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No SADness in Thailand
  • Simon and Jackie Annals
Dec 2021 – Sep 2025

No SADness in Thailand

Hopefully no Seasonal Affective Disorder for us by avoiding the weather, Christmas & the supermarket shortages in the UK by heading to Thailand for a 2 month holiday. Read more
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  • Trip start
    December 10, 2021
    Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Heathrow at dawn
    An empty Heathrow barReady for takeoffPhuket AirportPaperwork checkWrong hotelSent to our room with a ChangLunchThe blue dot at the bottom of the photo is our hotel

    Day 1 - Never in Doubt

    December 10, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 30 °C

    Fed up with the miserable English weather and having self diagnosed as suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, Jackie and I decided to head to South-East Asia for Christmas and New Year. After much research, the only country in that region was Thailand who was opening up it’s borders to foreign tourists from 4th November 2021.

    Apart from drawing up a broad itinerary for our 56 day trip, I can take no credit for all the planning & form filling that had to be done to make the trip possible. Jackie booked the flights, applied for Thai visas to allow us to stay over 30 days, then applied for a Thai Pass to prove we were double vaccinated and sufficiently insured. She also had to book a Covid PCR test to be taken not more 72 hours before we flew, a Thai Covid PCR test for when we landed and an approved Thai hotel for our first 24 hours in Thailand whilst we awaited the result the Thai Covid test results.

    If this wasn’t stressful enough for Jackie, I added to it by announcing that I had three gig nights in a row on the weekend before we were due to fly, which was potentially the worst thing I could do to enhance my chances of catching Covid. A positive PCR test would have meant cancelling our entire trip, but there was no way I was missing a 40th anniversary New Model Army bonanza of 60 songs over 2 nights. (The other gig was Nine Below Zero).

    Two days before our flight we duly had our PCR test & if we thought there was any chance of cheating the system, we were sadly mistaken. We had to show our passports as proof of identity & the staff actually performed the test on us through the car window. We were told we would be emailed the result at or before 10pm the following day.

    At 10pm the following evening we still hadn’t heard a thing. We went to bed an hour later with Jackie fretting like a good’un. I fell asleep, however my email confirming a negative result arrived at 0005 hours. Jackie, by now nauseous & hyperventilating, was apparently up emailing the testing company until after 1.30am, when they finally sent confirmation she was also negative. Hurrah!!

    At 3.30am the alarm went off & after a taxi & coach ride we were all checked in & in the airside bar at Heathrow Airport just five hours later. Heathrow T2 was virtually empty and absolutely no queues anywhere. A very pleasant experience.

    Our Thai Air flight TG919 on a Boeing 777 was only half full and the only thing I want to say about it was that the inflight service was very minimal - a small meal at either end of the 11 and a half hour flight with just one drinks service of wine or beer.

    It was around 6.40am local when we landed at Phuket International Airport and we discovered that we were the only flight in. Only half of the passengers on our flight were disembarking, the remainder were flying on to Bangkok. This made for a speedy dash through Arrivals, producing our reams of paperwork to the Health Authority, Immigration, Customs & then the Testing Centre, where staff in full Hazchem outfits performed another PCR test on us. Less than 40 minutes later, with all the formalities completed we headed to the exit with our rucksacks and were herded into a taxi to take us to our Phuket Airport Hotel just 600 metres from airport to await this latest PCR test result. Easy!!

    We spoke too soon. The taxi driver dropped us off at the Phuket Airport Place, but he was insistent it was the correct place. He then drove off without payment. We were gutted because it was a shithole, but luckily for us the receptionist confirmed we were in the wrong place & very kindly summoned the taxi driver back to take us to the very nice Phuket Airport Hotel. We still didn’t pay the taxi driver.

    The exceptionally helpful receptionist at our hotel, sorted us out with downloading the Thai equivalent of the NHS Covid app to our phones, explained how we would be informed of the PCR test result, then sent us to our room with a large bottle of Chang each.

    We slept until 3.30pm and discovered that shortly after 11.00am we had been emailed confirmation that we were negative & good to go to enjoy our trip. The final hoop had been jumped through.

    We celebrated by getting up for a cold beer with a late lunch. Our hotel didn’t serve food other than breakfast, but our exceptionally helpful receptionist ordered us a takeaway of chicken, basil & egg fried rice which he recommended. It arrived about 10 minutes later by moped and our two portions cost us a total of just £3. It was very nice AND very hot.

    We were still tired so went back to bed for a couple of hours before popping out in the evening for dinner. Our chosen restaurant, just around the corner, did not have an English menu and after several attempts we managed to order a Pad Thai & a chicken & cashew nuts with rice. This together with a banana & chocolate pancake for pudding and all washed down with 4 beers came to the princely sum of £10.

    The evening was finished on our balcony with a Hong Thong & Coke, whilst tentatively identifying our accommodation for Christmas Day.

    Song of the Day : So Sad About Us by The Jam.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Another tough day at the office
    DeliciousJust wrongTea before our eventual dinnerTetchy nightcap scene

    Day 2 - A Day of Plotting and Planning

    December 11, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 30 °C

    Woke up very early to the sad news that Thomas ‘Mensi’ Mensforth, legendary singer with the Angelic Upstarts had died from Covid. Followed soon after by the depressing, but unsurprising news that England had capitulated and lost the 1st Test in Australia.

    We should know better, but out of laziness we had the American Breakfast at our hotel, which seems to be the same throughout Thailand - an insubstantial plate of cold bacon & eggs with pale toast & jam. The only bonus was the free unlimited coffee.

    After breakfast, we booked a taxi and a bus for tomorrow to take us just over 200 miles up the coast to the town of Ranong which has a ferry port for the Thai islands in the Andaman Sea, just south of Myanmar. We also plotted our onward trip, identifying locations and hotels we wanted to stay at, now the world (Thailand) was our oyster. I booked a hotel for one night in Ranong for £19 through Booking.com with £1.90 cash back (wow) via CompleteSavings.com. CompleteSavings.com then refused to play ball whilst I was trying to get my 10% cash back on more substantial accommodation bookings.

    We then headed out for a stroll to:- 1. Visit Mai Khao Beach for a spot of plane spotting; and 2. To buy an SD card reader which I stupidly forgot to pack. The stroll was totally unsuccessful:- 1. The beach was part of the Sirinat National Park and there was a 200 baht (less than £5) fee each for foreigners to enter. We were too tight to fork out for this which as I write I am already regretting and 2. After traipsing round the streets I was informed that the nearest shop I might get one was 15km away. For the meantime I won’t be able to upload my photos from camera.

    We returned to our hotel and sat on sun beds around the spotless swimming pool. I read a book, whilst Jackie read a Thai visa Facebook forum with news that some Brit had tested positive for Covid when they landed at Phuket & were now confined to 10 days quarantine in the local hospital. This prompted a panic with several people deciding to cancel their Thailand holiday for fear of spending Christmas & New Year stuck in a Thai hospital. (It sounded like the Bangkok Hilton). Thank god we were both negative!

    I was in charge of lunch which was intended to be a couple of beers from the 7-11, but they apparently don’t serve alcohol until 5.00pm. I’m not sure if this is a Covid thing or what. So instead I returned with a selection of snacks including Spaghetti Bolognese Baked Corn Snacks & Cheese Choco wafer. Hopefully I won’t be trusted with going shopping again!

    It was a lovely 30 degree sunny afternoon as we chilled out on our sun beds under the the gently swaying fronds of a palm tree 🌴. I tried & failed to secure any cash back, whilst Jackie continued to read her Facebook forum which had turned sinister, with a husband & wife seeking a Thai lady for a sexual relationship. This seemed to give the green light for sex tourists to add their penny’s worth, then genuine tourists started giving them a torrent of abuse for misusing the forum. It sounded much more interesting than my book!

    At 5.00pm on the dot, I dashed down to a local supermarket for a couple of cans of beer & upon my return I managed to book 4 nights onward accommodation via CompleteSavings getting us £14 in cash back. That would more than pay for tonight’s dinner. Right result. I celebrated with a Spag Bol snack that tasted of Spag Bol, but a very sickly sweet version of it.

    Jackie was hungry and decided she wanted to eat locally rather than walk a mile to some restaurants we had kindly been recommended. We ended up back in the same restaurant as the previous night, which was disastrous and we later found out was due to alleged staff shortages. Our dinner took over 90 minutes to arrive & was nowhere near as nice as the previous night, in fact despite ordering exactly the same dish I got something completely different. To add insult to injury, the bill was more expensive because despite not having a pancake for afters, we had drunk more beer waiting for the food to arrive.

    We both unwarrantedly blamed each other for this perceived debacle, which led to a tetchy nightcap on our balcony eating the disgusting Cheese Choco wafers. (As I write it feels like we both somewhat overreacted. I put it down to jet lag. 1st world problems, hey!).

    Songs of the Day: Last Night Another Soldier by Angelic Upstarts.
    Mr Politician by Angelic Upstairs.
    (My Tributes to Mensi that do seem topical in the current climate)    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Mango smoothie
    BreakfastJust a CafeOur bus at Phuket Bus TerminalJackie enjoying the scenery!Sino MansionChecking inDinner

    Day 3 - Off the Beaten Track in Ranong

    December 12, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 30 °C

    Our body clocks are now pretty much operating on Thai time. We actually slept in to after 5am.

    Old wounds were reopened, when we went to the cafe next door for breakfast. I had identified The Naiyang Cafe as my preferred place to eat the previous night, but Jackie had rejected it purely on the basis it was ‘just a cafe’. Jackie ordered a frappe & toastie, whilst I had a mango smoothie & French toast. The food was superb and beautifully presented, which made it all the more annoying that Jackie had dismissed it because the menu for evening meals looked delicious & reasonably priced. We pledged to return on the way home.

    We packed up & paid up at midday, then waited in reception for our taxi. The very helpful receptionist even made us a coffee while we waited. At 12.40pm the taxi arrived & drove up down to Phuket Bus Terminal 2. We had visioned the bus terminal to be a hot, crowded, chaotic affair, but it was quite the opposite cool, empty & organised. There was was even a machine that admonished me for not wearing my mask properly!

    It was a pretty much full bus, when at 2.32pm, we pulled out of Phuket Bus Terminal. We were two of just five westerners aboard the bus. Around two hours later, the other three westerners got off at Khao Lak, which is a tourist resort. The bus continued up Highway 4, officially stopping at Takua Pa Bus Station, but it did stop on multiple occasions to pick up or drop off locals. After Takua Pa, the bus had thinned out sufficiently that we were able to have 2 seats each right for the remainder of the journey. About 40 miles south of Ranong we encountered a military road block, where a soldier boarded the bus and inspected all the Thai passengers Covid phone apps & our passports. I actually also showed him the QR code on my Thai Covid phone app, but he didn’t seem overly impressed.

    We arrived at Ranong Bus Station at 8.45pm, a journey of 184 miles, which cost us just £6 each. Our taxi from the hotel to Phuket Bus Terminal had cost more!

    At Ranong, we were accosted by a lady Tuk-Tuk driver, well actually it was a motorcycle & sidecar, who seemed to be the only driver on duty. When we finally identified to her where we wanted to go, we accepted her fare of 50 baht each (just over £1) & climbed aboard.

    Five minutes later, she delivered us to Sino Mansion, a colonial style hotel costing just £19 a night. The receptionist didn’t speak English, but Jackie managed to converse with him to the extent that she had discussed our eating options for that night (not many) and our transport in the morning.

