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October - November 2021
A 29-day adventure by Nick Read more
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  • TravelerThailand
    Day 12

    Sunrise Doi Suthep & Hidden Temple Tour

    November 3, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 66 °F

    I already did a temples tour and am pretty temple’d out. I’m up at 4:45am (not happy), out the door at 5:15am, at the most famous temple in Chiang Mai by 6am. It’s still very dark out and we climb 72 steps to the temple at the base of Doi Suthep Mountain. The monks are doing their morning chants (Buddha scripture readings. Think of priests reading from the Bible in perfect harmony and rhythm). The sun rises at 6:15am and this is where things turned around. It was something really special. I’ve seen sunrises before, 90% of which I wished I didn’t see, but for the 10% that were also really cool, this one takes the prize. Scattered thunderstorms is the typical weather forecast here during the rainy season so what you get in the distance is this mix of clouds, sun, city lights, and rain. Super unique.

    You’re in the jungle so you hear the monkeys, sunrise roosters, jungle dog barks, and a high pitched screeching noise made by the Cicadas (insect, it’s loud). Pohn is once again my private tour guide (he spent about 7 years at this temple in his monk days), so he educates me on how this location was chosen. 700 years ago, the king had a white elephant (sacred animals). The story goes that the white elephant chooses the spot for where a temple must be built. The elephant climbed the mountain and stopped at 2 locations (the first was the Hidden Temple, we’ll get to that), the 2nd location was where the elephant laid down and was where the Doi Suthep Temple was to be built. Maybe the elephant was just tired from climbing the mountain, but I wasn’t going to suggest that.

    The temple is stunning; a huge pagoda made of pure gold (painted to look like it), flowers everywhere, beautiful sculptures, etc. There were also dogs everywhere, monk dogs. They were very protective when we arrived, I was told to stand perfectly still until they were done inspecting me. After the monks are finished with their morning chants, they make their rounds collecting food from the visitors. A bow is given to the monks along with the food, and they in exchange bless you after you make a wish. I wished to bring home the doggos, kidding. One of the dogs hopped up on the bench next to me where I was sitting and brought me a rose pedal in its mouth. There are a lot of stories of wild dogs biting people so apparently you never want to get “too close.” Fuck that, he brought me a rose pedal, he gets all the pets. One of the monks came over and tried to make the dog leave me alone and the dog wouldn’t budge. Pulling his ear, nope. Yelling at him to come, nope. Finally had to drag him away from me. This dog was my spiritual Winston 🥺.

    Our next stop was the Hidden Temple, because you guessed it, it’s hidden in the jungle and not a lot of people know about it. This place was something out of a movie. It reminded me of the feeling I got when I saw Matchu Picchu for the first time, you can’t describe the beauty. A water fall runs through the middle of the temple on a hilltop with unreal views and overall serenity. The pictures don’t do it justice. I met a couple nice monks, one of which was shredded. All monks are either skinny or fat, nothing in between. So I ask Pohn, what’s up with that guy? “Oh him, he climbs the mountain every day,” in his robe…and sandals. I realize at this moment I am destined to be a forest monk.

    Before Pohn drops me off at the train station we stop at the “Thai Denny’s (my phrase, not his)” since I told him I would treat him to an “American breakfast.” Apparently there’s a sandwich there he loves, which was a cheeseburger with a fried egg on top. It cost $1.50. If Pohn’s happy, I’m happy. That’s a wrap on Chiang Mai, on to Pai.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 13

    Pai Pam Bok Waterfall

    November 4, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 79 °F

    Before I get to the town of Pai, let’s talk about the “bus” to Pai. The “bus” is a minivan that is completely packed with people. It’s a 3 hour ride with exactly 762 turns (it’s a well known fact), and I’m in the very back window seat. Thank Buddha that Kong gave me a few drinks the night before and my jungle temple tour with Pohn started at 5am that morning because I popped some anti-sickness pills and slept the entire way…well almost. I woke up to soldiers with a drug dog sniffing the back of the van, where my and only my luggage was kept. I’m half asleep so I don’t care, sniff away, until I realize the roughly 3 grams of weed the airbnb host gave me is in my bag. It’s actually in a side pocked completely exposed to the dog’s nose. I can’t make this shit up, I’m dead serious. So internal panic mode sets in, I wake up, and start visualizing myself getting Thai tattoos in a jungle prison for the next 10 years. “Shit Nick, what happened?” You’re probably wondering. Well I’ll tell you.

    The drug dog (a German Shepard) fucking sucks at his job, that’s what. I could smell the weed from the back seat but he couldn’t. We were on our way to Pai and I’m back to sleep. I promise you I’m a very intelligent human being, I just packed the night before when I was a little buzzed. Thanks a lot Kong.

