Angharad Dowse

I resigned from my job giving a months notice in November - Will got the job offer in December. So, I have spent the last 2 months doing shit all being unemployed waiting for this day.
It’s actually been really unenjoyable. The not working at a soul-sucking job part is fabulous but everything else is bleh. I have felt very stuck and have just wanted to leave. Waiting is no fun.
Also the not having a job and therefor no money to do exciting things combined with covid restrictions and most friends working during the day has make me bored. Also a major point to my unhappiness has been living with Jess and Jax. Eternally grateful that they took us, cannot ever thank Jess enough - but have also loathed living there these last 4 months. (There about 10 months all up).
The amount of back and forth yelling causes me so much stress I can feel my blood pressure lol. I’ve never been able to feel my blood pressure before. Lol.
Have felt contained to our 2 rooms because I didn’t want to interact for my own mental health.
(Intention not to whinge but remind self of how delighted I am to be leaving and why. As I said, so genuinely grateful.)

We had originally planned to move to Brisbane in maybe 12-18 months but after a few answered prayers, Will got the offer and we jumped at it.
He has secured a 10K pay rise and it will be less work. Hurrah.
They are also paying for us to move which will savers thousands in the long run. 🕺🏻

However the big stress for me has been getting there. Originally it was looking very likely that we would have to do 2 week hotel quarantine to get across the border.
That thankfully got canned and borders opened up.
I think I could do it myself but I would hate to be in a box with a cranky Will for 2 weeks.
We also would have had to have paid for someone to trailer my car across the border as we were originally required to fly in.
Once borders opened our new plan was to drive across the border as usual - until Will got told he had to drive his Ute up, leaving me to be the solo driver of my car. 😬😬😬
As I have never driven past Gosford, this was unwelcomed news.

Which leads us to today 25.2.21.

I had a horrendous nights sleep. Woke up to every noise and leaf russle. 🙄
I woke up with a thumping headache and to a weather forecast of thunderstorms.

Cue 2 separate cries.
One to Will as he said goodbye to me and one to Helen.
I was so worried.
It was 8 am (an indication of my quality of sleep if I’m up and bright eyed at that hour.)
And I decided fuck it, try beat the storm.
Said bye to Bill and Helen - smashed 2 panadols, bought neurofen and big water, had 2 of them and got in my way.

The first leg to heatherbrae was fine. I get randomly attached to the cars driving with/near me. They become like a security blanket. I don’t like losing them or seeing them turn off the highway.
I played music stupidly loud but thankful did a very minimal amount of choreography in my head. I had some murder podcasts ready to go but music was passing the time well enough.
When I got to McDonald’s I cried. I looked over and Imagined/felt God sitting in the seat next to me keeping me safe. Made it. 😭

NEEDED TO PEE.
A genuinely sensational wee was had.

I wasn’t danger tired tired but I was tired, and when I entered settlement city into the gps it was too far away for my mental perseverance to handle so instead I chose a rest stop closer to set the gps to.
I stopped in to get nana her 4 vegetable pasties at heatherbrae pies and then continued on until I got to the rest stop.
Got out to stretch my legs and looked up next rest point to get to.
An hour later I pulled into the next stop and did the same thing except this time I was close enough I could handle how far away port was - still an hour but an hour isn’t as scary.

Drive drive drive.
Made it to Port. 🎉
I have a tv and laptop in the car and Nana’s garage isn’t available so hopefully they don’t overheat or get stolen. 🙃🙃🙃
Went in to say hi to nana.
Gave her her pasties and ring box I scored her. She wasted no time putting her ring in 🤣
(Background story is after we got engaged mum and I drove up to port to show her the ring, she hardly cared about my ring but was beside herself over the light in my ring box and took it so she could look at her own jewelry sparkle in it 😂
So i told her I would try get her one, which I did ☺️)
I then went and had a 2 hour sleep cause I was exhausted.
Not much news about the rest of the day, just enjoying hanging out with nana.
She made delicious cutlets and come veggies for dinner.
It’s near enough to Easter that I am genuine SHOCKED she hasn’t tried to force feed me hot cross buns.

I was in the shower and I could hear her yelling for me - I thought she might have fallen or something so I hastily went to her still in my towel.
She wanted to show me bats. 🙄🙄
Granted, it was very cool, like a migration but don’t use that panic stricken tone 🤣
She is disappointed I missed the first bit - she said there were millions and from the tail end I did see, millions is likely.

I’m now in bed. I’ve booked us a hotel in coffs harbor tomorrow - I’ll meet Will there.
I want to see the big banana.