    We then dumped our bags in the room and went to the street food market over the road where we ordered a chicken Pad Thai each on the grounds that that was the only dish we were confident the ladies would understand. I grabbed a couple of beers from a 7-11 to accompany it. It was very nice, although I didn’t like to think too hard about my chicken I was eating. After paying just 50 baht each for our meal we called it a night.

    We didn’t see any other westerners in town & I would hazard a guess that we ARE the only westerners in town.

    Song of the Day: Strange Town by The Jam.

    I didn’t anticipate that my 1st four songs would be 2 by The Jam & 2 by Angelic Upstarts.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    At the ferry port
    At the speedboat portJackie aboard the slow boatJackie enjoying the scenery!Lunch vistaTom Yum soupOur concrete & glass cube

    Day 4 - Slow Boat to Ko Phayam

    December 13, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 23 °C

    Spoke too soon about our bodies now being adjusted to Thai time. We were both awake & reading at 3.00am, then fitfully slept for the rest of the night. We certainly couldn’t blame it on our air conditioned room which was very comfortable.

    Breakfast for me consisted of an instant coffee & a small pack of Dewberry jammy dodgers. At 9.00am we checked out of our hotel & the receptionist took us down the road to a bus stop & explained to the driver we wanted to get to the ferry port. It seems fairly straightforward, but there are two, one for speedboats & one for the slow boat (ferry). It seems everyone assumed that we wanted to catch a speedboat to Ko Phayam, but no, we had set are minds on catching the 10.00am cheaper slow boat.

    The receptionist told us the fare would be just 15 baht each, however the bus driver told us it was 30 baht each. Jackie felt quite aggrieved until I reminded her that the fare was less than £1 each. The bus journey took us all over town with other passengers getting on & off, including an old man who gave us a running commentary of the sights, mainly temples.

    Half an hour later we arrived at guess what? The speedboat port. We tried to explain that we were in the wrong place and eventually with the assistance of the other passengers we drove another 50 yards up the road to a ticket office for the ferry. Here we paid our 200 baht for the ferry fare and were taken by free taxi to the slow boat several miles away.

    At 10.20am, laden to the gunnels with provisions of every description, our slow boat chugged out into the open waters of the Andaman sea. Once at cruising speed Jackie had her breakfast of a ‘Pocket Sandwich’ containing a fishy substance & between us we shared a couple of beers.

    At 12.15pm, we docked at Ko Phayam pier & disembarked. We were due to be met by a representative from our hotel, but no-one identified themselves to us, so we had no choice, but to hike (like proper backpackers) the 600 metres to Nitiporn Resort. When we were a sweaty mess and just twenty metres from the resort, two employees appeared on a motorbike combo and insisted on carrying our rucksacks the rest of the way. Thanks a lot.

    In reception, we were met by a chunky transgender lady, who after the usual checking in formalities informed us that our room was not quite ready and their restaurant was only open for breakfast. I understand why they haven’t opened their restaurant, because they appear to have only 3 rooms currently occupied, which begs the question ‘How the hell have they not had time to get our room ready?’

    We walked back towards the pier, where we found a sea front fish restaurant for lunch. Jackie had a seafood Tom yum soup which apparently was delicious & I ordered spicy pork & rice. Over lunch we really started to chill out & embrace the slower pace of life on the island. We have already started talking about extending our 4 night stay. An added bonus is the wearing of masks don’t appear to be enforced on the island.

    After lunch we half unpacked our rucksacks in our concrete & glass cube of a room. The remainder of the afternoon was spent sunning ourselves on the pool beds looking out to sea.

    That evening we found a restaurant called ‘36’, which had a couple of tables occupied by westerners. Jackie had a Thai green curry and I had chicken with cashew nuts, which was the best meal we have had on our trip. The ambiance had been just right and cemented our plans to stay on the island longer.

    Over a Hong Thong nightcap, we tentatively looked at accommodation options to extend our stay and discovered that our Nitiporn Resort was fully booked in the week leading up to Christmas. Further research would be required.

    Song of the Day: Slow by The Fratellis.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Map of Ko Phayam
    Our Moove UrbanionBreakfast vistaBeautiful Rock by the Beach 1 from the internetBeautiful Rock by the Beach 2 from the internetBeautiful Rock by the Beach 3 from the internetSelfie at lunchDinner at '36'Cheers

    Day 5 - Easy Rider and a Technophobe

    December 14, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    Still waking up too early & in fact my watch has informed me that I have had an average of just 3 hours 58 minutes sleep per night over the last week. Not nearly enough.

    Today we planned to hire a scooter & explore the island of Ko Phayam. As I was getting my bag ready for the day, I found at the bottom of my rucksack my SD card reader. Hurrah, I could now upload photos from my camera.

    Before breakfast, I had coffee on our veranda & chatted with our Thai neighbours who tipped me off that the island of Ko Chang was a good place to see lots of hornbills.

    At 9.00am we went for breakfast, which was included in our reservation, and had omelettes, toast & coffee. Certainly nothing to write home about.

    After breakfast, I visited the surly chunky transgender lady & enquired if she rented scooters. She did for 200 Baht per day. I knew that back in the town centre they were just 150 baht per day, but for speed & ease I decided to splash out on one of hers. As soon as I agreed, she rang the cheaper scooter company in town to deliver one of theirs to us. I had to wait 10 minutes for it to arrive and after I had paid the man, I saw him giving her a backhander of cash she stuffed into her tips jar. I was irritated, but then reminded myself it was just an extra £1 for this delivery service & they would also pick it up.

    After filling up with a bottle of fuel, we hit the dusty tracks on our new metallic blue 125cc Moove Urbanion. Our 1st stop was Aow Ko Kyu beach, which we had to walk down numerous steep leaf strewn steps to a rather underwhelming beach. We took a couple of photos and climbed back up to the bike.

    Next stop was the southern end of Aow Yai (Long Beach) which was a massive expanse of white sand. Despite there not being a single person on the beach, it had an inviting bar and restaurant. It was too soon after breakfast to imbibe but we vowed to return for a day. More photos were taken.

    We then negotiated our way round to the northern end of Aow Yai beach, where we located approximately 10 assorted persons most of whom were involved with a surf school. The waves were sufficiently high for proper surfing. I took some more photos.

    Next stop was Aow Kwang Peeb beach by accidentally taking a wrong turn. The road had come to an end, which required us to have to park up & walk the last 300 metres with monkeys crashing around in the treetops above. The beach was a cracker and appeared to be the private beach of Aow Kwang Peeb Resort which was deserted and apparently abandoned in a hurry. I went for a swim, whilst Jackie snooped around the derelict buildings including a bar with alcohol bottles on the shelves. She found paperwork including laundry receipts dating back to 1962. It made no sense to us. I took lots of photos of what truly felt like a ghost town.

    It was now lunchtime, so we headed to the final beach on the island, Aow Khao-Kwai (Buffalo Beach). There were no obvious paths to the beach so I gambled on one & drove through a series of bungalows down a steep path. When the path came to an abrupt stop, we abandoned the scooter & walked to the beach only for a uniformed Thai man to start shouting at me to move the scooter. Whoops.

    We continued to try to locate Buffalo Beach & came across an intriguing sign ‘Beautiful Rock by the Beach - Ko Phayam’s Top Attraction’. We followed it’s directions to the beach and encountered 2 tractors pulling trailers loaded with elderly Thai tourists. Luckily they were just coming away so again we had the beach to ourselves. The arches were nice (Not Arches National Park, Utah), but lent themselves as perfect frames for our photographs of each other.

    With some classic photos in the can, we set off for lunch and before we knew it we were back at Aow Mea Mai, having completed a full circuit of the island. We found a more ‘rustic’ restaurant overlooking the sea and ordered a well earned beer. Jackie ordered crispy pork & rice, whilst I ordered a spicy 🌶 🥭 mango salad. I had visions of plump juicy orange mango flesh laced with a sprinkling of chilli, but what I received was a large bowl of thinly sliced green mango & some grey scraps scattered through it. I was suspicious of the grey scraps so I gave one to my taster to check if I could eat it or not. Jackie declared it was a cashew nut, so I popped one in my mouth & swallowed it. I immediately started to wretch, when I came to the realisation that it was actually dried fish skin. Jackie is now trying to poison me!

    As a result we had to swap dinners. Jackie’s fried pork was very tasty if I didn’t look at it, because it was chunks of meat that were one third pork & two thirds fat! I think this was a step too ‘rustic’ for my sensitive palate!

    We returned to Nitiporn Resort around 3.30pm to discover that we were now the only people staying at the resort & that our room hadn’t been made. Jackie marched off to remonstrate with surly chunky transgender lady, who said she would get it sorted without word of an apology. We spent the remainder of the afternoon dozing & reading around our very own private pool.

    Whilst getting ready to go out to dinner, I attempted to upload my 51 fantastic photos taken that day from the camera SD card to my iPad. I selected them, then before I could stop myself I hit ‘delete’. After a lot of furious tapping on my iPad & ranting & swearing & googling, I had to resign myself to the fact that I had lost them for ever. Jackie didn’t mention it again that evening!

    Dinner was back at our favourite ‘36’ for Thai green curry & Tom Yum soup.

    Song of the Day: Ghost Town by The Specials
    Wishing (If I had a Photograph of You) by A Flock of Seagulls    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Our private pool
    Hornbills in the distanceLittle fella washed up on the beachStroll along our empty beachHornbill spotting 1Hornbill spotting 2Hornbill spotting 3Hornbill spotting 4Lunch

    Day 6 - A Thai-Dal Wave of Tourists

    December 15, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 31 °C

    We both slept for a minimum of 8 hours - hallelujah. Ironically the only thing that disturbed me was my doctors surgery ringing for me to make an appointment.

    I was on the verandah with a coffee, briefing myself on the current Covid situation in the news, when all hell let loose in a tree a couple of trees down. I grabbed my camera & raced down the path expecting to see a raucous troupe of monkeys, but no, two hornbills flew up & away before I could draw my camera. I chased after them & managed to spot them in a distant tree.

    At breakfast we discovered that 2 German lads were also at our hotel. They told us they were on the last day of their 2 week holiday & that they had been banished to a room down the road because they played their music too loud! We also booked a further 5 nights on the island at the next door resort.

    After breakfast, we settled down on sun beds at our private pool & listened to the excellent new James album on my bluetooth speaker. It was a perfect morning during which we walked up & down the beach a couple of times to keep our steps up.

    At lunchtime, we walked to the nearest store & purchased some cans of Leo beer for lunch. We had come to the conclusion that we didn’t have the willpower to order just a beer in the restaurants. As I walked back to the beach with my lunch, I espied a couple of hornbills fly into the tree above me. Luckily I had my camera to photo what turned out to be 5 hornbills in the tree. We definitely don’t need to go now to Ko Chang to see the hornbills.

    During the afternoon more and more Thai holidaymakers started to appear at our resort and on the beach in general. It looks like the solitude and tranquility is about to be shattered.

    We left the pool at 5.30pm with our bodies an array of different colours & shades from white, pink and red through to brown.

    That evening we went to a pre-planned fish restaurant for dinner, only for Jackie to decide she didn’t fancy fish. After a ‘discussion’, we moved on to our old favourite ‘36’, where I had a beef Massaman curry & Jackie had fried pork & basil. It didn’t disappoint.

