Kingfisher

Dave Barry said " If you’re looking for a vacation concept that combines the elements of outdoor fun with the element of potentially knocking down a tree with your face, you can’t do better than skiing.”

Let's just get this out the way. Skiing is HARD work! If you're a beginner like me, you'll be amazed at what you were not prepared for ....

First you have to buy all this gear which is pretty expensive. Then, every morning you need to put on these 16 layers and still breathe. Then you have to rent snow boots which are unbelievably difficult to put on and then, when on, your feet will feel like they are caught in the jaws of a crocodile.

Then, each boot weighs 2kg and its uneven on the bottom and now you need to learn how to walk in them whilst in the shop. And it then it turns out it's harder to walk in them on the pavement and really interesting to actually walk in them in the snow!

Then you have to learn how to carry 2 poles in 1 hand and 2 heavy metal skis over your shoulder with your helmut and goggles on your head. Now you need to walk to the bus, get on the bus with all this kit and get off, squashed with all the other skiers.

Now you've arrived at the ski resort . So now you need to carry all of this stuff, eventually put it down, and learn how to clip yourself in and out of your skis. And just when you do that you realise that the icy ground beneath you is taking your skis in one direction while you try and manoevre your skis and poles (which are as tall as you are) in another direction, but the 4kg boots are weighing you down and brain is screaming WTF and then..... then you look at the baby slope and you think " not a F am I going up there, I can hardly keep my balance standing straight"

The above is accurate and was repeated every day for the last 3 days.
Along with the embarrassment of watching 2 year olds speed past you.

If it wasn't for my handsome ski instructor (Karl 😉) to painstakingly and slowly teach me, I would have given up because it's hard for a beginner who has never ever walked on snow and hates anything where the ground beneath her moves or is uneven 🤣

Just a warning though... make sure your relationship is rock solid so when you do lose your sense of humor, and you know it's just temporary ☺️

It's been 3 days and I am proud to say I can get down a green slope slowly and can turn and snow plough.
Just for the record though, this was not possible without a couple of tumbles. I stopped counting at around 6 times.
Which is why I am posting today. Today I cannot ski, I am so sore and a little battered and bruised. I will spare you all my bruise photos, but there are many! So it's rest and a hot soak in the bath.

On the plus side, it is SPECTACULARLY beautiful up there and makes for some gorgeous pics! The best part (for now) is still that beer at lunch time though!

Now I can manage sort of on my own, Karl is free to do his runs and get some proper skiing in. No idea what the next 3 days have in store, but gonna take it easy and just practice practice practice.... ⛷️⛷️⛷️

My closing 5 top ski tips for beginners

1. You will look good, but you will fall- it's law
2. You will fall, sometimes it's not even on the slopes!
3. The FIRST technique you must learn is how to stop and/or slow down, else you will fall.
4. Never ski more than 3 hrs a day, after this your legs won't work, and you will fall
5 Pack some Epsom salts for a bath later because you will have fallenRead more