26.2.21
Nana took me to get petrol to refill my car and it only cost $25 she could hardly believe it. “I’ve never heard of such a thing” 😆
She gave me another $50 in cash because she felt like I hadn’t spent enough. 😂
To pass time before I left we half talked about her dying.
I grew balls today and asked “are you ready” and she replied yep. So that will help me when it comes.
She doesn’t think she is good enough for heaven “i hope he lets me... I reckon he’ll let me in”
Went on to talk about how she feeds the birds and that is kindness lol.

Did our goodbyes and I love you’s. I think she loves it. Her face completely lights up when I go to hug her. I don’t think anyone else is overly emotional with her. I said I love you very much and she said basically at the same time I love you SO much.
I think we both know it can always be the last time. But she doesn’t bother saying with mum or anyone else. Just our thing. 😭😭
We walked down to the garage and I gave her a final cuddle. She loves it 🥰
Waved to her from the car and drove off.

Car had a bloody hissy fit. Air on switched off and started blowing super hot air, music skitzed it, gps shut off and phone wouldn’t connect.
At least it was a straight line so I wasn’t overly stressed and had time to fix the issue.
Still I was stressed Will was gonna call me and my car would startle me with a volume level 100 ringtone and make me crash lol.

Drive was about 2 hours - made it to coffs - met Will at our motel.

Will did some work - sent emails and stuff.

We then went to the big banana and got the token photo.
We then went to the local shopping centre for food. Lots and lots of shop options.

Just hung out at the motel and organized 3 house inspections for Tuesday.

Currently watching friends. Will sleeping.

One of the motel rules is confusing. The microwave is for heating and NOT for cooking.
...Wot.

Not loving the random noises I can hear outside. Feeling very close to other guests.

27.2.21

Will never woke back up last night so he was better rested than I. He had a solid 15 hours give it take. Lucky bastard.
I felt ok though.
Psyched myself out again though and needed a hug before we got on our way.

I saw 2 WILD emus. Bonkers. Like obviously they are a native wild bird but it also never occurred to me.... 😅😅 Especially to be near a highway.
Will saw them too.
I was so Intrigued when I looked back down I had somehow got up to 130km/ph.
Then started to have an argument in my head about the pronunciation with an American.
Then started practicing the conversation I’d have with the police officer when I got pulled over for speeding.

Honestly a miracle I am alive and writing this.

Stopped in at first rest stop but didn’t get out. Just changed gps to new location. Still doing the hour by hour thing for mental strength.

Did get out at Ballina service stop to get petrol then kept driving.
Didn’t mind today’s drive - this half is way more beautiful that the drive to port.
I did however mind the last hour.

Crossed over into QLD (got somewhat emotional) as then hit the traffic.
Fuck off QLD.
Suddenly on 5 lane highways where no one is doin the whole “keep left unless overtaking thing”
To difficult to explain scenarios but long story short there roads made me so stressed and mad.
WHY IS THERE AN L PLATER IN THE RIGHT HAND LANE ON A 6 LANE HIGHWAY.
Constantly in the wrong lane which is normally ok but NOT HERE. Being in the wrong lane can mean you are 4 lanes away from where you need to be and have 5 seconds to to fix the problem.
Also no one lets you in OR thanks you if you let them in.

This is just the start of a stressful self discovery journey I’m sure. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

MADE IT.
No parking on street and someone in our garage spot. 😬
So we took minimal bags inside.
Blah blah - we went to the closest woolies which happened to be in the cbd... and cost us $16 for parking hahaha youuuu beaaauuutyyyy
Fuck off lol.
Bought like $200 worth off food so I can avoid having to drive for a few days. Will definitely be going to a different woolies next time lol.
From what I have seen Brisbane cbd is a lovely area.
Back at bnb and I set up the apartment- we left a note on the car in the garage in our spot and when we got back thankfully it was gone so we were able to take the tv and remaining stuff in my car up.
The evening adventures included cooking some vegetables (loving pumpkin and onion atm)
Then there was a fire alarm but it sounded like next door until suddenly... nope... definitely is not next door haha.
No fucks were given by Will. I made him evacuate though.
We are level 8 so had to take a few flights of stairs down where heaps of people were waiting outside. Fire engine there but gave us the all clear so back up we went.

I have spoken to more building residents today/members of public than I have spoken to in Sydney in last month lol. Bunch of Chatty Cathy’s.

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I’d like to take this moment to complain about how many double round abouts there were on the way to get here.

Apartment view is lovely.

I actually beat Will to Brisbane which surprised everyone. No one more than me 🤣
He got out and had food while I just went through the drive through at ballina.

Said bye to mum and dad 24.2.21. Cried and said I love you to both. Didn’t cry when going to Europe, but our current intentions is that this is permanent making it a bigger deal.Okumaya devam et