    Song of the Day: All The Colours Of You by James.
    Recover by James.

    Both songs from the new James album & about Covid & lockdown, which seemed apt having read the recent spiralling figures in the UK. The first cases of Omicron were detected in Thailand three days ago.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Lunch
    Paddling outPaddling backMy customary daily swimFighting through the crowdsPair of hornbills at the beachPassing long-tail boatLFT - negativeHornbill outside our roomThe 'Authentic' restaurantMy fried chicken with curryJackie & her crispy fried pork

    Day 7 - Paddling in Calm Waters

    December 16, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 31 °C

    After a decent sleep, we had a hearty breakfast of omelette, toast, cereal & fruit. The Thais that had descended on the island the previous afternoon had all but disappeared and the beach was empty again.

    My planned activity for the morning was to paddle a kayak out to a rocky peninsula that juts out from the end of our beach. Unfortunately the tide was high and the water was way to choppy, we didn’t want to die trying.

    Instead we resumed our position at our private pool & took the occasional stroll up & down the deserted beach.

    Lunch consisted of a couple of Leo’s at a table & chairs in the the shade of a big leafy tree, which having now got my ear in, I’ve discovered is a favourite haunt for the hornbills. During lunch we booked our respective accommodation for Christmas and New Year. We are yet to work out how to get to them, because it seems that some of the bus services have stopped running on our intended moving dates. We don’t know whether this is to do with it being the Christmas period or Covid.

    After our liquid lunch, we decided (some might say ill-advisedly) to take a kayak out for a spin as the waves had subsided. We heaved it down the beach now at low tide & paddled out to the peninsula & back without incident.

    Yet again during the afternoon the beach & resort started to fill with new Thai tourists and the old ones returning from boat trips.

    We returned to our room when the sun sank below the trees & we both took a mandatory Day 6 Lateral Flow Test that had been provided to us by the Thai authorities at Phuket Airport. Both of our tests happily came back negative, but ridiculously the test results did not have a QR code or other means of recording or reporting the results. We took a photo of the result as evidence.

    That evening we decided to give ‘36’ a break & we returned to the ‘rustic’ restaurant, I now like to think of as ‘authentic’. Jackie had the crispy fried pork she ordered last time, but I had to eat & I had fried chicken with curry. It was not particularly cheap, but it was delicious & we will definitely be going back.

    Song of the Day: Die Trying by New Model Army.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals

    Day 8 - A Hornbill Party to say Goodbye

    December 17, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    Woke up at silly o’clock again. So much for getting into a sensible sleep pattern!

    At 8.00am, I sat out on the veranda with a coffee & realised that the tree in front of us were teeming with a party of at least 20 hornbills, including juveniles. My research on our hornbills identified them as Oriental Pied Hornbills.

    After breakfast we showered, packed & checked out of Nitiporn Resort. Bizarrely, 2 lads from the resort were on us in a flash & insisted they transport all our bags the 40 metres down the path to Sabai Sabai Beach Bungalows next door. Making up for failing to pick us up on our arrival I suspect. Sabai Sabai is owned by a 40 something year old Englishman from Stanstead, named James & his (ex) Thai wife, Sarah.

    After completing the formalities, James took us to our 2 bedroomed sea view cottage, which had cost us just £126 for five nights. There is a saying that you get what you pay for & this was certainly the case in this instance. Our cottage was a 2 storey wooden shack with a bedroom on each floor. A very steep internal staircase connected the two. The cottage had no air conditioning, just a fan, no fridge and bedding, which although smelt clean was badly stained. If that wasn’t bad enough, we couldn’t get WiFi in our cottage. We were really going back to basics and this is just about as basic as Jackie is prepared to go.

    After dumping all our luggage, we headed out. We hadn’t left Sabai Sabai before we bumped into James’ mother who with her husband had been staying here for the last month & were staying for another 2 months. She chatted at us for about 20 minutes telling us that most of her stay had been in torrential rain & it had only turned nice a week ago. She also ranted about a boat that arrived on the beach, virtually outside her room, with a big digger & a pile of sand. Apparently they were digging a new reservoir somewhere behind Sabai Sabai.

    Jackie & I then walked down town to the Buddhist Temple on the pier & up to & personal with a golden Buddha on the hill. After the statutory photo, we took refuge from the sun in our ‘authentic’ restaurant for a couple of cold Changs.

    After stocking up on mosquito spray, we almost certainly will need it, we returned to Sabai Sabai, where we bumped into Jan & James sat on their veranda. Jan originates from Bury St. Edmunds & James from America. Jan & James have been living in Thailand for the last 2 years & Jan has been coming to Ko Phayam for the last 18 years. We had seen them out & about drinking in the bars & as expected they knew every resident farang & most of the island’s bar & restaurant staff. We chatted to them for about an hour before they had to leave to attend the birthday party of an alcoholic bar owner. They invited us to join them, but it was only 3pm so we said we would try & catch up with them later.

    We chilled under the shade of a palm tree until 5pm, when as warned we were attacked by mosquitoes. It was horrendous & despite being slathered in 3 coats of mossie spray an hour later my legs were on fire. Jackie also was being bitten in our cottage, but to make matters far worse she discovered that we had no hot water & she had to have a cold ‘refreshing’ shower. I didn’t hear the end of this for the rest of the night!

    At 6.30pm, we abandoned our new resort & sought solace down town. Our legs were as itchy as hell, so we took up residence at our usual table in ‘36’ & tried to numb the pain with ice cold Changs. We could hear the birthday party opposite, but neither of us were in the mood to deal with drunken ageing westerners.

    About an hour later, the extreme itchiness of my legs had subsided sufficiently for me to concentrate & we ordered dinner. We had planned to take a day off from spice, so Jackie ordered summer vegetable rolls and french fries, whilst I ordered pasta carbonara. It came as 3 plates of generous portions of loveliness.

    We returned to Sabai Sabai feeling much more relaxed, so we collected our iPads & did internet stuff in the bar area, with a cocktail to help us sleep! I had a ‘Mai Thai’ (when in Rome….) and Jackie had a ‘Boy From Devon’, not literally! We’d never heard of it either.

    We went to bed that night with some trepidation.

    Song of the Day: Mosquito Song by Queens of the Stone Age.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Morning world
    Phayamas Private Beach ResortBehind the bar at Kwang Peeb Bay Resort1Sad Christmas decsAbandoned beach hutBeachSomeone can't spell!Just a hole!Beautiful Rock by the Beach - Ko Phayam’s Top AttractionLong Beach lunch spotCocktail at sunsetDisappointing sunset

    Day 9 - Deja Vu in Reverse

    December 18, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 27 °C

    If think that might be an oxymoron.

    I woke up having had the best sleep on this trip by a mile, but surprise surprise Jackie claimed she hadn’t slept at all. Mind you she did go to bed dressed as a coal miner, with her torch containing a dying battery strapped to her forehead, but wasn’t bright enough to read her book.

    Around 9.30am we hauled ourselves out of our comfy bed & went down to the breakfast area for coffee. I finished off by blog, whilst Jackie tried to sort out our onward transport to our next destination with James the owner. It resulted in us saving ourselves about £30, by getting the slightly slower bus back down to Khao Lak rather than a taxi that we were considering. This new plan was a win win, because he also made a few Baht commission for booking it.

    We also rented a scooter off James who tried to guilt trip us into having it for the remainder of our stay. Understandably, he is doing his best to make money because he hasn’t had the best of it in the last 2 years. He has had virtually no visitors, hence no income due to Covid & he had a baby with his wife, but they are now separated. Chin up!

    Just after 11am we hit the road on our new 125cc scooter to try & recreate the lost photos. Our first unscheduled stop was to Phayamas Private Beach Resort that we had nearly previously booked & had been recommended by Jan & James. It was down a very long path & after parking up, we took a wander through the resort. The accommodation huts looked luxurious, but despite there being in excess of 30, it was clear that only three were occupied. The resort was so remote & soulless that even Jackie agreed that she was glad we didn’t book to stay there.

    We then continued to Kwang Peeb Bay, which we now know to be known locally as Monkey Bay & the resort was abandoned by the owners when Covid hit struck Thailand. On our previous visit there was not a sole around, but now there was a row of scooters in the parking area & about 10 people down on the beach. We took our photos & left.

    Next stop was the ‘Beautiful Rock by the Beach - Ko Phayam’s Top Attraction’ or “just a hole” as Jackie described it. It had a Thai courting couple that kept getting in the way of our crime scene reconstruction. I am pleased to say that they took the hint & moved, but it annoyingly clouded over at the very same moment ruining our photos.

    We accidentally took the same couple of wrong turns ending at dead ends before we finally arrived at our intended destination - the northern end of Aow Yai Beach or Long Beach. It was after 1pm, we (I) were (was) starving so we plonked ourselves down at Long Beach Bar & Restaurant. We ordered a couple of Changs & I ordered a chicken & cashew nuts, whilst Jackie went off piste & ordered Pad Thai green curry with pork. Jackie’s was sensational, whilst mine lacked the wow factor.

    After lunch we sat on the complimentary sun beds & marvelled at how beautiful this beach at Long Beach truly was. We don’t normally like wide expanses of empty beaches, but the sand was firm & spotlessly clean & the water was crystal clear with a flat sandy bottom with no rocks to stub your toe on.

    At 5.00pm, the mosquito witching hour, we ordered more drinks & waited for the famous sunset. After an hour & now a couple of drinks the sun slipped below a cloud without even a whimper.

    We celebrated avoiding any mosquito bites, only for a lone little bastard to bite me three times on the foot & Jackie once in her armpit. We drank up & scootered home at dusk, but it had already got too dark to spot potholes on the path.

    We got home surprisingly in one piece & had a quick shower, which was unsurprisingly still cold. As soon as I was ready I had to go outside to leave to Jackie to moan endlessly to herself about the temperature of the water.

    We went to our ‘authentic’ restaurant for dinner. Embarrassingly the cook, cum waitress shouted “2 large Changs” the moment we stepped across her threshold. Jackie ordered pork & chilli with rice, but asked for it to be spicy. It seems I got tarred with the same brush, because my macaroni with chicken & green curry blew my socks off. In fact I could only eat half of it as my mouth was on fire.

    When I settled the bill, I managed to procure a couple of plastic glasses, then we visited the supermarket to purchase some essential provisions. We returned to our cottage & polished off half our bottle of Hong Thong, whilst listening to one of my favourite albums - Meccano Mind.

    Song of the Day: Deja Vu by Roger Waters.
    Pride by Syntax.
    Destiny by Syntax.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Pineapple & Bacon Pancakes
    A Long BeachA big splashIce cream manIce cream in a bunBothBites on Jackie's backMy half eaten Fresh Vegetable Spring RollsThe Christmas tree is up at '36'MoonlightNightcap

    Day 10 - Now Officially Eaten Alive

    December 19, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ 🌧 24 °C

    We both slept pretty well, but a small gap in the mosquito net allowed one in to bite us about three times each. As I was getting dressed, I picked up my shorts from the downstairs bed to discover they were saturated. We eventually worked it out the Jackie hadn’t screwed the lid back properly on a large bottle of water & it had leaked down through the floorboards to my shorts below. Brilliant!

