Kanniyakumari

We were invited to spend a couple of weeks at the Matrix orphanage in the small village of Atoor, Tamil Nadu . Looking back it is amazing to reflect on so many new experiences we had that were so different from home. Nothing like a big culture shock to awaken all our senses and give perspective to our lives.
Our hosts were amazing, making sure we were as comfortable as we could be and to show us as much of their world as possible, the good and the bad. It was such a privilege to be shown it all and to be able to live with them in their community.
We saw the poorest of the poor, families from babies to grandparents living in small shacks with very basic facilities and dilapidated structures. Many were impacted by the long term effects of real life tragedies where the sole bread winner had died, leaving the family no source of income or where the family life had been destroyed by the father’s addiction to alcohol, resulting in either violence or no income..
We saw families that had small but beautiful small homes built by proud, loving and humble community minded people.
We visited the very poor suburbs and met with self help groups that collectively were slowly lifting the standard of living in their area by creating income generating activities in groups and creating a pool of funds that could be loaned to individuals for education, health and other critical events. Some activities were rudimentary like making and selling shelters from palm branches, while others purchased equipment with the loans to make and sell products. One group made very professional looking sealed packages of spices, sweets, and other food and sold them locally, others did baking or washed the linen from a nearby hotel. The self help groups have a consistent structure and very comprehensive financial records for each member. A wonderful system! We discussed opportunities for them to be more ambitious by attracting loans to buy equipment. There were over 200 of these groups, each with 20 members taking control of their destiny.
We visited churches, convents and seminaries and met so many bishops, priests, sisters and brothers. We even met a Cardinal! The church has created so many schools and colleges to lift education in the region. We visited a very impressive, internationally recognised engineering college, a teachers college and a school. Only 25 years ago, none of this existed and the area was very poor indeed. Now they have good facilities and hope.
Where ever we visited we were warmly welcomed. They were genuinely happy that we had come all the way to visit them. They saw it as a sign of love and care. For more people than we expected we were the first westerners they had spoken too. For 2 and a half weeks, we did not see a single other white face so you can imagine the looks we got, the requests for a photo and hundreds of ‘where are you from” questions. Rather embarrassingly, wherever we went, we were the guests of honour and treated like royalty. Often their were posters with our photos at the entrance welcoming us. We were given traditional welcome ceremonies so many gifts. We also couldn’t visit without being fed something. Tea, fruit, rice, bread of sorts, curry, nuts, dates, …
Overall, they were warm, welcoming and kind people. The sisters in particular always had gentle warm smiles and loved to feed us.
A key feature of our time was the food. At every meal (even breakfast) there was rice or a variety of rice bread and a curry sauce of some sort. So many wonderful flavours. Then all sorts of delicious tasty bites made from cauliflower or breads and many other veggies. The fruit was locally grown with at least 5 types of bananas, mango, apple, jack fruit, pineapple, pomegranates, dates, etc. We had the lids of coconuts cut off so we could drink from them and then chopped open to eat the fruit.
The primary purpose of our visit was the orphanage. We found out that the majority of the boys were not actually orphans but from homes impacted by the effects of alcohol. Often the most terrible stories of violence where they could not continue to live safely at home. Sometimes the stories had happy endings where the father managed to kick the habit or other family members helped. Matrix is just the most wonderful place for these boys. Not only do they have quality shelter, nutritious food and education but a team of people around them who provide them love, care and hope and a structured life where they learn life lessons, all lead by the wonderful Fr Maria, the most caring, compassionate person you will ever meet. His focus is primarily on the poor and those most in need. They wake each morning for prayers at 5:45, do homework from 6 to 7, chores from 7 to 7:30, then breakfast and school. Returning from school their is scheduled study time, then outdoor games (volleyball, basketball, badminton and local games) then bath time, dinner, prayers and study time. The boys also help with the rubber tree plantation on the property. The trees are tapped for milk, which is collected on small trays and turned into latex sheets, which is then sold for a small amount.
We ate and played with them, attended the evening study session, helping them with English and other subjects. In this time we were able to develop relationships with the individual boys. They were so well mannered and craved attention. They would offer to do everything for us. We shared so many special moments with them.
We visited many new places. Some of which are: Kanyakumari, the southern most tip of mainland India and is the meeting point of the 3 seas surrounding India ( Indian Ocean, Arabian Sea, and the Bay of Bengal), Ghandi Memorial, the oldest standing church in the World founded by St Thomas in 60 AD, many interesting places dedicated to their new Saint, St Devasahayam, who was born as an upper caste Indian Man and converted to Catholicism. He embraced Christianity and championed the rights of India’s lowest castes preaching the equality of all people despite rigid caste differences. It was for this reason that he was persecuted and killed. We attended the 70th anniversary of the death of Mar Ivanios, the first Archbishop of the Syro Malankara Catholic Church and is in line of becoming another Indian Saint.
All this came with the culture shock. You can prepare yourself as much as possible but you don’t know until you are there what will be different. It was not good or bad just different and the key is to identify it early and adapt quickly. Where they were aware of the difference they would offer us an alternative but often they didn’t know. The culture differences don’t seem like much in hindsight but when they hit you all at once it can be confronting. Here are a few examples that become normal for us:
- bathing with a bucket of cold water
- the very close personal space barriers
- eating meals with someone standing next to you, waiting to serve, more dishes, etc. they first make sure the guest has eaten and when you leave they eat.
- eating the food with your hands, everything- even curry and rice. (We were offered cutlery but did try to be a local
- the traffic and driving, overtaking with traffic coming towards you, swerving and only having an “Indian seatbelt” otherwise known as a prayer. The huge number of Motorbikes with 2, 3 or 4 people on them and no one wearing helmets, and often carrying wares of sorts
- the many street animals that wander the streets and are quite used to the traffic
- the conservative style of dress. Saris are actually worn as an everyday outfit. Men wear long pants always and the women don’t show their ankles.
- being the guest of honour wherever you go and being treated like royalty. Always in the limelight and being made a fuss of, from people we would normally look up to
- being woken up very early by the call to pray from surroundings churches. Microphones and loudspeakers are used for every occasion. It is quite normal to hear the entire service from a nearby church.
- the different Catholic rite, Syro-Malankara. Thankfully we had an order of service in the local Tamil and English, so we could follow along
- eating when you visit so as not to offend, even after a huge lunch
- or being able to go for a walk
- the language barrier
- shopping was a challenge
All in all, an incredible experience we will never forget.Read more