• Maria Gair
  • Melinda Heiner
jun. – jul. 2018

TMOLMM

“The Misadventures of Las Mujeres Miserables”
Thirty years after Maria lived a summer in Spain, and fifteen after Melinda completed her Masters in Madrid, we bring our 12-year-olds on a road trip. We have orthotics and enough NSAIDs to last a month.
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  • Inicio del viaje
    19 de junio de 2018

    A long, long time ago...

    1 de julio de 1989, Estados Unidos ⋅ ⛅ 31 °C

    Four score and about a million years ago, Maria flew to Barcelona for a monthlong exchange in Spain. She was armed with 5 years of book-learned Spanish, a fair accent (thanks to being raised in bilingual New Mexico plus a two week tour of Spain the year prior), and a total lack of knowledge of the vosotros conjugation. She returned home with a love of Spain and her people. Meanwhile, over in the Midwest, Melinda fell in love with Spanish and made it her vocation. She traveled to Spain multiple summers completing her Master’s degree in Spanish literature and returning home with part of her heart left behind.

    Years later, these young girls, unrelated and yet creepily similar, met and bonded over travel and language. Much older and more jaded, these two, armed with prescription eyeglasses, physical therapy bands, and fortified by recent dental work, will return together to España to introduce their now twelve-year-old children to the land that they love. Age and brokenness will not stop Maria and Melinda, the “Miserable Mujeres”, from a grand tour of Spain. We hope to give our kids a taste of independent travel, and a chance to learn the vosotros conjugation, while giving you all a good laugh as you follow our {mis}adventures!
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  • A Tale of Two Travelers

    18 de junio de 2018, Estados Unidos ⋅ ⛅ 22 °C

    T minus 24 hours:
    Melinda’s luggage left
    Maria’s luggage right

    T minus 12 hours:
    Melinda needs her entire iPhone hardware replaced.

  • It's the journey not the destination...

    19 de junio de 2018, Estados Unidos ⋅ ⛅ 23 °C

    that makes you lose your mind. We were 3 hours early to the airport. The airport was empty. Maria thought, “oh. This will be a breeze!” Unfortunately, She hadn’t flown American Airlines since 1987...Maria was so. Very. Wrong. We waited 45 minutes to check luggage. We were third in line. Apparently the woman in front was changing her citizenship or something. Then the nice guy in front of us was trying to move his 7 foot tall dog back from Trinidad. He had to haggle with the airline to take his kennel. We finally get to the counter (all Maria’s fault for forgetting Amelie’s birthdate). Maria’s luggage was overweight. As in all of life, Maria blames the scale. Doubly embarrassing that She had shamed a woman in front of us for the same issue. Thankfully, Melinda bore the burden of 5 more pounds, and Maria’s luggage was no longer too fat to fly...no comment on her person😂

    The agent didn’t move very fast. Even without giving us information, she did her job as slowly as possible. Until, that is, she scooped up Maria’s luggage as we were talking about batteries, and sent it on its merry, contorted, very non-linear way. There was a battery in there. Apparently to save the battery from the TSA agent’s collection of batteries, Maria would have to wait 45 minutes and then recheck. Maria chose to vacation without luggage. “This outfit is quite nice”, she thought, “I’ll stick with it, thanks.” She has no expectation of ever seeing that luggage again.

    In security Ian lamented, “I hate being tall! Nobody believes that I’m 12.” We feel ya, kid. However, the rules are ludicrous. Maria has to take off her womens sized 8, see-through shoes. Ian gets to keep on his mens size 10s. There could be a bazooka in those.

    So far, Maria is the most annoying member of The Miserable Mujeres because She refused to let Melinda get McDonald’s for breakfast. She feels she compromised well by only insisting on the casual dining bistro instead of Denver Chophouse😂

    The airlines are what have made us so antagonistic these days. It’s every man for himself. A lady offered to PAY us to cut in line so she wouldn’t miss her plane (Maria laughed saying that she would be begging for the same courtesy soon enough.) The plane overfills with enormous carry ons and massive “personal items” because people don’t want to pay 75 dollars to have extra underwear on their trip.

    And do stay tuned for Ian’s Yelp review in which he complains of being squished between two fat ladies on the flight.😂😂😂
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  • ¡Ya llegamos en España!