    The small town of Pai is super cool and unique, it reminds me a lot of Berkeley mixed with OB but more extreme on the hippie scale. The is the only place I’ve seen tourists so far, and they don’t actually count as tourists since almost all of them have long term visas. I love the hippie vibes, restaurants, cafes, yoga spots, and live music at night, it’s a chill vibe. I’m staying at the Nest House, a little 1 star jungle hut hotel with the bare minimums (no A/C sucks balls) and I actually don’t mind it at all. There’s even a nifty mosquito net to save me from these blood sucking monsters.

    Quick break, I’m in a cafe enjoying a coffee watching a white woman chase her runaway Thai dog down the street. Caught the dog and gave him/her a quick spank then loaded him/her onto her scooter and drove away. I love Thailand. Reminder that there are stray dogs EVERYWHERE. My Muay Thai trainer this morning showed me his gnarly dog bites he just got so they’re not all Winstons.

    Back to the post. love 5 star resorts, I love nice shit, but this was perfect. It reminded me of my last solo trip to Costa Rica when I stayed in a similar place. It humbles you, which is exactly what I need right now. The first night I stop for dinner at the Gyoza Queen stand, because who doesn’t love Gyoza. I’m watching her hand make the Gyoza then fry them in a cast iron pan so of course I have to try. 6 gyoza for 50 baht, or less than $2. FIRE. I then cross the street and get a Banh Mi sandwich that’s very popular here. FIRE. 69 baht, $2. I visit the local clothing store and buy some swag. First night is a great success.

    Wake up the next day and head to the Pam Bok Waterfall, which is pretty poorly rated on Google but reading closely it’s because there isn’t enough water in the dry season. It’s been storming so I decide to go. About a 20 minute broom vroom and I’m chasing waterfalls. No words for how cool this waterfall is, squeezed in between two canyons, plenty of refreshing water to take a dunk in. I stop by the Container Bar on the way back with a dope vibe and even better view. Of course, I’m the only one there since I have Thailand to myself apparently. A coffee and fresh coconut later, I’m on the way back to town for lunch at Two Sisters just up the street from my hotel. Pad Thai, Khao Soi, Tea Leaf Salad, and a smoothie for less than $10. FIRE.

    Pai is a vibe.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 14

    Pai Canyon

    November 5, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 81 °F

    No, I don’t filter my photos, Pai Canyon was just that unreal. It’s their version of our Grand Canyon a tiny percentage of the size, but still very picturesque. Small little areas to squeeze through, very slim walking areas with cliffs on your left and right (yes, stumble and you either die or close to it), and sunsets you have to see to believe. I’ve had the privilege of traveling all around the world seeing stunning sunsets and this was definitely in the top 3. #1 Peru, #2 Costa Rica. By the time this trip is over I’m sure those will change. It’s only 15 minutes south of Pai and my only regret is not coming here for sunrise as well.

    Earlier that day I did some Muay Thai training again. The goal is to do it in every city I’m in and so far I’m 3 for 3. Why? Because it’s an amazing workout and it’s their thing, it’s also a cultural experience and a chance to vibe with these guys. They’re actually really funny and if they hate the way you do something they will let you know, they keep you humble. They’re not afraid to hurt your feelings because they legitimately want you to get better, and they slap you around a bit. The guys in the picture are the trainers and you might think they’re out of shape but they’ll prove you wrong quick. I’m definitely continuing this in San Diego.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 16

    Koh Phaluai and Ang Thong Marine Park

    November 7, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 82 °F

    I arrived in Koh Samui and was picked up by Jar, my private driver the Airbnb host recommended. I booked a secluded hilltop villa overlooking a semi-private beach and views for miles. This was VERY secluded. The host, his wife, and doggo live on the bottom floor of the villa which is completely isolated from my area. I have my own wrap around deck, outdoor shower, and access to the villa’s infinity pool ($70/night), as well as a 2 bedroom 1 bath living area. A slight upgrade from my hut in Pai.

    First day in Koh Samui was spent well. I booked a catamaran snorkeling island hopping tour on TripAdvisor and just like all of the other tours I booked so far on this trip, they messaged me saying there were not enough people to do the trip, but suggested a different tour. I said sure, this has worked out for me so far, I’ll take a private island hopping tour. So this was not so private, 24 people on the speedboat. 20 Thai people on vacation, and 2 German couples. All of which were surprised as hell to see the American, especially the American by himself. The only people that were not coupled up was a older Thai man on vacation with 5 women. He was wearing a baseball hat, glasses, cargo shorts, floral Hawaiian shirt, sneaks. He didn’t stop smiling the entire trip, I wonder why (5 women with him). He immediately sees me and wants to be friends (the other Thai people looked scared of me and the Germans literally wanted nothing to do with the American, at least at first).

    After basic small talk I ask for his name and he says, “Call me Add, A-D-D,” and in the 2 seconds I have to think, several jokes are running through my mind but I tell myself, “No Nick, he won’t get it, be normal.” I say, “I’m Nick, it’s a pleasure to meet you, but my friends call me Subtract.” He roars in laughter. I apologize and tell him we Americans think we’re funny. Like everyone else, he says he hasn’t ‘seen an American in a long time and he’s been to Madison, WI (work stuff), and has done a drive from LA to Oregon on Hwy 1. He hates LA; I tell him don’t worry, we all do, he laughs.

