• Simon and Jackie Annals
  • Simon and Jackie Annals

No SADness in Thailand

Hopefully no Seasonal Affective Disorder for us by avoiding the weather, Christmas & the supermarket shortages in the UK by heading to Thailand for a 2 month holiday. Okumaya devam et
  • Day 57 - You’re Beautiful……………………Really!

    4 Şubat 2022, Tayland ⋅ 🌙 25 °C

    At 8am the alarm rang on our final morning in Thailand. We drank copious amounts of instant coffee & water, then showered, packed & headed to reception at 10am.

    Our receptionist was waiting with his car & he drove us 2 minutes up the road to International Departures. We arrived 2nd in the Thai Air queue, behind Sue & Larry Hook who are in their 70’s from Dorset. Sue was a Mrs Bouquet character & asked Jackie how long we had been in Thailand for. When Jackie told her 2 months, Sue Bucket said that they had only been away for one month, but quickly added that they normally go away for 3 months & they always go back to the same place in Khao Lak. Sue Bucket then tried to impress us further by listing all the places they had been to in India. I zoned out, but I think Jackie out Asian country’d her.

    We had to endure this point scoring for longer than necessary, because the Thai Airways check-in computers had crashed. Eventually we able to check in & we had to show proof of our Passenger Locator Forms & proof that we had been fully vaccinated.

    As we went airside, a lesbian security guard who was only about 20 years old, asked Jackie to remove her mask, then gasped “Oh. You’re beautiful”. FFS, I’m not going to hear the end of this!

    No-one complimented me on my looks, instead at the search area my rucksack was searched over & over again until they found the unidentified article, my new mini hip flask, a Christmas present from my parents.

    The duty free shop was deserted & staff were just starting to re-stock the shelves after probably being closed for the last 2 years. There were no cigarettes on display & the only ones available to buy were Chinese.

    We boarded the Thai Airways 777 at 12.30pm & discovered that it was less than a quarter full. This meant that Jackie & I both had a set of three seats to ourselves including a window. It promised to be a good flight.

    Shortly after taking taking off, the crew came round with our very satisfactory dinner of chicken curry. Over the next hour or so, Jackie managed to eke 5 glasses of red wine for us each from the crew despite a tannoy message to say that alcohol would only be served with meal service.

    Our flight took us out over the Andaman Sea, over the Andaman Islands across the top of India. It was then over Pakistan, north of Karachi & then over Iran, where we were treated to clear skies & fantastic views of the barren mountainous landscape below. Sadly as we approached Tehran, a carpet of thick cloud obscured the view of planet earth.

    Around 9.30pm, Phuket time, the crew came out with a 2nd meal which was absolutely farcical. We were offered a choice of shrimp or fish. Jackie chose shrimp, but they only had fish left. She opened up her dinner & immediately put the grey fish, grey rice & grey vegetables to one side.

    In the meantime, I had politely explained to the steward that I was fish & seafood intolerant, but I would take the rest of it with a glass of wine. The baffled steward offered me another chicken curry, but I would have to wait 10 minutes for it to cook. Whilst waiting I decided there was nothing else on my tray that I wanted to eat.

    10 minutes later my chicken curry arrived & it was as dry as a bone, because it had no doubt been heated up again from the 1st meal service. I nibbled at it, then the crew offered me a vegetarian meal, which looked like Jackie’s fish without the fish.
    I declined, then they brought me out some posh bread rolls from down the front of the plane. I took a bread roll, then cheekily asked for some cheese & biscuits. I was presented with a selection that I accepted & shared with Jackie. We also managed to get a total of three glasses of wine each out them.

    I should add that I wasn’t the only fussy one, Mrs Bucket had a field day with her complaints. The weirdest thing about it all was that as soon as the crew had cleared in the trays & stopped serving alcohol, they randomly handed out to each of us a triple chicken sandwich. I couldn’t even contemplate attempting to eat it, but Jackie had a good go.

    The evening sunset was quite spectacular as we skirted the southern shores of the Black Sea. The sun sank down into darkness as our journey continued across Romania, Hungary, Austria, Germany, Belgium & finally good old Blighty. Our 13 and a half hour flight landed at Heathrow at 7.45pm. A long flight, but made so much easier when you can stretch your legs out over three seats!

    Getting through the arrivals procedures at an empty Heathrow was an absolute doddle. The immigration process allowed us to go straight through the E-reader booths & there were no requests to produce our Passenger Locator Forms. Our luggage came out with minutes & there were no customs to stop us.

    As a result we were able to catch an earlier National Express than planned, giving me the opportunity to watch the FA cup football on my IPad & the disappointing penalty shootout at home, which was lovely & warm thanks to our neighbour, Emma.

    Song of the Day: You’re Beautiful by James Blunt.
    Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver.
    Planet Earth by Duran Duran.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 56 - Earned Our Plane Spotter Badges

    3 Şubat 2022, Tayland ⋅ ☀️ 28 °C

    We both slept for in excess of 10 hours. I had dreams of grilled teriyaki chicken, what a pervert!

    For the next two to three hours we sat on our balcony drinking instant coffee in minimal attire dealing with the constant stream of emails requesting details of everything about me short of my inside leg measurements, blogging & generally WhatsApp’ing.

    It is a good time to mention that I asked for more coffee sachets at reception & a lady came down with a tray of coffee & creamers & a more bottles of water. What do you have to moan about Jackie? She walked into the glass window, it didn’t have enough warning stickers on it & apparently the shower was not quite too her preferred temperature!

    We completed both our Passenger Locator Forms which are required at check-in to allow us to board the aircraft back to London. We have had to pre-book an LFT test to complete within 48 hours of landing in the UK for £12 each to allow us to complete the PLF. Up until very recently we needed to take a negative LFT test here in Thailand just 24 hours before boarding the aircraft, but thanks to good old Boris we have to do nothing of the sort this end. Or so we hope!

    Around 12.30pm, we followed my dreams & went back to Naiyang Café for egg noodles with teriyaki grilled chicken & Jackie ordered a Pad Thai with shrimp. Jackie had a ‘recommended’ date iced latte coffee & I had a date coffee shake. It was all fabulous & we made the decision that we had to return again tonight. It is just too good!

    After our lunch, we headed to Nai Yang Beach, which is part of Sirinat National Park & hence required another entrance fee of 200 Baht per person. Eight weeks ago, we refused to pay the entrance fee, but I had regretted it ever since & today we were prepared to pay the fee just to go plane spotting.

    When we approached the entrance to Sirinat National Park, the lady collecting the money told us how much it would be, but suggested two alternative options. We could either come back at 5pm when there was no one on the gate or take an alternative route that she described to us that would get us to beach without having to pay the entrance fee.

    Bless her, we took the latter option & saved ourselves a tenner. We walked along the attractive beach until we found the other anoraks (mainly in bikinis & shorts) under the flight path of the incoming flights to Phuket International Airport. We spent a couple of hours on the beach waiting, photographing & videoing the incoming aircraft as they flew low over our heads on their approach. We also stood behind the aircraft as they revved up on the runway before taking off. Jackie absolutely loved it.

    We were stupidly dehydrated when we left the beach having forgotten to take any fluids with us. We took a pit stop back at our hotel, by drinking litres of water, then we headed out in search of beer. Our first stop was Heng Heng Heng, which we were due to return to following our visit the previous day. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any cold Chang & we had a lukewarm beer watered down by ice.

    It wasn’t ideal, so we took a walk & stopped at our very first restaurant ‘Where It Began’, on this trip. We sat & supped several cold beers, whilst watching the world go by on another busy street.

    Finally satiated, we headed home via 7-11 for provisions for breakfast, the airport & the flight home. Back on our balcony, I got myself a head start on the penultimate blog, whilst sipping Hong Thongs & coke. Time passed us by, because it was 7.45pm, when we realised the time & we needed to get back out to eat.

    We rushed back to Naiyang Café AGAIN for our final Thai meal. I ordered Chicken and cashew nuts, whilst Jackie, who was slightly pissed, but will never admit it, ordered just a spicy chicken salad. I ordered a plain soda water, whilst Jackie ordered a fancy one. The so reasonably priced dinner was yet again fantastic & it is possibly the consistently best quality food that either of us have ever eaten. The Muslim ladies were also delightful, they couldn’t have been politer & more eager to please………..in a culinary way!

    I’m going to write to the Michelin Guide with my recommendation that the Naiyang Café be awarded stars. That should sway it!!

    After dinner, I dragged Jackie to a pancake stall on the main road & bought a banana pancake for just 20 Baht, about 45 pence. I took it back to our room to eat with a Hong Thong nightcap.

    Song of the Day: Blogging by Wire.
    Incoming by Something Happens!
    Low Flying by Mazzy Star.
    Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond (Slightly tenuous!).
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 55 - Sunrise over Koh Samui

    2 Şubat 2022, Tayland ⋅ 🌙 27 °C

    We were awoken by a cacophony of alarm clocks all going off at 3am. Having showered, dressed & fully packed, we noisily trundled through the sleeping resort at 3.50am to find our taxi driver waiting for us outside reception.

