Day 41 - Sod Ukraine What About Thailand

Woke up to discover that I had an email from the vetting people to say my Apple IPad may actually be suitable to complete my vetting questionnaire. Oh god, here we go again!!

The first thing I had to do was cut & paste a link into Google to open up a portal. I failed at the first hurdle the WiFi in our room was not strong enough to upload the portal. I spent the next hour walking around the resort trying over & over again to upload the link without a glimmer of success. Totally f¥cked off, I resorted to begging a friend who has gone through the process to try & upload it for me in the UK.

We had a liquid breakfast, Jackie had an iced coffee & I had a fresh mango shake. During breakfast, Swedish Julia found me & informed me that her computer is totally knackered & she cannot now work for the next 2 months until they go home. We are all being held hostage by technology!

After breakfast we returned to our sun beds & read our paperback books. We are now fighting off Russians from all sides as they grow in numbers around Salad Beach. The point couldn’t have been emphasised any better than a Russian girl who at lunch was wearing a Russian army hat & just a skimpy bikini. Are they planning an invasion here as well?

We had a relatively early lunch at Crystal next door & to mark our last lunch on Ko Phangan for a while, we ‘splashed out’ on a sandwich & french fries to share. The sandwich was onion confit, bacon, cheddar cheese & homemade pastrami, all in rye bread. It was absolutely gorgeous. Just 2 small beers accompanied it.

Apart from the odd stroll along the beach we did nothing during the afternoon & ended it with a sundowner. Against my better judgement, we had a quick Hong Thong, then Jackie attacked my Pompadour with my beard trimmers on the balcony. I am now too scared to look in the mirror!

After another Hong Thong we went out for dinner at Salad Hut, which Swedish Dad had recommended for it’s pizzas. When we arrived, the annoyingly loud Russian family were just leaving & it left us as the only diners. Not necessarily a good sign.

We ordered a chicken satay starter followed by a margarita pizza with extra ham & garlic. The chicken was plentiful, but a bit chewy & the satay was not to my taste. The pizza then arrived & we knew we had made a mistake. Effectively it was a frozen pizza heated up in the oven & at some point ham slices & raw garlic slices were dropped on it. It was the second disappointing meal we had had in a row.

We paid up & drowned our disappointment with Hong Thongs & a packet of 10 baht jammy dodgers. Just saying again! After a couple of Hong Thongs, Jackie felt the need to attack my Pompadour again, but now with a pair of nail scissors. My best white grandad shirt was covered in clumps of grey hair & blood. I’m never looking in a mirror again!

Thank you Alka for getting me registered on the portal. Infuriatingly, I still can’t access the portal with the resort WiFi. Hopefully I’ll have better luck at our next stop!

Song of the Day: Russians by Sting.
Dominion / Mother Russia by Sisters of Mercy.
The Best by Tina Turner.Read more