    Our first stop on the tour was to take pictures around Monkey Island (there are no monkeys, the island just looks like a monkey, see pic) then on to snorkeling. Honestly, I’ve had better snorkeling in Hawaii and the Bahamas but still fun. There are tiny little baby jellyfish in the water (think of Dori from Finding Nemo and the Squishy), except they don’t sting you. They only bop around and look like specs. In actuality, they do sting a small bit but feels like a baby zap. No worries, unless I see a big one, then I’m fucking out (I wrote about my experience in Italy).

    Next stop, the viewpoint over Emerald Lake/Blue Lagoon and surrounding islands. You have to climb some almost vertical stairs for about 20 minutes to get to the top and wow, see pics. The lagoon/lake is made from the ocean water pouring through some small openings in underwater caves and since you are not allowed to swim in it (protected by the national park), there are fish everywhere and it’s undisturbed. It’s stunning.

    Next stop is lunch at “Number 1 Seafood” (yes, seriously) on an island where we ate the Thai basics and got to check out the Great Hornbill eating some bananas. I called it the banana head bird, see pic. After lunch, we stopped on another island to climb to the top of Pha Jun Jaras view point. I read in the reviews that this climb is tough, but these are just tourists, what do they know. Apparently they know enough, because this shit was not easy. 5000 ft climb to the top, almost vertical stairs carved out of the mountain. This was actually really entertaining because the chain-smoking Germans were dying, followed by the Thai girls who kept yelling things in Thai translated to something like “fuck this.” One of the girls kept yelling “Hiyah!” As she took her steps and I was laughing very hard.

    The Germans had deep accents and if you’ve never heard a German accent, it’s quite funny. In an effort to bring peace (remember, I’m 1/2 Jewish), I was cheering them on telling them their delicious cigarettes were waiting for them at the top. If you can’t tell, I try to use humor in situations where I meet new people. We all make it to the top and a guide gives the girls a sniff of Amonia (apparently it wakes you the fuck up), and the Germans didn’t understand what it was. I try explaining, and one guy says, “Oh, it’s like Cocaine.” I start laughing and say yes, except it won’t stop your heart right now. We all laugh and I tell them my funny story from Berlin (this is a PG13 post). We’re friends now.

    After getting dropped back off of the villa I order food for delivery since I’m so damn tired, and quite honestly it was trash. I’ll stick to DoorDash, fuck off Food Panda. In all, it was an amazing day and it taught me to be ok in awkward situations. I’m sure I’m probably a pretty cold human when you first meet me but then I warm up, just like some people on the boat today. There are some people like Add, that are fearless in social situations, and I love him for it. Everyone is a little different and that’s ok, I’ll be a lot more approachable next time.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 17

    Fisherman’s Village - Ko Samui

    November 8, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 81 °F

    Coco Tam’s is a beach club/bar in Ko Samui that has really cool fire shows and jet ski hover board guys that come on around 7pm. The vibe here is Mykonos meets Tulum but absolutely zero partying because 99% of people are still scared to come here due to covid or due to the fact that Ko Samui is still about 90% closed. Almost everyone here is Thai and on vacation similar to how we would go to Hawaii. Thailand is still about 75% closed based on what I’m seeing and hearing. That 25% is perfect for what I want out of this trip but it’s becoming more and more clear why I haven’t seen one American so far, and I’m understanding why everyone is staring at me with disbelief everywhere I go. Even my driver asked me what I was doing here, “There’s no party…you get massage? Nothing else to do” he said when he picked me up. If I’m being honest he asked if I was planning to go get “boom boom.” I laughed and said no man, I’m just here to chill. He was shook as apparently every American just comes to Samui to get trashed (short ferry ride to the Full Moon Party.) Should we start the U-S-A chants now or later?

    I’m not writing about Chaweng Beach because I went there, and it was scary abandoned. Hard Rock Cafe looks like the zombie apocalypse came and went, restaurants all closed, even 7-Eleven is closed! The only establishments that are open are massage parlors, a couple fake designer stores (I may have purchased an LV belt for $10, I can’t recall), the gym (really nice gym I spent a couple hours at to kill time), and an Indian food restaurant where I had the best Indian food I’ve ever had. Chicken Tikka Masala, Garlic Naan Bread, veggie biryani, and a salad. FIRE. I had literally been walking up and down the street looking for restaurants Google claimed were open but every time I would locate one.. closed. Ok, walk 15 minutes down the street to the next.. closed. Ok walk back down this alley.. closed. I’m sweating profusely at this point, and I walk passed this man sitting in front of his restaurant and I stop to Google it, seems legit. “Are you open?” I say, “Yes, yes, yes” he says.