    It was an overcast start to the day so we spent the whole morning uploading & downloading in the WiFi breakfast area, whilst drinking instant coffee & each eating a big fluffy pancake with pineapple & bacon. I benefited from Jackie not particularly liking hers. We managed to book seats on a bus from Phuket to Hat Yai, accommodation in Hat Yai & transport to the island of Ko Lipe.

    Just after midday, we jumped on our scooter & headed straight back to Long Beach. This time we stopped at the next bar along, Lazy Hut, who had far superior sun beds. We reserved our chosen bed for the afternoon & took a walk along the beach & through the occasional cloud of smoke from bonfires in the jungle. We walked until my watch announced that we had completed a mile before turning around & walking back.

    We had worked up a decent thirst & imbibed in a couple of beers for lunch, before settling down for a siesta on our very comfortable sun beds. I had taken my Bluetooth speaker & we listened to the relaxing tracks on a playlist with the unsavoury title of ‘Fister’s Lot’. Don’t ask!

    It would have been relaxing if we hadn’t been bitten alive by mosquitoes 🦟 which were forming pusy lumps on Jackie’s arms, legs & back. A fly kept landing on one of Jackie’s scratched open bleeding pusy bites. Our bodies were an eyesore. Bizarrely they were nowhere near as itchy as our first night at Sabai Sabai.

    At 5.30pm, a motorcycle & trailer combination materialised on the beach & the staff from Lazy Hut rushed down to buy his wares. I was intrigued, well Jackie told we to go & investigate, so I joined the throng & discovered he was selling ice creams in a bun. I ordered a bun which was loaded with sticky rice, some jelly stuff, coconut ice cream, chocolate ice cream & topped with chocolate peanuts, chocolate drops & coconut cream, all for less than £1. Again I liked it, but Jackie doesn’t need to have one again.

    Sunset was shaping up to be another flop so we headed off to a hilltop viewpoint restaurant I had spotted on the outward trip. We had a small beer each and chatted to a middle-aged German couple who were also staying at Sabai Sabai & had actually travelled over on the same ferry as us. They told us they were going to Bangkok next where they were going to rent 125cc scooters & ride them up to Chang Mai with their rucksacks. Mad. Whilst chatting with them we started getting bitten on the ankles & we whipped out our mossie spray. They informed us that they don’t use mossie spray for ethical reasons, so we have come to the conclusion they must be tree huggers!

    Conscious that they were leaving the restaurant just behind us, I raced back to Sabai Sabai along the path through the now pitch black jungle. For our troubles we got a very unpleasant & relentless bug facial including one in my eye, which persuaded us to not ride the scooter at night again.

    After a very quick shower we headed out to ‘36’. The waitress immediately confirmed we wanted our usual - 2 large bottles of Chang. Embarrassingly predictable! I ordered the Fresh Vegetable Spring Rolls which contained large chunks of mango & watermelon as well as vegetables sitting in a pool of penang & tamarind sauce. Jackie ordered a Pad Thai which she pimped up with extra chilli, sugar & sweet vinegar. All absolutely delicious.

    Song of the Day: I Can’t Look At Your Skin by Graham Coxon.
    One Tear by Paul Weller.
    Smoke in My Eyes by Josh Flowers & The Wild.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Giant Lizard
    Footprints in the sandCrabsSurf schoolFlat sea1Big WaveLunchDressing the Christmas tree at Lazy HutIntroducing 'Jackie McManus - The Great Mosquito Destroyer'Surreptitious photo of Big Anne

    Day 11 - The Tale of Big Ang

    December 20, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 25 °C

    Both Jackie & I received half a dozen mosquito bites in bed, which are crispy and oozing like the sap from a tree.

    I went down to breakfast first & was reacquainted with Big Ang, who asked if she could join me at my table.

    Jackie & I first met Big Ang at Heathrow Airport, when she occupied the three seats immediately in front of us on the plane. She got off at Phuket Airport and she arrived behind us in the same taxi at the same wrong hotel & then arrived behind us in the same taxi at the correct hotel. She was keen to talk to us at the correct hotel because she wanted our knowledge to help her complete the check in & Covid processes. During this brief exchange we learnt that she was meeting a friend & going to stay at her friend’s brother’s beach resort on Koh Phayam. We saw her on a couple of occasions over the next 24 hours, but I felt she was blanking us, so I took a dislike to her.

    Almost as soon as we arrived on Koh Phayam, we worked it out that Big Ang was going to be staying at Sabai Sabai. This was confirmed when we first met owner James’ mother who said that her daughter was arriving in a few day with her friend, who she tactfully described her as a larger lady.

    Big Ang is a tall, but also very wide 58 year old lady with her legs covered in tattoos & New Model Army red spiky hair. She has limited mobility due to nerve damage & suffers from anxiety. She is an ex-nurse and met James’ sister, Emma, whilst both volunteering at a shelter for the homeless.

    After chatting about our travels to date, we were joined by Jackie & the subject of music came up when I got a message to say my PIL tickets had been secured. Jackie piped up to Big Ang that she wouldn’t like my music or have heard of my favourite band. On the contrary, she likes New Model Army and generally the same bands as me. I wasn’t surprised judging by the colour of her hair. She went up even further in my estimation, when she revealed that the first band she ever saw in concert was the Dead Kennedys. We talked about concerts and festivals and she tipped me off about the Stone Valley Festival South 2022 in Hertfordshire which features a lot of my bands. I suspect I will be booking a pair of weekend tickets for it in the coming days!

    Big Ang turned out to be very pleasant and amusing, but she did like to talk. It was nearly 2 hours later that we managed to prise ourselves away & scootered off back to our favourite beach.

    At Long Beach we repeated our routine of reserving our beds at Lazy Hut, then took a walk for a mile up the beach where we took a swim amongst the trainee surfers on the sporadic big wave.

    We returned to Lazy Hut in time for lunch consisting of beers, french fries & fried vegetable spring rolls. Jackie ordered a pork curry with extra spice that was way too spicy to eat. She ate half, then pretended she was full.

    The afternoon was the same same until 5pm, when instead of having an ice cream from the little motorbike man & we both had a sundowner gin & tonic for medicinal reasons. The sun had gone down when we returned to the scooter only to find that the scootering German couple from Sabai Sabai were also mounting their two scooters.

    After exchanging pleasantries, l attempted to get a flying start in the nonexistent race home only for Jackie’s flip flop to fall off in the sand. Luckily I was blocking the path, whilst Jackie made several panicky aborted attempts to retrieve her shoe. Finally we were off & as soon as I was confident with the condition of the road, I opened up the throttle leaving the Germans for dead. It did mean that we got yet another bug facial, but more importantly we won.

    After showers we were getting ready when we heard a strange loud flapping noise, but assumed it was some animal outside. I then went to the loo and was confronted by this foot long lizard running down the wall. It nearly gave me a heart attack, but I managed to grab my phone & get a quick photo of it before it disappeared into the bamboo wall. I might yet still win BBC Wildlife Photographer of the Year or maybe not……

    We returned to ‘36’ for a green & a yellow curry followed by a quick Hong Thong nightcap back at the cottage before calling it an early night.

    Much to my surprise Jackie decided to get dressed in a white skintight vest top & white knickers. She looked like a wrestler from ITV’s World of Sport in her wrestling leotard. I was going to bed with ‘Jackie McManus - The Great Mosquito Destroyer’.

    Song of the Day: My Love Is Like A Wave / Razor Blade Reprise by The Silencers.
    Rise by Public Image Limited.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Monster from the deep - looking at a jellyfish
    Big Anne just before she put on a crash helmetLunch - a coconut crashed through the table at this very spot the previous daySelfie by the Christmas treeThe sun was shaping up to set in style

    Day 12 - Last Day of Feral Living

    December 21, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 26 °C

    During the night we had a power cut & the fan stopped. At 4.30am Jackie & I were both awake scratching our backs from more bites during the night.

    At 9am the power had still not returned so I went off to investigate. I bumped into Jan & James who updated me that a fire in the kitchen had knocked out the entire electricity supply. I told them about our bites & Jan informed me that our oozing crispy bites were actually sandfly bites, particularly prevalent on Long Beach. Typical. There is no such thing as paradise!

    I then went to the breakfast area where I confirmed that there was no internet, but on the plus side I was able to sneak a couple of covert photos of Big Anne with my iPad. I was quite pleased with my efforts, because the last time I tried something like this I was chased down a Las Vegas sidewalk by Elvis in a mobility scooter screaming obscenities at me!

    We were just finishing up our coffee, when Big Anne reappeared in a new dress then incredibly donned a tiny motorcycle helmet & headed out with her friend, Emma. It took all my willpower not to follow them.

    We hit the road shortly after & took a detour downtown to try & spot Big Anne, but failed miserably, so we headed back to Long Beach & embarked on our longest walk yet to very end of Long Beach & back.

    Lunch consisted of satay chicken, french fries & Changs. We kept it deliberately light because we had decided to stop on the way home at a pizzeria we had spotted that had a 5 - 6pm happy hour of cocktails & pizza, which we felt we ought to take advantage of.

    We had a 2nd walk of the day after lunch & came across a monster from the deep washed up on the beach. It was a disgusting jellyfish like nothing I’d seen before.

    We later both fell asleep for the afternoon & awoke shortly before 5pm. We didn’t fancy cocktails and pizza, so we settled for a Chang on the beach & what promised to be a spectacular sunset. It wasn’t. We also had some entertainment in the form of a little man climbing up into the coconut trees & chopping off all the coconuts. Apparently, yesterday a coconut crashed through the table in the exact place where we had been sitting for lunch today.

    After the sunset petered out to nothing, we left the beach & rode slowly home along the now pitch black paths teeming with insects & the occasional bat. We arrived back at Sabai Sabai to find Big Anne still helmet clad having just dismounted her scooter. If only we had been seconds earlier!

    We got ready & went straight out to our ‘Authentic’ restaurant where we both had the crispy fried pork. It was then back home for our final nights sleep in the hayloft.

    Song of the Day: Born Feral by New Model Army.
    Sandfly by The Swinging Blue Jeans.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Goodbye Koh Phayam
    Buddhist monks arrivingSpeedboat funFellow passengersJackie's bitten legsSit in your allocated seat!Our clean, air conditioned, big bedded roomAt Mr Chay's BarDinner at SiamJackieHome

    Day 13 - Rookie Error Nearly Disastrous

    December 22, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 26 °C

    Had an itchy night, waking up at 2.30am & not really getting back to sleep again. At 7.30am, we dragged ourselves out of bed, had a cold shower & packed our rucksacks. I had a dickey stomach, which is the last thing I wanted on a travelling day!

    An hour later we were ordering breakfast, banana porridge with honey for me & Jackie ordered the smallest in the world cheese & ham toastie with a pot of fresh coffee. Having paid up, we said our goodbyes to the characters I’ve previously referred to and we hiked down to the pier for the 10am speedboat back to the mainland.

    The speedboat was a 40 minute bumpy crossing to Ranong Port, then a taxi transferred us to Ronong Bus Station, where we bought some random snacks - a honey & a strawberry pop drink, some Thai equivalent of pork scratchings and some unidentifiable sweet pastries.

    At 11.30am sharp, the coach departed & headed south. Despite being only 25% full, a young junior Hitler ticket collector kept coming back to check that everyone was sitting in their allocated seats. We also had the army again check our passports & the travel documents of our fellow Thai travellers halfway through our journey.