    The taxi ride took 30 minutes back to Thong Sala, where we collected our ferry & bus tickets, then boarded the ferry. We sat outside at the back to witness our 1st sunrise of the trip. At 5am sharp, we pulled out of the port for the 36 mile 1st leg of our long journey home.

    As we passed Koh Samui, the sun started to rise providing us quite a dramatic red sky with angry black clouds over the island. Apparently the weather was due to change & rain was forecast for the next few days. We were getting out just in time!

    Once daylight was upon us, we decided to move inside to the comfy seats & it was then that we discovered that our luggage & feet were filthy. We had been standing in soot deposits from the funnels. Everything was black & so began a clean up operation using wet wipes.

    We arrived at Don Sak Pier at 7.20am without the slightest sniff of a Pink Dolphin.
    We then boarded a minibus to take us to their bus station, where we transferred to another minibus to take us the next 68 miles to Surat Thani.

    This journey ended at a travel office, where we had to wait just 10 minutes for the Phuket bus to arrive. We spent the next 5 and a half hours & 142 miles on the bus before we were dropped off at a taxi rank near to Phuket International Airport.

    The bus ride was a very pleasant experience. Jackie & I had a double seat each & the route on Highway 401 took us through the mountainous jungle of Khao Sok National Park to Takua Pa Bus Terminal where we stopped for a 15 minute break.

    Now Takua Pa Bus Terminal was where I nearly had a toilet disaster last time, but no such problems this time. However, Jackie took it upon herself to visit the 7-11 & returned with our breakfast/lunchtime snacks. She gave me my snack which she thought was a pineapple pastry, but was in fact a corn pastry as clearly written on the wrapper. It was too late to change it so I took a bite of what was sweetcorn in custard in pastry. Disgusting & totally inedible!

    Jackie had bought herself a double pocket sandwich, but she had picked up a crab stick sandwich doubled up with a pulled pork sandwich which she doesn’t like. Jackie tried to placate me her unwanted pulled pork sandwich, which when I sniffed it had a hint of crab. No thanks.

    Now hungry, the bus continued down the Andaman Sea coast road via Khok Kloi to Phuket where upon entry we were stopped & two surly police officers boarded the bus & demanded to see everyone’s documents. We had to provide our passports & proof of our vaccinations. (The Anti-Vaxxers won’t be holidaying in Thailand anytime soon!) Three Thai people were also escorted off the bus & didn’t return.

    At the taxi rank, a lone taxi driver agreed to take us & 2 lads to our respective destinations for just 100 Baht each. We dropped off one lad off at a shitty little hotel, the 2nd at an empty International Departures, then he dropped us off at our new hotel, Himaphan Boutique Resort.

    Jackie was immediately on the lookout for things to complain about because I had overruled her & booked this hotel. It was considerably cheaper than the one she wanted to stay in that we had stayed in when we first landed in Thailand on this trip.

    Here we go with her complaints :-
    Firstly, the receptionist didn’t speak very good English.
    Secondly, we were the last room at the back of the resort. It was a long walk, NOT how lovely & secluded it was!
    Thirdly, the internet is rubbish. It was a bit, but I went back to reception & he rebooted the internet for us & it is fine now.
    Fourthly, the aircon is not cold enough. FFS, give it time to do it’s job.
    Fifthly, some of the other guests seem a bit scummy, which is what you get if you go too cheap. She had seen just one fat bloke with lots of tattoos. Ok that’s enough now!

    The 53 metre square room is actually very very nice, well furnished, a large comfy bed & fully glazed on two sides with sliding doors & a balcony overlooking attractive gardens. We also have complimentary tea, coffee, bottles of water & a lift to the airport, all for just £29 a night. Say no more!

    After ending the discussion on the pros & cons of the new hotel, we headed out for a beer & a much needed snack. We found Cafe 32120, a quirky little place where we enjoyed a couple of small Changs each & shared a plate of vegetable spring rolls. We then found a little Thai restaurant that seemed very popular with the locals, so we had another couple of beers & marvelled at how efficient & speedy their cooking methods with their woks were. We are going to be returning the following night apparently.

    After popping into 7-11, we returned to our luxurious hotel room for a quick Hong Thong, a freshen up & then it was back out to Naiyang Cafe, which I had been looking forward to for nearly 8 weeks. It is a Muslim restaurant, so no alcohol so we ordered lemon & passion fruit sodas, which were a taste sensation. Jackie ordered teriyaki fried chicken on rice & I had the healthy option of glass noodles with grilled chicken & teriyaki. The attention to the detail in the presentation was excellent & it was all so so good.

    A quick snifter on the balcony finished off our evening at the unbelievably late hour of 10pm.

    Song of the Day: Sunrise by Pulp.
    Stormclouds by New Model Army.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 54 - Final Day at Salad Beach

    1 Şubat 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 32 °C

    Our sleep patterns are now back to normal with no mysterious sweats. Sadly it was our last proper nights sleep. Tomorrow we would be back on the mainland by the time we got out of bed this morning.

    We did a bit of packing, reserved our sun beds then toddled down the beach to Coral Beach restaurant for a final avocado & poached eggs on toast. I took a risk & went fried with french toast. It was a splendid breakfast to savour, washed down with iced lattes & coffee shakes.

    Thanks to my mother, I have now discovered the joys (or addiction) of Wordle. It made a nice change to reading a book & I have so far played 48 games with a 100% success rate………..just saying!

    Lunch was literally just a couple of Hong Thongs on the balcony, weaning ourselves off Chang!

    The afternoon was more of the same until 5pm, when we reluctantly called it a day. We packed as much as we possibly could, showered & settled down to a couple of sundowners & watched one of our better sunsets.

    We went back to our restaurant for our final meal. Pat & Joe were both still on duty so I forced them into having their photo taken for my blog, because this was to be the last day of our acquaintance. Pat asked us if she wanted her to give us a knock at 4am to make sure we were up & wouldn’t miss the taxi & ferry. We declined, but it was a nice offer, that or she wanted to see the back of us!

    We ordered a beer & it felt like the absolutely perfect night to end our stay at Salad Beach. Twenty minutes later we ordered our dinner of a spicy Massaman curry & a pad Thai. Annoyingly, our dinner arrived nearly an hour later & it was just lukewarm. The Massaman curry was also too mild. We ate it, but moaned to Joe that it was too cold & he admitted that the cook had gone shopping for baby milk & the food had arrived by taxi from their other restaurant. The dishes cost just a couple of pound each & it seemed churlish to moan, but sadly it put a dampers on our final meal.

    We had a couple of quick Hong Thongs & then it was to bed.

    Song of the Day: Last Day of Our Acquaintance by Sinead O’Connor.
    Final Days by Cheap Trick.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 53 - Firecrackers at Dawn

    31 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    Before we had got out of bed, the morning silence, around 9am, had been shattered by the sound of firecrackers. We got up & set up camp in our usual place & Joe, the waiter informed us it was the last day of the Thai New Year, hence the firecrackers throughout the morning.

    Despite the firecrackers, the sea was calm & we went snorkelling for a good half hour, but apart from a few small fish there wasn’t a lot to see. We needed the exercise.

    At lunch we wandered down to Dubble Duke for a couple of beers to wash down an overpriced cheese & ham baguette & french fries that we shared. Over lunch we booked our hotel for our final 2 nights in Thailand & was rather pleased with the price. We have just got to get to it now on Wednesday, but that’s another story!

    The afternoon was just sun, sun, sun until Jackie abandoned me at 4pm for an hour long all over body massage with aloe vera. She came back radiant & gushing about how fantastic it had been….all for just 350 Baht. Apparently most of the resort have had to witness her exposed buttocks.

    With Jackie in a buoyant mood, we decided to have more happy hour cocktails & knowing what we like, we ordered 2 White Russians with an Orange Daiquiri chaser again. Very pleasant.

    That evening, for the very 1st time, we chose to have dinner at our resort restaurant, principally because it was open & there were no families with screaming infants dining. We ordered our dinner & sat back to enjoy the serenity of the quiet empty beach & fishing boats on the horizon. All of a sudden 9 (they’ve recruited another) Russian boys ran shouting on to the beach armed with spades. They then proceeded to build & trash each other castles, which if nothing else did provide a bit of entertainment.

    When our dinner it arrived, it was delicious & as good as anything we had had on our trip so far. Jackie had spicy pineapple & pork, whilst I had fried mushrooms with chicken.

    Over a Hong Thong on the balcony, we reflected on our trip & couldn’t believe that we would be home in literally a couple of days. The last week has absolutely flown by.

    Song of the Day: Firecracker by Ryan Adams.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 52 - Today Is a Good Day

    30 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    Looks like those sleep sweats are now thankfully a thing of the past. About 10am, we went to breakfast at Coral Beach because Jackie was excited to have the avocado & poached eggs on toast again, which didn’t let her down. I had porridge with banana. It was a good breakfast.

    We set up camp on the seafront sun beds & read our books through to lunchtime. I have to confess the 8 young Russian boys who arrived yesterday made me laugh as they proceeded to dig up the whole beach & bury each other. What was slightly sinister was that when a boy was buried up to their neck & unable to move, others waterboarded him by constantly pouring buckets of water over his head. Poor old Joe, our waiter, had nowhere on the sand to set up his table & chairs!