    20 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ ☀️ 32 °C

    We have arrived! And so did Maria’s suitcase AND lithium battery! We are staying here, in the most amazing location ever!!! This is all according to Melinda. Maria spent one jet lagged day in Madrid back in the 80s and was barely conscious for the taxi ride today (night #2 of no sleep...that’s the bad news...the good news? Apparently no sleep and constant tossing and turning are excellent for back pain!)...so Maria doesn’t even really have confirmation that we are in Madrid.

    However, Maria has completed her “back to Europe” ritual, so it’s official that she is at least in Europe. This ritual consists of entering an apartment building, looking for the stairway light switches, and instead ringing Every Single Doorbell on the floor. She thinks people think it’s charming. AirBnB thinks it’s why vacation rentals are being banned from major cities😬

    Melinda chatted with the taxi driver the whole way to the apartment. Amelie said she only understood “un poquito” which was a bit of an understatement. Ian couldn’t remember if “derecha” or “izquierda” was “left” (as in a directional) 🤦‍♀️ But most shockingly, Maria forgot that Fanta Limon was now a required beverage at every chance. How could she forsake her beloved lemon beverage?!

    We are now taking on Madrid by storm...and by that, I mean we are napping because we are old and sad and can’t sleep on a plane nor function without sleep anymore.

    Next up: It took us twice as long to reach the apartment because they are filming a movie and roads are blocked or congested (photo of taxi driver squeezing down street)...Melinda’s goal is to be “una extra.” 😂
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  • Zombie Bar Hopping

    20 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ 🌙 28 °C

    Eventually...we woke up. Well, at least Melinda and Maria did. Ian and Amelie only earned a C+ in awakeness. Yes, you can be graded on vacation...especially when you meet one’s Professor for drinks on the plaza.

    It was a treat for Maria to listen and speak Spanish once again (at this point much more listening than speaking.) The mind is an amazing thing. Maria hasn’t been in Spain since 1994, and then only for a few days. Yet the idioms, vocabulary, and lisp remain familiar in the back of her mind.

    We met Melinda’s professor from SLU Madrid for drinks. We discussed politics, touched on literature, and shared some memories. We talked a bit of our plans for the coming days. The kids barely remained awake. Maria and Melinda stood strong and hemos tapeado (a verb meaning to drink and eat appetizers, “tapas”...We heart España.

    So, Day 1 and we have completed:
    1) Drank Tinto de Verano (summer wine)
    2) Ate Tortilla Española (an egg and potato omelettey thing, yet better than any omelette out there and is often eaten by spreading onto bread)
    3) Found a Menina in the plaza
    4) Drank beer at one of the many bars in which Hemingway did drink.

    We think the movie filming near us *may* be the new Terminator movie. Stay tuned for Melinda’s possible entry into the Hollywood scene...just in case it happens, she’s wearing her sunglasses, even indoors, these days.
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  • Madrid, day 2?

    21 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ ⛅ 24 °C

    Maria really feels like we’ve failed. Nothing hilarious has even happened yet...and we all even got into a BOAT...but...nothing. Peer pressure from the shortest among us who wanted to row a boat in Retiro Park. Maria thought for sure since Melinda fell on her face and got stuck in the corner of the pond last time that it might be epic. But nothing. I mean, yes, we discovered that Ian has a weak left arm, and we were pretty much on the teacup ride in Disneyland for much of the time he rowed...but nobody got wet, lost their phone, or had to call the Coast Guard from a park pond. We do apologize.

    There is still the chance for Maria and Melinda to get caught in the “4 person” elevator at the apartment...with no cell service...but don’t hold your breath.

    Mostly we ate, sweated, and showed the kids the big players at the Prado. We even spent some time trekking the museum in search of a portrait of Isabella of Portugal. Maria doubted Melinda’s old brain was remembering its location correctly, but the culprit wasn’t even her brain. It’s on loan to a museum in Japan. We know. We know. “Museum tragedies” aren’t what you are looking for here. We will try harder next time.
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  • Maria Gair: Self-aware since 2018

    23 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ ⛅ 24 °C

    For over 20 years, when one travels with Maria, one packs an “opera outfit”. Maria was never the one to go to the clubs all night or party until dawn, but if there is a professional opera in town, expect to attend. Maria planned all along that her contribution to the Madrid trip would be the elevation of entertainment and cultural experience, so she checked the schedule for Teatro Real. It took a few days, but in the end Maria did decide that taking two 12 year olds to a 3+ hour opera in which, near the end, the heroine is assaulted, goes mad, kills, and then dies herself in torment might not be the best way to encourage a budding love of the arts. In a shocking display of self-awareness, Maria admitted that the opera wasn’t the answer to all life’s questions and needs. Maria turned to the symphony schedule. For a quarter of the price and far superior seats, we could see a violin concerto for Amelie, who, coincidentally, plays the violin.

