Villaviciosa

What a day. While a short waking day, it offered me a challenge, that’s what the Camino is all about. Rain. I fricken hate hiking in rain. Give me a mountain, a steep downhill, but please don’t add rain. When the rain comes, I’m ready to throw my hands up and call it a day. Everything is harder in the rain. But I did it. It wasn’t a downpour, but enough to remind me it’s there and it sucks. But the blessing is that it’s not scorching hot. It is stretching me past my comfort zone and showing me I can power through. I am capable of more than what I think. Far more than I think. I’m kinda hard on myself, I think I can always do better, do more, etc. Is this a human thing or just a Tammy thing? I like this about me in a sick way. It means I am always trying to do better, because hey, I can. We all can right? I want to keep learning. I want to continue to grow, as painful as it is sometimes. I still haven’t ‘arrived’. Not to Santiago or in my career or as the wife, mother and grandmother I want to be. As someone in my 20’s and 30’s I thought the whole goal in life was to ‘arrive’. I remember seeing a license plate on a fancy car many years ago that said ‘arrived’. I thought that was fantastic at the time. What an achievement! Go you!! What a sell out. I’ve come to believe if you think you’ve come to that place in life where you can just stop trying, you’re foolish. You’re selling yourself short. I can’t sell myself short. It ain’t in me. I’ve noticed that here. Every mountain, every steep decent, every beautiful view, every delicious little coffee, conversations in broken English, or very broken Spanish, it’s always a push. Life is a push. I love the push. Maybe that is why I love love my career. There is never a slam dunk. It always takes a ton of work to get everyone happily to the closing table. It’s never ‘sold’ until
it’s recorded and the challenge is real. Usually a home is people’s most valuable asset I am dealing with. I need to be my best. Those who see my quick little posts on FB saying ‘just sold’ or ‘just listed’ may think it’s easy what I do, but it’s so not, and I welcome the challenges they all bring. During that process I am developing relationships that last forever. My clients are my friends. I love them. And they come back to me. That’s the blessing. It’s proof that if you work hard, enjoy the process, work through the hard, you are basically blessed with more challenges and opportunities. Yes, blessed.
Here I am, hiking through Spain, feeling like a vagabond most days, and hoping my clients and family know, this is for them. And me. You get a stronger, happier me, every time. Allowing myself to step away from my family and work is harder for me than walking 500 miles. Every time I do it I come back better. Healed more. Stronger. And thinner 😆. And I am ready to dive in to it all as the plane touches down. It’s my passion. I am grateful.
Not sure why I am going deep here with this tonight, maybe it is the cider I just slammed down the street, maybe it is because I am a couple weeks in and this is when my emotions start surfacing, or maybe it’s just what is in my heart today. It’s what you get. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve had a couple easy 10-12 mile days and I am about to do 20 tomorrow. Freakin out a little. Those big days push me so damn much. I have often said before anyone makes a big decision like getting married or divorced, starting a business, closing one up, retiring, do a Camino. Find out who and what you are committing to, who and what are you are leaving, and what choices you’re about to make. You need clarity? This is the place. Who are you under pressure? Who is the love of your life when things get hard? Do they quit? Do they cry? Are they angry? Are you? Am I? Is the little child in them (or you, or me) going to run or fight? What do you need? What do you need to let go of? How do you grieve loss? Ya. It’s real. It’s revealing. God this is revealing. Maybe that’s why this path isn’t packed with people. Its hard to do these things and look straight into they eyes of scary. To reveal who you really are under the nice clothes, shoes, and makeup. It’s easier to drink, eat, workout excessively, and forget about deep personal growth, prayer, and becoming the best you can, the happiest you can be. I’ve felt pure happiness, the truest love, abuse, neglect, failure, embarrassment, good and bad decisions. Here, I’m taking the steps, not towards perfection, but towards a better me, a stronger me. Obviously, after 8 times here, I am a huge work in progress 😂.
ANYWAYS, that’s where I am at right now. I will get back to talking about pretty flowers, amazing sea views, and incredible food tomorrow, hang with me. I do this blog more for reflection later for me, so if this is too much, I get it. We aren’t in the same mindset. But I have vowed to keep it real and not sugar coat it every day with my “fabulous adventures”, because that’s not why I am here. I don’t do superficial. I love and appreciate you all. Really. ❤️Read more