    I tell him I’ve been walking around and failing and he replies “it’s been like this for 2 years, you are first American.” Common reply by now so I tell him I’m hungry, let’s get it. I order Indian food like once every 2 months. It’s not that I don’t like it, I do, there are just other cuisines higher on my priority list. Plus, my experiences so far have just been meh. Indian curries and Thai curries are completely different by the way. Anywho, the food was amazing. Not heavy, super clean, spice was perfect, crushed it. What I’ve come to learn about telling people I’m a chef is one simple thing… when I compliment them on their food, it makes them feel that much better because of the credibility.

    I have done this several times here in Thailand when I genuinely love the food and I can see their faces light up, I can even hear them celebrating in the back (I don’t understand what they’re saying but it sounds jolly and I can hear the word “American or California” and “chef” being used.) Funny thing is, I’m not a chef. I couldn’t officially finish culinary school due to covid. I have never worked in a restaurant. But who the fuck cares? I know food. I also know restaurant owners here who have been devastated worse than we have in America and cannot fucking wait to serve people “normally” again. A compliment goes a long way. Appreciating their service goes a long way. They are not expecting a tip and are very surprised when I leave one. They just want an opportunity to have a business again.

    I’m tearing up just writing this because 90% of restaurants I have been in on this trip have been empty and super excited to seat me. I ask them all how they’re doing, “Not good” they say. I try to order enough food for two people and watch their funny reactions. I have not been disappointed so far and I let them know every time how much I like it. If they don’t speak English (about half don’t), I use Google Translate to type up something nice to them about their food. I must confess last night I couldn’t finish a soup dish because my mouth was on fire and I was crying. I apologized for being such a wimp then ordered bananas soaked in coconut cream like a giant baby. This was “European spicy” they said, not even Thai spicy. My driver made a joke about spicy food, “Men need spicy for sexy, women need spicy to stay sexy.” If that’s true bro then I’m locked and loaded because the only non-spicy food here is at breakfast. I don’t know what he meant about women and I’m scared to find out.

    It was also my final night in Samui so I decide to take a dip in the pool and enjoy a cloudy sunset.

    Bonus: I left my credit card at the sushi restaurant in Chiang Mai I wrote about previously. I messaged my buddy and chef, Kong, and guess what arrived at my Airbnb in the mail? I asked to mail him back cash to cover the cost and he said no. I promised to pay it forward. Thank you.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 20

    Khao Sok National Park

    November 11, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ 🌧 75 °F

    A 1.5 hour ferry ride from Samui then about 4 hours of van shuttles and I’m in Khao Sok. One of the world’s oldest evergreen rain forests, older than the Amazon. I read about what I was getting myself into, but I honestly had no idea I would be in the REAL jungle, I imagined another Pai hut living situation. My bungalow is legit in the jungle with a river outside of the balcony. I woke up this morning to monkeys on my balcony and in the trees making all types of noise, usually it’s just roosters. The hotel owner warned me to not leave the doors open because the monkeys are clever enough to find a way in and make a mess. I laughed, but she was dead serious. The restaurant next door is along the riverbed and there are bats that fly very close over your head at night. The jungle makes ALL types of noise at night, a symphony of mammals, amphibians and insects. It’s also pitch black, so walking back to my bung from the restaurant (about 300 meters. Yes, I’m a metric guy now) after dark was a mistake. The only light outside at night is my phone flashlight. Surprisingly enough, after night #2, I was used to it and relatively unbothered.

    Khao Sok is also known for snakes, spiders, and wait for it…. Leeches. Also something I didn’t do a lot of research on until I was already in Thailand. The bug spray they sell here has leeches on the bottle, that’s how common they are. If you aren’t terribly familiar, don’t Google it. I needed to know what to do if/when I get them on my body. They aren’t painful but just annoying and scary. I won’t get into the details, don’t Google it. I don’t spook easily but the darkness, the sounds, the leeches… I couldn’t help but wonder that maybe I pushed the comfort zone a bit far. Again, after day and night #2, I wished I stayed another night. I was told the park tours weren’t running because of the lack of tourists but I got lucky and squeezed in with a Belgian couple this morning. An hour ride to the where the long tail motor boats take you out on the lake off we went.

    Let’s start with the cave. Let me preface by saying I’ve been in caves before. Let’s choose 50 Americans at random, I would guess 30 wouldn’t have gone in more than half way. Joie would have ran out. Google a movie called “The Descent.” That’s what this cave felt like. Creepy level 10. If you don’t like the dark, small spaces, spiders, or bats, this ain’t for you. Crawling on all fours to get through passages and spiders the size of your hand were a thing. There’s no light except your head lamp so if those went out for some reason… So obviously terrifying, BUT fucking rad, I loved it. Our guide told us, “Don’t worry nothing in there can kill you. Hurt you, sure.” I dropped a lot of F bombs in there. Honestly, I was good but the spider got me. We shined our head lamps on it for a bit then away for a sec, then back on it and it was gone. That’s when your brain has to remind your body how to breathe.