    Not to pat herself on the back...but it was magical. Possibly one of the most enjoyable soloists to see perform. Isabelle Faust was technically amazing and mesmerizing as a person...and she signed autographs at intermission. (Oh...she also wore the most enchanting crepe dress that flowed with the music.) My work here is done.

    In the “morning” (12:30 pm), we again met up with Profe Alicia for “drinks and snacks”. Apparently that translated to a 2 hour walking tour in 90 degree heat. I thought we had lost Ian to heat stroke by the end, but he rallied when we then took him to “Museo de Jamon” (museum of ham.) Ham cures all...

    The city tour was also magical (magical realism with the heat😂.) To have a native “madrileña” show you her town...and then have that native be a Professor who, like, knows things. We started by eating the best fried cod ever in the place where Spanish socialism was founded and ended by the Royal Palace. In between we saw the oldest bookstore, the Plaza Mayor, the fish and food market, the caves, and the many more Meninas. Spanish was spoken. Facts were learned. Sweat was plentiful.

    Today we rented a car and drove to Toledo...more on that to come...but know that it’s been a tough two days for Martin. First, I ate an entire plateful of fried sardines and told him about it. Two, we saw Dvorak and Strauss’ Alpine Symphony with a famous soloist for 20 euro. Three, the Peugeot we rented was not available, so we are in...an Audi A4. 😃
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  • This blog may begin to write itself...

    24 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ 🌙 23 °C

    We needed to rent a car at the airport, and just like that, we entered the “what could wrong???” Portion of the trip.

    In the great game of rental car lottery, we went from a Peugeot (which of course Europcar never had) to a bigger (but let’s face it...still not big) Audi A4. ‘Twas the third slap in the face for Martin at home...first Maria ate fried sardines without him (which has happened again since then😬), then we went to a perfect, and cheap symphony performance without him, and then...we get an Audi. Our luggage barely fits (thank goodness for the Tetris training from college). And it’s a manual transmission. All this bragging from Melinda about her ability to drive tractors and yet she’s “nervous” to get back behind the wheel of a stick shift. So Maria drove. Used to an underpowered Subaru, Maria almost gave the group whiplash entering the autopista. A small prayer for no speeding tickets and nobody to steal the Audi as we didn’t buy the extra insurance. Really, a small prayer for Melinda...Maria is driving and it’s on Melinda’s credit card😂😂😂

    Another small bruise to Martin’s ego...Ian says Maria drives more smoothly than he remembers Martin driving. Poor Martin has to drive a Kia and then get Russian judged for it😂

    We drove to Toledo and its a-million-degree weather, so after checking in to the apartment, we headed out for a drive...to the molinas (windmills) of Don Quixote fame. They are in a small town south of Toledo called Consuegra. We drove up the hill, visited the windmills and then began to talk about, what Maria now calls, “Things I half know.” Because it’s been years since either Melinda or Maria were at the site, it’s changed a bit...so we were convinced there were another three windmills. There are another two in a small town called Tembleque. Armed with a cursory internet search and unlimited miles, we drove on...There are two things to note: 1) Every small town around here seems to have an “Exit here!” Sign. We now think that is directed at us. And 2) If something tourist-like is hard to find on the internet...it likely is a figment of your imagination.

    Here’s how it went:

    We drove into town and see two windmills on the right, but town is left, so we go there. Mass is just out, so there are many stares as we drive into town. (Now obvious as to why. The church is the only attraction in town and it just closed😂.) We circle around. Take nice pictures. Decide to drive to the windmills (which, by the way, are NOTHING like Maria remembers them, but who would give up now???) On the way out, Ian sees storks nesting on the spire of an abandoned palace. We stop to take pictures.

