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January 1, 1904 in Thailand
Thailand day 1
December 25, 2025 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 33 °C
Thailand Day 1: Christmas Edition; Now With 0% Brain Function 🎄🇹🇭
So.
It was Christmas Day.
We bravely left our home like two festive idiots and headed to the airport because apparently we hate sleep and love chaos.
Cue:
✈️ A LOOOOONG flight
🕳️ One entire day vanishing into thin air
⏰ Arrival in Bangkok at 6 AM, Dec 25
🚕 Really long cab drive to Rayong
🎅Christmas? Never heard of it.
We arrive looking like two unpaid extras from The Walking Dead: Jetlag Edition.
Customs? Survived.
Baggage claim? Psychological warfare.
We waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
We stood there waiting so long I started naming the suitcases.
Then: THE CAB DRIVER HUNT.
We’re walking around the airport like lost NPC tourists, spinning in circles, whisper-shouting: “Is this him?” “No.” “Maybe?” “No.” “Why are there 400 men with signs???”
WE SURVIVED.
Then like a wholesome Christmas miracle.
We meet Rasmus’ grandpa + wife, dad + wife, and little brother and honestly??
They were so cute and cozy I almost forgot I hadn’t slept since last year.
Another cab.
Another prayer.
Hotel check-in EARLY.
I almost cried on the lobby floor out of gratitude.
We take a “nap” (aka a 2.5-hour coma).
Wake up like "What day is it? Did we sleep a whole day?"
And then we WALK.
And walk.
And walk.
And WALK.
Until we reach a mall because of course everything in Thailand eventually becomes a mall.
We meet his dad & co again, stroll around, try to look alive.
Meanwhile my lovely boyfriend had officially entered his
✨ tired & slightly grumpy motherf*cker era
(no offense babe, I love you, but you were giving exhausted feral).
So we did the most responsible thing possible:
👉 Went to bed EARLY.
👉 On Christmas.
👉 In RAYONG.
Romantic?
No.
Iconic survival behavior?
ABSOLUTELY.
Thailand Day 1:
✨ 1 day disappeared
✨ 0 energy
✨ 10/10 vibes
✨ Still alive
Stay tuned. This trip is just getting started 😌🇹🇭✈️
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#TravelChaos
#JetlagLife
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Thailand day 2
December 26, 2025 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 31 °C
Thailand Day 2: Hunger Games and Powerwalk Delusion
Jetlag still running the household.
I personally have one brain cell and it is on vacation.
We start the day with a “powerwalk” and I swear to God that word is doing WAY too much here. Because my future hubby looks me dead in the eyes and says:
👉 “You should be happy I walked at all.”
Sir.
I AM GRATEFUL YOU ARE A DAMN HERO.
The walk was cozy.
Did it activate muscles?
❌ No.
Did it improve anything?
❌ No.
But we were upright. Big win.
Back to the hotel → shower → SPRINT to breakfast before my man fully transformed.
And listen carefully because this is important:
🦝 WHEN MY HUBBY IS HUNGRY, HE BECOMES A RACCOON.
Not metaphorically.
Not spiritually.
BIOLOGICALLY.
Same energy as that Furiously Happy raccoon (great book by the way. Really love it):
slightly unhinged
chaotic eyes
zero patience
would absolutely steal food from strangers
He doesn’t complain.
He doesn’t argue.
He just… vibrates with rage and silence.
Breakfast time.
EXCEPT IT’S NOT BREAKFAST.
IT IS DINNER WEARING A MORNING DISGUISE.
RED.
CURRY.
AT.
9. AM.
I’m sitting there like:
“Is this allowed?”
The raccoon is already eating like he’s been scavenging behind a dumpster since 2009.
Then: PHONE CALL OF DOOM 📞
Someone got FOOD POISONING.
NOT ME.
NOT THE RACCOON.
God clearly has FAVORITES.
So we go to the pool and do exactly nothing.
Just floating.
Staring.
Thinking about food poisoning.
Thinking about how fast a raccoon could swim if needed.
Boredom hits like a truck so we escape via Bolt to somewhere in Rayong.
Grab something to drink and WHY does everyone look like they just remembered taxes exist?
No smiles.
Barely a hello.
I felt like I personally ruined their day by breathing.
Back to hotel → powernap
Then out for dinner.
At this point my brain is chanting like a cult:
🦠 food poisoning
🦠 food poisoning
🦠 FOOD POISONING
So We walk.
And walk.
And WALK.
Until we find a restaurant that doesn’t scream “you will be fighting demons in the bathroom later.”
Plot twist:
THE FOOD WAS INCREDIBLE.
Raccoon fed.
World saved.
Peace restored.
We end the night playing cards at the hotel.
My hubby wins.
IMMEDIATELY.
Suspicious.
RACCOON BEHAVIOR.
I am convinced he hid cards in his cheeks.