    Let’s talk about the lake. Pure beauty. The water is emerald green and there are several canals lined with mountainous rain forest peaks. It reminds me of Avatar. The most peaceful and serene place. We stopped at a floating resort for lunch (there are a few of them on the lake. Floating huts you can stay in) and had some mediocre food, a beer, and I took a kayak out for a nap. The only thing I didn’t like about the lake is that there’s no history, it’s a fairly new man made lake. Has to be in of the most beautiful lakes in the world though. There were some gnarly sounds coming from the rainforest and trees moving around in the distance, and then the guide reminded us there are wild elephants roaming around. Prior to that my mind immediately went to every movie ever with the big scary thing coming and moving trees out of the way as it got closer and closer. I know, I need to chill, I’m meditating.

    Like I mentioned, after day and night #2, this place honestly became one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever been to, regardless of the endless sounds and/or darkness. I love it here. I think everyone might have a minor freak out moment at first but I can’t get over how pretty it is. I just sat on the river’s edge today for a couple hours. I have to admit I had quite the mental battle with going for a swim but remembering the whole leech thing just terrified me and I couldn’t do it knowing that if I did it, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. Soon after I saw about a dozen Thai people tubing down the river having a blast. After day and night 2, I had an amazing breakfast waiting for me with flowers decorating all the plates, my own private view into the garden, and even made friends with the hotel owner’s friendly black cat (I hate cats, or I did. I’m a Buddhist now) which sat on my lap as I ate breakfast.

    The owner, May, made the best brownie, butter cake, and banana bread EVER. I told her she needed to sell this shit and she showed me her jam/marmalade making business. She sells bottles online and records classes for people to subscribe to online and make them at home. I told her I loved her side hustle and if she was in the states, she would crush it at Whole Foods, Sprouts, etc. She pulled up a chair and we chatted for an hour. She’s managing a once very successful eco-resort prior to the pandemic, after working for a US travel agency that went bankrupt (everyone does everything online now obviously), and has 2 kids to take care of that can’t go to school physically. She has a smile on her face everyday and literally puts little flowers in all my food. She texts me every night asking what I want for breakfast the morning after. She sent a wire transfer to my driver in Koh Samui today because it would be too difficult for me to do it, or mail him cash (I left my souvenir bag at the ferry office and my driver, Jar, went to pick it up and mailed it to my next destination in Krabi). The kindness and love I’m experiencing on this trip is unreal.

    I was honestly embarrassed to tell her my last job did a number on my mental health. I was embarrassed to tell her I wanted more money when I was making more than enough. Embarrassed to tell her I was a perfectionist to a fault. I told her anyway, she was a good listener. She said, “We made good money and then we made nothing for 2 years. We turned into farmers and lived off the land. I created the online business because I’m passionate about food and it makes me happy, we managed. Happiness and family is the most important thing.” I told her about my culinary experience and she really wants me to chase that career like her friend did. I told her we can be WhatsApp penpals and I’d keep her updated. She is genuinely interested in knowing how well I’m doing in life when I get back home. I bought 4 bottles of her marmalade. Bless this woman and this beautiful place of peace and serenity.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 23

    4 Island Speedbooat Tour - Krabi

    November 14, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ 🌧 81 °F

    The last week of the trip will be spent in the Krabi area, including Koh Phi Phi (where I am now). The Phi Phi islands are part of the Krabi province and about an hour from Krabi Marina. I stayed in a villa in Krabi just above Ao Nang beach, filled with restaurants and tourist shops. About 50% of this area was open and I had 2 tours cancel on me until I found one with enough people to let it ride. A tour is just the best way to explore all of the nearby islands vs. having to book a water taxi to each one. But first order of business immediately upon arrival…rent the best machine ever developed by man/woman, the Honda Click 125cc. 0 to 100km/h (metric guy now) in a minute flat. First stop was the best tailor in Krabi, and maybe anywhere in Thailand, King’s Fashion. It usually takes 2-3 fittings (3 days) to get a perfectly tailored suit to fit your body. I ordered 2 suits the first fitting, then somehow by the 3rd fitting I had 3 suits, a winter blazer, and 4 shirts. I couldn’t resist, the cost was just so much less than the US (time to get dressy in SD).

    I honestly hated the sales guy though. I kept telling myself, he’s just excited to see a customer, let him be. Imagine a used car salesman that pops the trunk and is also selling snake oil. Literally spewing lies left and right, pretending to almost die when you say it’s too expensive (First offer was. Same price as US tailor). All I had to do was read reviews to find out what a “final price” was. “Please let’s not do the back and forth dramatic negotiations, it reminds me of work,” I said. He went on and on about how I’m his favorite customer and his boss is going to give him 20 lashes then lock him in a dungeon for a week if he finds out I was given these rates. I eventually just said in the nicest way, please stop, I’ll pay whatever you want if you just stop talking. He even tried adding 5% PayPal fees at the end because he forgot the credit card machine (I spent almost a grand so Thai Baht wasn’t an option) and sent me a charge with a note which read “please cover the 5% 🙏🏿 .” I said no shot, and he replied “no worries at all, I’ll take care of it.” I won’t single out where he was from but he wasn’t Thai. Regardless, the tailor work and quality was really well done so all smiles here.