    And then:

    Melinda: “Hey. Look over there. I’ll tell you what. I bet you can get a good, cheap meal there. And those old ladies...they could tell you everything about this town.”
    Me: “Wanna go?”
    Melinda: “Yeah, but I’m not hungry.”
    Melinda again: “Oh let’s go check it out...we can at least get a cheese plate.”
    We drive up and on the right are a group of elderly women and men sitting under a sign that read: “Residencia Municipal de Mayores Tembleque” (Municipal Nursing Home Tembleque)

    I. Couldn’t. Breathe. Or see. I was cry laughing so hard that I couldn’t drive. Very few know of Cervantes’ follow up novel about the crazy American ladies looking for non existent windmills and finding where they really belong😂😂 Twenty Four hours later and I’m cry laughing and gasping trying to write this. Amelie doesn’t know if she should resuscitate me or commit me right now.

    And, by the way, we STILL didn’t give up! Laughing and crying and doing a few U-turns, we tried for those dang windmills...clearly located on private land and clearly not named “Quixote” or “Sancho”.

    It was now 10 pm, and we returned to the real windmills to see them lit at night. (We finally reached the wrong ones as the sun disappeared (as did they.) Melinda spent 20 minutes losing the light trying to attach the zoom to her iPhone while we were parked in an industrial yard and while Ian was holding my digital Olympus with zoom attached. I can only hope this place has security cameras and we make the guards’ day a little brighter as they review the weekend footage.)

    On the way home, at 11 pm, we tried to find some food for dinner a la Spanish time. Consuegra seemed like a ghost town. No life in any street. Nothing near the main plaza or cathedral...and then, we turned one corner next to the river and there they were. THE ENTIRE town in pop up cafes by the river. We took the last table in the last cafe and ate bocadillos (baguette sandwiches) and papas (potatoes) until we were stuffed.

    Next up: Bed by 3 am. Sightseeing by 9 am. Taking Spain by Siesta.
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  • Sweating at 10 {PM}

    25 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ 🌙 27 °C

    Ian named the blog tonight. There is nothing like siesta in air conditioning and venturing out at 10 pm for the evening activities, only to find the temperature hovering at 99 degrees...we aren’t glistening...rivers are running down us.

    After returning home at 2 am last night and getting to bed at 3, we woke at 7:30am to take on Toledo without tourists and without the heat. Toledo is a day trip for most, and starting at 10 am the huge tour groups arrive. Before 10, it’s magic. The temperature is finally human (the low temp is reached at 7 am in the summer), the streets are silent (minus a local in a hurry in a car), and the light is low so the streets are shadowed.

    We walked, took pictures, had some breakfast, visited a synagogue and the most famous work by El Greco...and the heat rose and the streets were crowded and we had had enough...we were of course on the opposite side of town from our apartment. There was some grumpiness...maybe even some whining...but we made it back for drinks, and then lunch (suggested by locals), and Siesta! Oh, hail, siesta. A two hour nap can cure the worst of anything...but of course it’s 1:30 am now and I’m still awake😂

    This evening we spent sunset at the view overlooking the city, got a bite to eat, and came home to luxuriate in the air conditioning. Tomorrow we will do something similar as today. Sorry, no goose chases or fake restaurants today. Melinda almost killed herself tripping over a chain tonight near the plaza...a reminder that the border between hilarity and tragedy is a very fine line. Luckily, we are hopefully still tiptoeing on the former.
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  • The 8th Day: In which...

    26 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ 🌙 25 °C

    Melinda falls out of a convent. Maria is no theological scholar and nowhere near a mystic, but if you fall out of a convent, Maria thinks someone, somewhere is sending you a sign. We visited the cathedral first thing in the morning (It is enormous. It took hours to tour), and then we stopped at the convent to purchase sweets. We even waited to purchase the sweets from the nuns instead of buying them in the confectionary the day prior. You ring a doorbell, wait for a nun to buzz you in, ask her for some marzipan, and she hands it to you through the bars of the cloister. As we were leaving, Maria doesn’t know what happened but she “almost” fell down the steps. Just as she let out a sigh of relief for saving herself, she heard a thunk, looked over to see Melinda’s legs above her head, and Maria’s broken fan in Ian’s hands. Apparently, Maria’s fan partially, and insufficiently, broke Melinda’s fall.

    We got limpy to lunch and then siesta. After siesta we did some shopping for Toledo gold, and then found a cold bar for a cold drink in the 100 degree heat. Melinda spilled half her beer onto the table. Let’s just say: Toledo-2, Melinda-0. Melinda had the same nail biting day as España in the World Cup. Luckily, both Survived to compete another day.

