"I want to die" - Heatstoke Day II

I awoke in the morning feeling about 10% better than yesterday, but when I was only feeling about 5% yesterday, an additional 10% isn't really much of an improvement.

I spent the majority of my day lying in bed feeling sorry for myself, while attempting to watch movies in our hotel room. I settled on watching "Me Before You" which, if you haven't seen it, never watch it when you are feeling sick and vunerable. It made me cry like a little baby and didn't do much for my already gloomy outlook on life.

Fast forward an entire day and at 6pm, Jamie decided that after 36 hours of essentially not eating, I needed to attempt to if I had any chance of surviving the 20 hour bus ride tomorrow. He took me into town on a tuk tuk and when faced with the humidity of the Siem Reap evening, I quickly began to deteriorate. I had to go back to the hotel in a tuk tuk with a takeaway pizza in hand. Jamie stayed in town and ate dinner with Gauthier (who was now also in Siem Reap) as I didn't want him to have his whole time in Siem Reap ruined by the Party Killer Sicko.

When Jamie returned at 10.30pm, he was alarmed to find out that I had only managed to eat half a piece of pizza before I found myself throwing up again. Nearly fast asleep, Jamie made me get out of bed to eat more, quoting "You've got to be cruel to be kind" over and over again, while I looked at him with a mixture of despair and disgust. The thought of eating again filled me with fear.

Somehow I managed to keep this food down and fell asleep to the sound of Jamie murmuring something about him being right to make me eat, even if I had only managed a couple of slices.

Some words of advice - it kind of goes without saying, but never ever let yourself get heatstroke, there is no pain like it in this world.

Also sorry for the lack of pictures, there are just particular events in this world that shouldn't be documented 😷🤒.Læs mere