    Ok back to the tour, as always, the boat was almost 100% Thai tourists…and then me, until we picked up 2 women from Spain at Railay. Per usual, everyone stares at me like they haven’t seen an American in a while, or ever. I’m used to it by now, I politely smile when I catch them. Sometimes I forget I’m wearing a mask so I always make sure to do a quick dip of the head, a condensed version of a bow. I usually get one in return. First stop was the famous Railay Beach. I had no idea it was a very popular location for rock climbing and if I hadn’t injured my big toe a while back (it’s taking 6 months for my toenail to grow back, sorry TMI), I would be 100% down, it looked awesome. The cliffs and jagged rock from the cave hanging over the water is beautiful. There were two signs at the beach I couldn’t ignore…1) jellyfish fucking everywhere, beware and 2) Portuguese man of war jelly fish spotted, be fucking aware. If you don’t know what that is, ask the Google. That to me is equivalent of a sign for sharks, so I chilled on the beach.

    We stopped at 3 more islands and snorkeled at 1 one of them. The islands are stunning. They remind of the islands in the Bahamas but a lot more flora, fauna, and landscape. Bohemian waters are a light blue everywhere, these waters were an emerald green, and every shade of blue. Visibility wasn’t great because it was cloudy but the water is literally bathtub temp. I met a 14 year old Thai kid that approached me with, “You are an American right?” I said yep, technically. “I have questions,’’ he said. I laughed and said “Ok, go.” His English was very basic and I’ve learned on this trip to speak slowly and get rid of all slang. “Are there sharks and snakes where you are from? I like sharks and snakes.” “Yep, big ones, that eat people.” I replied. We went on for 30 minutes about sharks, snakes, free diving (his clear attempt at flexing his skills which I gladly entertained to make him feel like a boss), the jungle, and tv shows/movies. His dad watched from a distance smiling and bowing at me every time I looked.

    Soon, everyone on the boat wanted to ask me something. I really just want to wear a t-shirt that says, “I’m approachable I promise. No, I am not famous or an athlete. I have 2 Moderna vaccines (that is a very common question and people are stoked when they hear Moderna like it represents royalty or something)” in Thai. That night for dinner I went to CoNam, which was very highly rated. Of course per usual, I’m the only one there. I start to chat it up with the server and I asked about that. He said they used to serve over 800 people per day. The food was the best Thai I’ve had so far on the trip and it cost be less than $10. Massaman Curry was fire. The chicken skewers with spicy peanut sauce, fire. Crispy roti, fire. Again, I tell him I’m a chef because I hope it makes them feel good about their food. Again, it works. He wants to tell me all about it. He stands and watches me finish my food from a distance. I keep looking over, he keeps smiling at me, I keep giving him a thumbs up. This warms my heart, and what it’s all about honestly.

    People are always curious about why I went to cooking school, and it’s really simple as I described in an earlier post. It brought me closer to one of a few universal languages, food, something that brings people together regardless of anything else. I can only think of art/music and love being the other two. Food is an expression of love, creativity, and culture. My next post will include a similar food experience after my next boat tour yesterday.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 24

    Phi Phi Islands Speedboat Tour

    November 15, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ 🌧 81 °F

    So I booked the Phi Phi Islands tour knowing I would be spending 3 nights in Phi Phi later because every tour is about 50/50 on cancelling due to lack of tourists and I didn’t want to miss seeing the islands in case everything cancelled in Phi Phi. I wasn’t disappointed. Well, after I got over the morning. I woke up and it was pouring rain, dark grey, gloomy. You start to question your plans for the day, but I remembered the positive thinking parts of Think Like a Monk and told myself to grab some coffee and fucking handle it. I was really upset I didn’t make time for myself to meditate and do breathe work like I do on most mornings and to no surprise, I was grumpy as fuck the entire morning. I don’t and won’t preach about my awakening experiences on this trip because that’s too fucking cliche, but I will tell you this: the book says the only way you know meditation, breathing, etc is working is if when you don’t do it… you miss it. I’ve been doing a half ass version of all of these things now for a few months and really went for it on this trip…it works. I’ll stop there.

    We got rained on for an hour straight. It was cold for the first time in almost a month, everything was wet. I was not happy to say the least. Trying as hard as I could to be grateful, to think of the positives, but sometimes you’re just pissed and can’t shake it. We’re about an hour into the boat ride to Phi Phi and almost at our first stop when the clouds clear, the rain stops, and the sun is trying to break through. We arrive at Phi Phi Lagoon and I start to feel like a big dummy for being such a brat (to myself, not anyone else), IT’S BEAUTIFUL. I haven’t seen anything like it before. A giant emerald green pool with cliff rock formations surrounding. I am so thankful for the lack of tourism because there are about 10 other boats when typically there’s literal traffic coming in and out, 50+ boats. I jump off the boat and go for a swim, just tread water and float on my back staring at the cliffs overhead.

