Balıkhane

I pride myself on perseverance... I don't give up. I'm tough. I can do this. I don't quit. I can take it.

So it was a bit challenging for me to admit, "Hey. I'm wrecked. I need rest."

I had planned an exciting hardcore traveler journey through Eastern Serbia and Bulgaria- trains and hostels and obscure destinations with esoteric goals like visiting Europe's oldest continuously inhabited city (Plovdiv, in case you're curious).... But Thursday, sitting in a run-down Soviet-era block apartment in Belgrade, coughing up green and blowing what felt like gallons of the same from my sinuses (I'll spare us photography) I had to admit: I *can* do this, but I'm being stubborn to my detriment. If I board a 13-hour train tomorrow, I'm going to hate it.

I can afford to make myself comfortable, to allow myself to heal. I can be weak. Nobody is going to even know unless I broadcast it publicly in a blog or something (why would I do that?!?)

And so I found a 90 minute flight and a fancy room online.... And 36 hours after making the decision (more or less) I'm sitting on a divan in an impeccably clean room with a luxurious king-size bed. I just ate my fill of a fantastic buffet breakfast after sleeping-in because the blackout curtains and noise-proofing created an impenetrable cocoon all night and I slept like the dead. I've had a hot hot shower with boutique bath products and dried myself with as many big fluffy towels as I want.

Big plans for the day include naps, and a steam room visit and/or jacuzzi. I may even walk around the block to see where I am.

I still feel.... Guilty? For taking the "easy way out" but I think I can unlearn that. Maybe I can carry that lesson forward in other areas of my life, too. I've wasted a lot of energy trying to make untenable positions work. Maybe it's time to apply lessons from work to my life: figure out the high percentage/high profit opportunities and leave the rest aside. Oddly, that's second nature to me professionally and almost offensive to my sense of adventure and/or interpersonal relationships. I wonder why?

It'll be a good thing to think about in the turkish bath, later.Read more