    It is a slightly surreal feeling to have so many (generally pleasant) Russians around enjoying themselves, when you read the news & the events going on along the Ukrainian border.

    Lunch was just a beer each in the restaurant at our resort, then more sunbathing.

    At 5pm, Jackie decided it was time to sample the Happy Hour cocktails that our resort were now offering at a reasonable price. We both ordered a White Russian & because if you bought 2 you got one free, we ordered a follow up of an Orange Daiquiri. They were good cocktails, but damn strong.

    That evening we returned to Spicy Salad at the end of the beach for a romantic dinner. We were both hungry & ordered a meal each! Jackie ordered a Thai pork green curry & I ordered fried chilli & onion with chicken. We ate the lot & had a couple of Changs.

    A Hong Thong on the balcony finished off a very good day.

    Song of the Day: Today Is a Good Day by New Model Army.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 51 - Halle….Bloody…..lujah

    29 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    No sweating at all over night & still feeling normal. The cleaners will be pleased!

    At 9.10am, I dragged myself out of bed & popped out on the scooter to fill up with fuel. I didn’t quite fill it up to the level it was given to me, but I didn’t want to add an extra 50 Bahts worth. We’ll see if I get away with it. (I did).

    We had an iced coffee & I returned the scooter keys to Pat, then we sat out by the pool for a nice peaceful morning.

    Lunch consisted of a cold beer at Dubble Duke & Jackie had a fried squid salad, whilst I had a pad Thai. The food was good, but the location superb.

    We returned to our resort & relocated to the sun beds looking out over the beach. It was just as well because during the afternoon an enormous (20+) group of Russians checked in amongst them 8 boisterous young boys. They took over the pool area & we suspect they will do so now all the time they are here.

    That evening we went to dinner next door at Crystal, accompanied by the sound of a salsa class taking place behind us. I annoyingly still wasn’t feeling hungry, so Jackie ordered a chicken satay & a beer, whilst I made do with just a soda water. Maybe I’m not 100% ok just yet.

    That evening on the verandah over a Hong Thong we came to the mutual agreement that we were now sneakily starting to look forward to going home to some good old fashioned home comforts like a roast beef dinner, nice cup of tea & a biscuit etc.

    Song of the Day: Movin On by Paul Weller.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 50 - Back in the Game

    28 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    I had the night sweats or more accurately sleep sweats for a 4th night in a row, but because I hadn’t slept that much the bed was damp more than saturated. I did however feel perfectly fine.

    At 10am we popped down to reception to await the arrival of our scooter & to get an iced coffee. Pat had forgotten to order our scooter & hurriedly ordered one for us.

    We were on the road by 10.30am & heading to Thong Sala for some retail therapy. We spent the morning hunting around for souvenirs with limited success.

    For a bit of culture, we visited Wat Phu Khao Noi, one of the smallest temples in the country, but the oldest on Ko Phangan. The hill upon which it sits has been designated a historic site. Jackie was not sufficiently modestly dressed, so she guarded the scooter, whilst I wandered around & snapped away.

    We then stopped at Lotus for provisions, mainly alcohol & snacks & headed back towards the resort. We stopped at What’s Cup, a cafe for a bowl of smoothie & an Hawaiian sandwich which were excellent & with a pleasant vista.

    It was then back to our place for an afternoon around the pool & with no side effects from lunch. So that evening we went back out on the scooter & headed south. We found a Thai restaurant called Zak. I ordered chicken & cashew nuts, whilst Jackie showed Zak a photo on her phone of the dish she would like. It was spicy prawns with rice & egg on top. Zak said he could do that & by god could he. He returned with a virtual replica of the photo which was apparently very tasty. With my appetite restored, I ate all my dinner & even managed some snacks when we got home.

    I feel that I am now back to my normal self which is a blessed relief. The ultimate test will be whether I do or don’t have sleep sweats tonight.

    Song of the Day: Part Two - In My Own Way by Ray LaMontagne
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 49 - Noisy Bird & Not Jackie!

    27 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    I was still awake at 4am, without any indication that I would have the night sweats again. A short while later I must have fallen asleep & the next thing I knew was that I woke up at 8.30am again AND the whole of my side of the absolutely drenched again. This is a concern particularly to Jackie.

    I felt absolutely fine, so after Jackie did her best to air the bed, we popped down to Pat for breakfast. Prematurely we ordered cheese & tuna respectively baguettes & a portion of french fries. We struggled.

    After breakfast we made arrangements through Pat to get a ferry & minibus back to Phuket in 7 days time. It was going to mean a 4am taxi & a 5am ferry, which will be nice, but it was a good price & we may yet see our 1st sunset on this trip.

    The highlight of the morning was conversing with the resident resort Myna bird. It is an extremely noisy bugger who is already become a bit annoying. I shoved my phone towards him & filmed some of his repertoire. I then suggested Jackie try & touch him & she nearly lost her finger.

    He obviously wasn’t happy because the moment Jackie got up from her sun bed, he flew over & shat on it not once, but twice. He clearly did give two shits!

    We avoided having any beer for lunch & spent the day in & out of the sun around the pool & reading. Our plan was for an early sunset tea, then cards on the balcony.

    At 6pm, we went next door to Crystal & unbelievably I was still not hungry. We sat at a table on the beach, where I got well & truly attacked by mosquitoes (I splatted about 8), whilst Jackie didn’t get bitten once!

    Jackie ordered a chicken salad & a strawberry mojito, whilst I ordered just a soda water. I had 2 mouthfuls of Jackie’s salad which was more than enough for me.

    We returned to the cottage & just chilled on our balcony with Hong Thongs & bottles of water.

    That night when we went to bed we were surprised that the cleaners hadn’t swapped the bed linen on my side of the bed for a paddling pool. Jackie was also threatening to go to bed in her mask & snorkel. I knew they’d come in handy!

    Song of the Day: No Rest by New Model Army.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 48 - Almighty Night Sweats

    26 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    I had fallen asleep at 8.30pm the previous evening, leaving Jackie watching Netflix. Apparently Jackie had been monitoring my symptoms hourly & around 1am I had started to sweat profusely. She had tried to rouse me, but I was too drowsy to wake up. I did eventually wake up 12 hours later at 8.30am, but my side of the bed was literally sodden from top to bottom, including the pillows & the duvet. This was a worrying development, but on the upside I felt much better. Maybe I had sweated all the badness out!

    Feeling hungry we headed up the beach to Coral Beach Restaurant, where we had a superb breakfast. Jackie had avocado & poached eggs on toast, whilst I had mango & sticky rice. We then sunbathed around the pool. Lunch was just a solitary beer then more reading around the pool & listening to the soothing sounds of the Steve Ignorant Band - Live in Notts 2021.

    Over lunch I had marvelled that at Salad Beach every Scandinavian male sports a shit top knot haircut (Are they trying to imitate Zlatan?) & the Russian males just have shit haircuts!

    That evening, we returned to Dubble Duke, where I discovered I think that I’m all ‘beered’ out. I ordered a soda water! Unfortunately we didn’t enjoy our meal either. It didn’t help that I had lost my appetite again, but I had Arabiata spaghetti that was too spicy & garlic bread that was too garlicky & Jackie had Prawn Tom Yum soup that was too watery.

    A Hong Thong nightcap finished off the evening.

    Song of the Day: Sweaty Betty by The Macc Lads.
    Bata Motel by Steve Ignorant Band.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 47 - Highs & Lows

    25 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    Jackie tried to wake me at 2.30am to inform me that I was literally pouring with sweat. I could hardly wake up, but I felt trickles of sweat running off my body & head. I slept through to the alarm, whilst Jackie was apparently googling my new symptoms.

    I got a coffee from the German owner & Silly Ninny returned my passport in exchange for the scooter keys. We walked down to the pier & boarded the catamaran at 9am & got what we considered the prime seats on the top deck. At 9.30am sharp, the catamaran pulled out of Koh Tao.

    An hour and a quarter later after a calm crossing, we docked at Thong Sala on Ko Phangan. We never know what to expect, because each time the entry requirements are totally different. On this occasion we were met by 2 police officers with Go-Pros on their helmets who demanded to see our passports, they photographed them with their phones & then took a 2nd photo of each of us holding our passports.

    Jackie had emailed Salad Beach Resort to arrange a pick up, but she hadn’t received a reply & there was no one there to meet us, so we had to resort to using a taxi. We were told it would be 200 Baht each & we had to wait 5 minutes for another boat to come in. Other taxis were full, but it seems we were the only taxi heading north. The driver then told us that because it was just us we would have to pay an extra 100 Baht each, but if he picked up any passengers along the way he would refund the extra money. I advised him that I was extremely unhappy with a volley of choice expletives. He just smiled back at me like a grinning idiot.

    The taxi ride was sedate compared to our last ride, but unsurprisingly enough we didn’t pick up any other fares. Upon arrival at Salad Beach Resort, we were met with a heroes welcome. All the staff came over to welcome us back. Pat told us that our cottage 205 was ready and escorted us over to it. We had previously selected this cottage as being in the best position & Pat was giving it to us at a good discounted price as loyal customers.

    Our cottage is so lovely & fresh with a large bed with white sheets. The balcony is large with a view of the sea and the pool. We were both have high hopes for a relaxing last week & are so glad we had made the decision to return here.

