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  • Day 11 - The Tale of Big Ang

    December 20, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 25 °C

    Both Jackie & I received half a dozen mosquito bites in bed, which are crispy and oozing like the sap from a tree.

    I went down to breakfast first & was reacquainted with Big Ang, who asked if she could join me at my table.

    Jackie & I first met Big Ang at Heathrow Airport, when she occupied the three seats immediately in front of us on the plane. She got off at Phuket Airport and she arrived behind us in the same taxi at the same wrong hotel & then arrived behind us in the same taxi at the correct hotel. She was keen to talk to us at the correct hotel because she wanted our knowledge to help her complete the check in & Covid processes. During this brief exchange we learnt that she was meeting a friend & going to stay at her friend’s brother’s beach resort on Koh Phayam. We saw her on a couple of occasions over the next 24 hours, but I felt she was blanking us, so I took a dislike to her.

    Almost as soon as we arrived on Koh Phayam, we worked it out that Big Ang was going to be staying at Sabai Sabai. This was confirmed when we first met owner James’ mother who said that her daughter was arriving in a few day with her friend, who she tactfully described her as a larger lady.

    Big Ang is a tall, but also very wide 58 year old lady with her legs covered in tattoos & New Model Army red spiky hair. She has limited mobility due to nerve damage & suffers from anxiety. She is an ex-nurse and met James’ sister, Emma, whilst both volunteering at a shelter for the homeless.

    After chatting about our travels to date, we were joined by Jackie & the subject of music came up when I got a message to say my PIL tickets had been secured. Jackie piped up to Big Ang that she wouldn’t like my music or have heard of my favourite band. On the contrary, she likes New Model Army and generally the same bands as me. I wasn’t surprised judging by the colour of her hair. She went up even further in my estimation, when she revealed that the first band she ever saw in concert was the Dead Kennedys. We talked about concerts and festivals and she tipped me off about the Stone Valley Festival South 2022 in Hertfordshire which features a lot of my bands. I suspect I will be booking a pair of weekend tickets for it in the coming days!

    Big Ang turned out to be very pleasant and amusing, but she did like to talk. It was nearly 2 hours later that we managed to prise ourselves away & scootered off back to our favourite beach.

    At Long Beach we repeated our routine of reserving our beds at Lazy Hut, then took a walk for a mile up the beach where we took a swim amongst the trainee surfers on the sporadic big wave.

    We returned to Lazy Hut in time for lunch consisting of beers, french fries & fried vegetable spring rolls. Jackie ordered a pork curry with extra spice that was way too spicy to eat. She ate half, then pretended she was full.

    The afternoon was the same same until 5pm, when instead of having an ice cream from the little motorbike man & we both had a sundowner gin & tonic for medicinal reasons. The sun had gone down when we returned to the scooter only to find that the scootering German couple from Sabai Sabai were also mounting their two scooters.

    After exchanging pleasantries, l attempted to get a flying start in the nonexistent race home only for Jackie’s flip flop to fall off in the sand. Luckily I was blocking the path, whilst Jackie made several panicky aborted attempts to retrieve her shoe. Finally we were off & as soon as I was confident with the condition of the road, I opened up the throttle leaving the Germans for dead. It did mean that we got yet another bug facial, but more importantly we won.

    After showers we were getting ready when we heard a strange loud flapping noise, but assumed it was some animal outside. I then went to the loo and was confronted by this foot long lizard running down the wall. It nearly gave me a heart attack, but I managed to grab my phone & get a quick photo of it before it disappeared into the bamboo wall. I might yet still win BBC Wildlife Photographer of the Year or maybe not……

    We returned to ‘36’ for a green & a yellow curry followed by a quick Hong Thong nightcap back at the cottage before calling it an early night.

    Much to my surprise Jackie decided to get dressed in a white skintight vest top & white knickers. She looked like a wrestler from ITV’s World of Sport in her wrestling leotard. I was going to bed with ‘Jackie McManus - The Great Mosquito Destroyer’.

    Song of the Day: My Love Is Like A Wave / Razor Blade Reprise by The Silencers.
    Rise by Public Image Limited.
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