    Tomorrow we are off to Trujillo. Still hot but will be a nice reprieve from tourists. Toledo has been lovely, but it’s crowded and we are all a little tired. Let’s all say a little prayer that the Audi is still safe in the municipal parking garage...
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  • Never get cocky when driving in castles

    28 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ ⛅ 19 °C

    Ian has noted today, “You are cussing a lot on this trip, Mom.” Well, Ian, dear, you drive a standard transmission Audi into a $&”@?!$& 9th century castle, and see how the bad words start flowing.

    Our traveling days have been the most humorous...well, until today. Maria was working on the blog from yesterday, but tonight she just ran. into. a. castle, so yesterday’s travel stories are dead to her.

    Maria was going to tell you how we left Toledo for Trujillo (in honor of her former neighbors, the Trujillos, and because Melinda fell in love with Trujillo last year.) Maria was going to tell you about driving into this tiny town with its tiny sidewalk-streets and how we just had to go “right and then right” to the hotel parking...the parking that was right INSIDE the 9th century castle...”This. can’t. be. right?” Sang the chorus of Maria and Melinda as they drove up the hill.

    We did great. No problemo. (Well, except we called the front desk for the WHEELCHAIR elevator not realizing it would take us down 10 steps we were perfectly capable of taking.) And then we had to drive into the castle AGAIN today because Melinda had the dumb idea of a day trip🙄...Maria worried about how we would get out of the castle, but when that was no problemo, Maria got cocky. After a day at the cheese museum (stay tuned) and a visit to Cáceres (our least favorite town thus far), we drove up...went right and then not quite right fast enough...and Maria thought, “Gee. I don’t remember it being this narrow.” Jesus must have been all 😳, but thank goodness for early morning candle lighting...we made it. It was the wrong road and it was 0.2 mm wider than an Audi.

    I mean, yes, in the end Melinda had to walk to Audi down the hill like a puppy...past some Spanish pedestrians (“Um, ladies...do you see my wing mirrors pushed in...maybe wait???” But noooo... Now we know the real reason Spaniards are thin...to be able to walk in the street😂) and past a guy sitting and smoking and talking on the phone in his doorjamb who TURNED his legs inward (like you do for a latecomer at the movies) and did not get OUT OF the way of the Audi as Maria drove past. (Some old ladies even saw Maria stall the car and did not run for cover but kept walking right by us up to the castle.) Spaniards: they aren’t chickens.

    But then...the parking lot was almost full and after pulling perfectly into the. last. parking space, Maria did it. She ran into the castle wall ...oh ever so gently🤦‍♀️ I’m sorry, Costco Visa, she knows not what she did. But really...isn’t it Costco’s fault?!?! With their big parking lots and their wide lanes...Americans are ruined for Europe.

    So, we are inTrujillo...a wonderful little town with more than a dozen towers. On these towers are currently resting migratory Storks from Africa. Ian is in bird nerd heaven. We drove here via Talavera de la Reina where we bought a few painted ceramics, saw some ancient Roman ruins, and were given a bottle of wine for lunch.

    More about the cheese museum tomorrow. Need to get to bed by 2am so I can make the walking tour of Trujillo tomorrow!
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  • "Light más candles, Mujeres."

    29 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ ⛅ 24 °C

    It all started with a cheese museum. Melinda found it last year and didn’t go, so it was her goal for this year. We had arrived in Trujillo and had a lazy first morning. This means we ran into the “siesta problem” where everything is closed when you are finally ready to see things. We figured by driving to Casar de Cáceres, we would arrive after the museum reopened. As usual, we left later than planned. Also usual, we got lost in the sidewalk-street driving and were even later. Get to the museum just before 5...and it’s closed. (We thought it was supposed to open at 4.) At 5:01 a frustrated woman arrives to reopen the museum (thinking, “lame, early Germans!”) and we enter. She seems gruff, uninterested, and annoyed by us. You know, typical European museum staff. But we were so wrong. By the time we finished touring the museum, she was explaining things and smiling and she even gave the kids little sheep keychain souvenirs.

    Casar makes a very strong, pungent, soft cheese “tort”. Casar was a stopping point along the shepherding route from southern to northern Spain. The town began to make a hard sheep cheese, but when it failed, it made a soft cheese that spoiled quickly without refrigeration. Of course with time, the “failure” became a delicacy and now “Torta de Casar” is a sought after cheese exported worldwide.