    After unpacking, we took a walk along the beach for a couple of beers at Dubble Duke, before returning at Jackie’s request to Crystal for their toasted rye bread pastrami sandwich we had enjoyed so much last time. When it arrived it was with white bread & when I bit into it the pastrami & bacon were limp. It was just what I didn’t want or need. I removed the offending meat & ate basically a cheese sandwich. I checked the menu intending to complain, but there was no mention of type of bread or crispy bacon etc, so we were left high & dry on that score.

    We sat by the pool during the afternoon & my queasiness returned, as well as a headache from reading with the wrong strength glasses. Jackie left to get me a banana shake & returned to tell me she had seen a laptop in reception. I had also been tracking Swedish Julia all afternoon, because I had seen her using her ‘broken’ computer.

    At 5.30pm, I saw my chance to innocently ask Julia if her computer was fixed. It wasn’t, she could still only access ‘Teams’ on it. We then went to reception & I asked Pat about the laptop Jackie had seen. Apparently it was a laptop lent to the resort, so that they could play music into the restaurant. Pat said I could borrow the laptop but only after the restaurant closed for the night. I explained that I needed to firstly email a link to the computer.

    For the next 45 minutes it was like the blind leading the blind. The laptop was all in Thai & Pat had never sent an email before in her life, but we managed to eventually get the link on to her phone.

    She suggested we return at 7pm, but upon our arrival a group of Scandinavians with unruly kids had just sat down for dinner. We would have to wait, so we ordered dinner. Jackie ordered a lamb mok, a spicy lamb salad & a Chang, whilst I ordered a cheese baguette & a banana shake. I couldn’t face anything else.

    Around 8pm, Pat brought the laptop over & she sent her very 1st email. After several attempts the link appeared on the laptop - hallelujah. I clicked on the laptop & it whirred round, before telling me it couldn’t open it. I tried several more times with the same result. It would seem that the link can’t be opened from Thailand!

    It was definitely a day of highs & lows, unfortunately more lows than highs!

    Song of the Day: High Hopes by Pink Floyd.
    High & Dry by Radiohead.
    Low by REM.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 46 - My Nurse Diagnoses Pneumonia

    24 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ☀️ 22 °C

    Woke up at 2.30am absolutely freezing & shivering under the duvet. I thought the air-con unit had gone haywire. Jackie work up with clothes discarded & announced she was boiling hot. I put on my fleece, got back into bed & went back to sleep again.

    At 5.30am we both woke up again & Jackie informed me that my head, chest & back were on fire, but I felt just comfortable. Nurse Jackie then conducted a rigorous interrogation of my symptoms which included an aching body. She made me check my heart rate numerous times & take an ECG. All came back fairly normal, so she then trawled through the internet & after considering several illnesses, she settled on pneumonia.

    We got back to sleep again around 7am & slept for almost 2 hours by which time I felt much better & so we ordered a omelette with our coffee from Silly Ninny. When they came they looked horrific, the fried tomato, onion & mushroom omelettes were huge & to top it off they both had 3 sheets of processed cheese melted over the top. It didn’t actually taste too bad, but it was way to greasy. The decision to order an omelette was a massive mistake. I wanted to take a photo of it but Silly Ninny wouldn’t stop watching us eat.

    We returned to the room & I was soon running to the toilet. Enough said!

    We are now of the opinion that my body has overdosed on fried food & is rejecting it. We also think our aching bodies are down to our swimming exertions the day before.

    After settling the stomach we picked up a couple of bags of fruit, mango & pineapple for a healthy lunch & a couple of Changs & a bottle of water. Probably all a bit to late now!

    Belatedly, we headed back to Freedom Beach for a day on their deckchairs. I couldn’t face a beer at lunch & I was grateful that they did have very nice toilets, because I needed them on 3 occasions. Apart from wallowing in the sea, we did nothing. We had a break from snorkelling.

    That evening I was still feeling dicky, but Jackie was keen to have the same Massaman curry I had had on the first night. We ordered just one curry & rice, with one large Leo & a bottle of water. Apart from 2 mouthfuls of sauce & rice I couldn’t face anymore, but I did managed to drink the beer & water, so we had a 2nd Leo.

    I had promised myself a Nutella & banana pancake, so we walked down to the pier & ordered one just for me. Jackie ate a third of it.

    Back at our room over a nightcap, I managed to access the Diamond Tour photos for the day we were with them. There were 134 photos, but none featured us, generally they were of the same few show offs who didn’t wear a life jacket. I managed to Airdrop a couple to my iPad (not such a technophobe after all!)

    Song of the Day: Fever by Daniel Ash.
    Shiver And Shake by Ryan Adams.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 45 - No Sharks in Shark Bay

    23 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ 🌧 25 °C

    Woke up with it absolutely pouring with rain, just the perfect weather for a boat trip! We packed our bags including our rain macs.

    We had just a coffee for breakfast, during which we had some entertainment, when another guest was enquiring about getting a taxi to a beach. The German owner told him that they were very expensive & he should hire a scooter. The guest told him that he couldn’t ride a scooter & instead he would walk to Sairee Beach. The guest then got up from the table & we saw that to our shock he had one of those old fashioned black boots, that had a built up sole at least 9” high. Good luck with that walk!

    At 9.40am we were picked up by taxi & driven 300 metres to Diamond Tours. We waited nearly 30 minutes before everyone had arrived & then we walked down to the pier to board the boat.

    The first stop was the islands of Koh Nang Yuan, which were 3 islands connected by sand spits. These islands were yet another National Park requiring an entrance fee of 200 baht each. We were told that we could not snorkel here, but we should climb up to the viewpoint. We did, but unfortunately we were at the back of the other trippers from our boat & when we got to near the top we were stuck in a log jam, whilst some Thai tourists took seemingly hundreds of photos of each other before moving on. We had to wait for what seemed like ages, before we took a few snaps & headed down. After wandering around the whole island we still had 30 minutes to kill so Jackie insisted on buying 2 very expensive small Changs.

    Back on the boat we were provided with lunch, spicy chicken, rice & a fried egg. I was still feeling a bit queasy & couldn’t face it, but made do with lots of watermelon & pineapple.

    We then chugged to literally about 50 yards from Koh Nang Yuan dock & were told we would now be stopping for 40 minutes for snorkelling. The crew insisted we wore life jackets which were an absolute revelation, We had always viewed them as being for wimps, but they made snorkelling so much easier.

    We both snorkelled in the clear calm waters & apart from the usual fish, it was good to see some bright coloured coral. I stayed out for the full 40 minutes.

    We then stopped off Mango Bay & Aow Leuk, each for 40 minutes, before to what promised to be the highlight, Shark Bay & it’s Black-Tip sharks. We dropped anchor & then Jackie & I set off in search of sharks in the slightly murky waters. Unfortunately we didn’t & nor did anyone else find a shark, but we did find 3 large green sea turtles. One was enormous, 4 foot in length & had 2 remora, also known as sucker fish accompanying it.

    After Jackie had seen the turtles, she returned to the boat, but I continued swimming around searching for those elusive sharks. At one point I had the fright of my life when I turned round to see a large turtle swimming just under the surface & almost bump into my leg. I desperately tried to turn my camera on as I watched him swim away. I tried to chase after him, but I couldn’t catch up.

    It was then that I realised that I was out in the bay on my own. I looked back at our boat in the distance & saw Jackie frantically waving for me to return. Keen not to hold the boat up, I swam front crawl back to the boat, which was definitely not easy with a life jacket, mask and my snorkel flapping around my head!

    We completed the clockwise circumnavigation of the island at 5.20pm. It had been an excellent boat trip all for just 500 Baht, about £12 each. Hopefully we will have some decent photos of the turtle sent to us taken by a crew member.

    We were absolutely knackered having snorkelled for nearly 3 hours & stopped for a couple of well earned Changs on the way home.

    That evening, we rode over to Sairee Beach & had dinner at the Blue Water Cafe. Jackie ordered the house burger & I ordered beef taco. Jackie’s burger was nice but the rest was pretty disappointing because it was cold. We were too hungry & tired to complain.

    Song of the Day: Island in the Rain by The Men They Couldn’t Hang.
    Ghost of a Shark by Tom McRae.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 44 - Freedom Beach

    22 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    Woke up at silly o’clock & went to breakfast at 9.30am. We stuck to our plan & had just a coffee instead of the full American. The owner was in the breakfast room & he was in quite a jovial mood relating amusing stories of the ridiculous Thai bureaucracy particularly in these Covid Times.

    After coffee we rode down to Ko Tao pier & booked our return catamaran tickets back to Ko Phangan for Tuesday, then we booked a snorkelling boat trip for Sunday. The beauty of being out in Thailand at this time is everyone is fighting for you business. The boat trip was normally 850 Baht, but at the moment it is just 500 Baht per person.

    We celebrated our bargain with a baguette from Da’s Sandwiches, which we noticed had a steady stream of customers. I ordered a best seller - a chicken, bacon & cheese baguette, whilst Jackie ordered a healthy chicken & salad baguette. What we didn’t realise was that it would each contain huge slab of chicken which was breadcrumbed & fried. Once several rashers of bacon, cheese slices & salad & mayo were added, mine was enormous & Jackie’s not much smaller.

