Ban Khlong Top

Considering everything we had a fantastic sleep, there must be something to be said for velour sheets!

In bed I started to research for the previous days blog. I ended up on TripAdvisor that offered me the opportunity to write a review for last nights disastrous meal. Below is my review:-

‘Awful Dinner & Owner with Bad Attitude
We have been in Thailand for over a month & this was our worst meal by a mile. The food and drink are overpriced. My wife enquired if the crab dish was still in it’s shell & was told no it was just crab meat in a curry paste. When it arrived it was a small crab still it’s shell & very little meat. The yellow curry was bland with just 3 minuscule pieces of chicken, but lots of chunks of carrot. To top it all, when the bill arrived, they tried to charge us for 2 beers that we didn’t have. The western owner was very dismissive when we explained why the crab was returned virtually untouched & that we had been over charged.. It is no wonder that his restaurant was half empty compared to the other restaurants along the beach’.

With that off my chest, we headed for the beach only to discover that Soul Kitchen was closed. We had planned to sit on it’s beds all day, so not a good start. Instead, we set up nearby & I went for a run along the beach. Thirty minutes later, I returned gasping for water, so Jackie went to buy a bottle from crazy man at CharleeBarley’s Bar, who gave her a small bottle of water free because he didn’t know how to use the till.

Recovered, I went off in search of more liquid & found a smoothie bar. The guy in front of me was wearing just a pair of pink Muay Thai shorts. It turned out he was English and comes out to Ko Lanta each winter to train & fight for Nicha Muay Thai Gym. He had had 3 fights & 3 wins by knockout so far this season. He was only 59 kilos, but I wouldn’t be fighting him. Before he left, he kindly let me taste his smoothie which was delicious, so I ordered a couple of the same.

The Thai lady making the smoothies, made the 1st one & put it down between us, but it was about to topple, so we both went to grab it. I got to it first, but unfortunately I squeezed too hard & a jet of orange smoothie ejaculated from the hole in the top, some landing on me, but the Thai lady’s face & chest were dripping in the orange goo. After apologies all round & a clean up, she made the 2nd & I finally returned to Jackie.

Due to flying sand we took a bed outside Blue Moon Bar & Restaurant, then had a stroll to the shorter end of the beach, then had lunch back at Blue Moon. We went western, with a club sandwich & a cheeseburger & a couple of beers each. The waiter felt obliged to inform Jackie that she had the most beautiful blue eyes. When the bill came they had omitted 2 beers & to my shame I didn’t correct the mistake.

After lunch, we walked to the long end of the beach still searching for our next hotel. We wandered in & around a few hotels & played toilet bingo. Jackie was all chuffed with herself about her ‘beautiful eyes’, she thought she was the bees knees until she realised that she had some stragglers poking out of her bikini bottoms!! How embarrassing, a shave would be required this evening.

Along the beach we found a hotel that was only half built, but had full infinity pools, so we stopped for a little cooling dip, which was quite surreal. After finally getting to the end of the beach, we headed back to Blue Moon. The beach, Klong Nin Beach, is approx 2 kilometres long, so having run & walked it several times, we had definitely burnt off our lunch.

At Happy Hour, I went & ordered some more drinks & the waiter asked me if I had had other drinks. I slightly offendedly explained that we had, but had paid for them at lunch. He didn’t seem convinced. After sunset, we took a visit to 7-11 to buy some ‘crap’.

That evening we went to a street restaurant called MaMas Style. Jackie selected a whole squid which they barbecued & served simply with just chilli sauce & a jacket potato. I had Massaman curry. It all beautiful, a thousand times better than the night before. We had a cheeky banana & milk roti on the way home.

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