Vaxholm

Waking up with a heavy heart and the same feeling of being lost, I tried to make sense of my situation, getting in tune with myself to no avail but the day was waiting and it was time to get a move on. I took a shower and put on some clothes, still having a bit of hope inside yet carrying a heavy burden.

I checked out and welcomed the cold embrace of the darkness before dawn. I walked over to the station, enjoying the empty streets. I got my ticket but forgot that I had to leave my bag in the locker first so I backtracked to the Central Station to deposit it before finding my way in the labyrinthian pathways of the metro. I understood what they meant now when they said how the Metro was one of the world's largest art galleries. It truly was!

I rode the train to the docks where I hopped on a boat to Vaxholm. I was still hoping that somehow things would magically align but no, I got on the boat alone despite what could have been. I did my best to get through and try to enjoy the present moment. I decided not to give up still, and to keep affirming. This gave me a bit of hope. I went to the Vaxholm Hotel first to grab whatever food they had, they didn't have much since it was only a breakfast buffet. Some bread, cheese, fruits, and juices were hopefully enough to fill me up.

I proceeded with my original plan to go around the whole island, starting with seeing the Fortress and then going up and enjoying the views of the red houses, seaside, beaches, and forests. All the while my mind was preoccupied with my goal. Soon enough, I reached the end of the island and the southern side was more of a nature trail. I had to do a bit of a steep hike even.

By this time, there was a bit of a drizzle as the sun started to show its golden colors. I reached the docks with plenty of time to spare, I was planning on having lunch here but saw that the boat departing for Stockholm was soon to arrive so I opted to just head back and find some place there. I think throughout the whole journey in Vaxholm, I was able to accept the current situation and also accept that it wasn't necessarily over. It was only over when I gave up, but I've come too far and saw too much to turn back now. That gave me a bit of calm and peace. Back on the boat, I somehow ended up discovering self-concept. This was the key and brought me back to full alignment, it shifted to focus on the external to the internal. This was the next chapter of my journey.

When I got back to Stockholm, I went to visit the National Museum. Exploring its halls and works while already starting to embody self-concept work. I had lunch here as well, salmon and mushroom soup. After catching my bearings fully, it was time. Time to leave Stockholm behind and begin my journey to Abisko.

I walked all the way to the main station to get my things, only to find that I actually didn't close the lockers properly. Surprisingly, I didn't have to pay the price by the hour and only the initial price, since the kind gentleman reset it. I'll take any blessings I can for today. After waiting for an hour or two, I went to board the train.

I was met by a kind-looking person, a Swede named Tristan. We talked for a while before being joined by Louis, a man from France, Yaseen from Pakistan, and Rasmus and Trina, a father-daughter duo from Germany. We enjoyed jolly conversations while getting to know each other's backgrounds and cultures. I found that I was really lucky to be placed with them as all the other rooms seemed to be super noisy or have intimidating people, the rooms were a bit rugged compared to our calm atmosphere. I was also so ready to go to sleep, but I was also enjoying this calmness within me. I was finally free from this thing that I had been carrying with me since Bhutan, since October. I was finally living in the present moment, free from thought. I was free and alive and aligned. I was...happy. I enjoyed talking with everyone for a long time before finally tapping out to my first good sleep in a long time.Read more