Day 10 - The choices we make

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer

Day 10 - Villafranca Montes de Oca to Burgos by bus (40km)

I chose to be miserable today, I think.
I chose to take the bus to Burgos rather than stretch my limits to walk up the mountain.
I chose to not walk down the other side of that mountain due to the terrain and the chance of hurting myself.
I chose to wimp out.
I chose to wait 5 hours for a bus that cost me just under 3€ rather than pay 55€ for a taxi.
Therefore, I chose a day of introspection and misery to a day of “doing” and living life to the fullest.

I am really suffering from thoughts of my own expectations and my failure to make the most of this experience. I am making my own choices in how this journey unfolds, but finding it hard to live with and accept those choices as they are not what I had planned. I feel I am wasting precious time - waiting for buses, not starting early enough, being lazy when arriving at my daily destination rather than discovering the area, and generally letting days slip by. I want to do more. I want to BE more. I just don’t know how to get the mojo going to do that. I don’t say this for sympathy, encouragement or pity. I promised an open and honest account of my Camino, and this is it. Simple as that. It’s tough! Physically and emotionally. But that’s the point right? Maybe part of what I am learning here is to let go of those unreasonable expectations of myself. Both on and off Camino.

Despite these negative feelings, there ARE positives too! I am overweight and underfit BUT, I have walked a total of over 125 kms in the 7 days I have walked. All bar 1 days also carrying an extra 8+ kg on my back. That’s an accomplishment. I do think of this too and am pretty damn proud of myself. I am not doing this Camino the way I anticipated, but I’m still here. I have considered hopping a flight to somewhere warm. Somewhere with a beach and sand, sun loungers and cocktails. But no. I am still here and will keep plodding along for a bit more.

I finally got to Burgos in the afternoon and went straight to my hostel to dump my backpack. I have reserved a bed for two nights in this bustling city. Will show up on the physio’s doorstep tomorrow and hope for the best. With any luck, I will be on my way out of the city by Tuesday morning. While here though, I will get a taste for the city if I can. Today I had a great video chat with the whole family, which lifted my spirits! I showed them the exterior of and then I visited the stunning Burgos Cathedral. I have never seen a cathedral like this. It is SO extra hahaha. The altarpieces, carved walls, gothic architecture and tapestries are beyond over the top. It was truly incredible.

Tomorrow I would like to walk up to the Castillo de Burgos and look out over the city - after I go to the physio’s office. Walk in the grand plaza and along the river. Take time to sightsee and be a visitor. Take time to re-jig my plan with more reasonable and attainable expectations. And buy some warmer clothes for heavens sake!! Where did that lovely warm sun go? Autumn has come to Spain almost overnight and I am still on summer time!Read more