Chinese Squashed Voice

05/01/17

Bangkok

We are still in our super amazing luxurious fancy super awesome and high hotel (THANKS HAMMY!!!!!!) breakfast up on the 32nd floor looking over the city in the executive lounge is absolutely amazing! Noblet buzzing with anywhere that does a nice coffee so he is defo pleased in this place! I'm buzzing because they have a cheese platter for breakfast! It's basically CHRISTMAS!

Once we finish Scranage we head to the Chinese embassy to try to sort our visa out. We get there and go up a high rise and queue for fast track... The woman gives us the forms and we have 40 minutes to get all the guff together! And what a lot of guff...

Flights in and out of the country
Hotel reservation copy
Passport photo
A typed declaration confirming we are tourists
A massive form with everyone we knows details

It takes ages to sort out and we're running out of time for the fast track service... Noblet goes back upstairs to queue whilst I finish off printing stuff... We get it done (1hour 20 mins) we're late, bust it upstairs to the queue where Noblet is stood just getting to the front.... Throw the papers down to the woman.... Get a ticket and get sent to wait in a waiting room. It's like being at Argos except the people there don't respect the ding and keep looking at their phone and missing their numbers.... This makes everything take forever we get through eventually and miss the fast track service.(Chinese accent to be imagined) "yeah yeah we also need your exact itinerary for all countries up until getting to China (presumably our nuclear weapon procurement programme) buy tickets to Beijing and a statement as to why we needed fast track (typed)", so we massively failed, this is a super ball ache.

FFS

We decide to sack Beijing off and gamble on a visa on arrival. Problem is if your flight is delayed you can get arrested.... But God loves a gambler!!!! GAMBLE GAMBLE!

Head back to the hotel and walk round all the crazy markets for chicken on a stick. There isn't any. The markets are predominantly clothes, they are massive.

Get back to the hotel and get to play squash!!!! Never played before. Noblets dreading it after the tennis fiascos of Egypt and South Africa! Anyway.... We do all right and get a few rallies going what a great sport!!! Literally loving it!!! So playing this when we get back!!

Off to the free happy hour for yet more cheese followed by a trip to the neon markets!!

Job done.

What a fail of a day lol!!

(Post day note holly fell asleep before the neon markets so Noblet went and said it was shiny and cheaper than the day markets)

He also claims it had one of the bottom three singers we have heard so far on our trip.... But I cannot believe or verify this as what we have heard to date from Bali, Bajo, kohphagnan, anywhere in Thailand has been truly hideous.

Man: holly for exiting the lift at the Chinese embassy with perfect timing

Donkey: holly losing 7 games to 0 to Charlie and also thinking the squash was free. And also for drinking within 24 hours of saying she's not drinking again (as Charlie predicted)Read more