Mexico
Esmeralda K

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    • Day 5

      Coco Beach Club

      February 9, 2022 in Mexico ⋅ ⛅ 81 °F

      I just checked into Coco Beach Club, and I could absolutely get used to this! The servers are very kind and attentive; mine's name is Victor. The minimum consumption spend here is $50 to enjoy this gorgeous and very instagram worthy spot! I will be spending the rest of my day here 😌

      Last night I went to Oscar and Lalo for dinner and to give Virginia her gifts. She seemed really excited for her evil eye bracelet, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy and I showed her that I had a matching one. When I arrived she was eating with Ernesto, the owner of the tour company that she sometimes works for, he was a real treat to get to meet. He offered me what was left of his ceviche which was PERFECT because I could not for the life of me decide between that and the cochinita pibil.. So this way I got to start with a little ceviche and finish with a huge plate of mayan pulled pork 😜 She was very tired from doing a tour with 12 people all day and one very rambunctious little 6 year old boy. Oscar walked in also exhausted from trying to get something on the van fixed that the repair guys just scammed him out of the money and left the problem. I had never seen them both so sleepy before. When I finished eating I helped Virginia wash her snorkel gear for the clients. It was really nothing much, but she was so grateful for the assistance. I was just grateful for the opportunity to do something anything at all for her! I wish I could do more.. when the opportunity comes, I'll be ready!

      I headed back to Andreas about 9pm. When I got there I was determined to smoke as much weed as possible and pass right out! I've been not smoking very much with all my illnesses and brought way too much with me! I just remembered that I have these micro doses to take! I just popped one here at Coco 😉 I could literally do a different beach club every day and be such a happy girl! One month is not enough time in this whimsical place. One day I will have infinite funding and do this every day of the year.

      I dont know how I will keep up with editing all of the INCREDIBLE photos I've been taking.
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    • Day 5

      In my feels

      February 9, 2022 in Mexico ⋅ ⛅ 77 °F

      I'm in my feels... You know I've had the most amazing month of my life. I wasn't always this happy and free. I used to think I could never make it this way or that I could never be enough or make enough money or feel this happy. I used to criticize my body so much that I would rather die young, sad, starving, and skinny than feel so imperfect and unworthy of happiness/comfort/life changing experiences. I was suicidal. I tried. More than once. 🙃Thankfully, as you can see, I'm here, I failed. I had no hope and seemingly nothing to live for. No interesting future to look forward to. I kept a stash of syringes that I stole from doctors offices hidden in my room just for the comfort of knowing that if I decided to, I could fill one with air and stop all this emotional pain I didnt know how to deal with in an instant. I've been there. Today, it shakes and disturbes me to the core to know that I could have missed all this. I could have missed all these opportunities, connections, experiences, and self-love and acceptance that I could not see ahead of me back then. It's all here now. Everything that I never knew was meant for me. I thank my support system for encouraging me to keep going. Without my parents and therapists over the years, I don't know that I would have put in the work it takes to move forward from a place like that. It isn't easy. Sometimes, it feels impossible. I'm here to tell you that it is ALWAYS worth it. Keep going. Try to make each day better than the last. Sometimes, you will fail, and sometimes, you will find success beyond your wildest imagination. Both are good. They say there are countless failures behind every "success" and I have found that statement to be the most true. You can not truly know success until you have failed (sometimes miserably) and rebuilt or (as I prefer to say) "rediscovered" what works. If you are feeling discouraged or down on your feelings, I want you to know that every step forward COUNTS. Every time you try is a success in and of itself. Small victories over time stack up and eventually make giant strides in the right direction. Keep making small steps and small victories. You deserve it. There are people in this world who love to see you happy. If not for you, try for them. <3Read more

    • Day 70

      6.10 Sometimes its just about relaxing

      November 1, 2018 in Mexico ⋅ ⛅ 30 °C

      Beach in Tulum is not super nice, but it’s very good to relax.

      Very nice and expensive beach restaurants and bars!

    • Day 6

      Back at Cocos

      February 10, 2022 in Mexico ⋅ 🌧 75 °F

      As I was leaving Cocos last night, I had to stop and turn back around a couple of times. I must have tried to leave twice but couldn't pull myself away from the beauty of the beach behind me. I finally decided I needed to just sit on a beach chair and stay until it was too dark to see. There was only one clean chair, and it was right next to a quite hunky guy. I sat down and said, "I can't leave. How do you leave this place? I tried to leave 3 times." He was nice enough, and we started chatting it up. He said well at least stay until sunset. I said yeah, that was a good idea. We talked about business and travel. He is from Australia and has the sexiest accent. We never ran out of things to chat about. He said he was also traveling alone for about 6 months now and had an online fitness coaching business that charges $1200 for 3 months membership. Incredible. So he invited me to go for a walk down the beach, which felt ridiculously cheesy, but I said yeah, sure. We just kept talking and vibing. It was awesome. His name is Jake, and he asked me what I had planned to do with the rest of my night. I told him I planned to grab a shower and then head up to Playa to try and find the thieves who stole my favorite clothes out of my rental car trunk and get them back. He was surprised, understandably, but invited me for a drink after our showers, and I was honestly kind of excited to ditch my recon mission to talk with him some more. It took what felt like forever to get back to my room. When I arrived, I had a text from him saying he was going to dinner with his friend from Peru at 930, but we could get a drink beforehand. Unfortunately, I wouldn't make it back down there in time, so we rescheduled for today. I was a little tired anyway, so I took my shower and headed to Walmart in Playa, where my car was broken into. I searched the trash bins and asked security where I should look. They didn't know where but told me that the problem is that the thieves work with the car rental agencies and have keys that will open the doors, and it's a big problem there. I eventually felt discouraged and gave up, let it go. I booked it back to tulum to try and get some dominos before bed. They were not making anything more for the night but offered me a pepperoni that just came out of the oven. I took it back to my room and ate what I could. I was wide awake from all the cocoffees that I drank at the beach club and started a Netflix show about crazy cat people hunting down a cat killer on the internet. It had me glued to the screen. I was so mad at this suspect. I smoked a ridiculous amount of weed outside and fell asleep eating Kinder Bueno chocolate and gummy skittles.
      Today, I went to 5 different beach clubs to check them out to see if I could find something comparable to Cocos but different... they were all subpar. I stopped at Papaya Playa, Taboo, Tantra, Selina, and Azulik, and none of them came close to having the excellent vibe that I found yesterday. Jake was there hanging out, so I said hello to him but wanted to keep my pillow paradise, so I went back to my spot to wait for my guacamole that I had ordered to arrive. It was delicious and served with these thin and crispy banana chips that I fell in love with! I never saw Jake again, even though he said he would come say bye before he headed back up to his apartment in Playa. Whatever. I ate more mushrooms earlier and have just been having the most splendid time with myself, going over all the photos on both phones all day. It's going to take a long time to make them all fancy in light room, but I'm here for it and can do it on the travel day tomorrow as well.
      Tonight, I'm going to go to see Virginia at her restaurant one last time before my super sad departure. I could spend another week here and probably another one after that and so on. I'm just waiting for the sunset to cast its gorgeous colors on the beach clouds one more time. It's 5:55 so should happen in about 30 minutes.
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