Fisherman’s Village - Ko Samui

Coco Tam’s is a beach club/bar in Ko Samui that has really cool fire shows and jet ski hover board guys that come on around 7pm. The vibe here is Mykonos meets Tulum but absolutely zero partying because 99% of people are still scared to come here due to covid or due to the fact that Ko Samui is still about 90% closed. Almost everyone here is Thai and on vacation similar to how we would go to Hawaii. Thailand is still about 75% closed based on what I’m seeing and hearing. That 25% is perfect for what I want out of this trip but it’s becoming more and more clear why I haven’t seen one American so far, and I’m understanding why everyone is staring at me with disbelief everywhere I go. Even my driver asked me what I was doing here, “There’s no party…you get massage? Nothing else to do” he said when he picked me up. If I’m being honest he asked if I was planning to go get “boom boom.” I laughed and said no man, I’m just here to chill. He was shook as apparently every American just comes to Samui to get trashed (short ferry ride to the Full Moon Party.) Should we start the U-S-A chants now or later?

I’m not writing about Chaweng Beach because I went there, and it was scary abandoned. Hard Rock Cafe looks like the zombie apocalypse came and went, restaurants all closed, even 7-Eleven is closed! The only establishments that are open are massage parlors, a couple fake designer stores (I may have purchased an LV belt for $10, I can’t recall), the gym (really nice gym I spent a couple hours at to kill time), and an Indian food restaurant where I had the best Indian food I’ve ever had. Chicken Tikka Masala, Garlic Naan Bread, veggie biryani, and a salad. FIRE. I had literally been walking up and down the street looking for restaurants Google claimed were open but every time I would locate one.. closed. Ok, walk 15 minutes down the street to the next.. closed. Ok walk back down this alley.. closed. I’m sweating profusely at this point, and I walk passed this man sitting in front of his restaurant and I stop to Google it, seems legit. “Are you open?” I say, “Yes, yes, yes” he says.

I tell him I’ve been walking around and failing and he replies “it’s been like this for 2 years, you are first American.” Common reply by now so I tell him I’m hungry, let’s get it. I order Indian food like once every 2 months. It’s not that I don’t like it, I do, there are just other cuisines higher on my priority list. Plus, my experiences so far have just been meh. Indian curries and Thai curries are completely different by the way. Anywho, the food was amazing. Not heavy, super clean, spice was perfect, crushed it. What I’ve come to learn about telling people I’m a chef is one simple thing… when I compliment them on their food, it makes them feel that much better because of the credibility.

I have done this several times here in Thailand when I genuinely love the food and I can see their faces light up, I can even hear them celebrating in the back (I don’t understand what they’re saying but it sounds jolly and I can hear the word “American or California” and “chef” being used.) Funny thing is, I’m not a chef. I couldn’t officially finish culinary school due to covid. I have never worked in a restaurant. But who the fuck cares? I know food. I also know restaurant owners here who have been devastated worse than we have in America and cannot fucking wait to serve people “normally” again. A compliment goes a long way. Appreciating their service goes a long way. They are not expecting a tip and are very surprised when I leave one. They just want an opportunity to have a business again.

I’m tearing up just writing this because 90% of restaurants I have been in on this trip have been empty and super excited to seat me. I ask them all how they’re doing, “Not good” they say. I try to order enough food for two people and watch their funny reactions. I have not been disappointed so far and I let them know every time how much I like it. If they don’t speak English (about half don’t), I use Google Translate to type up something nice to them about their food. I must confess last night I couldn’t finish a soup dish because my mouth was on fire and I was crying. I apologized for being such a wimp then ordered bananas soaked in coconut cream like a giant baby. This was “European spicy” they said, not even Thai spicy. My driver made a joke about spicy food, “Men need spicy for sexy, women need spicy to stay sexy.” If that’s true bro then I’m locked and loaded because the only non-spicy food here is at breakfast. I don’t know what he meant about women and I’m scared to find out.

It was also my final night in Samui so I decide to take a dip in the pool and enjoy a cloudy sunset.

Bonus: I left my credit card at the sushi restaurant in Chiang Mai I wrote about previously. I messaged my buddy and chef, Kong, and guess what arrived at my Airbnb in the mail? I asked to mail him back cash to cover the cost and he said no. I promised to pay it forward. Thank you.Read more