    As of today the Thai Authorities are clamping down on the movement of new tourists to Thailand. We understand that the Thailand Pass scheme that had allowed us to travel after our test & go procedure has been scrapped. Now all tourists without a previously issued Thailand Pass can only fly directly into Phuket & now take 2 PCR tests & must remain on the island of Phuket for at least 7 days before being allowed to travel elsewhere in Thailand. This clearly has a serious impact on those tourists who have booked a 1 or 2 week holiday somewhere in Thailand other than Phuket. No wonder British Airways & TUI have cancelled all their Thai holidays & flights!

    Nearly 3 hours later we arrived at Takua Pa Bus Station & the driver announced that we’d be stopping for 15 minutes. We decided to get off for a leg stretch & Jackie went to the toilet. Whilst waiting for her my stomach suddenly gurgled uncontrollably & I dashed to the Gents. There were 3 cubicles each with a different height toilet set in the middle of the cubicle. One was a hole in the floor, one was a normal size bowl & the 3rd was of a height somewhere between the other two. More importantly to me at this moment was that none had any toilet paper. What an idiot for not packing any in our hand luggage.

    In panic I scampered to the food hall grabbed a large handful of tissues from a ladies food stall. I asked if I could take them, but scampered back before she could reply & I made it back to the Gents just in time!!!

    Twenty minutes later we unceremoniously dumped at our schedules stop at the side of the main road through Khao Lak. No one was around to offer us a lift, so I walked down the road until I found a lovely little lady, Chanika, in a tour shop. After explaining my predicament, she offered to close her shop & drive us to our hotel for 150 Baht (about £3.50). She explained it was really quiet & I had been her 1st customer in three days. When we arrived at our new hotel, Fanari Khaolak Resort, Jackie & Chanika, who couldn’t have been more helpful, swapped mobile numbers as we would definitely use her for any future business we had in the area.

    Our new receptionist was not particularly warm & welcoming. She walked us to our room, plonked the key fob in the slot to activate the electric, said “OK” & walked out. Our hearts sank. The room smelt musty as if it hadn’t been lived in for 2 years, which it probably hadn’t & there was dirt between the floor tiles on our terrace. I asked for a broom, which didn’t do the trick, so she took some photos & promised to get properly cleaned in the morning. As she was leaving I then told her we didn’t have any coffee-making or tea-making facilities. When she returned with a kettle, cups & sachets, I asked if we could have a couple of extra harder pillows. She smiled sweetly and later returned with 2 satisfactory pillows. A quick squirt of citronella around the room & we were sorted! We really can’t complain too much when we are paying just £167 for 6 nights over Christmas.

    At 5pm, we went for an explore & found a German reggae bar called Mr Chay Bar. It was quiet when we arrived, but in the hour that we were there it had transformed into a lively bar, which apparently also has live music in the evenings. We have already earmarked this as potentially the place to be on Christmas evening.

    We went home, showered & went straight back out. The restaurants in Khao Lak are much more westernised than at Koh Phayam & clearly aimed at the western tourists. They also come with western prices, on average 50 - 100%, but when I mentioned it I was accused of being a cheapskate!

    We settled on a restaurant called Siam. The staff were ultra polite & the food was beautifully presented. Jackie had red chicken curry & rice, whilst I had chicken & cashew nuts, which was nice but not sensational. After a quick G & T nightcap on our terrace we had a very early night.

    Song of the Day: Clampdown by The Clash.
    Cheapskates by The Clash.

    (In tribute to Joe Strummer who died on this day in 2002 aged just 50.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    View from the terrace 1
    View from the terrace 2View from the terrace 3Pool 1Pool 2Stone Valley Festival tickets purchasedSign at the end of the road

    Day 14 - A Visit from Lovely Chanika

    December 23, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 28 °C

    We managed to drag ourselves out of bed at 9.45am, then had a coffee & some left over mini doughnuts on the terrace. It was very pleasant with small birds & butterflies flitting about in the lush green foliage. At 10.30am the cleaner arrived, so we relocated to the sun beds around the pool.

    Again we had the pool to ourselves. With the benefit of decent WiFi, I booked a pair of Stone Valley Festival music & camping tickets for Jackie & I. To celebrate, I cranked up the volume with some Big Country on my speaker.

    For lunch, we bought a couple of beers & some sour cream & onion Lays from a tiny shop opposite the hotel. Our lunch on our now nice clean terrace was disturbed by a WhatsApp message from Chanika. She had sent us some information on trips to the Similan Islands that we had asked her to research & at a price considerably cheaper than the brochure price. We WhatsApp’d back that we would like to book it & she said she would be with us in 15 minutes to complete the paperwork.

    Twenty minutes later, Chanika arrived bearing homemade Christmas gifts for us. She gave Jackie a beaded chain to clip to her mask (all the rage over here), me a packet of nicely wrapped banana crisps & for both of us a bar of soap using ingredients from her garden. I’m hoping she hasn’t gone all Gwyneth Paltrow on us!

    She then pulled out her ticket book, which she said hadn’t seen a single booking in the last two years & completed the necessary documentation. We didn’t have enough cash on us so she gave us a lift to the money exchange to change up some more cash to pay her up front for the trip. Let’s hope this is not some elaborate scam!

    We finished the afternoon with a little siesta until the peace was shattered by the sound of loud rap music & the grunting & groaning of what I hope was Muay Thai boxers training.

    After a shower (apparently the water is now too hot & too powerful for Jackie) we were having a quick ‘livener’ on our terrace when I read the information leaflet that came with our antihistamine tablets for our itchy sandfly bites. It read that only one should be taken each day, avoid alcohol & they may make you drowsy. No wonder we were tired, we had been swallowing a couple of tablets at a time & washing them down with beer & gin.

    We went out for the evening via a shortcut, which Jackie was convinced was someone’s garden, but I saw it as a public right of way. We had dinner at a Thai/German restaurant called Thai Life where we had our tastiest starter yet, satay chicken & a cheeky garlic bread. We followed it up with a lovely Penang curry & Tom Yum soup. Over dinner I discovered my sd card in my camera was full. Bugger!

    We sought out Mr Chay Bar only to discover that it was closed & no sign of life. I just hope it hasn’t been closed down by the authorities after the Thai Government issued new Covid guidance including a request for citizens to inform on any bar/restaurant not taking necessary precautions. I’m not sure Mr Chay was!!

    Song of the Day: Alone by Big Country.
    Tracks of My Tears (Live) by Big Country.

    (The words seem all the more poignant knowing that Stuart Adamson committed suicide in a hotel room in Hawaii on 16th December 2001 aged just 43).    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Piranha Bar
    LunchOn the terrace with Frothy the SnowmanFrothyIn my well ironed shirtMr Chay BarWhere's my pizzaWhy did I order a Similan?Battling through itThe owner has just given Jackie one of his special cocktailsTime to go home

    Day 15 - It Was Christmas Eve, Babe

    December 24, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 29 °C

    Woke up to the sad news that yet another friend had been diagnosed with cancer.

    Breakfast on the terrace consisted of a cup of coffee & banana flakes courtesy of Chanika. We then had a mad rush to ensure our sun beds. Some miserable Germans were laying towels out around OUR pool. Bloody cheek.

    After an hour or so of sunning, I was getting itchy feet, figuratively, so I hired a scooter from the little shop opposite the hotel & Jackie & I went in search of a new sd card for my camera. After a lot of stopping & asking we eventually found the camera shop about 2 miles away & paid fractionally over the odds for it. Still we needed it.

    To celebrate, we treated ourselves to lunch at a much cheaper ‘locals’ restaurant on the main road beside some roadworks. I ordered a green curry, but when it arrived they had been a bit too heavy handed with the fish sauce. Jackie insisted on swapping & so I had her chicken & cashew nuts. Neither were that nice, but the cold beer made up for it.

    After a scoot around the resort, we concluded that we had made the right choice with our hotel, we returned the scooter & sat down by the pool we had to ourselves again.

    That night we planned to have a simple pizza & a relatively quiet & early night (best laid plans & all that), because we had an early start in the morning. We didn’t want any dodgy stomachs on our boat trip!

    After a quick livener, we headed to Mr Chay’s Bar for a pre-dinner drink. We drank beer & wine & nibbled on the complimentary roasted peanuts. Amongst the peanuts I found a roasted chilli & bit half off & swallowed. F**k my mouth was on fire. Jackie thought I was being a wimp & nibbled on a bit before spitting it out & then started sweating profusely. So much for taking precautions!

    Once Jackie had stopped sweating by consuming a couple of wines, we popped to Pinocchio Restaurant for a bland pizza to share. We then stopped at Piranha Bar, which we had awarded best dressed Christmas bar in town for a quick 99 Baht cocktail before heading home. No sooner had we ordered our drinks, I was rushing to the toilet not once, but twice.

    Before we knew it, it was late & we had had three very strong cocktails each & were fairly sozzled. Typically us!!

    I hope my choice of songs don’t offend.

    Song of the Day: Cancer by My Chemical Romance.
    Slide Away - Live For Teenage Cancer Trust by Noel Gallagher.
    Cancer by Tom MacDonald.
    Fairytale of New York by The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Little yellow fish photobombs my picture of Jackie
    SelfieJackie surveying the boatsI am the left figure up at Sail RockStunning viewpoint from Sail Rock.Christmas lunch with a water monitor4The Omura’s WhaleJackie CousteauShoal of little yellow fishHawksbill sea turtle in left bottom hand cornerPosing on a rockPosing by a rock

    Day 16 - Similan Islands Christmas Trip

    December 25, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    The 6.45am the alarm stirred us from our alcoholic stupor. Over coffee, I gave Jackie her Christmas card, but the kind gesture was not returned, apparently she had forgotten to pack mine!!

    At 7.30am, a minibus arrived to pick us up, we then collected a family of 3 Americans before having to wait nearly 20 minutes for 3 Thai lads to join us. We eventually arrived at the Check-in Andaman private pier for coffee & breakfast over a short briefing from our tour guide.

    At 8.45am we had collected our equipment & boarded our speedboat. Jackie & I were literally 1st on & we took up seats at the very front of the boat to capitalise on the sun. We were joined at the front by lone a Brazilian girl, who was a bit of a strange cookie, and 5 giggly Thai girls.

    The 70 km crossing took a spine juddering 80 minutes before arriving at Similan Island Koh 9. (Ba-Ngu) for a 40 minute snorkel session in the crystal clear waters. After 20 minutes of looking at mainly little yellow fish, Jackie & I had had enough of our salt water eye bath & mouth wash so we returned to the boat. I did however get some interesting photos of the little yellow fishes swimming between the two of us.

    Next stop was Koh 8. (Similan) the largest island for an hour & 20 minutes. When we arrived it was teeming with tourists from other tours, but as our guide advised they would be gone in 15 minutes & true to his word they were. Leaving Jackie on the beach, I climbed the 150 metres up to Sail Rock which was a stunning viewpoint.

    Once I had returned to Jackie, we had a quick swim then collected our Christmas lunch. It consisted of 2 trays of food each & a bottle of water. It sounds a lot & it was, but it wasn’t overly edible. We had cold very spicy pork with cold rice, cold sweet & sour sauce with cold spaghetti & a couple of chicken wings plus some other bits I didn’t even want to try. During dinner we were joined by a large water monitor that had us abandoning the table when it got too close.