    We drove to Sainuan Beach & tried to eat half of our respective baguettes. We couldn’t, they were way to greasy & the chicken was over fried. Absolutely gutted. Feeling rather queasy, we drove to a 7-11, ditched the remainder of our baguettes & bought a large bottle of water & a pineapple pastry to try & cleanse our greasy mouths.

    Our first proper stop was Sharks Bay, where we walked through a resort to the waterfront. We water was quite rough, which made Jackie nervous for tomorrow, because we were returning by boat.

    Next stop was Freedom Beach. We paid our 50 baht entrance fee which we felt rather aggrieved about, but that soon changed when we clapped our eyes on Freedom Beach. It was very picturesque with a row of bushy trees growing along the water’s edge. We helped ourselves to two free deckchairs & settled in for the rest of the day.

    I apprehensively tried out the new cheap ‘n’ nasty masks & snorkels & I was pleasantly surprised, they worked an absolute treat. No leakage at all. I had at least 5 snorkelling sessions & Jackie had a couple, where we saw some quite big Gar fish & a number of other species, but nothing spectacular.

    At lunch we visited the restaurant for a couple of overpriced small cans of beer, but the view made up for it. We remained at the beach until 5pm, when we started to head for home. I convinced Jackie that we must climb up to John Suwan Viewpoint.

    The climb started to get steeper & steeper clambering over big boulders & just a thick rope to cling on to. It wasn’t designed for flip flops, so Jackie abandoned half way up & I continued in my more appropriate adventure sandals. I arrived at the top puffing & panting only to discover their were 6 other people already up there. I took a few photos of the lovely view & skipped back down to Jackie like a mountain goat.

    That night we stayed local & ate in Yangs Thaifood Restaurant. The owner was a right miserable bugger, but the food was good & probably the cheapest yet. Funnily enough it was frequented by a lot of farangs.

    Song of the Day: Freedom by Christine & The Queens.
    Beach by Something Happens!
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 43 - Like A Bat Out Of Hell

    21 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ☀️ 28 °C

    We had a decent nights sleep & I had to drag myself out of bed at 8.40am, when scooter rental man came knocking on our door. I signed my life away & was given the keys to an orange 125cc scooter.

    We got ourselves ready & went to the breakfast room for our ‘superb’ breakfast. Silly Ninny gave us a coffee & then disappeared without asking what we wanted. I had to find her to tell her I didn’t eat fried eggs. She later returned with 2 American breakfasts with scrambled eggs that were definitely not superb. At the time of writing we will probably just have coffee in future!

    The German owner, Tom, made an appearance with a baguette, which he had bought from somewhere else which probably told us all we needed to know about our free breakfast. Whilst he was present & knowing that he owned a personal laptop, I innocently enquired with him if he knew of anywhere where I could borrow (or rent) a laptop or computer for a few hours. His reply was “Impossible “. Thanks for your help mate!

    After breakfast, we hit the road on our new scooter like a ‘Bat Out Of Hell’. We zoomed over to Sairee Beach to find Bo. We walked up & down the promenade & eventually found Sairee Beach Cabana. We enquired about Longtail boat trips around the island & we were given a price of 2,300 baht, about £60. I asked if Bo was still working & the receptionist didn’t really understand what I was talking about. We did try!

    We then embarked on a tour of every beach that we could reach on our scooter. Our first planned stop was Mango Beach, but we soon discovered that it required riding for quite a few miles down a rough dirt track. We bottled it on the basis that we had suffered one flat tyre already on this trip. Instead we continued to Hin Wong Bay, which took us down an incredibly steep road to a little car park. There was a 20 Baht charge to leave our scooter, but in exchange the lady gave us a small bottle of water. The beach was quite nice & there were free beds if you were a customer at the restaurant. The sea was very choppy, but we decided it was probably worth a return visit.

    We then headed towards the south of the island & completed a comprehensive tour of all the reachable beaches in an anti-clockwise direction. We started at Tanote Bay, a wide sandy beach with a huge rock in the bay & then Lang Khaai Bay, which was down a 600 metre track & the abandoned & derelict Yang Bungalows. Next was Aow Leuk Bay, where a road sign as we came away from the beach warned that only one person was to be on a motorbike going back up the extremely steep hill. I chanced it with Jackie on the back (see the 1st photo) & we actually made it. It the bike had come to a standstill we would have been in trouble!

    It was then Sai Daeng Beach, which had 2 hotels including Coral Beach Resort. We were seriously considering booking our stay on Koh Tao at Coral Beach Resort, but we are so glad we didn’t, because it was in the middle of nowhere & it looked like no one was staying there. From there we went to Thian Og Bay & parked up & walked through the posh, but also virtually empty Jamahkiri Resort & Spa, which had a stunning view over Shark Bay. We didn’t go down to the beach, but rode to Freedom Beach, where they wanted 50 Baht entrance fee. We decided to save that for another day & so we head back into town.

    We had to make an emergency toilet stop at our Miracle Guesthouse suite, then we drove down to Ko Tao pier for some urgently required refreshment. We parked up & selected Bro & Sis Restaurant & Bar which looked out over the bustling Ko Tao Pier & bay. Over the next hour or so we shared a.couple of large Changs & watched the world go by.

    Around 4pm we headed over to Sairee Beach to purchase the cheapest, nastiest sets of mask & snorkel that we could find. 250 Baht (about a fiver) each bought us a dodgy snorkel & mask.

    To celebrate our bargain purchases, we popped in to Blue Water Cafe to take advantage of their happy hour. We ordered a ginger mojito & a bamboo cocktail with a plate of cheesy chips & basked in the late afternoon sun. It was bliss, so we ordered a second round of cocktails, I had a gin ‘n’ jam, whilst Jackie had a pineapple margarita.

    Being responsible, after just 2 lovely cocktails, we sadly had to pay up & rode back home on the scooter. Back at the suite, we learnt the sad news that Michael Lee Aday had died at the age of just 74. Whilst getting ready, we played our own musical tribute to Meatloaf.

    We went out for a walk around town that evening & went back to the same restaurant that we dined in last night. We had a Pad Thai, a chicken & cashew nuts & a large beer that cost just a fiver.

    We picked up a new bottle of Hong Thong & coke & returned to our suite for an early night.

    Song of the Day: Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf.
    For Crying Out Loud by Meatloaf. (One of Wedding 1st Dance Songs).
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 42 - Slow Down You Mad Bastard

    20 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 23 °C

    Woke up at 5.30am to a tremendous downpour & saw that our drying sarongs & a few clothes which we were due to pack, were saturated on the balcony. My mood was improved when I checked the sports news & discovered that United had thrashed Brentford 3-1. My mood then dipped again, when I went to the bathroom, caught my reflection in the mirror & saw that I had a big bald patch above my right ear. It looks like I now have alopechia!

    We spent the morning packing the clothes we needed for our holiday to Koh Tao into one rucksack & what we didn’t into the other. At 10.45am, we took all our luggage down to reception & had a breakfast of cheese baguettes, iced coffee & a mango shake.

    At 11.50am the waiter informed us that our taxi had arrived. We left Pat with half our luggage & boarded our taxi van. It was the most terrifying ride of our lives. The driver drove like an absolute lunatic, way to fast for the road conditions. It was like being on a rollercoaster as the taxi swung violently left & right around corners & up & down steep gradients. Unlike a rollercoaster, we weren’t strapped in & we had to cling to the roll bar & hang on for dear life. Jackie admitted the taxi ride actually frightened her.

    Funnily enough, we arrived at the pier earlier than expected & after collecting our tickets, we waited under an awning whilst being serenaded by a one man band. When our catamaran arrived we immediately spotted the British chavs up on deck, he stripped to the waist & her sporting a homemade boob tube to show off the tattoos. Typically we ended sitting immediately behind them & they actually turned out to be alright & we swapped travel tips.

    Upon arrival at Koh Tao, just over an hour, later we disembarked on to the pier & we were required to produce an array of documentation that the immigration girl clearly had no idea what she was looking at, but eventually just waved us through anyway.

    Once on terra firma we walked up the road from the pier & about 400 metres later we located our budget accommodation, The Miracle Guesthouse & Diving. No one was around when we arrived, but after 5 minutes a young lady arrived by scooter & introduced herself to us as (Silly) Ninny. She was a bubbly excitable lady who told us she was the Yemen.

    Silly Ninny showed us to our room, that was an upgrade on what we booked. Apparently it had just been refurbished & eventually even Jackie agreed that it suited our purposes perfectly. Instead of a balcony, we had a lounge.

    I enquired with Silly Ninny about the possibility of hiring a scooter & before I knew it, ‘her friend’ arrived with a 125cc scooter just 10 minutes later. I told him that I didn’t actually want it until the morning & he seemed a bit upset, but we agreed that he should return at 9am. He left in a huff.

    Jackie & I then went out for an explore & to visit Sairee Beach, but we got caught up in a downpour & abandoned that idea. Instead we found a sandwich restaurant & supped a few beers, whilst the divers returned from their trips.

