Stockholm

Flying from Warsaw to Stockholm was a short flight that gave me some views of the sunrise in a sea of clouds. Approaching Sweden was also another experience that showed me just what the archipelago looked like from above, all these islands blanketed in snow. I didn't realize winter was already in full force at this time.

My heart was full of hope for what awaited in Stockholm. It felt like the culmination of my entire journey so far, yet a part of me was also faltering. I had so much trust in the Universe but also told myself that I should just stay present and enjoy the moment.

The airport was super fancy and I particularly liked the train towards the town being eco-friendly. I walked over to my hostel where I settled my things and took a shower before heading over to Gamla Stan.

I went to the Stockholm City Hall first, enamoured by the setting sun that was already shining the golden hour colors onto the city. The arches that framed the city opposite the river made me long for what I was looking for. I went to the Parliament House and the Stockholm Cathedral, just some pictures here and there. The Royal Palace seemed to have a changing of the guard ceremony happening that made it jam-packed so I went ahead to the Tessin Palace and then to Finska Krykan where the Sweden's smallest statue, the Iron Boy sat looking up at the moon. The streets of Gamla Stan were beautiful and winding, yet I was getting disheartened and finally accepted defeat that day. "I can't do this anymore." Thoughts of betrayal and feeling completely lost with the journey, I was in resignation. Visiting other sites like the House of Nobility and Riddarholmen Church, Evert Taubes Terrass where I got to see the City Hall from the other side this time was nice and all with the snow, the wind had a frosty bite to it too.

I went to have lunch at a cozy restaurant in the form of salmon. From there, I proceeded to the central square where a Christmas market was taking place. Giving up for the day, I proceeded to Monteliusvagen towards Mariaberget to see the cityscape from the hill above. From there, I walked back to my hostel, stopping by a 7/11 to grab some bananas for dinner.

I laid on my bed, fixing my things slowly, taking a shower, trying to avoid confronting my thoughts and reality. It was shattering everything I had known yet I couldn't grieve, I couldn't give up, I couldn't get frustrated, I couldn't get angry. My mind was going berserk yet my heart stood steadfast. It was hell. I don't know why I was led here, the journey couldn't be denied yet I felt so betrayed. It was a good thing I was so tired from the journey that I fell asleep, drifting on and off but waking up in the wee hours of the morning. I was still processing everything to no avail.Read more