If we survive this trip without food poisoning or a full raccoon escape; I deserve a medal and he deserves a trash can. 🦝😌
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น้ำคอก
December 27, 2025 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 29 °C
Thailand day 3
December 27, 2025 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 27 °C
Thailand Day 3: Resurrection, Beach Torture & The Waffle Quest 🇹🇭💀🧇
GUESS who resurrected from the dead yesterday.
Yes.
✨ The food poisoned people. ✨
Back. Alive. Upright. Acting like they didn’t just flirt with the afterlife.
Medical mystery.
Biblical vibes.
Jesus is taking notes.
So naturally we went to the beach for “cozy time.”
I survived by aggressively playing a mobile game like it was life support.
Then TRAGEDY.
📉 LOW BATTERY.
And listen
When your phone dies at the beach, BOREDOM HITS LIKE A TRUCK.
You’re left with NOTHING but your thoughts and your own sweat.
I do NOT understand beach people.
What is the joy??
You just lie there.
Sweating.
Marinating like a human kebab.
For ENTERTAINMENT??
Unclear.
Disturbing.
Possibly illegal.
Then it was lunch time.
You remember that AMAZING restaurant from yesterday?
Yes, we went there AGAIN
To show the others.
They forgot my food.
They.
Forgot.
MY.
FOOD.
Suddenly I understood every crime documentary I’ve ever watched.
I tried to stay calm.
So maybe, MAYBE I was the hangry one this time.
But let’s be honest: I still blame my hubby!! because teasing him is my love language 🤫
Then my VERY hungry man announces he needs a WAFFLE.
Not wants.
NEEDS.
Like the Geneva Convention requires it.
So we walked.
And walked.
And WALKED.
This is no longer transportation.
This is our personality.
Back to hotel → powernap
Wake up with a BAM, completely disoriented.
Questioning our life choices.
Unsure what year it is.
Unsure if we live here now.
We meet up with the rest for dinner.
We ate delicious food again. Crispy pork something 🤤
Absolutely worth surviving for.
Then we walked through the biggest market I have EVER seen.
I was fully prepared to call missing people.
But honestly?
Our very white legs would be spotted immediately.
And my hubby’s bald head?
A beacon.
A lighthouse.
Impossible to lose. 🥰😍
After the market we somehow end up at the 90’s House.
Me?
I LIVED for the vibes
Chaos. Music. Joy.
Didn’t understand a single word they were singing.
Did not care.
I was THRIVING 💃
The rest of the gang?
Suspicious.
Concerned.
Unsure if this was safe.
I had the time of my life
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หมู่บ้านบ้านอยู่สบาย
December 27, 2025 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 26 °C
Thailand day 5
December 29, 2025 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C
Thailand Day 5: My Spine Filed for Divorce, The Ocean Tried Me & Midnight Food Won 🇹🇭💀🍹
Woke up feeling like a crocked fossil.
My spine had already packed its bags, filed for divorce, and blocked me on all platforms.
I didn’t get out of bed! I escaped it horizontally, crawling like a crime scene survivor.
After the nightmares caused by The Bed (you know that medieval torture device), it was time for breakfast.
Breakfast is now less about food and more about emotional repair.
Then we walked to the city center in search of a smoothie.
Because nothing says “healing” lik
e liquid fruit pretending to fix your life.
Next stop: the harbor.
Why?
Because it was time to take a ferry to Koh Larn
a beautiful island where time doesn’t exist and sunscreen is a lifestyle.
My hubby HERO OF THE DAY! bribed me with a surprise Piña Colada because he knows I think sunbathing is just lying still while questioning existence.
10/10 emotional manipulation.
Would fall for it again 🍹
We ate DELICIOUS food.
Angels sang.
Stomachs were pleased.
No complaints filed.
Then it was time to go back to Pattaya via speedboat.
Fast.
Fun.
Sexy.
Until it stopped.
In the middle.
Of the ocean.
Just STOPPED!
I stared into the horizon like:
“So this is where my story becomes a documentary.”
But the driver fixed it.
No swimming required.
THANK GOD because my spine is currently on strike 🤣
Back in the city center for a bit, then Bolt back to the hotel for a “quick power nap.”
Quick = 3 HOURS.
We woke up in the middle of the night.
Hungry.
Confused.
Regretful.
Because instead of dinner WE SLEPT
So we tried to order food delivery.
And listen I was emotionally prepared for disappointment.
BUT IT WORKED.
IT WAS DELICIOUS.
AND
MOST IMPORTANTLY
✨ NO FOOD POISONING
A historic win.
Day 5 recap:
✨ Spine divorced me
✨ Smoothies for survival
✨ Island vibes unlocked
✨ Surprise Piña Colada saved a relationship
✨ Boat stopped mid-ocean (character development)
✨ Accidental coma nap
✨ Midnight food delivery victory
At this point, survival is the vibe. 😌
#TravelHumor
#VacationChaos
#CoupleChaos
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#PattayaLife
#KohLarn
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