Time to pivot

As a wonderful example of the fact that social media isn't real, the last week or so has been really really hard. Yes, even in sunny Spain. First Lexie got sick, then I hurt my leg, then I also got sick, and then (as the cherry of cruelty atop the shit sundae) Lexie got hit with the issues outlined in her previous post. It's been a lot to navigate.

All of these things were impacting our schedule, which was quite a tightly bound thing, and, obviously, on both the physical and mental health of all involved. It doesn't help that it's been 30° here almost everyday since we arrived; we're from Tasmania for fuck's sake, go easy on us.

Lexie ultimately, bravely, made the right decision for her. I'm very very happy that she gets the relief of returning home.

The decision came on quickly and, in a couple of short hours, she was gone. I'll admit that seeing her get on the bus and leave felt almost like a break-up; a painful goodbye, left all alone, what was I going to do? 😔 I was emotional, unsure, a bit scared, and part of me really just wanted to chuck in and go home with her. When she left, I was immediately hit with a violent case of Leaky Eyes that lasted a good two hours.

I've learned a valuable lesson over the last 12 months or so, and it revolves around the idea of being comfortable being uncomfortable, and allowing emotions to settle before acting. So, I ordered myself a cafe con leche, reached out to friends, pulled up my big-girl pants, and started brainstorming my options. Unfortunately, there are many, which makes the decision more of a challenge, but hey, if I'm used to anything, it's a challenge! 😅

Maybe the crowd can weigh in, as I'm notorious for analysis-paralysis.

A) I continue on alone as planned, finishing up the Camino and my 10 day Portugal holiday at the end. Concerns: 5 weeks seems a long time and I don't want to trudge though whilst lonely.

B) I quit the Camino, try again another day, and pull my Portugal holiday forward in the schedule, changing my flight to come home after that, so in about 2/3 weeks instead of 5. Concerns: Feel bad about failing the Camino, but it'll always be there. Working out the logistics of all those changes/possibly paying more.

C) Continue on the Camino for one more week, and see how I feel. If my leg still isn't right, or if I'm having a bad time, then I could decide to pull Portugal forward after having a go. Concerns: As above.

D) Wild card. Quit the Camino, but keep the trip the original length, instead using my Camino days to go to the roller derby world champs in Sweden and extend my time in Paris. Concerns: Huge logistical shuffle and added cost. Adding champs in Sweden would be another $500-800 I believe, plus accommodation in Paris is all expensive.

Anyway. This I ponder as I sit in my very empty, very quiet big apartment in Santo Domingo that Lexie and I were to share for the next two nights. Everything feels very strange. I'm glad to have such a nice comfortable nest to burrow in while I attempt to figure all this out though. What a life! 💫

- BrannaRead more