Bloody business of placing accesses

We have managed to create an average of one new access per day.
I claim either they can't put in IV's or the material is bad or both.
The nurse front claims in unison that I move too much. Smear!

The IV that Mary Tudor the Bloody put in my Oscar-worthy star vein in the left arm slipped out on the third day. Mary Tudor the Bloody was on duty. Yes please, poke me several times and feel free to dig around in my veins with a needle the size of a ballpoint pen refill.
Finally it works, only for said needle to slip out again after two minutes and a bloodbath takes its course. Mary Tudor the Bloody was already gone. Call.

Ehhh, yes call with a phone. Didn't I mention there was no emergency button in the room?

At least it's a push button phone and not one with a rotary dial. I imagine it easier during an incipient stabbing pain in the heart area, gasping for air and in panic mode to tap buttons instead of turning the dial. Yes dear generation Z, there was such a thing!!!

I hope there is someone on station right now.

I'm reaching a Grey. Hurray!!! We find a thin, short, almost invisible vein in my left forearm. The Grey makes quick work of it and I already have a plaster on it.

We are at four accesses in days. By the time I leave, the accesses had to be changed three more times.

But my blood is nice and fresh and red. I am fascinated every time to see this my lifeblood. I like the drama of it, hence the photos.
Speaking of which; You watch in the video how a Snoopy mops up the blood. Monstrously efficient!!!!Read more