In my feels

I'm in my feels... You know I've had the most amazing month of my life. I wasn't always this happy and free. I used to think I could never make it this way or that I could never be enough or make enough money or feel this happy. I used to criticize my body so much that I would rather die young, sad, starving, and skinny than feel so imperfect and unworthy of happiness/comfort/life changing experiences. I was suicidal. I tried. More than once. 🙃Thankfully, as you can see, I'm here, I failed. I had no hope and seemingly nothing to live for. No interesting future to look forward to. I kept a stash of syringes that I stole from doctors offices hidden in my room just for the comfort of knowing that if I decided to, I could fill one with air and stop all this emotional pain I didnt know how to deal with in an instant. I've been there. Today, it shakes and disturbes me to the core to know that I could have missed all this. I could have missed all these opportunities, connections, experiences, and self-love and acceptance that I could not see ahead of me back then. It's all here now. Everything that I never knew was meant for me. I thank my support system for encouraging me to keep going. Without my parents and therapists over the years, I don't know that I would have put in the work it takes to move forward from a place like that. It isn't easy. Sometimes, it feels impossible. I'm here to tell you that it is ALWAYS worth it. Keep going. Try to make each day better than the last. Sometimes, you will fail, and sometimes, you will find success beyond your wildest imagination. Both are good. They say there are countless failures behind every "success" and I have found that statement to be the most true. You can not truly know success until you have failed (sometimes miserably) and rebuilt or (as I prefer to say) "rediscovered" what works. If you are feeling discouraged or down on your feelings, I want you to know that every step forward COUNTS. Every time you try is a success in and of itself. Small victories over time stack up and eventually make giant strides in the right direction. Keep making small steps and small victories. You deserve it. There are people in this world who love to see you happy. If not for you, try for them. <3Læs mere