    At that point I tell myself this is a learning lesson and one I’m so grateful for because until you experience the shift in mindset from negative to positive, you won’t realize negative energy is 100% wasted energy. My negative energy didn’t awaken the sun gods, it didn’t do anything to help anyone including myself. It probably made everyone on the boat terrified to say hi to the poopy American. Reminding myself I’m in Thailand and not at my job I hated over the past 2 years didn’t work at cheering me up, nothing did. I can only hope next time reminding myself of the time I wasted on negative energy for a couple hours of shitty weather, will change my mindset. Visualization is a powerful mediation technique and one I’ll include in my practice moving forward. Ok let’s move on.

    Next stop was the Viking Cave. It’s called that because there are Viking writings inside the cave but unfortunately it’s closed off to tourists. Sad because that’s the shit I live for, real history is fascinating to me. I’m obsessed with ancient civilization, ancient treasures (don’t ask why, I can spend a hour on Google searching for lost treasure, it’s a thing) etc. I’m secretly a dweeb, a big soft nerd, surprise. Snorkeling around the corner was the real treasure though and I’m really sad I forgot my waterproof phone case on the boat. It’s about a 150 meter (you get it yet?) swim to a private small beach with cave-like rock formations hanging over the white sand (just like Railay). Everything from the beach to the boat was snorkel town. The guide said anyone that spots a black tip reef shark is lucky/gets good luck. Guess who spotted one? This dweeby soft nerd. He/she was like 1 meter (not a yard or 3 ft) long, little dude/dudette. All types of colorful fish. Characters from Nemo were all there (I fucking love that movie).

    Next stop was Maya Bay where Leo Dicap’s movie, the Beach was shot. It’s illegal to go onto the beach, but we got close enough. The guide made a joke, “Line up to take pictures with Leo (me) at the front of the boat.” I laughed, saw a few smiles, but that’s about all. The audience was literally all the same as the trip the day before. Maya Bay is picturesquely beautiful and maybe one day I’ll risk Thai prison to swim to shore. Next stop was Monkey Bay where you can stop to hang out with the monkeys but the guide informed us we would get close enough for pics but the monkeys here have known to be a little too frisky. Cheeky little fuckers have bitten a few people and swam up to boats and tried to steal them like little Jack Sparrow pirates (only one of those is true). Final stop was Bamboo Island. Pristine white sand beaches, water waist deep for meters and kilometers (catching on yet?), and a box lunch courtesy of the tour that was actually quite good. Fried chicken was fire. After lunch I found a nice cushy spot to do some breath work and the mediation I missed in the morning, felt amazing.

    In all, it was a perfect day, even after the cold and rainy morning. That night, I had to do my 3rd fitting for the suits, return my bro-to (that’s a play on moto), and buy my mom some gifts so I ran out of time to get dinner. I Googled the only place open by my villa since I had to walk and it was late, and found a pho stand. A woman with a few tables and chairs and a food cart she was serving out of. It honestly looked sketch but all street food stands aren’t very inviting. It’s soup so it’s the safest of foods to eat (bacteria gets killed when water boils) so I said fuck it. I also was in a meh mood since I had just got finished dealing with snake oil used car sales suit man so I needed some comfort food.

    This woman was serving up the most delicious chicken soup I have ever had, better than any pho in SF, SD, or anywhere else. It was 40 baht per bowl, that’s just over $1, and you get a good size bowl with all the fixings you want to add, and a big chicken leg. I had 2 bowls. She spoke some English and she knew I liked it after ordering a 2nd bowl but when it was time to give her 80 baht, I told her “You should charge more,” and handed her 200 baht (just under $7). She didn’t know what to do, I honestly think I made her feel uncomfortable but my intention was so pure. I told her it was the best chicken soup I have ever had and I wish I knew about her stand earlier since I leave tomorrow.

    On to Phi Phi where I’m back to resort life at the SAii Phi Phi Village Resort. I’m actually typing this up right now in a beach chair at the SAii and the sun is setting behind me and the hills. It’s starting to sprinkle a little and I don’t mind it at all, but then a rainbow forms like I’ve never seen. A full rainbow from one side of the sea horizon to the other perfectly wedged in between the the 2 hills and also perfectly in front of my view of the bay. The sky turns burnt orange, pink, purple and it’s one of those moments where your jaw drops in awe, and I look around to see everyone gathering from the resort with the same expression on their faces.