    We left Casar after the museum and stopped in the county seat of Cáceres. Unimpressed by the honking local drivers and the Atlantic City feel...we returned to Trujillo. But not before the tire warning light came on in the car🤦‍♀️ THAT is not the fun story for today. Blah, blah, blah, but after a nice Spanish gas station attendant checked our tires a million times...I think they were all overinflated and the sensor is set wrong.

    The good story comes AFTER the tires. You may think it was Maria hitting the castle wall, but NO! That was the previous story! Pay attention! 😂

    THIS is the story...

    The following morning we went on a walking tour of Trujillo which ended at the castle (ie...our car park;)) I thought we should check the tires to confirm the sensor was not showing a real problem after all. We checked the tires, photographed the ding in the bumper from the castle wall, and parked the car in a better position. We left. We napped, we swam, we went out for drinks and tapas, we slept for the night, we repacked, we checked out from the hotel the this morning, and:
    Melinda: “You have the keys. You never gave them back to me after we moved the car.”
    Maria: “😳. I don’t have the keys.”

    Maria is not sure how to introduce this...or begin the story...or...but in the end, Maria made Ian go check the car, and... he found the key, on the front seat of our Audi A4 (for which we purchased no extra insurance)...and...needless to say...the car was unlocked. Maria doesn’t know if that is the funny part, or the fact that Ian then took the keys and LOCKED the car. Because, I mean, you got away with 24 hours unlocked with the keys on the front seat, but... Ian takes no chances😂

    So, pretty much, that ONE candle I lit for hopeless causes? Got. my. money’s. worth.🙌
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  • Wrong turn at Alburquerque...

    29 de junio de 2018, España ⋅ ☀️ 23 °C

    When Maria was 8, she was so proud of herself because she could finally spell “Albuquerque”...and then her family moved. She felt wronged because all of that work was for nothing. Now 30+ years later, she learned that it really could have been worse...she could have had to learn to spell it with an extra R.

    Maria made the whole group go to Alburquerque, Spain in the Badajoz region of the Extremadura. She was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico which is named for the Duke of Alburquerque...but spelled incorrectly. Many theories abound, but likely...the Portuguese spelling was adopted because who the heck can pronounce Alburquerque?!?

    In summary, people from Albuquerque, NM are likely the only tourists Alburquerque, Spain ever sees. It’s not an ugly place. It has a lovely castle that apparently is renovated but rarely opens. Sometimes apparently an old man will let you into the cathedral if he happens to be sitting outside it, but not this day. And when the tourist office opened, we were directed to ancient cave paintings which clearly, by the grass covered boardwalk and the derelict sign, hadn’t been visited in decades. We saw no drawings at all. The best part is that the pamphlet shows these great ancient drawings and the tourist office lady pretends that she’s seen them in her adult life...all of this to get two miserable mujeres to hike up a big hill. At least the people of Alburquerque were very friendly and kind...those who showed their faces to us.

    There was a bookstore that was supposed to open after siesta and never did. Poor Mirabel of Libreria Mirabel will never know the quantity of Alburquerque souvenirs she could have moved had she opened that fateful Friday afternoon!😂

    Next up: A day in Portugal.
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  • Evora

    1 de julio de 2018, Portugal ⋅ ⛅ 15 °C

    Last year the Gairs and Alice tried to visit as many UNESCO sites in Portugal as possible, and we missed Evora. The Heiners visited its Spanish counterpart, Mérida, and were amazed. Maria and Melinda decided to detour quickly into Portugal for a few days to visit Evora. The city and the streets are picturesque, from Roman times, and TINY! On the way in Maria had to turn around in a parking lot the size of a Costco pizza (and on a slope, of course), and on the way out, a Portuguese man randomly crossing in front of Maria had stop to guide her out. The street was ok, until one tiny little keyhole no wider than the car. Forget the Bible parable about the camel and the needle...try threading an Audi through a Portuguese street!

    Evora is enchanting. It has whitewashed houses. Roman temples. Churches with towers. A chapel made of bones (*highlight!*). An aqueduct. And just out of town...some ancient standing stones. We took the map, walked the town, and checked off the list...ending the day with an amazing meal for which we were squeezed into the restaurant at the end of the evening.

