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Short Kenya and Uganda
  • Powell Ettinger
November 1991

Short Kenya and Uganda

As written at the time. Transcribed from my notebook. Read more
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    November 9, 1991
    Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Mombasa

    November 9, 1991 in Kenya ⋅ 30 °C

    Background was that I had sold a headrest that I bought in Nairobi Market in 1990 for £300. I visited WTM using my fake Khao San Road Press Pass to get into WTM, and while there I saw Hayes and Jarvis were offering £90 package, including flights and a week in a beach hotel. I bought the package but added an extra week. £90 return!

    Flown in down the Rift Valley. Right along Turkana, then cloudy to Naivasha, Crescent Island, The Steam Power Stations, Hells Gate Gorge and Longonot all very apparent.

    Well its great to be back in the land of ‘Hello my friends’, hassling store men & shopkeepers, and beggars.

    Someone actually tried to arrest me yesterday morning for changing money on the street. The fact that I hadn’t and he wasn’t a policeman didn’t seem to bother him.
    Getting off the plane was like stepping into the proverbial sauna, Dam hot. After 2 quick bus rides I went to the station and purchased myself a 1st sleeper to Nairobi (551 sh) + dinner (160) + breakfast (100).
    Got waylaid in the PM by a very well educated allegedly ex-journalist, who explained to me all about the ECU and EMU. He asked me why we had so much racial tension in London (EG Brixton Riots) and how much we heard about Kenya at home. Then I got the pictures of his family, details of his new business, stories about why all of his friends were in jail for supporting Democracy. He then asks me about what I thought of “Shaka”. I was non-plussed as to why the Zulu king was relevant until it became apparent 5 minutes later that he meant Linda Chalker, UK Foreign Aid Minister at the time. She had recently threatened to cut off all aid unless Kenya gets it act together. However I began to wonder when he offered me a residents permit, and eventually after 2.5 hours hard socio-political and economic debate, he got down to the real nitty-gritty. Could I lend him 300 Shillings? He had played a blinder, and I suspect everything he told me was true, but he’ll have to do better than that to get me to cough up 300 shillings.

    Went to wait for my train and was approached by a very good looking black girl, with a Deep South Georgian accent (USA not Falklands) who was having problems getting on the train. Someone had offered to ‘take her luggage’ for her – Shades of Clouseau – “May I take you coat and hat sir?”.
    Then things got out of hand. A couple got onto the train and into the next door compartment. Andre, a dealer from Portobello Road (Who wasn’t traveling on KR) and Christine, who had worked for Anita Grey for 5 years, so had a long chat about the world of antiques over dinner. Sadly also had to put up with the as usual uninspired Aussie/Canadian contingent over a Tusker or two.    Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Nairobi

    November 10, 1991 in Kenya

    Breakfast was a dream. Bacon, eggs, sausage, toast & tea, all served by white coated waiters while travelling across the Athi Plains with all the usual plains game, except majestically wandering herds of wildebeest. ETA Nairobi 5 minutes.
    Nairobi is much the same as ever. Y-not, Iqbal’s, Hamburgerland, Thorn Tree Café, Woollies and no water down the Latymer Road. Bujumbura GNSH is full so decided not to stay but to head to Kampala forthwith, so had a butchers around the market but not at all impressed by what was on offer – Shit! Never mind, I’m having fun. A couple of the market ladies recognized me, as did the ever-present Bob, and I recognized all the waiters in the Iqbal. The one with the mad staring eye, the grumpy one with the tash etc.    Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    To the border

    November 11, 1991 in Uganda ⋅ 15 °C

    The overnight bus to the border was everything I expected and prayed it would be like. Absolutely packed solid, V noisy (At least the roads have improved a lot), not an inch to wiggle a toe, and the bus decided it wouldn’t actually bother go to the border so we had to change to another bus and I had to stand for the last 2 hours. Booked a train back for Saturday, buggered if I am going on that bus again. The booking office took my booking at 5.30 AM!Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Kampala YMCA

    November 12, 1991 in Uganda

    Crossed the border into Uganda and was much disturbed to find out that Brits now need a visa, costing $20, to get into Uganda. Managed to convince them I only needed a transit visa, which was $10. There is no black market in Uganda for money, despite what all the matey-peeps in no-mans land will tell you.

