Temple Bar food Market

After all the excitement of Eurovision in Liverpool, it was time to move onto our next destination. We took a 1pm flight from Dublin travelling Aer Lingus, or as we fondling called it Air Cunnilingus. I don’t know if lingus has a different meaning in Irish Gaelic but who calls an airline Aer Lingus. The plane was the size of a mini cooper and the airline hostess had left her fake tan on for way too long – think Donald Trump oompa loompa – with drawn on eye brows that look like she had used a whiteboard marker.

Yet another episode of Lost World played out before we had even left Liverpool. This time it was a double episode. Jason was convinced he’d lost his lock for his backpack and now he was going to be the next Schapelle Corby with drugs planted in his bag by baggage handlers. Except it was attached to his bag, hidden inside. It was my turn to enter the lost world at Dublin airport, when I tried to find my wallet. Thankfully it was buried deep inside my bag. Crisis averted.

We arrived in the city centre of Dublin and blindly followed Google Map’s directions. With no numbers on the buildings it was a stab in the dark; but, where we were just didn't look right. As we backtracked, a guy in a car stopped and asked if we needed directions. When we said we were looking for our Airbnb, he said that we were definitely in the wrong area, unless public housing started to advertise on the app.

We walked further along the street still unable to locate the correct building. Another guy stopped his car in the middle of the road and asked if we needed help. They pointed us in the right direction. When we eventually found the correct building, there were so many key safes we don't know which to check. And they all had the same pin code. Then the door game begins. Wherever we stay, the doors are always a challenge. Hold the handle at a 45 degree angle, turn left and right while standing on one foot. It usually only takes until our final day, and many days of fumbling around, to figure it out.

Immediately I noticed that the area seemed to be populated with people doing drug deals and doing drugs in the street. The streets are lined with people huddled together exchanging things from their pockets. As we were wandering through the city centre, we heard a woman yelling and screaming. We took a wide berth as we passed her. But that didn’t stop her screaming at us: “and what are you looking at?”. We had been looking at the street exhibition showcasing Irish oddballs and oddities who became synonymous with Dublin. She probably will make it to the wall one day ... maybe. Connor, the friendly Irish boy who gave us directions, warned us to be careful, that gangs operated in the area and that people would rob you for €20. The only rock available in Ireland isn’t emerald but crystal meth!

Dublin's footpaths are littered with dog shit but there were no dogs to be seen. Maybe it wasn't dog shit. Dublin is also a lot more cosmopolitan than we had expected. I mean we weren’t exactly expecting leprechauns and a city of gingers. Despite being multicultural, we stood out as foreigners. I'm sure it's because we weren't wearing track suits. Ninety percent of men in Dublin wear track suits, or just track pants – trackie dacks – without any underwear. You know we can see your religion!

The next day, we visited Dublin Castle, a former Motte-and-bailey castle that now serves as the current Irish government complex and conference centre. Most of the buildings date from the 18th century. It’s difficult to reconcile the opulence of the castle when there is still poverty and homelessness in the streets. We have been indoctrinated to believe that the historical buildings of Europe are symbols of glory and pride; but, all of this was achieved through colonial violence and theft. We need to continue to decolonise ourselves and remember that many others have had to suffer (and continue to suffer) from our colonialist past.

After our tour of Dublin Castle, we wandered through the Temple Bar district. As we walked through the streets, a guy came towards us with a clipboard and blurted something out. Was it English or Irish Gaelic? I think it was something about signing something. Who knows but we quickly changed direction.

The Irish continue to remind us of the famine that they experienced in the 19th century, worsened by the British colonists, and the reason many Irish migrated to Australia and the US. Two Aussie boys may experience famine because the prices of food is so high! A potatoes-only diet for us for the next few days.

Wandering the streets for hours on end always ends up in a search for a toilet. One of our pet peeves about many countries is charging to go to the toilet. I mean it’s a basic need for all of us. And if they want to stop people going in the streets then provide public accessible toilets. In Dublin, the toilets even have tap-and-pay facilities to pay the 25 cents (about 50 Australian cents).

On our third day in Dublin, we headed to Trinity College to see the Book of Kells, an 8th-century illuminated manuscript of the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Afterwards we wandered the campus taking in more colonialist propaganda.

It wouldn't be a trip to Ireland without tasting guinness, even though I despise the taste. The half pint didn’t change my opinion. We followed the guinness with an Irish stew and Irish whiskey at O’Shea’s pub. On the way to the pub, we saw the Gardai (police) about to raid a house, with battering rams, while drug dealers continued to deal on the street corners. It might be time to move on.

Next destination: Belfast.Read more