Shocking Shit 💩 Show Stansted! 😳

Up early & did the obligatory panic about whether I’d left any personal belongings in the apartment. Did about 5 laps until I was (almost) satisfied so did one more! Still wondering as I left the keys 🔑 inside…🤦‍♂️🤔

I’ve discovered that in post Covid travel 🧳 environment you essentially have to spend the best part of a day travelling 🧭 All airlines ask for 3-4 hour leeway. Then there’s the trains 🚆 buses 🚌 transfers & lots of shanks pony🙃Thankfully, I love ❤️ the exploration and organisation aspects and when you’re already on holiday it’s just part of the fun 🤩
And TIP: work out the time you need to get going THEN, add at least, another half hour 👍🏻

Now, to Stansted Airport… 😳😳😳
Remember the little Britain produced show called ‘Come fly with me’? I felt like I was in an episode of that…!
What an absolute shit show it is!
The moment we arrived (from a very efficient Stansted express train 🚊) we were greeted with no lifts or escalators working so 100’s were herded like cattle 🐮🐮🐮🐮through a small opening at the first desk with 3 unhappy people checking tickets 🎫

Schlepping up a steep ramp we were next met with extremely long lines of people trying to check-in… Now, if you’ve seen ‘Come fly with me’ then this is clearly got the blueprint of the rude, arrogant & complacent characters directly from! The girls at the check-in desk could not give a rats arse about making things easier and pleasant…forget it! 🫣😳🙄 I wonder if, like the chicken and the egg theory is Stansted the same: which came first? Were the staff already nonchalant and rude or did this happen because of the reputation? I realise that this airport houses budget airlines but does that mean you should treat customers like peasants!? 🤷🏻‍♂️ Staff clearly missed the memo 📝 pasted up at every gate! 😱

The waiting area is surrounded by fast food outlets crammed with people and the middle seating area felt like there was a game of musical chairs going on: People standing to the sides waiting to see a vacant seat and then rushing to grab it! Or, alternatively, deciding to just sit anywhere on the floor… There were people feeding babies, eating lunch and generally just mooching around in a space that is clearly not air-conditioned! I sound like the wicked witch from the west… Melting! 🥵🥵

This is my first negative angled post but I just could not let it go by without providing a special mention of the complete and utter bedlam that Stansted is! (Sorry, not sorry!)

Now! RyanAir…the rumours are indeed true! At the boarding gate the “hostess” yells at the top of her lungs, like a fisherman’s wife, to indicate
“…ya need ya boarding pass out..if youse wanna board..!”

Approaching the stairs to board and I’d really seen it all! The pilot 👩‍✈️ hanging out the front window of the plane, cleaning the windshield!?

Once on RyanAir, on one positive note, the air conditioning kicked in! Phew 😮‍💨 But we were held up on tarmac for over an hour…perhaps the pilot 👨‍✈️ needed to pump up the tyres too!🫣💁🏻‍♂️
Essentially, RyanAir, once in the air, was great 👍🏻 Rose wine 🍷 snickers and bag o chips and all was forgiven….

Cannot wait to arrive in Italy where I will be heading straight to my hotel to wash the stench of Stansted off me… 🚿 🧼 🤣🤣🤣

“Buckle up bitches! You’re in for a bumpy ride..!”
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