I am a very delicate noble flower

Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus!

I would like to start my blog by letting you know that I will not be addressing the baby Max Verstappen picture.

And by saying that it is Taylor Swift’s 13 000th day on Earth, to all who celebrate!

Now, on to the day!

I woke up to Lily’s rather annoying alarm; as she and Allegra got up to read I lay in bed still, reading as always. And, of course, I was simultaneously singing The Schuyler Sisters in my head, as I am wont to do.

They suffered through as I eventually got up, stepped over them like I was a noble and they were dying peasants in the French revolution, and made myself some breakfast, enjoying my food as I sat in front of the two of them close to tears, doing sit ups on the floor.

Damn, I would have been a *damn good* noble during the French Revolution.

Let them eat cake, y’all!

(Fun fact, Marie Antoinette never said that. And also in the original french it’s “let them eat brioche”. So. Now you’re cultured.)

Sadly I was immediately relegated to peasant mode as I had to pack my bag and help clean up and, to my great annoyance, I had to do under-bed checks, the bane of every Simpson child’s existence, and what’s more, mum insulted my honour by implying that I had not checked thoroughly.

Of course, I challenged her to a jousting duel.

And by that I mean I checked again as Mum laughed and said “this is how you get Ruby to do things”.

It can be said that I was flung from my horse. Mother remains the jousting victor.

But as we packed, my sisters and I had an interesting conversation in which we discussed fan fiction vs books and the merits and flaws of each. One sister prefers fan fiction, two prefer books, and one likes neither.

I’ll let you guess which is which.

We equally had some bopping tunes, including but not limited to Calum Hood, flowerovlove, and Renee Rapp. But since RAYE also played, I made clear my absolute h a t e for scatting, something that just rankles me. I was rankled.

I am a very delicate noble flower, I listen only to the orchestra, or perhaps at times, a wandering minstrel.

No hate to RAYE though!

As we applied sunscreen to our gorgeous faces, Mum broke the news: biscuit time would be limited. It was quite funny to me how they gently broke the news, as if worried that we would order they be beheaded. It was all “me and dad had a talk last night” and “we had to agree that”.

(Fun fact, Louis XVI is rumoured to have helped invent the guillotine, the very instrument of his death. I love the french revolution).

But yeah we have too many biscuits. We need to cut down.

And finally came time to exit the house!! Mum panicked because she couldn’t find her shoe, and then we all laughed when in fact it was in her hand.

Especially dad, to be honest.

And then, finally, f i n a l l y, for real, we were off! The road was long and windy, down a cliff face, or at least it felt like that at times. The twins and Lily questioned how boats float, and I believe the term “boat jesus” was tossed around. *rolls eyes in physics*.

And once we had arrived at the port, after some terrible harmonising, we stopped for a drink since our boat was in a whole hour or more.

First of all, we discussed our favourite ships: Destiel, Byler, Wolfstar etc. And then we got distracted by two boys who were about 14, who would just walk back and forth and each time they had a strange new accessory, such as a bottle of beer.

Tate then said “there’s something about a fit man in uniform that I like”, which, honestly, is understandable, but that prompted us to talk about firemen and then I told the story of the guy in France who saved a family from a fire, and now is being helped to get citizenship.

Dad took this opportunity to tell is about a family in a fire who were told by the fireman to chuck their baby and he would catch it saying it was alright because he was a goalkeeper in the football league.

The couple then threw their baby and he caught it, bounced it twice, and threw it up the pitch.

Once we had stopped laughing, Lily told me that she pictured the whole thing as Baby Verstappen, and then she laughed some more as I imitated it.

Some guy was doing bicep curls with his girlfriend’s suitcase and we all judged him harshly. It was rather weird.

But then to keep us occupied I proposed the game where two people say any word at the same time, and then based on the two words said they try to find common ground and say the same word at the same time, and you keep going until you do get the same word.

If you did not understand my explanation, blame not my poor communication skills, instead… uh… it’s a game for nobles. Peasants wouldn’t get it. Sorry!

Anyway, Lily and I played, and at one point she said Aaron Burr, and I said Mercedes. And, perhaps I am an idiot, a fool, but I feel that the common ground between the two is f a i r l y obvious. Aaron Burr shot Hamilton, a different Hamilton drove for Mercedes in F1…

Lily, in all her infinite wisdom, that I must not understand, said *Lewis* Hamilton. I simply said Hamilton. Because the other was Alexander Hamilton.

So yeah, we didn’t succeed.

But then! Our boat arrived, so we rushed to the front of the queue, and in memory of our funny video last year, decided to rush Lily to the front of the queue.

She takes her job very, v e r y seriously. She was first on the boat, passing some absolute cheats that was a group of men.

But the seats were assigned so it was no matter. Dad did, however, get to be among the first in the queue for food, but Lily and I joined him and asked for a cinnamon roll.

We should never have asked.

We must repent everyday for the pain and suffering we caused to our father. I feel more regret and remorse than I have ever imagined.

You see, because of our question, the waiter thought we were still deciding, and served someone else before us. Dad will never get back that precious minute of time. Our actions are inexcusable, which he let us know.

Lily and I feel shame to our very souls.

Anyway, on the boat, I read and Lily watched F1, I have no idea what the twins were doing, at some point we went to the outside, but yeah. It was chill.