    After a few photos we boarded our speedboat & set off for the next destination. Just a couple of minutes into the journey, one of the crew spotted a whale coming up for air. The boat was immediately brought to a standstill & for the next 20 minutes or so we tracked a couple of Omura’s whales from a distance of just 30 yards with Jackie & I having the perfect viewing spot. I knew we were witnessing something a bit special because the crew were very excitable & were taking photos of their own. It was the perfect Christmas present.

    The Omura’s whale or dwarf fin whale is a rare & little known whale species. It is the most recently identified species of whale and then only from dead specimens in 2003. The 1st live identified sighting of one in the wild was in 2015. They measure 12 metres in length, are super-streamlined, but are so rare that scientists don’t know how many exist. Most sightings have been in Madagascan waters, thus sightings in Thai waters seem to be very newsworthy events.

    Next stop was Koh 7. (Pays) for another snorkelling stop. We both got in again & to our delight it was abundant with fish of all colours, including a particularly a big shoal of the little yellow fish swimming around us. After another 20 minutes, Jackie declared she had had enough & started heading back to the boat when someone shouted that they had spotted a sea turtle. They were over 100 metres away, but this was not an opportunity I was going to miss.

    With mask & snorkel flapping around my head & camera in hand, I attempted to front-crawl & fight my way through the other snorkelers to the turtle sighting. I arrived puffing & panting which made breathing through the snorkel difficult, but I was able to espy the turtle, which I have identified as a Hawksbill sea turtle. It was camouflaged by the coral, but I was able to follow it for several minutes & point & shoot my camera in it’s general direction.

    Elated, I returned to the speedboat before we motored over to our final stop, Koh 4. (Miang) National Park. It was for a 1 hour stop. We walked a trail to the other side of the island where we spotted several brightly coloured Nicobar Pigeons & fruit bats crawling & flying through the trees.

    It concluded our exceptional & highly recommended trip. The speedboat crew were so helpful & pleasant. The Similan Islands were pure paradise, both on land & in the sea. For us it made the perfect Christmas Day.

    We then made the 80 minute speedboat crossing back to the mainland for coffee & ice cream before being bussed back to our hotel at 6.00pm. We were both shattered, but after a shower & rest, we made our customary WhatsApp video calls & messages to family & friends before heading out to dinner.

    Dinner consisted of chicken satay, a Pad Thai & a beer each at Thai Life, then we called it a night. We were just too knackered & full to carry on.

    Song of the Day: Christmas Paradise by Carole King.
    Tales of Brave Ulysses by Cream. (Courtesy of American Dad on our trip).    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Chanika halfway through her sob story
    Taxi route to Phuket bus terminalRoute to Khok Kloi bus terminalRoute to Hat Yai bus terminal from PhuketToughing it out in the rainIs that Mark Spitz?Umbrella...ella...ellaGoingGoingGoneJackie listening to more tales of woe

    Day 17 - Boxing Day Rain Relief

    December 26, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    We had a decent nights sleep & started the day with coffee & Christmas cake on the terrace. Jackie WhatsApp’d Chanika to let her know that the Similan Islands trip had been a great success & to enquire how she was getting on with arranging our onward travels on the 28th. All we wanted was a 1 hour 45 minute taxi ride back to Phuket bus terminal. It couldn’t be that difficult.

    Minutes later Jackie’s phone rang & she tossed her phone to me to speak with Chanika. I had a confusing conversation with her, but I ultimately worked out that she had other plans that would save us time & money. She said would need to visit us again. Not a problem we would be by the pool all day.

    Chanika arrived an hour later & sat crosslegged on the terrace floor in front of us as if we were a king & queen sitting on our thrones listening to one of our subjects. It felt a bit awkward. She wanted to see our bus tickets from Phuket to Hat Yai bus terminal. She was going to arrange for us to board the bus at Khok Kloi bus terminal instead of Phuket. This was would reduce our taxi ride to 1 hour, saving us about 1,200 baht & an extra 2 hour lie in. Perfect!

    Chanika then went into a big long sob story about how she gets up at 4am every morning to make breakfast for the Thais & she only made 45 baht profit this morning, how her mum has cancer & her brother a bad foot, but they can’t afford the hospital fee, how her electricity was going to be cut off on the 27th December & so on & so on. It didn’t make sense when she drives around in a big top of the range 4x4. We humoured her until she ran out of things to say to try and make us feel sorry for her.

    Our healthy lunch consisted of crisps, popcorn & a beer.

    In the afternoon, we sat by the pool in the scorching sun (the hottest day yet) until we had a lovely 10 minute downpour to cool us down. We stayed out in the sun until 4.30pm, when rain set in for the remainder of the afternoon.

    The rain continued until 8pm, when we went out for dinner with an umbrella. We returned to Thai Life, but went for the nearest thing we could get to a traditional Christmas dinner. Jackie ordered the Wiener schnitzel XXL, but the waitress now knowing Jackie’s sparrow like appetite suggested that they could do a smaller cheaper version for her, which she accepted. I ordered the cordon bleu chicken, but she didn’t recommend a smaller version for me! Both dinners were really delicious & we ate the lot.

    To finish the evening we stopped in the Piranha Bar for a couple of strong Thai Piranha cocktails costing just 70 baht each. The bar owner also had his own sob story which he off loaded on to Jackie.

    Song of the Day: Sunday Rain by Foo Fighters.
    Kings And Queens by Thirty Seconds To Mars.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Jackie doing her Ermintrude impression
    The shortcutThe shack

    Day 18 - Quiet Day on the Western Front

    December 27, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 28 °C

    The day started with more coffee & Christmas cake on the terrace. It was then a trip to reception to print off travel confirmations.

    We had just settled on the sun beds when Jackie’s phone rang & true to form she handed it to me like it was a ticking time bomb. It was Chanika telling us there was a problem with tomorrow. We were thinking ‘Oh here we go’, but we should have had more faith.

    Chanika told us that our bus & the only bus of the day was now leaving Phuket bus terminal at 10.30am & not at the scheduled 11.30am departure. Incredibly we had had no notification of this change & we would have missed the only bus of the day going to Hat Yai. Chanika had come up trumps yet again & she arranged to pick us up from our hotel at 9.30 in the morning.

    After an hour or so of melting in the sun, he headed into town to change some US dollars we had & to buy some provisions for our lengthy bus ride tomorrow. We stopped for a cheeky Chang in Thai Life & we ordered a bacon & onion rosti & some french fries, which didn’t let us down. We returned via my shortcut which it would seem was someone’s front garden, because we had to clamber over a barrier at the other end to get out.

    It was another lazy afternoon by the pool with a little bit of research for our onward travels. That night we went out to dinner to a little shack, ‘Give me Five’ recommended by American Dad for it’s onion soup. We both ordered the onion soup, with a portion of garlic bread to share. It tasted a lot better than it looked. We skipped mains & I had the sticky mango rice & Jackie the fried bananas & ice cream. Both desserts were huge, we struggled to finish them, but they did finish us.

    We waddled home & had a small nightcap on the terrace before calling it a night.

    Song of the Day: Drag It Down - Janice Long BBC Session by New Model Army.
    Frightened - Janice Long BBC Session by New Model Army.
    (No explanation required).    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Our battered old bus
    Jackie with Dolly PartonJackie with a cockerelOn the busLimestone rock formationsLimestone Rock FormationInteresting toilet signsJackie's new earringBackpackingCentral Festival shopping mallThe Japanese Restaurant

    Day 19 - Heading to the Deep South

    December 28, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    The alarm went off at 8am, but I had been up hours monitoring the dismal performance by United at Newcastle. We showered, packed & were in the hotel reception at 9.20am.

    Ten minutes later, Chanika rolled up in her big Mitsubishi 4x4 & jumped out dressed as Dolly Parton without the chest. She was wearing a checkered shirt, jeans & cowboy crocks! Chanika was were usual excitable self & she chatted with Jackie for most of the 50 minute journey to Khok Kloi bus station.

    At Khok Kloi we were about an hour early, but Jackie wanted to be safe rather than sorry. Chanika rang the bus company to confirm it would be stopping for us, then we insisted she waited with us no longer. We gave her a decent 500 baht tip (she had been worth every baht) & sent her on her way.

    At 11.20 a battered old bus rattled into the bus station & tooted it’s horn. The female conductor jumped out & beckoned for us to hurry over. I threw our large rucksacks into the hold & boarded the bus. The conductor squirted our hands, gave us our tickets for ‘Mr Simon’ & we were off. The bus interior was disastrous with bits missing from the back of the seats, the vinyl floor had lifted into a big bubble & their were tears in the seat. Having said all that it seemed to go well & it was comfy.

    The 1st brief stop was Phang Nga with it’s very scenic limestone cliffs & rock formations which continued all the way down to Krabi. The bus passed through Khlong Thom, Mueang Trang & Phatthalung before arriving at Hat Yai bus terminal at 6.20pm. We had only one 10 minute stop at a service station during the entire journey of 241 miles, but it did seem to pass pretty quickly. It probably helped that we had two seats each to ourselves, plenty of snacks, half a bottle of Hong Thong & I watched 4 episodes of ‘Narcos’ on Netflix on my iPad.

    When we got off the bus at Hat Yai we were mobbed by taxi drivers, but I shooed them away, because it was only a very short walk to our hotel. I hoicked my rucksack onto my back and went to start backpacking, when Jackie announced she had got her mask stuck on her earring. Her mask was hanging from her right ear, so after taking a photo of her predicament, I set about unhooking her. It took a while, with bemused taxi drivers looking on.

    Eventually disentangled, we backpacked to our hotel, PM Residence, just 400 metres away. After checking in to our very satisfactory £17 a night hotel, we immediately went back out to Central Festival shopping mall. It was huge & spread over 7 floors. We managed to do a lap of each floor (got to keep the steps up) without buying a single thing. We were also the only westerners in the shopping mall & we stuck out look sore thumbs.

    Despite having a food court on two floors we resisted the urge to eat there & instead we went to the only restaurant we had found out in streets around us. We sat down & ordered a couple of Changs, but were curtly told that they didn’t sell beer. It was a Japanese (& possibly Muslim) restaurant, called Mari Chan, but strangely it did show beer for sale in their menu!

    I ordered 2 plates of gorgeous pork Gyozas & Jackie ordered a the teriyaki chicken set, which came on five different plate including a bowl of soup & some random chunks of fish. It was an experience.

    It would appear that not that many westerners make it to Hat Yai & this was probably summed up by a little girl in the restaurant who couldn’t tear her eyes away from Jackie, probably she had never seen anyone with fair hair let alone with blue eyes! The little girl waved Goodbye to Jackie when we left until we were out of sight.

    Song of the Day: Let The Day Begin by The Call.
    Everywhere I Go by The Call.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Lunch view at Sunset Beach
    Kamikaze drivingJackie enjoying the view againQR code chaos & confusion beginsWhat is known as a 'Full Kit W@nker'SardinesArriving at Koh Khai islandOne of ten photos taken by Bangkok manFloating pontoonNearly the lastOur new home for the next 7 daysThe inside

    Day 20 - Utter Chaos & Confusion

    December 29, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 31 °C

    At 8.05am, we got down to reception just as our minibus arrived to take us on the next leg of our journey. We were driven through town by our kamikaze driver who totally ignored all road signs & traffic lights. We picked up a Spanish girl, then headed out to Hat Yai International Airport where we filled the minibus with mainly westerners who had just flown in.

