Kraków

The day started with me taking a 10am train from berlin to krakow, which took about 7 hours. Here i left my companian Nik whilst he went to Ibiza and i was to tour Auschwitz. Not contrasting activities at all...

The train ride was relatively unpleasant on a surprising 36 degree day. My first class carriage had "airconditioning" which didnt function at all, as the train had so many airgaps that whatever air was being processed im sure was whisked away into nature. The Polish trains also had this rather odd hogwarts express layout where all the seats were 3 abreast facing another 3 people with no table in between. Making for lots of odd and awkward head gestures between people. So i knuckled down and glued my sweaty back to the seat and enjoyed the polish scenery.

One of the most amazing things (for me) about poland is that their currency the polish zloty is very weak compared to the aud (1AUD = 2.7 zlt) making things for me rather cheap compared to the overpriced nature of Germany 🇩🇪. Polish is also such a phenomenaly hard language to speak that everyone spoke very good English by default. To give you an idea of how difficult polish is to an english speaker hello in polish is spelt cześć or witam. Now, myself trying to form full sentences of that through google Translate, was very impossible. I tried not to be a demanding American and ask first if english was okay in the native tongue. But alas, even that i couldn't manage.

The salt mine tour I booked conveniently included a complimentary 7pm tour of old town Krakow. I had no expectations besides that id been told good things. Krakow was set out very defensively with the entrance into the town guarded by a castle with a moat and drawbridge that in older times had to be entered before you could gain access to the town. With large 10m or so brick walls all over the town it was a migty impressive sight. Entering the boulevard there, i noticed there was certainly no shortage of dessert shops. In fact i somewhat struggled to find a spot to have a non sugary meal afterwards. The guide informed us that the square is the oldest medievel square in Europe with a vast 200x200m size and he certainly wasn't wrong. It was a very impressive sight. There was also a church which was the peoples church that had one steeple under construction. A rather tall church, we were told the public funded it extensively back in the day so that the 'people' appeared as wealthy and aided in building a good sense of community.

I headed back to my tiny apartment with no airconditioning with the bed placed annoyingly at the highest point of the apartment in the attic for a hot, sweaty, and rather uncomfortable sleep. Waking at 5am the next day for Auschwitz birkenau (to be covered separately).

The day after this i went to this place called the salt mines. Which i had no expectations of what to expect. I assumed with the name like salt mine and, being offered alongside my Auschtwitz tour, it was connected in a concentration/labour camp sort of way. I was quite wrong. With the salt mine being established in the 1200s it was not connected at all.

To start off, I was warned of 1000s of steps and cramped headroom descending to depths of 190m. This only served to make me more excited, remembering my time in broken hills old mines as a 6 year old, old mineshafts with timber supports and all hand tunnelled got me excited for what was to come.

Descending 55 flights of stairs on this 100% wooden staircase took me into the first level of the mine at a mere 90m depth. There was so much wood! Everywhere, it was mental. The guide informed me that on the first level alone, 1 million cubic metres of wood were used (4mil for the entire mine). They had trunk after trunk piled on top of each other for structural support.

With this being the oldest level most of the wood had turned solid through the humidity expanding the timber, allowing salt to pour into the timber and then the timber contracting as it cooled down leaving nothing but salt crystals inside the timber. Effectively preserving the timber and turning it into stone in the process. I'll hurry this description along now before it turns too, Lucinda, like and loses my cool casual narrative style.

The guide absolutely loved the salt crystals. They were such "beautiful, gorgeous, thick, pure" deposits everywhere. When she would show deposits of 90% purity or more, her voice would turn into a loving romantic voice. Almost as if she was telling us about her summer romance with her high school boyfriend. We descended the mine for ages going through various airlocks until kaboom wow. We entered a chamber where the miners had tunnelled and built their own underground church. Now, I'm in Europe, theres a lot of churches I've been seeing everyday all very impressive and old, but i dont think any church i will ever see, will now be able to compare with the scale, uniqueness and charm of this church. Mining was a very dangerous job and as such they were all highly religious, which is what pushed them to build these places of worship. There was many other lovely large chambers and clear blue bodies of water inside the mine you can see in the pictures.

I head back to my accommodation afterwards and i heard some gunshots when walking back from my solo dinner. After the initial concern i tracked the sound to this indoor gun range which intrigued me. It was very cheap to shoot a bunch of different weapon systems, so i went in (with thongs lol) and asked to shoot 3 guns, a pistol, an AR rifle and an ak. They didnt ask me if i had any experience etc. After the initial briefing on how to use the range and guns i shot the AR-15 and after 5 shots the guy was like (*polish accent "damn you're a natural") then after my mag ran out and i habitually went through my empty mag weapon drill he looked at me a bit funny but didnt say anything. Then when i shot the pistol (ignoring how he told me to hold it and instead holding it how i was trained) and got a good grouping he was like... have you done this before? I told him i was an ex rifleman and then he goes. "Ahh for fuuucks sake shouldve told me now i look like big idiot to you." This turned into me giving a mini seminar to him and his colleague about why we hold the pistol the way we do. How i hold the rifle etc (bringing the rifle to my eyes, not my head to the rifle... allows you to get a sight picture quicker). Finally when i shot the AK (which im familiar with as we had to train with it, as you're expected to know how to operate enemy combatants weapons) the polish guys got a bit of a hard on i think, i felt like quite the celebrity and very SAS like shooting while wearing thongs, a bucket hat and a tshirt and shorts.

Also dear readers, im aware there is a competing blog in the form of an unsavoury human aka my little sister Lucinda. This lesser publication with its fancy "laptop," and "proper grammar." Will not be able to compete with the authenticity and many photos published in this publication i assure you. This may be due to active sabotage on my part when I see the editor in a week. (Luci if you read this im totally joking)Read more