most excellent. Laura had seared tuna with a soy glaze, while I had a half lobster over risotto. For dessert, Laura indulged in some ice cream, while I had a Cognac. Czytaj więcej