Happy Birthday To Me!

Holy crap! It seems like just yesterday I turned 60 and here I am celebrating my 61st birthday. In my mind, there are times that number feels like it should be reversed and someone has made a horrible mistake. I still love playing rock and roll and blues guitar and get a thrill every time I hear Hendrix on the radio. Then I look in the mirror and wonder what happened to my hair and where the hell did all those wrinkles come from. On the other hand, I'm probably in better shape at 61 than I was at 16, so I guess I can live with the telltale signs of my true age.

On January 2nd, I awoke to Brenda sweetly singing Happy Birthday in my ear and a fantastical card that was an indicator of the day to come. We had to rise early as Brenda had booked a day trip to Elephant Jungle Sanctuary, a shelter for retired or abused elephants located about 60 kilometers south of Chiang Mai.

A driver picked us up promptly at 8:00 AM and we piled into the back of a converted pickup truck to make the ninety minute trip out of the city. We picked up eight other elephant lovers along the way, which made for a rather cozy ride. There were five Americans and three Germans, all of them in their 20's. They were a nice enough bunch and the trek passed by fairly quickly. We stopped for a break to stretch our legs about half way there and then headed right into the mountains where we seemed to climb forever. The road was quite twisty and, combined with the speed the driver handled the corners, I feared I would get to see what some of the others had eaten that morning. But in the end, everyone managed to hang onto their breakfasts.

As we neared the sanctuary, we turned off the main road and onto an unpaved bush road that was steeper than anything we'd been on thus far. With the heavy rain that fell on New Year's day, the truck could not maintain any traction on the downhill slope, so the driver stopped the vehicle and had us all walk down the hill while he skillfully manoeuvered his way to a safer parking spot. Of course, the descent was no less treacherous for the ten of us slip sliding our way down the slope, but we all made it without mishap, despite carrying large bags filled with bananas to feed our soon to be new friends.

The path to the camp continued downward for another ten minutes, crossing bridges and trellises made of bamboo and logs and next to a beautiful little waterfall. When we arrived at the sanctuary, we were briefed by our guide for the day, Athit, who gave a very entertaining and informative talk about the sanctuary and how to safely interact with the pachyderms. He explained we would be feeding the elephants before our lunch and then would prepare and give them herbal medicine before descending to a watering hole where we would give them a mud bath. We would meet seven elephants today, all but one of them females. The senior elephant is 55 years old and pregnant (!), there was a 40 year old, a 35 year old, a huge 30 year old, two 4 year olds and a 3 year old male called Peter, aka Naughty Boy. He is apparently quite mischievous and has a mind of his own. We were warned to stay clear of the beast's tails as they can hit hard enough to knock out a tooth. And don't let them step on your foot or you'll cry for more than three days, we were told. We were then instructed to remove our shirts and put on colorful woven tops made by the local Karen hill tribe. The elephants recognize the wearers of these garments as friends who give them food and affection. I had to wonder why none of the staff wore them!?

We walked up a small hill and the seven elephants all greeted us (and our bananas) with as much enthusiasm as we did to meet them. We had been told to feed them one banana at a time and to hide the rest of the bunch behind our backs. Well, you can run, but you cannot hide. They know all too well you've got more food in your other hand and will try to reach around you with their trunks, which are incredibly dextrous. Some of the elephants would immediately put each banana into their mouth while others would gather up six or seven in their trunks before scarfing them down. With all this food around, the elephants' mouths were all watering and one had to frequently dodge copious amounts of flying elephant snot as their trunks whirled around searching for more goodies. All the bags of bananas we brought were consumed in short order and then we were handed large chunks of sugar cane to hand over. They were equally thrilled by this sweet treat and we could hear the hard bark being crushed by their mouths all around us. As promised, Peter lived up to his nickname by wandering off from the crowd and foraging on some leaves off a small tree.

When all the food was exhausted, it was time for us to go to the trough and we were treated to a buffet of fried rice, stir fried vegetables and chicken for the meat eaters. It was quite delicious.

After lunch we prepared a mixture of raw brown rice and tree bark (that we husked and crushed with a rudimentary machine that was in essence a fool operated oversized mortar and pestle), and mashed bananas that was formed into baseball sized "pills". This herbal medicine is fed to the elephants daily and helps with their digestion. We were each handed two pills and instructed to feed one to two different elephants. Apparently, they know the routine and usually all line up and wait for their meds to be dispensed. But Naughty Boy had a different plan. He charged up the hill toward one of the girls and insisted on getting his pills before the others. The guides all rushed over to get him back into line, but not before he had managed to abscond with two pills.

Our final event of the day was bathing the elephants. We were instructed to leave our cameras behind to avoid having them damaged, but were told photos would be available online later in the day. So, unfortunately, there are no pics to share at this time. Just before stepping into the watering hole, one of the elephants decided to empty its bowels and bladder into the water. One of the guides deftly collected the floating balls of poop, which I suppose was to make us feel more comfortable!?! Uhhhhh..........Ah, what the hell, everybody went in anyway. In no time at all, mud was flying everywhere and not only the elephants were covered in it. Good, not so clean fun, I guess. We stood around and rubbed mud onto the elephants for about 45 minutes and then rinsed them off with water using small plastic bowls provided by the sanctuary. The older elephants seemed OK with the bathing, but Peter and one of the four year olds loved it. They were frolicking in the water and rolling around together. At one point, Peter sat down, curled his trunk up over his head, opened his mouth wide and invited us to throw as much water into it as we could. It looked as though he was laughing and was having a grand old time. This continued on for about 10 minutes until we were told to head over to the river to clean the mud off our bodies.

By the time we arrived back at the camp, all the elephants had been herded back toward the forest and had already covered themselves with dust after their bath. Elephant talcum powder?

At camp we sat around for a while and had a couple of Chang (Thai for elephant) beers while reminiscing on the events of the day. Unanimously, everyone was completely enthralled by the experience.

A perfect ending to a perfect excursion.

Being able to get up close and personal with these magnificent, intelligent creatures was a thrill I will always cherish. That was probably the best birthday present ever.

After the ninety minute ride home, we took a proper shower and removed the residual mud from our bodies before heading out for a lovely birthday dinner at Blue Diamond restaurant. As good as the food was, the meal was a little anti-climactic after our elephant experience.

Overall, a truly memorable and wondrous birthday!Read more