    Maria’s mom would be so jealous that the bougainvilleas grow like weeds there and the town is decorated with purple, flowering trees. Obrigada, Evora. We must return soon.
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  • Obrigada!

    1 de julio de 2018, España ⋅ 🌧 17 °C

    Well, we dropped the kids at Spanish science camp...our work here is done. After getting them settled in a Jesuit boarding school where they will spend the next two weeks, Melinda and Maria drove north from Spain, through Portugal, and popping out on top in Spain again.

    We only stopped to pay tolls. The last automated toll booth we went through FIVE credit cards (all unable to read) before having to resort to the last of our cash. After taking a full ten minutes at the booth and making someone wait behind, the automated voice chirped out, “Obrigada!!!” (Thank you!!!) before finally letting us through.

    Portugal has the worst drivers. They tailgate, pass with no room for error, and cut back in too close for comfort. Surprisingly, we only saw the remains of three accidents. These people are seriously nuts. But we made it. 6+ hours with no pit stops. We were armed with junk food and the will to get to our destination in one piece.

    We drove through the area of the fires from last year. I had read that many of the dozens who died were returning from vacations in Spain. I can see how that happened, and it’s horrifying to see the destruction. Ironically, I’m listening to the rain fall now. We are in the north where it often rains, but unlike last year, this year the rain is all the way south. The burn scar is already green.

    We are now in A Guarda. Melinda was proud that she reserved a garage space at the hotel. 1) a parking garage in Spain is always bad news and 2) of course it’s two blocks away, so it didn’t protect us from the rain!😂

    Melinda had the directions. Her Spanish is fabulous and she even had a drawing. However she missed “there are two garage doors” (ok, she heard that but didn’t fully understand it until too late.) We drive in the door and don’t go up because it was “street level”...so Maria turns the corner and Melinda has to help by getting out and guiding. After getting around the first corner, there is another...and it’s going down😳 A man tries to yell for us, but he’s too late. He simply sighs and says, “She will have to turn around. It’s easier to go up, but she must stay as far right as possible.”

    Maria may have cried a little. She may have wanted to walk away...or just die. The only reason she made it down is that the garage wall has been chipped away to give a few inches more room. She didn’t know how she could get out. Is there a Coast guard-like service for parking garages?!?! Maria turned the car around and edged up the ramp. It was so steep and so tight that she had to hold the clutch for far too long and far too often. There was no wiggle room. No letting the clutch out and rolling at. All. There was no going forward too fast. An inch a minute was too fast. Maria might smell like burning clutch for the rest of the trip😂

    I don’t know how we did it, but the Audi is out of the basement with not a scratch (yet...someone still can hit it tonight while it’s “safely” parked.) Maybe it helps that we are staying at a converted convent and Mary is right outside our door😂 You might get photos later, if we can face photographing the space. We are in shock right now. It’s 2:38 am. Maria’s personal best. She’s going to sleep and pray there are no parking garage Dreams! (Maybe she’ll dream of Costco and its enormous parking spaces😂)

    And...by the way...we don’t know from where that man came or to where he went. Patron Saint of parking maybe?!?!
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  • Cloistered

    2 de julio de 2018, España ⋅ 🌫 18 °C

    Well, we’ve done it...we are in a convent. No, of course not a real convent...they’d never let us into a real convent😂

    We are just north of Portugal in a town called A Guarda. It’s a tiny little port on the coast just north of Portugal and just south of Vigo.

    Day 1 was quite lazy. I think we were mostly getting over the trauma of night one’s parking fiasco. In the end, we had some fish for lunch, drove a bit up the coast, and spent some time cloistered in our room.

    The hotel is a converted 16th century convent. We are in Briolanja’s room. Briolanja only lasted a year here...that may explain why they thought it the perfect room for Melinda and Maria OR why we hear a bird that squawks like it’s being strangled...did she fail convent or die in a convent?😳
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  • Porto

    3 de julio de 2018, Portugal ⋅ ⛅ 19 °C

    Last year the Gairs crashed a lovely wedding with Alice in Porto, Portugal. We had a tour, tasting and dinner at Graham’s Port Lodge in Gaia. We drove up through Portugal Sunday and Maria thought we could stop on the way. Luckily, She changed plans and decided to make a day trip instead. First, we were too late on Sunday...and secondly, the “parking garage incident” would have been even more tragic. Melinda is already having nightmares about that night. Imagine if we had been hours later...shudder.