    After a shower we had a stroll around & ended up choosing a restaurant less than 50 yards from our Guesthouse. It was busy with divers & I noted that everyone in the restaurant was only drinking the free water. We got a large Chang out of the fridge & ordered crispy pork with kale & a Massaman chicken curry. It was absolutely superb & cost less than £6. I felt obliged to give them a healthy tip.

    We stopped at a Rasta Bar for a nightcap on the way home. We ended up sharing a large Leo & calling it a night. Back at the guesthouse, we struggled to open the door until eventually we realised that we were trying to open the wrong door.

    Song of the Day: Fast & Frightening by L7.
    Slow It Down by The Lumineers.
    Slow Down by Wire Train.
    Mad Man Blues by George Thorogood & The Destroyers.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 41 - Sod Ukraine What About Thailand

    19 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 27 °C

    Woke up to discover that I had an email from the vetting people to say my Apple IPad may actually be suitable to complete my vetting questionnaire. Oh god, here we go again!!

    The first thing I had to do was cut & paste a link into Google to open up a portal. I failed at the first hurdle the WiFi in our room was not strong enough to upload the portal. I spent the next hour walking around the resort trying over & over again to upload the link without a glimmer of success. Totally f¥cked off, I resorted to begging a friend who has gone through the process to try & upload it for me in the UK.

    We had a liquid breakfast, Jackie had an iced coffee & I had a fresh mango shake. During breakfast, Swedish Julia found me & informed me that her computer is totally knackered & she cannot now work for the next 2 months until they go home. We are all being held hostage by technology!

    After breakfast we returned to our sun beds & read our paperback books. We are now fighting off Russians from all sides as they grow in numbers around Salad Beach. The point couldn’t have been emphasised any better than a Russian girl who at lunch was wearing a Russian army hat & just a skimpy bikini. Are they planning an invasion here as well?

    We had a relatively early lunch at Crystal next door & to mark our last lunch on Ko Phangan for a while, we ‘splashed out’ on a sandwich & french fries to share. The sandwich was onion confit, bacon, cheddar cheese & homemade pastrami, all in rye bread. It was absolutely gorgeous. Just 2 small beers accompanied it.

    Apart from the odd stroll along the beach we did nothing during the afternoon & ended it with a sundowner. Against my better judgement, we had a quick Hong Thong, then Jackie attacked my Pompadour with my beard trimmers on the balcony. I am now too scared to look in the mirror!

    After another Hong Thong we went out for dinner at Salad Hut, which Swedish Dad had recommended for it’s pizzas. When we arrived, the annoyingly loud Russian family were just leaving & it left us as the only diners. Not necessarily a good sign.

    We ordered a chicken satay starter followed by a margarita pizza with extra ham & garlic. The chicken was plentiful, but a bit chewy & the satay was not to my taste. The pizza then arrived & we knew we had made a mistake. Effectively it was a frozen pizza heated up in the oven & at some point ham slices & raw garlic slices were dropped on it. It was the second disappointing meal we had had in a row.

    We paid up & drowned our disappointment with Hong Thongs & a packet of 10 baht jammy dodgers. Just saying again! After a couple of Hong Thongs, Jackie felt the need to attack my Pompadour again, but now with a pair of nail scissors. My best white grandad shirt was covered in clumps of grey hair & blood. I’m never looking in a mirror again!

    Thank you Alka for getting me registered on the portal. Infuriatingly, I still can’t access the portal with the resort WiFi. Hopefully I’ll have better luck at our next stop!

    Song of the Day: Russians by Sting.
    Dominion / Mother Russia by Sisters of Mercy.
    The Best by Tina Turner.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 40 - No Techno to Technophobe

    18 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    At 8.30am, the alarm sounded & I rushed down to our sun beds to put our towels out. I was particularly nervous, because I could hear the noisy Russian family up & having breakfast. They were still free, phew.

    Once ensconced on my sun bed, I checked my emails & saw to my horror another request for the completion of a vetting form for a different job. Happily I had all the information I needed available & I was able to complete this vetting form on my IPad without leaving my sun bed. I was quite impressed with myself.

    Over breakfast of poached eggs & French toast with iced coffees, Jackie & I looked at accessing our emails through the Sky website on the internet. Try as we might, every time we tried to sign in we were denied access. After lots & lots of googling, we established that it was something to do with our IP address & we needed to contact Sky through their website that we couldn’t access. We went round & round in technophobic circles for the remainder of the morning.

    In the end we’d lost the will to live, so gave up & had lunch on our balcony, 2 cans of beer & some peanuts, whilst the IPads were recharged. The afternoon consisted of reading our good old fashioned paperback books back on the sun beds.

    The Swedish lady didn’t make contact with me during the day & I didn’t bother to hunt her down, because I needed access to my emails on her computer to get started. I’ve conceded defeat. The vetting forms will just have to wait until I get home.

    Just after 5pm, we had a few drops of rain, so we ran for shelter to our balcony. We then had a disagreement over accommodation in Koh Tao, Jackie was dithering, so I took charge & booked The Miracle Guesthouse & Dive, which had an excellent 9.2 rating on Booking.com & cost just £95 for 5 nights. Jackie accused me of only picking it because it included a superb breakfast. I took offence when she tried to make me promise not to have a Full American breakfast every day!

    That evening we returned to Salad Villa Restaurant, the restaurant on the beach for some barbecue food. I ordered a chicken skewer & Jackie chose a whole squid to accompany a large corn on the cob each. The restaurant was really busy which was possibly detrimental to the food because neither of us were particularly impressed with our dinner. Jackie’s squid was over cooked & very chewy, whilst there were more onion & peppers than chicken on my skewer. Still it was cheap & a lovely setting with the green lighted fishing boats out in the bay

    Song of the Day: Computer by Toyah.
    No Surprises by Radiohead.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 39 - The Oldest Swingers NOT in Town

    17 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 25 °C

    The alarm was set for 8.30am & at 9am, I was laying out towels & sarongs on OUR sun beds. I then went into the restaurant to write up my blog & wait for Jackie. I returned the bike key which was collected without incident.

    We had an iced coffee & returned to our sun beds to find a Russian girl had moved her sun bed to within 2” of mine so she could also share the sunshine. I moved my bed a couple of inches away from her while she pretended to be asleep.

    We sunbathed all morning & noticed that all the Russian women around us resembled floor mops, a big head of hair & stick thin bodies, unlike us. We headed to Dubble Duke for lunch for a cheap beer. Jackie had a fried squid salad, whilst I had an Indian chicken curry.

    The afternoon was much of the same, but there were noticeably more young children around, mainly Russian. If that wasn’t bad enough, the Russian families all talk so incredibly loudly & I struggled to concentrate on reading my book.

    Sunset was a cracker that evening & warranted a couple of photos. Around the same time I also checked my emails & felt obliged to make more of an effort to complete a vetting form that had been sent to me that couldn’t be opened & completed on any Apple products or phones or tablets.

    With new determination, I popped down to reception to enquire with Pat if she had a computer or laptop I could borrow. She didn’t. She even rang another hotel, but they couldn’t help. I then knocked on Mandi & Jude, who had an Apple laptop that they were happy to lend me & Jude downloaded Google Chrome on to it for me. I took it away then had a touch of the seconds, because they were leaving the following morning. Mandi then introduced me to a Swedish family who had been staying at the resort for the last month, which ultimately resulted in the mum, Julia, agreeing to lend me her currently not working non Apple work laptop once IT had remotely fixed it. Hopefully this will be the following day.

    After all this running around, l relaxed with a chilled white wine on our balcony & we watched the full moon make it’s first appearance over a mountain. We tried to take photos of it, but it didn’t like it.

    We returned to the restaurant on the beach, where I ordered for both of us, a large Chang, a starter of No Name (vegetable tempura) & a Pad Thai. The waiter then turned to Jackie & asked what she would like. He was incredulous that we were sharing. He obviously thought that I looked like a greedy bastard!!

    After we’d finished dinner, we discovered that there was hardly anyone about & certainly no raving going on. We were definitely in the wrong place at the right time!

    We finished the evening with a quick nightcap on the balcony.

    Song of the Day: The Oldest Swinger in Town by Foster & Allen.
    Full Moon by The Kinks.
    Wrong Place, Right Time - No 2 by The Fall.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 38 - Message in a Bottle Beach

    16 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 25 °C

    We both slept for over 10 and a half hours straight. I belatedly wrote up my blog & realised that we had failed to visit Bottle Beach the previous day. Disaster, especially when I discovered that to get to it by road was 18 miles away & yesterday we had been within 2 miles of it.

    We had an iced coffee for breakfast & the resort was noticeably busier, so Jackie negotiated with Pat to rent a ‘superior’ bungalow for 8 days when we returned from Koh Tao at a discounted rate. Nice work Jackie.

    It was gone 11am before we were back on the road again. We headed north to Chaloklum Beach where we found what appeared to be a number of nice waterfront restaurants & decided we would return that evening for dinner.

    We then followed a road up a high headland until we reached a car park full of scooters. We weren’t sure why or where everyone was, but a young lad informed us it was possible to walk from here to Bottle Beach. It would take at least an hour & the path was through jungle & up over a mountain. We decided against it on the grounds that we didn’t have any water with us. Just so we didn’t feel entirely lazy, we embarked on a 200 metre climb to a viewpoint looking down on Khom Beach, which was bloody knackering.