    Peeps in general very helpful and friendly, the roads very good (Even a dual carriageway for a bit) and the matatu very fast but full and immensely uncomfortable. Crossed the dam that is the source of the Nile and arrived in Kampala about mid-day, absolutely stuffed.
    Kampala is damned hot but not a bad place. The countryside is incredibly lush and really nice, but Kampala isn’t a picturesque place. I wandered around at random but it took me a couple of hours to find a handicraft of any sort, and no trace of any headrests or anything vaguely interesting. Hang around a little with a Kiwi and an Aussie (Who was everything you would expect). The Aussie was telling me about this tape he had with him, about a great Aussie singer. I tried to avoid listening to it but it turned to be Kevin Bloody Wilson (see Australia 1990). No escape from The Yobbo!
    Staying at the YMCA with a dozen or so others. It is sparse but OK. Dinner was good but took 2.5 hours to arrive! Changed £20 and got a huge wad of notes, more than 150 notes – about 38000 Uganda shillings.    Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Kampala hanging about

    November 13, 1991 in Uganda ⋅ 24 °C

    Don’t think Kampala has much in store for me, but I have 2 days to kill.
    Managed to kill 2 days fairly respectably and was much impressed with Kampala and the efforts of Uganda to get their act together. The city is full of people cutting grass, digging drains, fixing buildings etc, and people do want to chat for chats sake without asking for a shilling or dollar one. Sometimes too much so. It took me a couple of hours to shake off one friend. I tried the usual tricks, dazzled him with science, boring him to death – I eventually had to revert to the old museum ploy though he did his best to thwart me by misdirecting me several times. Eventually though the museum proved too much for him.

    Kampala is brimming with birds, big ones of all descriptions, but especially maribou storks. It is apparently illegal to shoot or otherwise harm them, so Kampala’s version of Trafalgar Square is full of birds of prey, egrets and storks, not pigeons.    Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Entebbe botanical

    November 14, 1991 in Uganda

    Entebbe Botanical Gardens is really just a piece of parkland with a few different types of tree and monkeys, and some ferocious little red ant bastards, that, once they have got you, don’t let go for anything, and they hurt too.
    The Ugandan version of a lollipop lady is a teenage boy who acts as though his life depends on his topping the traffic and getting those kids across safely. No mean feat with some of the local driving, though it isn’t nearly as bad as in Kenya, and matatu numbers are strictly adhered to.
    The kids in the swimming pool are playing goalkeeping. I’m Peter Shilton” said the first, “who are you?”. “Schmeichel of course” said number 2, in a Mancunian accent.
    Eventually found a few handicraft shops , but there is only 1 headrest in Uganda and that is in the museum, and it isn’t a very good one either.    Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Mabira Forest

    November 16, 1991 in Uganda

    Couldn’t face the bus back to Nairobi so had an extra day to kill, so I headed for Mabira Forest, a government run forest reserve about 20 kms out of Jinja on the road to Kenya. Hired not one but 2 guides and spent 4 hours in the jungle. Amazing place, I always enjoy jungles + forests for some reason.Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Tororo prison

    November 17, 1991 in Uganda

    Made it to Tororo, quite a fun place. But heavily into staring at gringos, Stayed in a really grimy grot hole, no water (nothing unusual), air, peace or pretense of friendliness. Very strong impression that the hotel is a recycled prison, but they haven’t even redecorated since the change of use. Or changed the staff.Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    Nairobi market

    November 18, 1991 in Kenya ⋅ 19 °C

    Crossed the border uneventfully and killed time until my train was due. Shared with an English guy called Tony Lawson from Tunbridge Wells! Got on very well. Had a few beers and found out that we were due into Nakuru at 03.30. No way Jose, Nakuru will have to suffer without me.

    Nairobi was much its usual self, water running through the ceiling but not through the taps. Spent a day on safari and a day buying headrests. Didn’t have a moment to spare. Modern Green Bar (RIP – editors note), Satkar, Y-not, Burgerland + New Flora got my business.    Read more

  • Powell EttingerShort Kenya and UgandaPowell Ettinger

    mombasa

    November 21, 1991 in Kenya ⋅ 25 °C

    Having bashed on about the Shelley Beach Hotel ad infinitum to make everyone jealous, and splashed around a few pictures of it, it is revolting. None more so than the lady I have the pleasure of sharing my breakfast table with. She has the unique distinction of being as attractive as a baboon’s arse, but considerably less intelligent, and with a thick Birmingham accent to boot. I am sorry to be so spiteful to a fellow human being but I really can’t put the ill luck into words, and breakfast and dinner conversation is an interesting as watching Luton V Rotherham.

    Apart from that prices here are three times the going rate, the place is stuffed with fat middle aged couples who daren’t leave the hotel compound and a small convention of travel agents who are ill, sunburned and pissed off because their special deal was more than double what I had paid. For decent conversation I took to going to the bush bar over the road – And the beer is a lot cheaper. Most of the guys there worked at the hotel and can’t believe that people fly all the way to Kenya and then don’t leave the hotel. Guiness is the thing here, with a shot of black currant – When in Rome.

    Wandered back to the hotel suffering from too much blackcurrant, to find one of the couples had, very sweetly, waited up for me! They had seen me leave several hours earlier and were worried!    Read more

    Trip end
    November 23, 1991
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