Upon descending the boat, we sang an acapella rendition of a night to remember, from high school musical, and then we were told to look for a sign with dad’s name on it. Dad placed a bet on which car was ours, I said if he was wrong he owed me five euros, if he was right I would compose a paragraph in his honour in my blog.

Paul Birkett Casswell Simpson. What is there to say? How to put into the words the magnitude of his talent? None other could pick out the one six seater car and deduce it would be ours. No one else could then talk to the guy with his name on a sign, organise who would drive, and then drive the car to our house, through small, winding streets. What a man. It is an honour to be his daughter.

Who do you think won?

Anyway, so we drove through the streets and mum and dad argued a little because they got a bit lost, and during the drive I was sort of biting the end of my hair, I don’t know why, it’s not a habit I’ve ever picked up.

Lily found this too disgusting to even happen in her presence, tried to parent me into stopping, of course that made me want to continue, and at some point as mum and dad argued, Lily shouted at me and yanked my plait out my mouth, and Mum and Dad both shouted at her, leading to, drumroll please, grumpy Lily!

And that got worse when we got to the house, we all got out, the hosts started to show us around, and at some point we all came to the slow, quiet, realisation that yes, the hosts would be staying in the house too. Sure, it was a different apartment, but it is fairly awkward to be using their pool that they can’t use? And of course it is a little unnerving for the average teenage girl to have four random strangers that you didn’t expect, able to wander into the garden at any moment while you’re swimming.

And, well, we’re nobles, we simply don’t s h a r e. *shudders in Versailles*

So Lily got well upset with it, in sister solidarity and vague discomfort I also refused to swim, but the other four seemed to have no qualms.

We decided to go to a bakery and supermarket to get some stuff, and, well, we did. Yeah. Exciting stuff.

On the way back, Allegra analysed a line of K Pop that I have always mocked (“a lonely leaf sits right next to me”) and I had to be impressed. Of course it will never compare to Taylor Swift’s “autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place” but still.

And on the way home I managed to connect to bluetooth, and took requests. Lily asked for Sapphire, an Ed Sheeran song, and for some reason mum found this to be a personal affront to her. She really gave us the sense that we had failed as children for wanting to listen to a song, and it all ended when she skipped it halfway through, in a rather childish manner.

This sparked yet another argument. Too many for my delicate noble ears.

When we came home, my sisters and I played cards, and many a funny moment was had, laughter was at times hysterical. For example, Allegra kept threatening to spit water at me since I was across from her. And at some point, I played betty by Taylor Swift, Allegra begged me to skip it, I refused, something made Allegra laugh as she drank, so she spat her mouthful if water at me, and some landed on my phone and *skipped the song*.

I was so impressed that I didn’t even play it again.

But then we got ready to go out for dinner, some nice pictures were taken, and we were off!

Allegra made some funny joke about Louis 14 as we walked to the place. I can’t quite remember what, something about some house being his castle, anyway.

At the place, we felt so much like intruders because it was pretty much exclusively families with small children, it felt like we had walked in on a family barbecue. But with the confidence of brits who love to colonise, we strode in with our heads held high, and ordered a lot of greek salads.

The sunset was pretty awesome to look at, the sun was huge and red, pictures can’t quite capture the beauty.

Mum at some point said, “look at all my girls” to which Allegra relied with no hesitation, “I know, we’re so pretty”.

We chuckled.

And now, the moment that those who come from dad’s blog have been waiting for.

During dinner, at some point Lily was burping. Now, if you know Allegra, you know she finds it pretty gross. She told Lily to stop, Lily made fun of her, and in a real stroke of genius, Allegra then said “yeah? Well you can’t stand it if I do this” and then dramatically and hilarious pretended to eat my hair.

Dad just about burst out into laughter, I have never seen the man laugh so much. Lily was just gaping, we were all laughing, and maybe it doesn’t seem funny on the blog, but I think you had to be there to see Allegra’s exact movements and Lily’s gobsmacked face, not quite computing that Allegra had used her weakness against her and that we were all making fun of her.

I then brought up that fact that I thought women weren’t in F1 for physical, physiological, like scientific reasons, as dad had told me once I’m sure. I was then hated on and called sexist as I desperately tried to explain that I did not believe this; Lily decided to look up if a woman had ever been in F1.

And now for moment number two. For reference, we sometimes make vaguely misogynistic jokes, but as a joke. And only amongst ourselves, we aren’t actually sexist guys.

But Lily said “actually, a woman did drive in the qualifications for F1 in 1951”, and Allegra replied in a tone of utmost confusion and inability to understand how this had come about, said, “why, was she lost?”

And if you know my father, you know he can appreciate some expertly delivered misogynistic jokes.

He was shaking with laughter, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes even minutes later, as Allegra proclaimed that her ego was going to get too big.

It was a hilarious moment.

Once again, to clarify, not a one of us thinks women can’t compete in F1.

Anyway.

We walked home in the dark, it was peaceful and very funny , and when we returned we realised that the hosts were not here, so my sisters and I joyously jumped in the pool. It was hilariously funny, but sadly I shan’t disclose the exact reason for the laughter.

We did freak out some stray cats though, by lining up to crab walk along the side of the pool every time they moved, so they got quite worried I think.

After that, we headed up to hang with our parents, and a nice relaxing end to a strange day.

And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
Bye family!!!Read more