    There’s also a “Love Tree” here where you and your sigo buy a heart and put your names on it then hang on the tree. I think I booked a honeymoon/anniversary resort on accident… I’m used to everyone staring at me awkwardly except this time it’s because I’m alone, not American.    Read more

  • TravelerThailand
    Day 26

    Scuba Diving

    November 17, 2021 in Thailand ⋅ 🌧 79 °F

    My final activity day in Thailand… SCUBA. I did scuba diving in the Bahamas 8 years ago so I’m thinking this is going to be same same. Similar, but definitely different. I remembered it being so much easier back then, but maybe we were much shallower. Had to watch a 20 minute PADI training video, took a quiz, then we took a massive dive boat out to Phi Phi Ley (where I did the speedboat tour). We practiced in a pool for an hour before we went out in the Bahamas but the practicing was done in the open water here, and was about 15 minutes long. Pretty much all the “what happens if shit goes wrong” techniques. Since I dove before, as long as I wasn’t panicking I would be let off my “leash” to do my own thing. Quick fact, I am actually scared of the open ocean. Humans should not be in there, that’s not our element. Important thing for me is visibility, or not knowing if there isn’t visibility.

    There was a very nice Pakistani family from Islamabad joining us and only the wife was diving. The husband is terrified of the ocean. Our instructor was awesome, a young dude from Brazil, Marcel. He told me the other diver would need a lot more attention and I said ok, no worries I’ll figure it out in typical confident fashion, knowing damn well if I see a sea snake I’ll pass out (they are among the most venomous of snakes, Google it). The schedule is 2 dives, 2 locations, about 45 minutes each with lunch in between. We aren’t allowed to dive more than 12 meters (I’m sorry, it’s here to stay. Almost 40ft) unless certified. That’s pretty fucking deep so two things become difficult: 1) equalizing the pressure in your ears and 2) regulating your breathing.

    1) Everyone has experienced pressure in their ears, either in the water, or due to altitude change. Except in the water it happens way faster and is way more intense. You need to equalize that pressure every meter or so. In other words, plug your nose, then blow air out through your nose. The air has nowhere to go except… you guessed it. That needs to happen all the fucking time, or else your head explodes. No not literally, but it’s very painful. I had trouble with this because it’s a simple and subtle process but I was blowing too hard and made myself dizzy for a few seconds…then my right ear hurt…10 meters deep, then the panic breathing starts and you have to calm yourself down. On to breathing.

    2) Regulating your breathing simply means smooth deep relaxing breathes. Under water, you tend to breathe much harder, or at least I did at first. When your lungs fill up with air, you float to the surface, when you breathe out, you sink, simple right? Not so much. So when Marcel let me go off on my own, I have to stabilize on my own, meaning I have to know the right amount of air I’m taking in vs. breathing out or else I float or sink. This is called buoyancy. You are equipped with a buoyancy control device (BCD) but I’m not experienced enough to know how to use it. It’s basically an inflatable tube you wear with a control switch on inflating/deflating to stabilize you under water. Because I don’t know how to use it/don’t want to, Marcel said I have to use my breathing to control buoyancy. At first, the constant thought process is, “Shit, too deep of a breath, I’m going up. Quick, blow it all out. Shit, I’m sinking too fast I need to de-pressurize my ears I blew out too much too fast. Shit, I’m sinking too fast because I’m not breathing due to me focusing on my ears. Quick, take a deep breath.” You get it? This takes a little while to get right. Oh ya, and don’t look now but there’s a shark.

    First dive about 5 minutes in, black tip reef shark pops up to say hello and takes off. He/she was about 5 ft long and honestly, not scary at all. Far more afraid of us than we were of him/her. Next up on the underwater zoo of fright, the Giant Moray Eel. This fucker was scarier than the shark by far, looking at me dead in the eyes as he popped out from the coral. He wasn’t so scary at first just seeing his face but then more of his dad bod popped out and he was a big boy. I made sure to take a deep breath to give the guy some space. The coral is every color you can think of, fish everywhere (I kept thinking of Finding Nemo). Schools of yellow snapper all tightly formed together, hundreds of them. Crazy looking starfish and sea urchins, sea cucumber looking things, and some fish that are not shy at all swimming right up to your face.

    2nd dive was much easier since I was way more comfortable in the water. There were times where the instructor was busy with the other diver and I would just go off and hang out with the camera man (he knew how to spot all the cool stuff). Checked out a lion fish but not too close since their poisonous, a bed of sea anemone with little Nemos playing in it (my favorite part of the trip), and a giant sea turtle. The camera man kept telling me to get close but this dude was large and we were interrupting his delicious coral dinner. So I take some shallow breaths in and some deep exhales and get real close, then the turtle turns around and looks at me like he wants all the smoke. I tell the turtle I understand this is his domain and I apologize for interrupting his din din (in sign language of course) and we have a legit Mexican standoff until I swim the fuck away. I understand he’s harmless, but maybe he’s smart and goes for my air tube, who knows. I have a furry son at home.

    Definitely the best way to wrap up my trip and I’m definitely getting PADI certified on my next trip.    Read more

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