Hungry Like The Wolf

Back in May after my father's funeral, I set out one humid morning armed with a map provided by my cousin Hercules to find my great grandmother's grave in the historic Bukit Brown cemetery. Unfortunately, x didn't mark the spot, and after a lot of traipsing around overgrown graves, I gave up. More info here: https://findpenguins.com/69wt4noajyp9d/footprin…

Soon after that failed quest, I joined a Facebook group for Bukit Brown and I put up a post asking for help locating the grave. The amateur historians on that site immediately found it. My cousin was also on that Facebook group, and he volunteered to take me to the grave. Then, someone else from the group named Grace piped in and said that Chia Swee Peck Neo was her great great grandmother. After some investigating, we established that Grace is my mother's father's brother's son's son's daughter (I’ll just refer to her as my distant niece; it’ll take too much brain damage to try and qualify our exact relationship!). She had visited the grave more recently than my cousin and she volunteered to join us.

On the afternoon of September 26th, Hercules, Grace, and I met at Tan Kah Kee MRT Station and made our way via Grab to Bukit Brown. Because of construction in the area, the online map was rather confusing and the poor Grab driver had to make a big circuit before depositing us at the cemetery entrance. From there, it was a 15 minute walk to the iconic landmark grave with the statues of Sikh guards. Back in May, I spent quite a bit of time looking in the area uphill from that grave as Hercules had marked that area as the location of our great grandmother's grave.

Once we hit the grave with the Sikh guard statues, Grace was able to quickly locate the grave, which turned out to be a little bit further west from the spot Hercules had marked for me. When we found it, it was illuminated by a sunbeam; it was as if my great grandmother was telling us she was happy we came to visit. We paid our respects by bowing to her three times per Chinese tradition, and then we examined the various features of the grave. I specifically looked for my mother's name on the right arm of the tomb. My mother was an infant when her grandmother died, and she and my late Aunty Nancy are listed as descendants on the tomb. When it was time to depart, we again bowed to our ancestor three times before leaving.

While we were at Bukit Brown, we also looked at some signboards explaining the symbols on these graves, as well as a bit of the history of the cemetery, which has its roots in colonial times. I learned a lot from the signboards.

This was a great day out and I cannot thank my cousin and niece enough for taking the time to help me get a little closer to my roots.

A few words about my great grandmother:

- Her name was Mrs. Lim Koh Seng nee Madam Chia Swee Peck Neo.

- She married into the Lim family, which we suspect were a well-to-do Peranakan family.

- She passed away on August 22, 1935.

- Her obituary in the Straits Times said she was 79 years old when she died, but her burial record said she was 76. Her age on her tombstone is a little eroded, but it looks like it says 76. Either way, it must have been rare to live to that age at that time.

- She had six sons and two daughters listed on her tombstone, but her obituary listed seven daughters-in-law and three sons-in-law. I later learned that only living descendants are listed on the tombs, and that one daughter predeceased her, which explains why there are two daughters and three sons-in-law listed. I also learned that one son had two wives, which explains the additional daughter-in-law.

- Her tombstone says she had 13 grandsons and 19 granddaughters, but her obituary said she had 44 grandchildren. I can’t account for the discrepancy. I shudder to think that she may have buried as many as 12 grandchildren in addition to the daughter she outlived. That must have been heartbreaking. There is also a pomegranate adornment on her grave which symbolizes having had many descendants.

- The Chinese characters at the top of her headstone indicate that her ancestral village is in Haicheng County in Fujian.

- Her tomb adornments include what I think are inkwells or maybe scrolls, which in turn suggest that she was educated. That must have been unusual for women of that era.

- I'm not aware of what religion she followed, if any. I later learned that her daughter's tomb features a prominent cross.

- Other tomb adornments included two tomb guardians (one male and one female), and a small shrine on the side to an earth deity.

- The markings on the tomb were in both English and Chinese. I'm not sure if she spoke English, but her offspring most certainly did.

Post-Publication Note (December 2023): My cousin and niece uncovered more distant relatives and they provided us with what is believed to be a photo of my great grandmother's funeral in 1935, as well as a photo of her. I've added them to this entry. One of the Bukit Brown enthusiasts also published a blog on her: https://mymindisrojak.blogspot.com/2023/06/mrs-…Read more