    We are staying about an hour and a half north of Porto. Graham’s let us park the car at the lodge before our tour and dinner reservations, so once we found the place, we left the car and caught a bus into town.

    Maria wanted to show Melinda the train station. Melinda was all, “what?!?!” But then Melinda saw the entire interior covered in painted tile. She understood. The São Benito train station is a masterpiece. We then headed to the Majestic Café (Art Deco from the 20’s) for a snack, saw a pretty church, and wandered a bit before heading back with the bus to Graham’s.

    Graham’s was how I remembered...a great tour, fantastic tawny ports, and we stayed for a four hour dinner at the Restaurant. Ah, Porto...you are a lovely city. We are now trying to figure out how to fit that bottle of Port (pictured with Maria) into our suitcase. I mean...Maria read that each adult can carry one bottle home!

    Next up...some wine and a Celtic ruin.
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  • You can walk to the top...

    4 de julio de 2018, España ⋅ ⛅ 18 °C

    A few truths have been revealed from our internet searching whilst here in Galicia: 1) There are twice as many sites listed to visit than truly exist. This is because things are often known by a “Gallego” (Galician) name and a Castilliano (Spanish) one and 2) People reviewing lodging options (especially Brits and Americans) want a. more toaster availability with breakfast, b. more English TV channels, and c. wider, flatter roads. Me? I would just like the crazy squawking bird to STOP it outside my window at 4 am...well, and maybe wider roads. I think I’ll write a review of the Convent hotel complaining of birds😂 But my point is... People, when traveling, try to be more flexible and open minded.

    But about those roads...There is an ancient Celtic settlement two miles from town straight up a mountain. The guide books all say you can walk😂 We read that you can drive but the road is really narrow and steep. So, of course, we planned to just miss the entire thing😂 Finally a Brit reviewer told it how it is...He walked it...his wife refused to go...he said a 10 Euro taxi would have been “well worth” the trip, so we drove. The entire drive Melinda kept saying, “WHY would anyone walk this???” Those people who reviewed that the road was “steep and narrow”? They are clearly new here. That road was a four lane highway compared to what we’ve been on.

    So, we made it to the top. Monte Santa Trega (Castro de Santa Tecla) is perched above A Guarda on a hill that overlooks the Miño River and Portugal. It comprises 6 of the top 8 things to do here by being listed by different names😂 It’s kind of a big deal. Castro De Santa Trega was a Celtic Village of about 3-4,000 people. We made it to the site near sunset and through the fog, the views were amazing.

    Earlier in the day (and by earlier, I mean 6 pm😂), we visited a winery of the Rias Baixas wine growing region. They produce white wines, often from Albariño grapes. We took a tour, did a tasting, and bought more wine than likely will fit in our suitcases. It was a good day.

    Tomorrow: Back to Portugal because Maria was taught to be really frugal.
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  • One more time with feeling...Portugal

    5 de julio de 2018, Portugal ⋅ ⛅ 20 °C

    Maria’s dad taught her to be ridiculously cheap. Drive for gas that’s 10 cents cheaper. Never use more postage than absolutely necessary (actually, that’s her mom.) Portugal has the weirdest toll system around. In much of the country there is the normal toll booth and one can manually pay a toll, but on certain roads one can only pay electronically. It’s very confusing to figure out which roads have which system. You have to either enter Portugal at one of four designated entry sites or you have to set it up online. It took an entire morning to set up it seemed...Maria calculated the needed toll, paid it, and then drove on different roads🤦‍♀️.

    The short story is...I had 7 dollars of prepaid toll burning a hole in my pocket...so we went back to Portugal! This time to Vila do Conde...a lovely seaside town known for ship building during Portugal’s Age of Discovery and one of the earliest known settlements in Portugal. It has a river that runs into the sea, some lovely beaches, and it’s not known well outside Portugal.

    Again, we didn’t get a super early start. Luckily Portugal is an hour behind Spain, but even with that, we barely made lunch before it closed😂 A walk around the center square, a visit to a tiled chapel, and a drink on the beach, followed by a stroll, completed our day.

    Tomorrow: Great plans to wake before 10😂 and travel to the Beach of the Cathedrals! It’s already 2:30am, so Maria needs to get off to bed!
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