    We stopped just once at a 7-11 petrol station, where I treated Jackie to breakfast - a double pack of pocket sandwiches, one filled with crab sticks & the other tuna. Apparently they are really nice! I had a pineapple Danish pastry.

    We arrived at Pak Nam at 11am to discover it was heaving with Thai holidaymakers all waiting to take the speedboats out to the islands. Apparently, Thai residents have been offered huge discounts as a government incentive to keep their tourist industry afloat.

    Jackie & I were dropped off at a tour office where we were provided with some documentation & a laminated numbered card each. We were then instructed to join the queue at the terminal for pier 3.

    We joined a queue & a lady started waving a card with a QR code on it. We photographed it with our phones but nothing happened because I’m too tight to pay for a Roaming Data add-on to my phone! We tried to explain this to the lady, whilst others huddled around us trying to photograph her QR code, but it didn’t go very well so we continued in the queue.

    We then got to another checkpoint, where they wanted to see our passports, proof of Covid jabs & the completion of an online form after downloading that QR code. The lady at the checkpoint finally understanding that that we hadn’t completed the online form ushered us to one side to complete a written information form then we pushed our way back to her. She let Jackie straight through, but after examining my passports said something about me not having the right something or other. I called Jackie back, then without explanation she waved me through. I was perplexed!

    We then all huddled together in front of Pier 3 whilst our cases & rucksacks were loaded on to the speedboat. Everyone was ready to board when a young Thai girl started barking her orders. It transpired that we were supposed to be in a queue in the order of the numbers on our laminated cards. This caused further confusion & consternation.

    At midday (30 minutes late) we had all finally boarded the speedboat & were crammed in like sardines, when we finally left the dock. After 50 minutes we slowed down at an island & the crew shouted instructions in Thai. We had no idea what they were saying & could hardly hear them anyway because some annoying Spaniards next to us were singing & laughing too loudly.

    Anyway, most of the Thais disembarked when we docked, leaving all the westerners sat where we were. The speedboat then moved away from the dock & we moved seats for more space, because we assumed that the Thais were not returning. The speedboat then dropped anchor & we realised that this was just a 15 minute scheduled stop to Ko Tarutao island, the largest island of Tarutao National Marine Park, but now we had no means of getting off.

    Thirty minutes later all the Thais eventually returned to the boat & we set off. No sooner had we got back up to full speed, when we stopped again at a beach on Koh Khai island. This time we went ashore & took a photo of it’s ‘famous’ rock arch. A Thai from Bangkok offered to take a photo of Jackie & I on my phone, but then insisted on taking 10 of the damn things. I then felt obliged to offer to do the same for him & his wife on his camera which of course he was pleased to accept.

    These scheduled stops were a nice idea in theory, but in Covid times they just added to the potential risk of Covid being spread around the boat as people fought to squeeze past others with masks generally at half mast.

    Around 2.30pm, we docked at Koh Lipe on a wobbly floating pontoon. It was chaos, but we managed to reach terra firma with all our luggage without falling off. On land an official looking lad asked us where we going & when we told him he told us to wait where we were. We assumed our hotel was sending someone out to collect us.

    We waited & waited until we were the only persons from our boat still at the pontoon port, so Jackie went back to the man who just said “You’ll have to get a taxi). Brilliant, we could have done that half an hour ago!

    The taxi was a motorbike & sidecar combination, which struggled up the steep rutted hills, but it made it to our hotel at a cost of just 50 baht each. We checked in at reception at the Bayview Sunset Resort, where we discovered that they had sent us a message that morning to ring them for a free transfer. We didn’t receive it because I’m too tight to pay for a Roaming Data add-on to my phone!

    We were initially disappointed with our new room & checked the information on booking.com to make sure we had what we had booked. We had, so we popped to the beach bar for a spot of late lunch. The prices are dearer than we had previously being paid, so we had just a couple of small beers & shared a plate of fried ribs with garlic.

    We returned to our room much happier & unpacked. We showered & sat on our balcony for a quick beer, then locked ourselves out of the room. A cleaner who was eating her dinner managed to unlock us AND offer us some of her dinner.

    We walked to Walking Street on the other side of the island & discovered it to be bustling with tourists. It was a strange experience. We walked Walking Street twice, before finally settling on a Thai restaurant that wasn’t too busy. I had crispy garlic chicken & Jackie had a spicy green curry. All just nice & then we walked it off going home shattered.

    Song of the Day: Kamikaze by PJ Harvey.
    Chaos From the Top Down by The Stereophonics.
    Sound of Confusion by Secret Affair.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Breakfast
    Just been interrogated by the Tourist PoliceLunchTripAdvisor for our restaurantA Hong Thong & coke in a ingenious stubby holder glassesNon existent sunsetHong Thong on the balconyA 'Pompadour' pleaseDid I really ask for that?Queues formingWhat was I thinking?An empty Walking Street

    Day 21 - I’ve got a New Year’s Pompadour

    December 30, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    Jackie & I were both awake around 4am fighting over the one double sheet that we had on our bed. Basically the air-con that we had paid extra for was too cold. The disagreement was resolved by adjusting the temperature to 23 degrees & Jackie putting on a fleece.

    We got up at 9am & had the shock of my life to find a saucer sized dark hairy spider on the wall in the bathroom. I told Jackie not to enter & I backed out of the bathroom to fetch my camera. It was at least 10 seconds before I could return to the bathroom by which time the huge spider had vanished into thin air. This didn’t help Jackie!

    I am not exaggerating when after googling Thailand spiders I have identified it as a black tarantula. We still haven’t found or spotted it since. Sadly I have no photographic evidence, just my eye witness testimony. I now have to thoroughly search the bathroom every time before Jackie will enter.

    We went to breakfast for an ‘American’ of eggs, bacon, chicken sausage (they can keep) toast, as well as banana muesli, fruit & coffee. It was pretty decent.

    After breakfast we sought out Lucas the resort manager to tell him we would like to have the New Years Eve dinner for two. It was something Lucas had offered us when we checked in. It was not cheap at £43 each for a 5 course meal, but our research showed that our restaurant, The Hill, was No. 1 on TripAdvisor out of 81 restaurants on the island & previous diners had described it as the best meal of their lives. On the downside the first 3 courses were fish or seafood that I don’t eat. I explained this to the incredulous Lucas who said he would try & work out some meat alternatives & to come back after 4pm to check his alternative menu for me.

    We dilly dallied on our balcony & Jackie hijacked the cleaners for an extra pillow & an extra bed sheet. We hit the beach close to midday & realised it was a small but perfectly formed beach. I had a deckchair, whilst Jackie lay on the sand until lunch, beer & some dodgy crackers with pork floss on our balcony.

    The afternoon was cloudy but we were still catching it. At 4.30pm we returned to Lucas who told us that the restaurant kitchen was too small for the chefs to cook additional dishes, but he had arranged for us to go to an Italian restaurant where they had both a fish & meat set menu. I told him that Jackie had set her heart on his NYE feast & I was prepared to sit out the 1st 3 courses if he reduced the price. He (nor Jackie) was having this & he said they would rise to the challenge & create some ‘special’ dishes for me. I suspect the chef’s will be really happy with this decision after already telling him “No chance” or probably something stronger.

    Jackie & I then grabbed a bottle of Hong Thong & some cokes from our room & sat in a deckchair to watch the non-existent sunset on Sunset Beach. Once it was clear there would be no sunset (we still haven’t seen a good one yet on this trip) we showered & headed into town.

    The Box restaurant we had earmarked for that evening’s dinner was full, so feeling brave (the 4 Hong Thongs probably helped) I ended up in the barber’s chair. I selected the ‘Pompadour’, which I now know to be a hairstyle named after Madame de Pompadour, who was a mistress of King Louis XV of France. The barber’s incredible attention to detail, including the use of a cutthroat razor, meant my haircut lasted about 40 minutes, despite a queue of customers forming. I walked out looking & feeling a million dollars for just 300 baht.

    The Box was still busy so we went to the Banana Tree restaurant where I ordered a NorthEastern Thai dish of minced pork & Jackie had chicken & cashew nuts. It was nice but not special. We managed to stay awake long enough to walk home.

    Song of the Day: Pompadour by Tim O’Brien.
    (The lyrics are brilliant. Exactly how I felt when I looked in the mirror this morning!)”    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Pre-dinner mojitos on the beach
    Dinner guests meeting placeThe menu (for Jackie)1st starter2nd starter1st mainLucas flogging his expensive Spanish wine2nd mainDessertSaying goodbye to the chefsJackie videoing the fireworksFireworks

    Day 22 - Saying Goodbye to 2021 in Style

    December 31, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    Woke up at 5am to the sound of a small animal with claws (or a tarantula with clogs on) scuttling around on our ceiling. It was most unnerving.

    I got up at 9am, looked in the mirror & remembered that I had got myself a ‘Pompadour’. I started looking for Song of the Day for yesterday’s blog & found the perfect song to sum up my new hairdo.

    Breakfast was a repeat of yesterday except that we spread our Bovril on the toast and we had a splash of rain. The hotel manager, Lucas appeared & excitedly informed me that they had got some smoked ribs in especially for me from a new supplier & I’d be the first to try them. Great, I’m now going to be a guinea pig tonight!

    After a morning on the beach we popped back to our room for just one beer each on the balcony. During our lunch break, Jackie received a friends request on Facebook from Big Anne & within minutes they were conversing about the trials & tribulations (or lack of) of getting back home. I just hope that Big Anne doesn’t get wind of my blog!

    We returned to the beach for a somewhat cloudy afternoon, then called it a day at 4.30pm to prepare for our big night.

    At 6pm & all dressed up to the nines, we went back down to our Sunset Beach to join our fellow diners for pre-dinner drinks & to watch another non-existent sunset. Our fellow diners included a family of Canadians, who were teachers living in Bangkok, a German couple who accused us of being the spitting image of a couple of her friends & 3 Brits who we didn’t actually get to talk to.

    On the beach we had a couple of mojitos & chatted to the Canadians about our respective travels & life in Thailand during the last two years. Once darkness started to fall, we were ushered up to the The Hill Restaurant, which was a beautiful setting, an open air terrace overlooking the bay. The remainder of the diners were already sat in the restaurant.

    Each group, mainly couples, had individual tables. I was proud of the fact that I was the ‘special one’ until Lucas burst my bubble by telling me that there was another meat eater in our midst. It turned out to be the accusing German woman & it would seem I was more ‘special needs’ than the ‘special one’.

    Lucas did the rounds taking drinks orders. We, like many, ordered white wine & Lucas came back with two Spanish bottles for us to choose from. We made our choice without any mention of prices to influence us. I knew it wasn’t going to be cheap!

    The 5 courses came out as per the photos & the scheduled menu. Instead of the fish I had chicken satay, spicy marinated pork & smoked ribs. Jackie definitely benefited from my ‘fish intolerance’, because she had a whole lobster to herself while other couples had to share exactly the same sized lobster & she definitely had more sashimi. What was most impressive was the fact that Jackie ate every single bit of fish, it was only when & we got to the steak course that she suffered. I did help her out!

    Lucas was extremely passionate about the food & took great delight explaining to us what each course was & how it was prepared, which all added to the overall experience.