    We then drove the now 17 miles around the island to Bottle Beach. We found the correct turning off the main road, which for the next 2 miles took us along a bumpy dirt road until we reached a sign that read that only 4x4 vehicles were allowed to continue. We therefore parked up our bike with several others & continued on foot.

    For the next 500 metres (I measured it) we slipped & slid down the very steep loose gritted track. I effectively ‘snowploughed’ down in my adventure sandals. Our relief at reaching the bottom was short-lived when a couple coming the other way informed us we still had another 3/4 of a mile to go. This last leg was actually a pleasant undulating walk through coconut trees & the occasional sighting of a monkey.

    Dripping wet, we arrived at the very scenic Bottle Beach & made straight to the bar/restaurant for a much needed beer & food. Jackie had a Niçoise salad & I had spaghetti carbonara. It was all very pleasant apart from the flies attracted to our sweaty bodies. We noted that beach front huts with a fan could be rented for just £9 per night. We decided that we would stick to our aircon, but visit the beach again, but next time by taxi boat.

    After lunch we had a swim in the sea and wrote a message (in the sand) on Bottle Beach. I took photos of the message & Jackie, then I asked Jackie to take a photo of me with the message. Somehow she managed to adjust the camera settings from automatic to manual focus (As can be seen in the subsequent photo).

    We then steeled ourselves for the trudge back to our scooter. It took us half an hour of serious toil to complete the journey, particularly for the ridiculously steep last bit. At least we could now cool off with the air rushing past us on the scooter!

    We had gone no further than a couple of 100 yards when the rear wheel started to have a life of it’s own. My fears were realised when I looked down to see we had a flat rear tyre. Brilliant, on a Sunday, in the middle of nowhere & with absolutely no-one around.

    We had no choice but for Jackie to get off & walk, whilst I rode on ahead & turned left to find somewhere to get it fixed. I then crawled along the dirt track leaning over the handlebars to preserve the rear tyre. Luckily you are never too far away from a scooter repair shop in Thailand & less than 2 miles from where I left Jackie I found such a repair shop.

    The young mechanic undid the exhaust pipe to remove the wheel, then he replaced the inner tube & put it all back together again in about 30 minutes, by which time Jackie with her helmet in hand had caught me up. It would seem that a small sharp stone had caused the puncture & the cost of the repair & new inner tube, just 200 Baht. Less than a fiver, bargain.

    The afternoon was now pushing on so we rode back to Ban Tai & stopped at Lotus for more provisions, booze, mixers & a token bag of grapes. Opposite Lotus we found a shoe shop & we each bought a pair of Crocs to wear between the house & The Lemonery, for just 100 Baht a pair. Well we have to keep up with the Joneses (Clarkes & Rushes)!

    Pleased with our latest bargains, we sped north through the island back to Chaloklum Beach, but not before we had been waved through the police road block set up in exactly the same place as the previous night. At Chalokhum Beach we narrowed down our 2 favoured restaurants & chose the right hand one. It was the wrong one, next door was bustling with diners, so we had a quick relaxing beer on their empty waterfront tables, paid up & went next door to Cucina Italiano.

    In Cucina Italiano we ordered Italian food, Jackie had penne with ragu sauce & I had gnocchi with my favourite carbonara sauce, which didn’t really work & a garlic bread. It was very nice & warrants another visit.

    It was then a cold scooter ride home, where we ended the night with a nice hot shower & the remaining episodes of Afterlife.

    Song of the Day: Message in a Bottle by The Police.
    Nostalgie by Viken Arman.
    Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 37 - Right Place, Wrong Time

    15 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 25 °C

    After another decent sleep we went down to reception at 9am for a much needed breakfast before our scooter arrived at 9.30. The timing couldn’t have been better, because as soon as the scooter arrived and I was required to complete the paperwork & go & check the scooter for damage etc, our breakfast of eggs on toast were going the other way to our table. By the time I returned to breakfast, Jackie had finished her poached eggs & my scrambled eggs were just lukewarm. Not the start I had been hoping for!

    Our trip commenced by heading south to (not so) Secret Beach followed by Yao Beach. The tide was high so we couldn’t see the beaches at their best, but we decided they didn’t match up to our Salad Beach. On their plus side, they certainly had more eating options within walking distance of the beaches.

    We stopped fleetingly at several other beaches, including Ao Chao pao, before driving through the busy centre of Thong Sala. After stopping at a pharmacy for a couple of bits, we stopped at a 7-11 store for some snacks for our room. I bought several packets of Dewberry jammy dodgers at just 10 Baht each. Just saying!

    The roads on Ko Phangan are very hilly & steep with lots of potholes, which makes riding a scooter extremely treacherous, particularly when at the bottom of each slope you have to drive through what can only be described as a sandpit. Understandably there are frequent scooter accidents resulting in the loss of skin on limbs which is known as a ‘Ko Phangan tattoo’. We have seen plenty of evidence of this with many people walking around with bandaged limbs, including one poor sod who had all 4 limbs & his chin bandaged! For these reasons, it is the law to wear a crash helmet & I had read that it is strictly enforced by the local police.

    The roads from Thong Sala to the south of the island were the trickiest to navigate, due to large cracks & potholes in the road, but we arrived safely at Hat Rin Nok Beach, better known as the famous Full Moon Party Beach. The next Full Moon Party is scheduled for two days time on Monday 17th January. We parked up & walked most of the length of the beach. Despite being deemed to be a beautiful beach it didn’t particularly do much for either of us. The beach front resorts were a mixture of nice to damn right awful & the town behind it was run down & soulless.

    We didn’t stay long & instead rode back to Ban Tai, just south of Thong Sala, then headed into the mountainous jungly heart of the island. This provided an exhilarating ride which took us to Than Sadet-Ko Pha-Ngan National Park, where we were forced to pay 100 Baht each entry fee. The road took us down to Hat Sadet Beach, which is highly rated in my guidebook. The beach was very pleasing on the eye with large boulders at either end & large waves crashing on to the beach. On the downside, the beach faced east & the tall palm trees behind the beach were shading it from the sun. After a quick beer in the beach restaurant, we sat on the beach for 30 minutes in a small sunny spot & snacked.

    As were were helmeting up back at the scooter, two wild boar sauntered past, but true to form they had virtually disappeared before I could lay my hands on the camera.

    We rode back up the road & parked up to walk a 100 metres to a waterfall. Halfway along the rocky path, we decided to stop because we could see in the distance that the waterfall didn’t look that impressive & there were Thai families & kids playing in & around it. Instead I leapt from rock to rock over a couple of raging torrents (streams) to get a better photo of it, when to my amazement a stark naked western man & woman emerged from the water where the kids were playing & started drying off on the rocks. I’m not a prude but that was seriously taking the piss in a country where even topless sunbathing is seriously frowned upon.

    We continued up the east coast to Thong Nai Pan Yai Beach, then to Thong Nai Pan Noi Beach, which was decidedly more upmarket. We parked our scooter up alongside Anantara Rasananda Koh Phangan Villas & walked to the beach. As we did so I became aware of a security guard blatantly watching our every move. We walked up & down the beach & declared it the best beach we had visited today, but it also suffered with the afternoon sun disappearing behind the palm trees. I later checked the starting cost to stay in a room at Anantara with a sea view which turned out to be £494 per night.

    Still under the scrutiny of the security guard, we left the beach & headed home. We passed an afternoon rave in the jungle north of Thong Sala, then we stopped at a Lotus (Tesco) store to buy masks & snorkels but 30 minutes later emerged with enough wine & Hong Thong to sink a battleship. We passed another pool party rave with lots of bright red, pissed-up kids & we made up our mind there & then that we wouldn’t bother with the Full Moon Party.

    Heading home we chanced upon a Police roadblock & they were stopping everyone, presumably to fine them for not having a crash helmet or a face mask or both. At least 8 people had been detained at the side of the road, but after we had stopped we were waved on. It felt good & justified us wearing our uncomfortable helmets all day.

    We rode to KC Kitchens, a roadside restaurant we had spotted when we first returned arrived on Ko Phangan, because it was heaving with diners mid-afternoon. It was rough & ready, but the food was fantastic & plenty of it. I had a pineapple curry with chicken & rice, whilst Jackie ordered a crispy pork dish. We had also ordered a starter of spring rolls which arrived after the main course & we struggled, but managed to eat.

    After being out & about for around 11 hours, the evening ended with a much needed shower, several large glasses of passable white wine & 2 more episodes of Afterlife.

    Song of the Day: Right Place, Wrong Time by The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion.
    Karma Police by Radiohead.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 36 - A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

    14 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ☀️ 31 °C

    This morning we nearly got caught out when we saw people loitering near OUR sun beds. I managed to get our towels down whilst others dithered.

    To spice up our morning we ordered a couple of iced coffees from our very nice receptionist/manager, who we now know to be called Pat. Jackie enquired about extending our stay in our room for an additional 4 days & Pat gave us very favourable rates so that was a done deal.

