Maimón (D. M.).

Jolly Roger Pirate Invasion H3 – Amber Cove (DR)

It was our final stop, and all eyes were on our hares . . . Feels Up Screams, Math Sucks, Skeletwhore, and Just Alex as we pulled into Amber Cove (our second stop in the Dominican Republic). We waited patiently for the appointed time to arrive, and we all gathered round. Blow and Go was RA for the day, and sent the hares off in a cloud of flour and ankles akimbo. Trail snaked its way along the path (stay on the path damnit), and out onto the main road.

The turkeys went left, and the runners went right and on down the way, turned right again and headed towards the beach. At this point is when Lifa found the check back from hell, which consumed him . . . and it appears most of the pack for some time. One highly intelligent hasher turned left at this point, and found true trail. Hollering back to the pack, Wet Muscle started to follow, and then for some totally unknown reason turned around and went back to play on the back check for another 20 minutes. The highly intelligent hasher, thinking the rest of the pack was just behind him and would soon be catching up, continued on down the old dirt road.

Come to find out, Wet Muscle later stated, she DID NOT TRUST the highly intelligent hasher . . . WTF?!?!?! While the rest of the pack played around looking for trail, that one hasher made his way all the way back to the port, where the trails merged and made their way down to the beach, just across the bay from the boat. Copious amounts of beer were sipped, with great anticipation of the circle to be had.

Once the pack straggled in, Blow and Go took over again, and passed out the down downs . . . UNTIL . . . Inflate-a-date stepped into circle, and pausing several times considering how he was going speak, what words to use (which I am sure he had juggled around in his mind for months) . . . he finally just spoke from the heart, and with the Grease theme playing in all our minds (You’re the one that I want, whooo whooo whooo) . . . he took one knee in front of Feels Up Screams, with a small box containing a big rock . . . and in a sheepish voice proclaimed . . . I brought a cooler, can you make me a sammich babe . . . NO, he proudly exclaimed WILL YOU MARRY ME? Then it was all Love Boat theme . . . Awww, love is in the air, do do do, DODO dodo. Love is in the air . . . CONGRATS to the two lovebirds.

As they staggered off to the corner to copulate, the rest of the pack either jumped in the bay, or gathered round to sing some hash songs. And then that time finally arrived, it was time to get back on the boat to make the final sail back to Miami . . . and it was Tiny Tim at the end of the Christmas Carol . . . God Bless Us One and All.

But that is not the end of the story, there are still some goofy shit to take place on our last day at sea . . . See you there, On On.Read more