    Despite sipping the wine instead of our usual guzzling, we had to order a 2nd bottle of wine half way through the meal. Following dessert of chocolate brownie, mango & coconut ice cream, we had a small firework display on the beach in front of us, which was intimate and a nice conclusion to the meal. Jackie videoed the tail end of the fireworks on her phone & was so pleased with herself she started WhatsApping all & sundry her firework display & with a ‘Happy New Year’.

    Lucas then invited us to join him on a bar crawl to end at Pattaya Beach in time for the fireworks scheduled to take place at midnight. We were keen to go, but we were too stuffed to contemplate drinking for the next 2 hours. We have turned into a couple of middle aged lightweights!

    I apologised to Lucas that we were too knackered & then I signed for our meal. I had a minor heart-attack when I saw the cost of the wine, luckily we didn’t know what the cost was otherwise I would never have ordered the 2nd bottle, which would have put a minor downer on the evening.

    All in all it had been a fabulous evening & one that will live in the memory for a long time to come. Surely that is what life is all about!

    We ended our evening with a couple of cheeky Hong Thongs on our balcony & retired to bed at just before 11pm.

    The 20 minutes worth of fireworks on Pattaya Beach woke me up at midnight!

    Song of the Day: Special Needs by Placebo.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Breakfast
    Sunrise Beach BarAt the end of Sunrise BeachHeading into the villageWater MonitorJackie enjoying her walkLovely nail varnish!OMG BarListen to the bandLook what you could've had!Banana & chocolate rotiMadam Yoo Hoo

    Day 23 - 2022 Explorers of the Year

    January 1, 2022 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 28 °C

    I had an absolutely rubbish night sleep. I could hear trance music in the distance, but I can’t blame it on my lack of sleep.

    At 9.30am we got up & still full, headed down to breakfast. We had the same again & were surprised to see Lucas helping out. It was very busy, but he told us most people were leaving later during the day.

    It was a bit of a grey day, so we decided this was the perfect opportunity to explore the island on foot. We initially headed for Sunrise Beach, which is a long white sandy beach on the easternmost side of the island. We passed a couple bars that still had drunk/hungover revellers who it appeared hadn’t yet been to bed this year.

    After walking the length of the beach we concluded that we much preferred our beach at Sunset Beach. Our research before booking paid off! It didn’t help Sunrise Beach that it was quite windy, which made the sea too choppy to swim in & difficult to lie on.

    We returned to the centre of the island via the locals village behind Sunrise Beach. Extremely loud techno music was blasting out of a hut for no apparent reason & inexplicably it had been going since New Years Eve night. We know because it’s the music we could hear from our hotel nearly a mile away. The village was quite frankly a bloody mess with a lot of rubbish littering the walkways. We did spot a water monitor that slid into a pond when we approached it.

    We then walked the length of Walking Street to Pattaya Beach & the scene of last night’s big firework display. There was still plenty of evidence of it on the beach with discarded sparklers & spent rockets. This was another place in need of a good clean up!

    Having walked along Pattaya Beach without finding anywhere suitable to quench our thirst, we followed a road up off the beach & within minutes we were back at our Bayview Sunset Resort. Instead of going home we walked back to Walking Street & sat ourselves down at Ja Yao Restaurant, which turned out to be staffed by slightly surly, but very camp transvestites. One waiter changed from t-shirt & jeans to a frilly blouse & pantaloons during the time we were there.

    We shared 4 well earned large Changs having walked 4.54 miles that morning according to my watch & just watched the world go by. We resisted the urge to eat, but made our mind’s up that we would just have a series of street food snacks that evening.

    We returned to our resort & booked our next accommodation for a few days time. We then decided to unadvisedly have a power nap & woke up at 6.30pm feeling groggy & not really in the mood to go out.

    We forced ourselves back out & stopped in OMG Bar for a quick drink before we ate. The bar was a sports bar with premiership football playing silently on TV screens & a decent drum & guitar duo playing cover versions live on stage. It was a great atmosphere & we stayed, slowly supping our beer, until 9.45pm, when hunger got the better of us.

    We walked back to where the street food stalls had been cooking to discover to our horror that they were all packing away without a morsel of meat left to buy. We had to make do with just a banana & chocolate roti each, whilst listening to the “Yoo Hoo” of Madam Yoo Hoo every time a westerner walked past her restaurant opposite.

    Jackie felt full after her banana roti & apparently so did I! We walked them off going back home.

    Song of the Day: Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington, Jr., Bill Withers.
    Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
    Creep by Radiohead (Album version only).
    (A selection of some of the songs played by the band OMG Bar).    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    A Huntsman Spider
    There it is!'Glamour' shoot.Snorkel & mask reading girlBad hair dayThe tides gone outLongboatPre-dinner beerStarterThe mainsFinishedCompletely finished!

    Day 24 - Spider Mystery Solved

    January 2, 2022 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 26 °C

    It was a Huntsman Spider!!

    Appearance
    If big spiders aren’t your cup of tea, we’re sorry to say that the Huntsman Spider is one of the largest in the world, growing as large as 30 cm!
    In Thailand they’re often as large as a grown man’s hand. With long, strong legs, and a fuzzy body, these spiders are a mottled brown and tan color, making them difficult to spot against a forest floor.

    Habitat
    The Huntsman Spider’s natural camouflage serves it well in the woodland and forest areas that it calls home. Unfortunately, they also are curious enough to venture into houses and dwellings in rural areas, most likely because they do not spin webs, but hunt for insects and small invertebrates.

    Bite
    Fortunately, these spiders are shy and often scared of humans. Huntsman aren’t known to aggressively bite humans, but if you do get bitten, you’re likely in for a little discomfort and swelling that will subside in a day or two.

    =======================================================================

    At 6.30am I stumbled out of bed to the bathroom & was confronted by the spider for a 2nd time. It was on the wall next to the mirror. I edged back out & grabbed Jackie’s phone. The spider had hidden itself behind all of Jackie’s clutter beside the wash basin. I couldn’t turn her flash on, probably because my hands were a bit sweaty, so I had to resort to taking a long shot in the dark with a disappointing result. The spider is definitely living in the big gap behind the cabinet in the bathroom.

    Back in bed I got back to googling & was able to identify this spider, which was probably the same as the 1st one, as a Huntsman Spider. In my defence, it would appear that Huntsman Spiders are regularly mistaken for Tarantulas. It didn’t make Jackie any happier when I read out the description above & I know I will have to conduct a thorough search from now on before Jackie enters the bathroom.

    We were treated to a ‘glamour’ shoot on the beach at breakfast. The girl had absolutely no shame or embarrassment as she stripped off down to her bikini & pranced & posed in front of us bemused hotel guests trying to eat our breakfast!

    We were also amused by the peculiar sight of a girl sat on her balcony wearing a mask & snorkel whilst reading.

    We sat in deckchairs on the beach all day with just a few beers & went out for dinner starving. We went to the Bombay Indian Restaurant and started ordering. When I got to the rice & asked if we could easily get a 2nd rice if we needed it, the waiter replied “I think you’ve ordered enough sir”. That is when you know you’ve ordered too much!!

    Our dinner consisted of popadoms with salad & mint sauce, 10 onion bhajis, a chicken tikka masala, a chicken jalfrezi, 2 naan beads & just the one steamed rice. We ate it all except 4 onion bhajis that were bagged up for us to take home for lunch. It was delicious, but we were too stuffed to do anything else after but waddle home.

    During the day & evening, I sneaked into the bathroom with my camera primed, but unfortunately there were no further sightings of our Huntsman.

    Song of the Day: Tiptoe Spider by Ray Bonneville.
    Jumpin’ Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones.    Read more

  • Simon and Jackie AnnalsNo SADness in ThailandSimon and Jackie Annals
    Our very own little mermaid or maybe just some longhaired topless hippy!
    Pattaya Beach cleaned upLunchLunch viewLooks like rain comingDefinitely looks like rain comingMore longboatsWaiting for the elusive sunsetPathetic sunsetSausagegateAt OMG Bar & the transsexual in the white dress doing the roundsListen to the band

    Day 25 - Breakfast with a Mermaid

    January 3, 2022 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    Woke up suffering the effects of eating too much curry the previous evening. It didn’t stop us going to breakfast, but Jackie could only manage coffee & some omelette. I ate all of mine & most of what Jackie would let me have of hers.

    Today’s entertainment at breakfast was the appearance of a mermaid sitting on a rock in front of us. It was like being in Copenhagen…….I imagine!

    After breakfast we collected up all our dirty clothes & dropped them off in reception (not literally) for cleaning at typically the dearest place we have so far found on our trip, 80 Baht per kilo. Jackie gave it all to the nice, but dim, girl to deal with. We have visions of our clothes being worn by all the staff, because no one has a clue who they belong to.

    With the tide being high & consuming most of our beach, we decided to have another march around the island to burn off that bloody curry. We started in reverse & explored the resorts to the west of us, including their toilets!

    We ended up on a now clean Pattaya Beach & saw 3 separate pontoons loading queues of Thais into speedboats to get them home for work in the morning. Apparently today was a Thai Bank Holiday.

    After Pattaya Beach, we did Walking Street, then walked Sunrise Beach to the ‘pleasing on the eye’ Zodiac Bar for a couple of large Changs. Black clouds gathered as we supped our beer, so we headed back through the locals village & almost undiscovered jungle tracks before arriving at the opposite end of our Sunset Beach.

    Over lunch of a Chang & onion bhajis, whilst a quick shower passed over, we googled accommodation & travel routes & booked a 2 night stay in a hotel in the place where the pink dolphins live. We aren’t going mad just yet!!

    The afternoon was spent on deckchairs on our beach, which promised to provide us with a decent sunset. The beach was fairly full with tourists with the same opinion as us. We waited until gone 6pm, but yet again it was another unmitigated flop.

    After giving it up as another lost cause, we didn’t hang about & an hour later we were heading into town. We stopped at reception & spoke to nice, but dim lady again & this time Jackie put her in charge of organising our return trip to Hat Yai Bus Terminal on Wednesday. We have now relied on her slightly more than I feel comfortable with, but hey ho!

    Tonight, we had decided that we would sample some of the fare on the street stalls, followed by a quick drink & cards back on our balcony. It didn’t end up that way.

    We started off with a couple of sausages that were reheated on the grill. Jackie started eating hers first & stopped half way through saying it wasn’t what she expected, then said it was cold/undercooked in the middle. I ate mine despite her best efforts to make me gag.

    We went to a different stall & ordered a couple of chicken sticks. Mine was nice, but Jackie said hers was a bit grisly. And who is the fussy one?Jackie then declared she wanted to go to OMG Bar for a little something else to eat & a beer.

    We arrived at OMG Bar just after 8pm & ordered 2 Changs & a Pad Thai to share from the waiters. It was a quiet night, we would eat & drink up & go. At 8.30pm, everything changed when a crowd of 30 plus people descended on OMG in a huge cloud of cannabis smoke. They were a mixture of Thais & westerners, but they all thought they were super cool. It transpired that it was the birthday day of one amongst them, a very loud dramatic transsexual in a white dress.

    This made for good people watching, but what topped it off was the same band from previously started up. The very talented duo turned out to be our waiters from when we arrived. We stayed until their final song, a decent version of Smells Like Teen Spirit.

    Song of the Day: Mermaids by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds.
    When Mermaids Cry by Eagle-Eye Cherry.
    The “In” Crowd by The Mamas & The Papas.
    Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.    Read more

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