    During the morning I bought a couple of lovely coconuts from Pat’s bunch she had for sale. Jackie & I then discussed our itinerary for the coming weeks in Thailand & came up with a plan. We would stay here at Salad Beach on Ko Phangan for a total of 8 days, then go to Koh Tao for 5 nights, then spend another 8 nights, probably back at Salad Beach for another 8 days before heading to Phuket and home. We would prefer our stay could go on & on!

    We also got chatting with Mandi, who has been staying at our resort since the beginning of December with her 19 year old son, Jude. Mandi is English who is now a self employed working with old people, but has spent most of her adult life travelling, mainly around Asia. She is an interesting character, but also quite a chatterer.

    Lunch was back at Dubble Duke for a couple of cheap beers. I had stir fried mushrooms with chicken & rice, whilst Jackie had a bowl of french fries.

    After lunch, we borrowed our new friend’s lilo & took it out to sea for a relaxing float. It seemed to have developed a couple of punctures whilst it was in our possession & so we blew it up & returned it as good as new………for a few minutes.

    Mandi got her own back, when she asked if I had any books she could read as she had read every English novel in the whole of Salad Beach. I generously gave up my book I was currently reading, but quite frankly not really enjoying. She did give me a DCI Banks book in exchange.

    That evening we returned to Spicy Salad for another romantic meal. Jackie & I ordered dishes that I cannot recall the names of. Jackie had a pork & rice dish, whilst I had a chicken noodle curry from northern Thailand. Both were very tasty, but the portions were too small for us. We left the restaurant certainly less than full & we didn’t have any food back in the room.

    We compensated with a couple of Hong Thongs whilst watching the 1st two episodes of the excellent Afterlife series 3 on Netflix.

    I also fixed the malfunctioning flash on my camera.Apparently the flash doesn’t work in silent mode, which I had switched it to for my covert photos. The result of all this means that I didn’t get any pictures of Jackie eating!!

    Song of the Day: On & On by Longpigs.
    Afterlife by Nothing But Thieves.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 35 - Sun, Sea, Sand & Cheap Beer

    13 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 27 °C

    This will be short & sweet.

    By 9.30am we were up & laying our towels out on the sun beds in the prime spot facing out to sea with guaranteed sunshine all day.

    Apart from the odd stroll up & down the beach & the occasional dip in the sea we did nothing other than sit on our sun beds & watched the beach comings & goings.

    Lunch was scheduled for 1pm, but hunger got the better of us & we arrived at Dubble Duke 10 minutes early. We chose this restaurant, because it advertised an all day happy hour & true to their word I was pleased to discover a large Chang was just 90 Baht (Further down the beach it was 80 Baht for a small beer). Jackie had a happy hour Pad Thai & I had a spaghetti carbonara. It was a decent cheap lunch.

    We returned to our sun beds after lunch & repeated the activities of the morning. We stayed out until sunset finishing with a beer in Dubble Duke, then a couple of beers in Crystal restaurant bar. We accidentally only got charged for one beer each in Crystal, which was a result!

    That evening we went to Salad Villa Restaurant where they had tables set up on the beach & a BBQ on the go. Jackie picked her whole red snapper which was put on the barbie & I ordered chicken with Thai chilli paste. Jackie’s dinner when it arrived was enormous. Her fish had been butterflied open & it covered the entire plate. She still managed to eat pretty much all of it & despite my fears, it was actually very reasonably priced.

    Song of the Day: Stay by Bernard Butler.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 34 - Room with a View & a Half

    12 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ⛅ 27 °C

    A decent nights sleep was had by both of us & we headed to breakfast at 9am, already showered & packed. Sylvian cooked us a delicious American breakfast to send us on our way. Sylvian had also booked our ferry tickets to Ko Phangan & Aiye offered to give us a lift to Don Sak Ferry Port for 200 Baht less than the taxi would cost.

    Just after 10am we said our goodbyes & Aiye drove us to the port. We were so glad she was with us, because apart from showing our tickets, she delivered us right up to the pier for our ferry. It seemed that other passengers were having to show passports & vaccination documentation.

    Our Raja Ferry is very old, greasy & smokey, but we managed to get a prime seat at the back. At 11.05am, the ferry pulled out of the port & I was secretly slightly glad that we didn’t see any pink dolphins hanging around.

    The ferry crossing was 2 and a half hours, which gave Jackie time for a bit of personal grooming & me some reading. We docked at Thong Sala Pier on the island of Ko Phangan at 1.30pm & were met by our pre-arranged hotel taxi driver.

    It was 5.4 miles to our next hotel, Salad Beach Resort, a snip at just £21.50 per night. Our taxi driver lugged both our big rucksacks through the resort to reception, where I gave him 300 Baht for the taxi fare. He looked at me a bit funny, then a couple of minutes later returned with my money & asked me what the 300 Baht was for. It would have been a fantastic tip for him, but I was supposed to pay the fare to the hotel receptionist.

    After checking in, the receptionist asked us to take a seat for 10 minutes which actually turned out to be 20 minutes. She then asked us to follow her up a flight of stairs & we followed but were getting ready to complain because it wasn’t what we had booked. She took us to the front room on the 1st floor & to our very pleasant surprise discovered it was a double aspect sea view room with a lovely balcony. We couldn’t believe our luck.

    On the negative side, the room is a bit dated, but it is spacious with a nice bathroom. We will not be complaining & almost certainly be extending our stay. My value for money discussion with Jackie yesterday had definitely paid off!

    After unpacking a bit, we popped next door to Diamond Bar & Restaurant for a Chang & a chicken satay. It was the best chicken satay of the trip so far & we both agreed that Salad Beach was by far the best beach we have visited in the last month. It had a lovely vibe, even if first impressions were that most of the tourists were Russian.

    After our late lunch, we strolled up the beach & counted just 4 restaurants to eat in. We bought some provisions from the local shop & returned to our lovely balcony for a sundowner.

    That evening we walked to the northern end of the beach & had dinner at a little restaurant called Spicy Salad. Jackie had a pork & rice fish, whilst I had a Massaman curry. It was a romantic setting & evening, I even allowed Jackie to have an expensive glass of white wine!

    Unfortunately the mood was ruined by ‘Biscuitgate’. We stopped at the little shop on the way home to pick up a pack of bottles of water. I was just paying when Jackie added a small packet of Dewberry jammy dodgers to our purchases. The shop assistant showed me the new price & I saw that the biscuits cost 65 Baht, but I still paid for them.

    As we walked away the actual cost of the biscuits sunk in. Normally we had been paying just 10 Baht for the exact same biscuits. I was furious & blamed Jackie for not checking the price before giving them to me. Jackie in turn was angry with me for blaming her when I paid for them already knowing their cost.

    We returned to our balcony for a nightcap & we sat and ate the £1.50 biscuits in silence. At least it was a nice view!

    Song of the Day: Room With A View by Billy Vera & The Beaters.
    True Romance by She Wants Revenge.
    Okumaya devam et

  • Day 33 - F¥ck It, Not Phuket

    11 Ocak 2022, Tayland ⋅ ☁️ 24 °C

    Woke up to a cacophony of noise from singing birds to crowing cockerels to the Thai man next door hacking up phlegm & gobbing it. Just after 9am we went to breakfast to find an agitated Sylvian. Apparently the Thai man & his family next door had not respected the Leeloo rules & their crimes included flicking cigarette butts into the well tended garden, urinating in the garden & having a poo in an another room. Aiye was tasked with ensuring that they packed up & left the property.

    According to Sylvian, the Thais from southern Thailand are less educated & have no manners or respect. A harsh sweeping statement. We sent Sylvian off to make our breakfast & cool down. As you would expect from a Frenchman, he took pride in his food & the breakfast was excellent.

    After breakfast we lounged around the pool & after their cleaning chores, Sylvian informed us that he & Aiye were going into town for a few hours & we were in charge of the place. Apparently one of the mountain bikes we had borrowed on day 1 now had a flat tyre, so gave me his motorbike keys should we need or want to go out. It was a nice gesture considering the last time we borrowed his motorbike we abandoned it at the Indian with a flat battery!

    We stayed around the pool all day, appreciating a lazy day with the birds singing, butterflies fluttering, lizards lounging & skinks slinking. Lunch consisted of a couple of Hong Thongs & in the afternoon, after much ‘discussion’ about prices & value for money, we booked 3 nights cheapish accommodation on Ko Phangan.

    We also looked at the the different location options available to us & made the momentous decision that we would avoid the Phuket resorts & stay in Ko Phangan & Koh Tao until we go home.

    We returned to CC Restaurant & Bar on Sylvian’s scooter for our final dinner in Khanom; which turned out to be a bit of a wind tunnel. We both ordered the Pad Thai, but no ordinary Pad Thai, ours came enclosed in a thin omelette. We hadn’t had or seen one of these since we went to Koh Samui at least 20 years ago.

    We saw a different side to CC Restaurant & Bar, because a number of westerners, male & female turned up throughout the evening as well as some potential Thai brides. The bar was definitely the farang’s meeting place.

    We were too exhausted to hang around, so we picked up a Hong Thong & headed back to a our balcony for a Ricky Gervais outtake session in preparation for Afterlife series 3.

    Song of the Day: Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups.
    F¥ck It (I Don’t Want You Back) by Eamon.
    The Charge by New Model Army.
    Okumaya devam et